Anna,
It is not that you don't have love and great respect for your father. It would be the unconscious aspects of the constant changes that I am pointing to. His negatives also are a part of the unconscious view. These are natural aspects of growing up with the type life you have lived. Everyone, I repeat, everyone is a product of their early life environment. No two people are the same and could have similar early life experiences and turn out different. But those early experiences/influences do govern who they become. My concern is that you are aware of these energies that can unconsciously control your life because of your early life. We have covered a lot in our conversations and I believe you have discovered aspects you were previously unaware of. Now that you know these things it is important to apply what you have learned. Not to do will leave you beholden to unconscious drives brought about by early life experiences/influences. I may be expecting too much of you in understanding how important this is. This is one purpose, the therapeutic aspect, of your dreams. To provide insights to the unconscious drives of experiences in life {all through life but especially early life since it is that period of time emotional conflicts begin}. I use my own experiences plus my experiences from working with other people's dreams as evidence. In my mind it is a undeniable truth. But more than anything it is a common sense thing. If you grow up in Alabama you will be different than if you grow up in California. Two entirely different environments that are imprinted on the psyche. Beware and you will be more likely to correct the negatives. You can't change the past but you can prevent a recurrence of it. As the saying goes, 'Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat'. That includes personal history.
Jerry

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It's not that I don't understand the importance of having to learn from our pasts, it's that I am not quite sure as of yet how exactly my past has affected me. I am beginning to get hints of ideas but I'm still not sure of anything. I know I don't want to marry a man like my dad. I also know that I don't want to move around a lot once I have my own house and graduate from college and whatnot. I am not sure how the whole me having to play second mother will affect me as a mother myself. I know that this experience has exhausted me with small children and I do not want to have any for quite some time, not until I've done all I've wanted with my life and am ready to dedicate it completely to them. I want to enjoy being independent for once!

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Anna,
These things will play out as you get older. But being conscious of them now helps you understand the possibilities. When you enter into a relationship {romantic or otherwise} look deep into the other person to determine what possesses their soul. Often even conscious knowledge can not escape unconscious forces. The best defense is the intuitive mind, those instincts when developed will let you know immediately who a person is. First impressions are always correct as long as you do not let the thinking mind interfere. And of course paying attention to your dreams will help. Learning to interpret dreams at an early age will be of great benefit, not only for you but other people if you ever use this skill to analyze their dreams. You are reaching the soul when you interpret dreams. That is why we call it soul work.

Jerry

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