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Observing a lucid dream while in it

Ok so last night I was aware I was in a dream and it was very strange. There's going to be some things that are hard to describe. Anyways I decided not to mess around greatly and just sort of once more observe how my thoughts and feelings were projected onto the world around me. I have lately come to recognize the connection between the dreamer and the dream-world and I think the key to learning to control your dreams is learning to control your thoughts and feelings while in one, though of course first you have to be aware of what you are thinking and feeling! Anyways onto the dream.

There really wasn't any major storyline. I was in a small town again, which I explored at my leisure. Regrettably I can't recall most of what I did, as I was woken from it abruptly and whenever that happens I always forget like 90 percent of a dream. Anyways the last thing I remember doing in the dream was wanting to go and see my crush, who happened to be working at a toy store at the mall. I was already there and he walked in when I realized for whatever reason I wasn't showered, didn't have make-up on and generally looked like a mess, I don't even think my hair was brushed. So I snuck out without saying anything. This is where I get mad at myself because I KNEW I was dreaming but for some reason I was all set on dressing up and then going to talk with the guy I liked instead of you know doing something amazing. Ugh. Anyways I went to my house in the dream. I took a shower but when I got out and looked for my hairdryer I found it lying in the corner completely burnt like it had exploded or caught on fire. I noted the strangeness of that and then noticed a book lying on the floor I had been reading earlier in the dream. It was sort of weird, about two young guys who fell in love but everyone was cruel to them because they were gay and they ended up committing suicide together at the end because they snapped and couldn't take the bullying. I remember I was like "why did I read that" because most of the book was romantic smut which I'm not really into. I felt kind of disturbed by the ending and was talking to myself about it as I got dressed/put on makeup, etc. I remember saying "I get that they were bullied but geez if I were them I wouldn't have killed myself." As soon as I said killed myself the wind gusted outside very loudly and I shut up. As the breeze died down I quickly moved on to talking about other things. It was really weird and I felt sort of unsettle by that unexpected occurrence. As soon as I began to feel unsettled I immediately noticed a shifting of my surroundings that was very subtle, the room got this somewhat sinister atmosphere and the colors grew duller. I struggled to change my mindset and act cheerful before I started accidentally creating monsters or something when suddenly I heard a sound that felt like it was coming from very far away. This was also weird.

It took me a moment to realize I was hearing someone knocking at the door. But the knocking wasn't coming from the door to the room I was in, in fact it felt as if it wasn't even coming from the dream at all, but someplace far away instead. I heard my brother's voice, again with that odd distance to it (it's hard to explain, sorry. The best I can compare it to is when I would do these experiments to see if I could make my body fall asleep but keep my mind awake, and everything sounded very far away and muffled) He was also speaking with this slur like a stroke victim or something which I was somewhat unnerved by. Anyways he was telling me to open the door and let him in, he had to use the bathroom or he left something in there, I don't really remember what he wanted but he was agitated. I got to thinking what if this wa happening in real life and I was hearing it while in my dream? Waking up to go open the door for him in that case would end my study of the dream which I didn't want, but I knew I couldn't just ignore him. I tried to focus on moving my real body while remaining in the dream. Then I heard my other brother's voice call out to my brother who was knocking and tell him he could use his bathroom or whatever and then it got quiet and that bizarre out of dream noise left. (Of course now I know I wasn't hearing anyone outside of the dream, but that was still an incredibly weird thing.)

After that I called my friend and asked her to drive me to the store so I could buy a new hair dryer. I was going to meet up with my mom there since I had no money. I was woken up by my alarm on the way there. I'm mad that I can't remember most of the dream....because I recall during it since I knew I was dreaming I took special care to notice strange or out of place objects so I would remember them as symbols for later. Oh well. Anyways it was a weird but enlightening dream.

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Re: Observing a lucid dream while in it

Anna,
The dream starts out with you being yourself but not liking it {generally looked like a mess o I snuck out}. You are mad at yourself because you are 'only dreaming' about what you really wish for. When you go inward {house} you discover your thinking self is all 'burnt' up and causing your self anger {fire}. The two young gay boys are probably 'developing' masculine aspects that you need to accept instead of 'killing yourself' over it {committing suicide}. There is a lot about this new quality that you do not like. You are bullying yourself due to the emotions this 'new' aspect in your life is causing. You are trying to cover up some aspect of these emotions because you know it is killing another part of you. You are unsettled by the upcoming changes in your life {wind}. There are subtle changes taking place. It is a struggle to change your mindset, adjusting to the upcoming changes.
I think this part of the dream is addressing the expected changes in your life where you will be going to college and leaving behind old responsibilities {hopefully}.

The knocking at the door may be new opportunities, new possibilities. They seem far away. The brother in the dream may be addressing some personal experience but would likely be a 'relative' aspect of your masculine self. It is hard to understand the future aspects, you are agitated by the difficulties with these future changes. Your dream is these new experiences go as plan but real life gets in the way. The other self/brother, the masculine self you have been up to now, is calling for you to let go of your inhibitions {bathroom}and things will work out.

You need to develop a new mold of thinking. There is a fear you will have to rely on family {mother} for support {or vice versa} after you make the change from home to college. This alarms you creating an emotional conflict.

Look at the dream and my interpretation and see if it doesn't fit. There are always variables but in general i believe the dream is addressing exactly what is happening in your life as you contemplate the changes in your life and your future.


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Re: Observing a lucid dream while in it

I would agree with that. For example with the whole guy thing, in the dream he actually did say hi to me like nothing was wrong, it was me who felt embarrassed and ran away. At my new school I decided to do this little social experiment to see if I could fit in with the "cool girls" so as a result I've basically been completely false to who I really am (a dorky, laid-back kid) because I don't know I just wanted to try out a different role. I hate it though, the girls are all awful and only talk about other people and gossip, and I can't relax and just be myself for fear of judgement. It doesn't really matter though because in a few months I'll have graduate and will be able to return to "normal" in college. But yeah the guy I like is very similar to how I really am, very goofy and friendly, likes intelligent conversation, etc. So with him I can act like my true self but at the same time have to keep up the facade to keep up with the other group I'm in and it's all very confusing. So yeah.

I'm not sure what the developing aspects may be, or what exactly I am bullying myself over though, but I agree with the thinking self part. My brain has been on overloa lately thinking about this and that and everything. Again what thoughts I have given to te future are largely ones of hope that life will greatly improve. I do think it is very important for me to let go of my inhibitions and stop caring so much about the opinions of strangers, because it doesn't help me any. Anyways thanks for the interpretation! :) had an interesting/weird dream last night that I might post at some point today hehe.

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