Hi Jerry,

I am happy to share my experiences here. Yes, my father wasn't a good role figure. I have not felt his presence in my life strongly, his support, his advice or his interest. At times I do feel it, but very rarely. He is not an outspoken or emotional person. He didn't grow up with a father in his life and was brought up by his mother. My own mother is the stronger person in the family and she is the outspoken or more caring one in the way she expresses it vocally and physically.

The men I have sought have been only positive at the start. I learn a thing or two from those relationships but they were not there to stay for long, there was no desire from any of them to be there for me as a long term partner to share dreams and life experiences. The men I found seemed to be strong at first only to show their weakness later on. That's how I perceive it. They were always creative, masculine, much older then me. I guess in this sense I have been seeking this support only to find out it is not there later on. I have been looking in the wrong places and that is why my heart is hurt and trust doesn't come easily anymore.

thank you Jerry.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30 Australia

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes

Magdalena,
Could your father fit the description of the men you have had in your life. Promising at first only to be let down? The first thing to identify is why you choose these type men to begin with. Often that is influenced by early life interactions with male figures, especially the father.

Second would be to identify why they did not fulfill what you were looking for. It could be the same reason as the first. If they could not provide the fulfillment you need then what is it you do need? And why? There is always a reason for everything. They could not fulfill what you needed. It had to be partially their fault but could it have been what your seeking was something within you they could never fulfill? That was my experience in my failed relationships. I was looking for fulfillment my father never provided in my relationships. No matter who I married or had a relationship they could never fulfill what I was looking for. I had to resolve that myself. Fortunately I was able to after discovering Jungian psyche and his Individuation Process {self analyzation}.

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Jerry

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