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Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

I have normal dreams.
Sorry, I HAD normal dreams. Until he showed up about 2 years ago.
Who is "he"??? I don't even really know myself, but before we get to that I should address the fact that I hadn't seen him in months when he reared his head for the first time again last week. In my dreams of the past, he would remain in the background. Literally, he would watch the events unfolding in my other dreams from the distance--as if judging my response to them.
I don't know what it means, him showing up out of the blue. But I don't think it's good. I don't THINK it's good. But the only reason I'm telling a bunch of strangers is that I want to know if I'm right in my assumption.

The room was a stark white. The kind of white that's blinding to say in the least, and the only things in it were two chairs and a table. I was sitting in one of the chairs, and the other was empty. So I waited. At the time I didn't know what for, but I waited--and he came.
Now, keep in mind the most I could see of the man was his profile--he was leaning forward with his arms braced on his knees and his head dipped forward. His attire seemed a little odd, but casual none-the-less, he wore purple shorts and a white t-shirt. In my usual dreams I couldn't even see what he was wearing. "Then how did you know it was him?" It's not as him a person that invades my dreams, but the feeling that comes with him. Its a sense of awareness. That thing where you turn around--like completely around-- and someone is staring at you, and you don't even wonder how you knew.
I can't explain the feeling his presence gives me, but it was something humbling and a little scary.
He said to me (he didn't really "say it" but I heard it in my mind, and it echoed in the room), without looking up
"It's been a while hasn't it?"
In my dream I smiled at him (SMILED AT HIM??!!!) as if we were friends, and I agreed that
"Yeah, it has."
Repeat, I hadn't had a dream with him in a month or so.
Then he laughed, as if we were sharing an inside joke, and told me:
"I've been busy."
I asked him,
"What have you been doing?"
And everything froze. Time pulled to a stop, I couldn't move, and he didn't move either. I felt as if my question was wrong, like the kid who cusses in front of his parents, I shouldn't have said that.
He said bluntly and curtly, "Nothing."
He started doing this weird clenching thing with his hands. Making them into fists then flexing them again. It was the first time in the dream I felt truly scared, and some things about the situation of the dream started to alarm me, like the fact that this room had no doors--I couldn't escape him. Was that his doing? Did he want me trapped here?? I didn't even know why I was so scared of making him angry but...
"Who are you?" I asked him.
He freezes up again, but as he slowly started to raise his head, I was more curious than scared. I'd never actually seen his face in my dreams and part of me was eager to know who he really was...
His head lifted slowly, and the light in the room grew to blazing. In a split-second of blindness and confusion my dream ended and left me staring at the wall in the dark of my bedroom...

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

WhiteMaidenWest,
First, it could be important that I know your age. The reason I ask for your age and gender is both are important to understanding the dream. A younger person's dreams are usually more related to current waking experiences because they are still in that formative stage of life. An older person's dreams usually have a more reflective message where the dream is addressing past experiences/influences that are now {and throughout their life} causing emotional difficulties that need to be understood. I suggest you read my page {short page} A Simple Guide to Dreams to get an understanding of Jungian dream psychology. It will provide insights to how dreams function. This is the science of the psyche and not a 'psychic' interpretation using crystal balls and what not.

Your dream is dealing with an 'unknown masculine' aspect in your life. Because all dreams have at least two applications/meanings it is possible this dream is addressing an actual male in your life as well as your own inner masculine aspects, your animus. The waking person is 'unknown' because of the emotional experience associated with him was either forgotten or repressed. The animus aspect would be a trait or a set of attitude that you have yet to identify with or fully develop. We all have masculine and feminine aspects embedded within our psyche and the goal is to balance to the two so the waking 'emotional' life is balanced and harmonious.

The animus male within you knows all about you but you know little about this important psyche quality. 'He' is an aspect that has not be recognized or developed and needs your attention so these attitudes of 'taking charge' in certain situations, being assertive when necessary, ambition, strength, forceful can develop as needed. This male aspect is a part of your dreams because it is lacking in your waking life, there are already instances where you needed these masculine attitudes but they were not available. The description of the male in your dreams is one that applies to your already existing personality. Arms braced between the knees, head 'dipped' forward would suggest this is an attitude or trait you already possess, a submissive attitude that describes you act or feel in some aspect of your waking life. 'He' is watching, a view from within, your actions and demonstrating {by being in your dream} what is lacking and needed in your character that would make you stronger. Not knowing what he is wearing is not knowing how to use these vital masculine aspects, they are not a part of your personality {clothes in dreams usually symbolize personality traits and/or attitudes}. To realize this would be 'humbling' because it would bring about a stronger you. But it also be scary since it is an unknown and unused aspect.

As for an actual waking life experience involving a male {if applicable}, in this instance it would most likely be addressing an experience that has been forgotten or repressed. That would normally involve a traumatic emotional experience involving a male that has been pushed deep into the unconscious so the ego does not to have to deal with. The dream language 'don't really say it' does suggest there could be something that the conscious self does not want to be told, contents held in the unconscious. The dialog after that describing the encounter would be how your conscious self is treating the unconscious contents, one of wanting to accept this experience with the masculine (SMILED AT HIM??!!!) but also one of not wanting to consciously let him enter into conscious knowledge {everything froze. Time pulled to a stop, I couldn't move}. It is the wrong question because it is something your conscious mind doesn't want to confront. But because of its emotional energies it 'freezes' a vital part of your self, you waking self, which can be controlling in how you act in life and feel about yourself. They are unconscious agents that can control your conscious life without you being aware they exist.

The end of a dream is important. In your dream, when this masculine aspect does raise his head {wants/needs to become part of your 'mental' consciousness}, there is a 'blazing' {burning} response. That could represent anger {fire} or passion. It would be recognizing or admitting this experience or attitude into your conscious mind that would bring about such a response.

You must determine which of if both aspects fit {the first most likely does, the second possibility being the unknown}. As for the first, does the actions describe your personality? If it is also the second then it would be addressing an experience involving a real male, an experience that was emotionally disturbing and you do not wish to think about it. It may be something that is deeply repressed and not yet available to your conscious mind. Not yet but will one day will be. anything and everything that is within the unconscious will one day 'show itself' because nature's intent is to bring these things out so they can be understood. By understanding the experience and finally confronting them there can be a healing process. without that the emotional forces will continue to control your life unconsciously.

So which do you think it is? You may not understand the first as much as you should but that can be remedied by reading about the animus and your masculine aspects. the second, if it applies, will likely strike a cord [even if it is deeply repressed} because the emotional energies it holds can not withstand scrutiny. For me to determine which applies I would need to know more about your personal life {you would need to consult a psychologist who works with dreams in private sessions}. Knowing your age would help and a response to what I have stated may provided some insights.

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

WhiteMaidenWest,
A few more thoughts on your dream.

What happened two years ago in your waking life? I am assuming the guy who showed up in your dream is a dream image.

Your statement, "Who is "he"??? I don't even really know myself". Who he is says something you don't know about your self. Read you answer as you penned it. You don't know 'this part of yourself, this masculine part. Impressions from a dream are as important as the contents since the emotions you feel are true emotions. That suggests an animus aspect that is 'not known', and/or a repressed aspect {possibly involving a real male if this aspect fit} that your ego consciousness does not want to know because of the strong negative emotional energies. Again, was there such an experience from your past, possibly something from two years ago that created a strong emotional reaction, or something from that time period that brought back memories of something even earlier in life?

And why would he raise his head ago two weeks ago? Can you think of any associations between anything that may have happened two weeks ago and two years ago? Raising his head is raising your head {he is a part of you, or an emotional experience involving you}. Head could be symbolic of intellect, thinking, thought patterns.

There is a 'judging' element involved. Judging yourself unconsciously if to do with the animus. An unconscious judgement {usually involving guilt} associated with any personal experiences if a repressed aspect.

"I don't THINK it's good".
Again, an emotional feeling from the dream that is very important. I would feel it safe to surmise whatever the dream is attempting to communicate 'it is not about something good'. Consciously the ego doesn't want to know because of the emotional energies involved. Something not known to do with unconscious associations to the animus.

Rooms are 'compartments' of particular aspects of the psyche. I had a friend who had dreams of not being able to go into one particular room in her dream house {the house was her, her total psyche}. She was having an experience in her waking life where she was not able one particular thing. After some time she resolved the issue with that particular thing and then had a dream where she was able to go into the room.

Your 'room' has something to do with some unknown/unwanted masculine aspect. Dreams are therapeutic with the intent to help facilitate emotional healing. White, a positive color and often symbolic of healing, is a common symbol in dreams. Your room has two chairs {another 'two' in your dream -this is symbolic of opposites or emotional conflict}. You are in one chair but no one is in the other. That again is symbolic of an 'unknown' which is what is causing the conflict. You are waiting for this masculine aspect to show itself. And it has. In your dream.

"It is not a person that invades my dreams". That is pretty straight forward. The dream says what it means. But the dream language is seldom literal. The literal truth from the dream would be addressing your animus. A symbolic interpretation {again, every dream has at least two interpretations/applications} application could be a 'forgotten or repressed experience. The language may be saying the waking experience man is not a man but something less, a negative experience. That may be an over reading of the dream language but can be an appropriate assumption.

A sense of awareness. You sense something from the unconscious, and when you examine the whole self {turn completely around} it is staring at you. Something you did not see is ready to be seen. Unconsciously you already know, and when you begin to know it consciously you realize you already knew.

Now the dream is depicting a dialog within the dream {perhaps this was a lucid part of your dream?}.

He said to me without looking up.
"It's been a while hasn't it?"
In my dream I smiled at him (SMILED AT HIM??!!!) as if we were friends, and I agreed that
"Yeah, it has."
Repeat, I hadn't had a dream with him in a month or so.
Then he laughed, as if we were sharing an inside joke, and told me:
"I've been busy."
I asked him,
"What have you been doing?"
And everything froze. Time pulled to a stop, I couldn't move, and he didn't move either. I felt as if my question was wrong, like the kid who cusses in front of his parents, I shouldn't have said that.

This is an 'inside' job, to do with the masculine. A repeating of what we have discussed previously. Something is 'trapped' here, frozen in time, and in your head.

Eager to know what it is. This masculine aspect is what you are 'eager' to know about. Is it merely an animus aspect that needs to find expression in your waking life? Or is there something else. Knowing your age could be important in answering that question {at least for me to be able to answer it}. In a younger person there is more likely to be a more recent experience that has to do with this 'dream male'. In an older person it is more likely it is symbolic of a deep masculine aspect that has never been activated, allow to express itself. Usually a dream is focusing on both but one more so than the other. Knowing the dreamer's age helps to understand which.

At to consider in my response. If you give it a lot of thought you will probably be able to find associations in your waking life that match the dream experience. That is dreams are, a mirror of your true self at the time you had the dream. A month ago, two years ago, two weeks ago, these time spans are relevant to what the dream is trying to communicate. A weak masculine aspect in your personality and/or an actual emotional experience in your past that involved a male.
You can take it from there.
Let me know what you come up with.

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

First and foremost, I had not originally wanted to give you my age because I was under the pretense that it was likely no one would have anything interesting, or intelligent to say. That aside, you did surprise me with your accurate take on my dream.
Anyways, I’m 15 to clarify. And apologies for not having answered your response sooner, reason being I was still trying to sort out how to respond in the first place.
I think you're right in most aspects your interpretation, my dream actually makes more sense to me now that you've told me all this. When you said that "Him" appearing two years ago was apparantly a trigger for something that actually happened two years ago you were right. Which explains why I had such a dream a few weeks ago..Because I've figured that the same person that triggered those dreams the first time, triggered them this time. The reason that I couldn't see him is because, like you had said, he was a surpressed memory of the past that I didn't want to revisit...My reasoning behind feeling trapped in the room in my dream was actually because this person-- this person in my life--is someone that I want to, but I can't really avoid. I think in my dream, I was trying to escape the inevitable, because this person is actually back in my life now..So yeah.
That pretty much sums up my overall take on what you've told me. If you have anything else to add please let me know cause I do want to hear it!
Thanks alot for this, btw :) It really helped...

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

Oh, I also meant to add--you said something about my self-consious judging my real-life situation right? Well the person that came back into my life a couple weeks ago, I think my self-consious wasn't really sure how to take it. I mean, I didn't think it was a good thing-and even now I'm not entirely sure it's not a bad thing. Also, this person and I used to be friends so that would explain why I smiled at the person that appeared to be him. That he was wearing purple was probably the result of that being one of the last colors I can consiously remember him wearing.

Now, on the question that I asked him.
I asked, "What have you been doing?"...
I think that maybe the reason that time froze may have been because I didn't know what he'd been up to? Or maybe that was a question I self-consiously didn't want to know the answer to..I really don't know.

The end of the dream is the part I see with most clarity. The fact that I was actually "happy" to be able to see his face tells me that maybe the uneasiness in my dream was because of anticipation. Or like, anxiety-I was excited...but then I was scared. This makes sense because I knew I was going to see him again for real a few days in advance of when we would actually meet.

I think this dream was a result of my anxiety..

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

WhiteMaidenWest,
Age and gender are very important when interpreting dreams. Not so much perhaps for someone like yourself who at the age of 15 can understand how dreams function {I assume you read my page A simple Guide to Dreams}. Most 15 year olds would not understand or would not take the time to investigate the possibilities I laid out. A primary goal of my interpretations is to get the dreamer to think about what I offer and where it may fit in their life. You did a splendid job of doing that.

As for your dream and further insights. If I had known your age I would have looked at the 'masculine aspect' as likely being a recent and real experience in your life. Instead of focusing on inner masculine qualities as in an older person's dreams {older people tend to look back at life whereas younger people are looking forward, their life is still ahead of them} I would have looked to something more specific about the 'unknown'/repressed male. But because you apparently have a keen intellect you were still able to recognize how to fit into your waking life. Often those repressed experiences will be unlocked when there is a 'trigger' to help them open up to your conscious mind. At the end of the dream the masculine aspect {real male} raises his head which suggests something 'he' did triggered the memories from the past. His returning was an unconscious recognition of the bottled up emotions associated with past experiences involving him. Consciously you did not recognize this until you had the dream. You had the dream because there are unresolved emotional issues. Your dreams are therapeutic in they want to help in that resolution. If you kept them repressed they could have had unconscious control over your conscious life. Remembering the past experiences associated with this male brings it to the forefront where you can give thought to it and hopefully resolve whatever issues there are.

As to resolving those issues. It would be important to go back and give deep thought to what happened. Often, and especially when you are young, you tend to blame yourself for what someone else did to you. By analyzing what really happened and realizing it was not your fault, that removes a stigma of unnecessary blaming yourself. Not knowing the experience it is difficult to say much about it. But it is important to understand the experience with this guy and see what it is that is in conflict. Confronting that, and possibly confronting him, will help resolve the emotional conflicts. If he did something emotionally or physically wrong then it needs to be exposed. I suggest, if you have not already, talking to a trusted adult about the matter. If it was physical then it needs to be exposed not only to remedy your emotional needs but to bring justice. That will let you leave that trapped room. And if there is justice to be melted out it may stop him from doing it to others.

In summary, if the involvement with this male caused a serious {repressing it suggests it was} emotional experience then you need to recognize it and look to resolving the remaining conflicts. It was a psychological 'abuse' or experience then consulting someone can help resolve those issues would be most important. If were physical abuse you not only need to recognize and confront those issues but also let someone {trusted adult} know about it. If it happened to you it could happen to some other young girl or person. That could be the reason in your dream you asked him, "What have you been doing?"...
Has he been doing to others what he did to you?

Let me know your thoughts. If there is any additional information you wish to share you feel comfortable with you can do that {but only if you feel comfortable}. If you have any other recent dreams you can post them. Your dreams will continue to 'work' on this emotional conflict as well as any other related conflicts that may arise.

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

WhiteMaidenWest,
What happened two years ago that may have to do with these dreams? That time frame will be important to understanding what it is that is repressed.
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Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

I can see how knowing what it is that actually happened can would help you interpret things...and while I'm a little reluctant--I have indeed become somewhat trusting of you...so I don't see in true harm in telling you. Also, I don't see point in lying and telling you nothing happened.
When I was thirteen I was in 7th grade and I met this guy who was in highschool. Yes, we got together. Saving you the details, he was not who I thought he was. He was really manipulative and abusive. I didn't tell my parents because they adored him, he was--or his mask was--exactly what they wanted for me, they didn't know how he was when no one was around. I couldn't turn to my friends because they hadn't wanted me to be with him in the first place. So I didn't tell anyone, and it lasted for about half a year, then he moved away. And thats when I started having the dreams with a figure watching me in them. Now that I realize it was him, it makes sense because he was very controlling. Now, an old friend of his moved back into town and approached me a while ago asking if I'd seen him much--because he knew we used to be "close"--and when I told him I didn't really know, he started asking me all these questions about our relationship.
About a week after this was when I had the above dream..

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Re: Its been happening for too long...(this is a long one, guys)

WhiteMaidenWest,
There is always a stimulus for our dreams and the 'old friend' of the abusive guy showing up and asking questions is probably the reason you had this particular dream. It stimulated the unresolved emotional conflict you had with the abusive guy.

The dreams where you had a figure watching you is probably related to this abusive experience also. The 'figure' would be your own unconscious, its attempt to help reconcile the fear that still is 'watching over you' from the result of your year long experience with the abusive guy. The experience possessed emotional energies that remain and as long as there is the fear {of him and the experience} you will continue to have dreams about the guy, and the figure. A reason for that is you have bottled up the emotions, not having shared the truth about the guy with parents and friends. As long as that remains the case 'he' {the abusive guy} will continue to have access to your psyche. I suggest you talk to your parents and let them know the truth. As for informing friends about it I would only do so if it becomes a topic of conversation where you need to let the truth be known. I would not make it a point to tell everyone because some may not understand the severity of the relationship and mis-conscrew your reasons.

There is one other item that may be important. You state your parents approved of the relationship. You would have been 13 at the time it happened. Was their approval one of liking him for a friend? You were/are very young to be in any type of serious relationship. If it was an approval based on more than just friendship I would question the parenting. That in turn would pose questions to possible deeper fears you may have from even earlier experiences where there was abuse. The figure could be of other unresolved abusive experiences. Think back to earlier life and see if there may be something frightening that could be repressed in your unconscious. Could there have been earlier experiences where there was abuse?

Again, it would be important that you get this out of your system and talk to someone you trust {an adult}. As long as you keep it bottled up the longer it will fester. It needs closure and the only way for that is verbalize what happened to someone who will listen and be sympathetic. Such experiences, if left unresolved, can become an influence on future relationships. Being aware of such type guys is a positive but there are possible negatives if you do not get this out. That is most important.

Jerry The God Within You A Prayer For You





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