Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
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Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

I had a dream last night that I recently realized was incredibly similar to one I had a while back. I will explain this theme more once I post the dreams, which are both fairly short.

I will start with the one I had a while ago. My friend and I were staying at a hotel with my mom, on some kind of trip or whatever. Next thing you know, these...marks start appearing on my leg. Like scratches. First they aren't that deep, or they're just little, but they were all over my legs, and I could see them forming but I didn't know what was doing it. The scratches got deeper and the new ones were bleeding. They were deep and red and they hurt a lot, so I couldn't walk very well. My friend and I were really freaked out because we had no idea how I was getting these. Then they started forming words, as if someone was literally carving them into my flesh. I had my friend read what it said and it had no relevance to me whatsoever, it was some kind of letter addressed to some duke or other royal figure somewhere. I remember saying "it's like somebody wrote a letter to someone and it ended up on my leg" it was terrible. It finally got bad enough to where we had to show my mom, and I'd probably need stitches. We showed her and she went pale and said we needed to go to the hospital, because they looked kind of infected. The last thing I remember her saying is "I think they're partly hallucinatory" and then I woke up.

Alright, now take a look at the dream I had last night. Some things in it didn't really make sense, but I'll try to explain it as best I can. I was hanging out with my friends, but throughout the day I would notice giant dinosaur footprints. They freaked me out, I was paranoid Godzilla was around and was going to come kill us. But nothing ever happened and my friends didn't seem to notice them. Another strange thing I noticed was that my arms were covered with angry red scratches, and I had no idea how they'd gotten there. As the day carried on the number of scratches seemed to grow until it got to the point where my friends became concerned. I tried to laugh it off and told them I'd probably gotten them from wrestling with my dog or something. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw a gigantic dinosaur foot. I freaked out because Godzilla had finally shown up. My friends just looked confused and asked what was wrong. Apparently they still saw nothing, despite the huge dinosaur foot being right there. As they denied its presence the foot shrank and became a fake rubber dinosaur glove thing, like part of a costume, so I stopped being scared of it. It floated over to me and started running its rubber claws lightly down my arm, which tickled. I was casually itching my arm which to my confusion caused my friends to panic and tell me to stop. They ran away and brought back a teacher (we were outside of the school) and he stopped me, speaking to me in a soothing voice like one would use to try to calm down a crazed animal or something. Then I noticed that scratches were forming where I had itched. I must have been scratching myself harder than I thought I was, which means anytime I had to scratch an itch during the day I had been seriously hurting myself and hadnt even noticed. This made me really scared, partly because I couldn't stop unconsciously hurting myself, and partly because when my friends told the teacher about Godzilla they said I was hallucinating. I thought I was going insane.

I have noticed these same painful scratches on me in dreams before, though not ones I remember as well. It is always shocking to see them. Realizing my hallucinations was the most disturbing part of last night's dream for me. Therefore I found it interesting that my mom mentioned hallucinations as well in the other scratch dream, referring to my scratches that time.

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Re: Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

Anna,
Legs are often symbolic of being able to control your life. it may refer to confidence in doing that. The scratch would suggest there are doubts or frustration. The small scratches may represent minor irritations. These are probably unconscious since you did not know what was causing them. The longer they continue the deeper they get and will begin to drain you of emotional energy {bleeding}. They will begin to hurt emotionally and perhaps physically. Not understanding the writing would be an inability to understand the unconscious forces that are causing the 'wounds'. The royal self may be addressing deeper issues involving your higher being. Those aspects would relate to issues from early life or possibly accumulated experiences over time. They may be related to issues involving your mother, emotional aspects that need healing. Hallucinations are message from the unconscious. This may suggest there are deep issues related to your mother or mothering itself.

Giant dinosaur footprints also suggest deeper emotional issues {dinosaur symbolizing old experiences that create emotional issues}. Godzilla is a monster and that could represent the devouring aspect of the mother. This may be addressing issues where you are having to be the 'mother' to your siblings and possibly issues with your mother {we have established your responsibilities to your siblings so that is a logical area to look to}. Scratches on your arms may suggest there are doubts or issues with your 'ability' with the 'parenting' issues. There may be a fear you will grow up just like your mother or/and the responsibilities you have to perform early in life are makig you to have to grow up early {Godzilla had finally shown up}. You have yet to realize the full impact of these emotional issues {they are mostly unconscious, imprints from earlier experiences}. You may be denying some aspects of the influences or/and your relationship with your mother. You have to wear a costume to cover up these true emotions. There may be repressed emotions {which would cause you to stop being afraid since you have pushed them into the deep unconscious}. This may be causing you to look to your masculine self {outside male teacher} compensating the inner emotions to do with the issues I have laid out {mother/mothering}. But this only makes it worse since you can not be your true self. The itching gets worse as does the scratching which leads to deeper wounds. The insanity would be retreating from the reality of the world you live in. So you have to create an alternative world using your masculine self to compensate for what is not being given in real life.

In several of your dreams there are references to earlier life issues. Either these are accumulative experiences that are forming who you are {like mother like daughter} or there were experiences early in life that you have repressed and have yet to discover consciously. The mother issues may relate both to your mother and her abilities as well as the strain of having to be mother to your siblings. These are deep wounds that are long lasting making it imperative you understand what they are. If not they could be an unconscious controlling agent in your later life. How do you feel about your mother and her abilities/responsibilities? Generally how a mother acts is how the daughter will act in her adult life. You may have issues with this now and your dreams are trying to help you resolve them {already}. Or/and the issues of having to fill the role of being mother to your siblings are an issue. This would not be how you would want your daughter to be and thus it is an emotional issue that has yet to be made conscious. Look at these 'mothering issues' and see where they may fit. The dreams are suggesting an element of denial so be truthful {to yourself especially}. To not to do so only pushes it deeper where it will be harder to resolve later in life {they will come up again in mid-life if not sooner}.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

I think it's interesting that there seem to be so many issues with my mom in my dreams when my dad is the one with who I have the most issues. If there's either later that caused me psychological scarring as a child it's probably him. But I guess I'll talk about that later. I do have problems with my mom that have surfaced fairly recently though. When I was a child, my mom was the best in the world. She was always there for me, while my dad was off at work. She was silly and vibrant and creative, always coming up with things for me and my siblings to do. She would sing me awake every morning and carry me downstairs to a big nice breakfast before school. I don't think I loved any other human being more than her. Where the trouble started was when we all got older and my younger sisters were born. And I know it's normal for the first couple children to receive the most attention, and that taking care of twins all on your own (my dad doesn't do jack around the house), staying up all night, etc is really taxing, things just didn't seem as wonderful as they did when I was young. My sisters were a surprise too, my parents wanted to be done having kids after me and my 3 younger brothers. But anyways my sisters never got near the attention and love I did. They were usually stuck in front of the tv all day, and my mom took them to daycare all the time. None of us had ever been put in daycare. Then we moved again which I think was the straw that broke the camel's back. There is no daycare here, so my mom was stuck with the girls all day. Me and my siblings (mostly me) played with them and watched them when we could, but we have school and homework and lives too, you know? My mom was incredibly stressed and always looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. She yelled at the girls, both my parents were always yelling at them and eveyone and it was the worst because I hate yelling more than anything and they would yell at the girls for things like being too loud when they played because they just wanted them to he quiet and watch tv all day. Half the time my mom wouldn't even put them to bed at night, I would, which bothered me because that was an important part of my childhood, having my mom read to me at night and sing me lullabies. My mom did things to leave the house all the time, it seemed like she was never at home, though that's probably an exaggeration. When I'd confront her on that she'd say things like "If I can't get out of the house I'm going to blow my head off." Which she wasn't serious about but her face and tone when she said it and it's just not something you want to hear from your mom anyways. Even my youngest brother hasn't gotten that much attention. When I was his age that's when the whole singing and carrying and story telling creative stuff happened and he just has to get out of bed and walk downstairs and gets toaster waffles or something. I feel like my youngest siblings never got to experience the full glory of our mom, and just haven't received as good am upbringing. My youngest brother is never even home, always out with friends since no one pays attention to him. When me and my other brothers were that age we all played together and I made up fantastic games to play but now me and my brothers are too old for that and there's an age gap, my sisters at least have eachother to play with but my younger brother has no one. Anyways all this has bothered me IMMENSELY and I have struggled relentlessly to try to make up for the attention and play time and whatever that my mom is no longer giving, but at the same time trying to put up with so much inner garbage and dealing with moving my senior year of high school, and school things and it's just too much and I feel like we've failed them.

Ok. Now to the second issue I have with my mom despite the fact that she has become an emotional mess. (She's much better now that we've sort of settled in here, but still) So with all the issues I was dealing with, I was really messed up when we first moved here. I was beyond depressed, it was more like emotional agony. There was too too much to deal with, and I was in constant unbearable emotional pain. When I began having suicidal thoughts to end the pain, I reached out to my mom for help, figuring she'd be there for me like she always was. I told her it might be best if I started seeing someone. She did not help. Instead she became set on saying there was nothing wrong with me, she didn't "see it," I just needed to toughen up. She said therapy was dumb, why did I want to tell my problems to a stranger, it would make other people look down on me, if I got labeled it would affect me the rest of my life, she talked about how when my grandma went to therapy for depression (she was different though she had actual clinical depression I was just freaking out by the fact that my life was falling apart around me) they loaded her up on drugs and ruined her life. She said a therapist was too expensive and wasn't covered by insurance. (Which I later found out it was included in our insurance and would most likely be very cheap since we have great insurance) Basically she fed me every excuse and actually told me the horrible pain I felt that left me incapacitated and in be for hours at a time was fake. I took matters into my own hands and went to see the school psychologist. But she was very busy so I only saw her for like 20 minutes every week and she wanted me to go see an actual psychologist but my mom wouldn't let me and we really couldn't even begin to scrape the surface of anything. Eventually I just quit going because it was embarrassing explaining to my new friends where I was going every week at lunch and having to get pity looks from the psychologist whenever I saw her in class (she was one of my teachers too). So I stopped that and became my own therapist as always. That's why I'm adept with figuring out my emotions, I have to or risk going over the edge. (It helps that I am fascinated by psychology :)) After that my worry for my former hero became mixed with disgust, anger and dissapointment at her for completely abandoning me at my time of need, for putting reputation above the help I seriously needed. Since then it's been up and down for me. Sometimes it's good sometimes not. So yep that's where I am now.

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Re: Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

Anna,
I'll give a more detailed response later but want to comment on your post. First let me say thanks for being so willing to share. Second, I do suggest you consider becoming a psychologist if you do have an interest in the profession. We have two opportunities in life to 'follow your bliss', doing that thing in life we love doing most. I had a great interest in psychology when I was your age but did not follow up on it. That was the first opportunity. The second opportunity happened by chance, what Jung termed a synchronistic event when I happened to see Campbell on television in his The Power of Myth program on PBS. That was 21 years ago and I have been with every since. That led me to Jung and then dreams. I discovered I had a skill for interpreting dreams and have developed my intuitive mind so to be able to understand dreams and interpret them. With your strong abilities to understand what i have provided in my interpretations I suggest you do follow up and determine if psychology is indeed your bliss. You do have an ability to comprehend dreams and I believe you will find them fascinating as I have.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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Re: Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

I used to really want to be a research psychologist. But then I figured it was a ton of school and I wouldn't make much money. So now I'm aiming for neurologist because hey, it's still dealing with the brain which I am also very interested in and so little is known about and I can do research on the side. Lot of school still, but a large salary too :) And yeah I don't mind sharing. It helps me know my stance in life to actually type or write out these things. Also like you said earlier I know dreams can't really be accurately interpreted unless you know what the backstory is, so I figured it wasn't helping me much to leave stuff out anyways. (Also dreams interest me IMMENSELY as does consciousness and other things like that. I'd love to do research on all that later in life, or just do something on it. I feel like dreams are immensely undervalued in our society. I'd like to help change that!)

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Re: Scratches and Hallucinations-Recurring theme

Anna,
Your dreams are 'telling' you the truth about your life. Whereas you have stated in some of your posts your family life is good, well you are now recognizing the realities. Dreams do that in order that you {and all of us} will be aware of our true emotional conditions. By knowing the truth we can do something to resolve the conflicts. By keeping them hidden {our shadow} they only manifest into something worse and often become unconscious controlling agents later in life. By acknowledging these issues now you have gotten a head start on resolving them. Knowing about these unconscious energies will provide insights to actions and behaviors that will come up later. You will be prepared for those things that have not been resolved. Hopefully you will be able to resolve them. Just by acknowledging them you circumvent their energies. They are no longer hidden. The ego wants to keep them out of sight. The dream wants to bring them to light. Being your own 'therapist' is a good way to work with these issues if you can not get help else where. It was my self therapy {Jung's Individuation Process} that helped me overcome my negative impulses and discover my true being. I am living from the positives, working with dreams and my websites all because I engage my shadow and brought it to consciousness. The shadow can not survive the light.

As for careers. Neurology is an excellent career choice. I try and keep informed on the new studies in neurology since they provide clues to the deeper psyche. And if you will continue to study dreams {and of course Jungian psyche} you will be at the head of your class. But there is one thing you said that you need to realize should not be the reason for making a choice in what you become. Doing it to make money. That is what society wants and when you live entirely by social rules you sacrifice your true being. You have to do what you love best and not because it makes you money. When you follow your bliss you will always have what you need in life, and you will have your bliss. If you follow money you may not have either. Do it because it is what you love doing most and you will never have to 'work' {because what you love most will not be work}. That is what the hero/heroine does. Even in stores where they set out to make money they end up becoming the hero by sacrificing their desire for money and save someone or some cause. That is what happened to Hans Solo in
Star Wars and is a common theme in mythology {George Lucas was student of Joseph Campbell and much of The Power of Myth was filmed there}. A quote from Campbell:

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.”

I know this to be true because it is what has happened in my life ever since I found Campbell and Jung and lived my own 'heroic' life {we all are heroes when we follow the hero path}. Follow your bliss and doors will open where you thought there were none. It is the law of Karma, cause and effect.

Food for thought. For you and our thought patterns are on a higher level.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You




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