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Re: Halloween but no candy for me!

So I have been taking the recurring feelings of guilt you have found in my dreams into consideration and I realized something during my yoga/meditation class. I do hold a lot of guilt, especially when it comes to my siblings, specifically my younger sisters. I have felt like it is my responsibility to sort of make up for my mom losing steam and basically be a backup mom to them and do all the things my mom used to do for me. But I can't always do this because you know between school and extra curriculars and just life in general, and so as a result I end up feeling not only like I've failed them as a sister, but as a mom too. I know that this is ridiculous and that it is not my responsibility to make up for my mom's shortcomings and yet it won't stop eating away at me. I desperately want my younger siblings to grow up and be happy and safe, so it really gets at me when I see they aren't receiving as much attention as I did. I mean I'm probably all worked up over nothing. It's not like our mom has become neglectful or anything, she's still amazing for running an entire household with so many people, and me and my oldest brothers probably just got ridiculous amounts of attention when we were younger because there were less of us! But I don't know it still bothers me. So yeah I finally recognized the guilt I was feeling due to my necessity to sort of "pick up the slack" for my mom.

I am somewhat confused at the masculine indentity aspect though. I will have to think more on what these traits may be that I need to develop. Perhaps it will come to me like the guilt thing did :) I did have a verrry interesting lucid dream involving several of my male aspects which I meant to share quite a while ago but forgot about....oops. I'll probably post that sometime soon as well. It was my first lucid dream where my main focus was talking with my subconscious non-symbolically, like you suggested and getting straight to the point. So yeah.

(Hopefully someday I will be an official doctor! Haha.)

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Re: Halloween but no candy for me!

Anna,
It is only natural to have such feelings about your siblings. Especially after having the attention you received early in your childhood that they are no getting. Being a surrogate mother is tapping into those archetypal instincts you are born with. Just as a turtle knows to flee to the ocean upon birth, mothers {and fathers} have an innate drive to be a mother. These experiences should be valuable when you do become a mother.

As for the masculine aspects. The mere fact you have had to be the mother in so many instances is a 'masculine' trait. Taking control, being strong, persevering, you are developing important masculine traits {young boys} to balance what is lacking in your personality. That is also a positive since to have a truly harmonious adult life you need both masculine and feminine aspects to be balanced. Those qualities lacking in the conscious life will be the opposite qualities in your dreams that need attention. This is what the young boys symbolize in your dreams {as well as possible relationships with your brothers}. Take this as a positive thing and let it move forward in your dreams.

I am glad to know you are taking yoga classes. To understand these vital Eastern concepts will prove to be valuable as you grow older, three things that greatly influenced Jung {and Campbell} was Buddhism, Gnosticism and Alchemy. Eastern philosophies, especially Buddhism {which is more of a psychology than a religion} are far advanced in so many ways than what we are taught in Western cultures. All three deal with 'transformations' of self to the higher Self. Yoga is 'letting go of the ego', to concentrate ob your breath and not to think. Western medicine has discovered the valuable properties yoga has on the body and its physical and mental health. Now that you are participating in the physical yoga I suggest you go to the next level and learn about 'mental yoga' and its positive affects. Enlightenment is illumination of the soul. Eastern philosophy is more attuned to soul work than is the West {dream interpretation is soul work-psych-ology, psyche being Greek for soul}.
Again I see great promises for your future Dr. Anna.
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