Anna,
Life is as usual, your dad not there and your fears about family. But in the distance you see possible problems also. Your future is ahead of you but you feel stuck in the present. You feel you are not progressing as you should of wish you could.

Good thoughts deliver you from your fears. Escapism is thinking about the good possibilities. This is your mold of getting away from the pressures and stresses.

But there is a part of you that has been 'kidnapped' and it has to do with the masculine and authority. This is something you have had to do in your life. Be the strong person and take charge. You have been 'blackmailed' into having to be this 'adult' {you have to do it or else}. You are having to negotiate with this masculine part of yourself> It is not something you want to do but have gotten used to being that person {mother and dad to your siblings as well as to yourself}. You don't have time to 'revolt' since if you don't do these things they won't get done {mother and dad not living up to their responsibilities so you have to do it for them}. This has been a constant in your life {fortified based} your life being one of constants that influence who you are. You have the abilities {what else can you do?} to be the 'good guy' but it is taking a toll on you. You feel you can't move forward in your life as long as family needs you.

You are ready to move on to the next stage of your life, are getting things in order to do so. Your 'mothering' responsibilities is holding you back and this make your 'masculine self' angry {anger is a masculine quality}. Your higher ambitions are having to wait because of the mothering factor. You can't fight the brave new world because of your responsibilities. That is the terror{ists} you want to fight but are stuck doing the same ole same old stuff.
Melbourne Fence Pros ....http://www.melfencepro.com/


Jerry

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