Last night I dreamt that I left my boyfriend of 5 years for a guy that I have known for are really long time and who used to go out with in the past (I still have very strong feelings for him).. There is a lot of history between us and we have a vey deep connection that I've tried to push aside for years.

In my dream, i met him in the living room of a house he used to live in and I think we were talking about whether or not was going to leave my boyfriend to be with him instead. He became very angry (not his usual nature) and started shouting at me that if I really wanted to be with him then to say it, "say it, if you really want to be with me say it. Say "I want to be with you!"." I felt scared, I think I was nervous that my boyfriend would hear me even though I couldn't see him anywhere. So I whispered, "I, I want to be with you.". He asked me to say it again, "LOUDER!" he kept saying, "Louder!". So I burst into tears and I eventually shouted as loud as I possibly could, "I WANT TO BE WITH YOU, ONLY YOU, I LOVE YOU, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!!!!!". The room went silent and my ears were ringing but I wasn't crying anymore. I think I was relieved. And happy maybe... Then I woke up. Now I feel strangely guilty and I can't stop thinking about him.

I don't know what this means. Please help.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28 Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

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Anonymous,
The key to the dream is probably in the first sentence of the dream. "i met him in the living room of a house he used to live in." I sense this not only about the deep connection you had with him romantically but about inner feelings of the 'connections' to a masculine person. There are probably aspects about him that provides inner fulfillment and that is what you truly long for. This is probably an aspect your current boyfriend does not provide, those inner connections of fulfillment beyond the relationship itself.

This 'living room he used to live in' may also point to your past {since your dreams are all about you and your emotions}. The anger part in one aspect would be your inner anger and the shouting is about being 'with yourself' accepting yourself as person. As for 'his' demand of saying I only want to be with you and I love you, these are likely directives toward yourself, a need for acceptance. This need probably goes back to childhood. Was your father a good father, did he make you feel wanted and loved? Did he often display anger? The connections to your ex-bf probably provided fulfillment toward those ends, supplemented what you did not receive as a child.

There are likely unresolved childhood issues involved as well as a desire to regain those connections to your ex-bf. Resolving the inner issues is the primary focus of the dream and your ex-bf did that in some way. The only question is what caused you to break up with him? Those reasons may have roots in your past also so it is important to examine the whole relationship.

If you will please provide a response to my analysis. I am always interested in knowing whether my interpretations fit with the dreamer's life. Especially when I point to childhood experiences as a focus of the dream.

Jerry

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Dear Jerry,

Thank you for your analysis.

I completely agree that there are "aspects about him that provide inner fulfilment". And that is what I am longing for. My ex made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. When I am ever in his company all of my insecurities (of which I have many), seem to disappear. My current boyfriend sadly does not make me feel the same. Although I love him dearly he is a very typical "mans man" who is more comfortable talking about work and sport that about us or our future. I often worry that we don't have much in common. My ex and I have very similar morals, interests and ethics. I some times think that my ex and I could both learn a great deal from each other and would grow and evolve together, I am afraid that I cannot be so sure of this with my current boyfriend.

I found your interpretation very interesting in so far as, I have major issues with self acceptance and confidence. I usually hide these issues by pretending to be the most confident girl in the room. My parents separated when I was 8 and my sister and I moved to a different city with my Mam when I was 12. My father was a good father and a good man, I never really saw him loose his temper while growing up and even now he is so laid back he is almost lying down. Although, he never visited us in our new city except when my sister bought a home with her boyfriend, he visited her there twice. I resented my mother for taking me away from my old home, my father and my friends.. I used to travel to see my dad every fortnight for the weekend for 4 years until I finally accepted the city we were in as my home and settled down with new friends etc. then I only saw him a handful of times a year. I only began questioning his behaviour at that time, recently, and I have been wondering why he didn't try harder to see us or me.

My ex and I broke up because a girl he had being seeing for a while before we got together claimed she was expecting his child and he couldn't leave her alone. He decided it would be best to make a go of things for the baby's sake. I was heartbroken and although I never fell out of speaking terms with him, I moved back to my original home town as I couldn't stand to see them together. I found out not long afterwards that the girl had lied about expecting his or any child and they had broken up. It was a tumultuous time and we lost contact for over a year. It's a very long story but either way we have been in contact again for about 7 or 8 years. We have both always been with someone else, real star-crossed lovers, but when I'm with him, just hanging out as friends, it's as though no one else exists. I recently found out that he and his girlfriend of 3 years have broken up. She hated me because she knew about our connection. I have no doubt this is part of the reason for all of these emotions to come to the fore again.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Kind regards,
Anonymous

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