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Re: My father

Jerry, Yes, yes, and yes. What you said makes so much sense! My relationship with my son has been and still is unsatisfactory for me. He possess many of the same aspects as my father. I recognized this long ago and never knew what to do about it. His drinking & drug use began as soon as he hit HS, maybe even the year before. It left me feeling soooo powerless. He is not affectionate and has been that way since age 4. He keeps everything inside and rules by not speaking. He's 27 now and only shared his feelings about me while slightly drunk just recently. I was always searching for ways TO connect with him in his childhood and I succeeded in someways that by being drunk he was able to share. I want to understand this repetition and I believe at this very minute I have a chance to move forward with how this animus is living me out, as my friend Carl Levinson used to put it.

So, it is in a sense of being watched, constantly, that I have dragged into my adult life. This stems from my father's behavior as watching us as kids and saying nothing. My son does this as well, though he never knew his Grandfather. I admit I am stymied by this behavior and by most of my son's behavior. I no longer wish nor believe I can have any affect on my son's life, but believe I can improve my life by confronting this animus in myself. I have had back "problems" for 35 years and again, for the 1st time in years, my back spasm has returned.

Do I just wait for this animus to show it's full face? I relaxed yesterday in response to my "back pain" and realized it was the most relaxed I've been in years. The economy & my recovery fears have fed this state of tension. So for an action to take I am going to relax physically as well in the afternoons. I began my SS this past month so I can "afford" to relax a bit.

I really like the video you linked-it showed me how tough this can be! Very for you grateful,Jerry.
Peggy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 62

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} female

Re: My father

Peggy,
I appreciate your response But I am so sad to know what I saw in the dream is true. But considering everything it is only predictable things would be this way. Without proper parenting, at least from one parent, what chance does one have to live a progressive life? I know some say such thinking is hogwash but the emotional life begins with the second breath. The first breath is to start the physical body to functioning, the second starts the psychological self to function. The primary expectation at birth is of proper nourishment and security. You had neither and the results are all too often predictable. Like parents like children.

As for the animus. I can give some advice to what to do to develop a proper animus but there are others more qualified to do so. I suggest looking to Marion Woodman for answers. She is a Jungian psychologist who works primarily with women's addictions and the results from them. Here is a link to Amazon.com that lists her many books {many are available on CD audio book}. Click on each listing and read the editorial and customer's reviews. They will provide a good description of what each book is about specifically. Get the one {or more} that fits best with your life. Once you get started with her books I believe you will read a great many more she has written.
I have learned so much from her about the feminine psyche and also dreams. She works with dreams in her therapy. A sage in our time. Her latest work 'The Crown of Age' is a wonderful book about the psychology of growing old. I have it on audio book.
Here is the link to the list, Marion Woodman Books at Amazon.

Addiction to Perfection is one that I read years ago I found to be most insightful, even for a man. Here is the review:

Through case studies, dreams, and myths, Woodman, a Jungian analyst explores the hidden causes of compulsion in the lives of men and women. At the root of eating disorders, substance abuse, and other addictive and compulsive behaviors, Woodman sees a hunger for spiritual fulfillment. The need to experience a sacred connection to an energy greater than their own drives people to search for an illusory ideal of perfection. Through discussions of parenthood, creativity, and body image, this presentation shows that freedom from addiction can be found by discovering the wisdom and power of the feminine principle.

The only advice beyond reading Woodman, and concerning the animus, is to learn to discipline yourself. Without discipline you will never get past the first steps in any endeavor in life. The hero/heroine journey in mythology is self discovery and then the discipline of staying the path. Most 'fall off the wagon' fairly early because they don't try hard enough. If know what the problem is, the next thing to do is to cease what is causing it. Physical addictions are hard but with great effort can be done {too many have succeeded}. Psychological addictions, which are often at the root of physical addictions, can be even harder but Woodman will lead you through that process. It will be the discipline to follow through that determines the end result.

I hope this provides what you need. There are many paths offered in therapy for addictions but like everything else in life it is all psychological first and foremost. If you have other dreams you need help with, well that is where I have some expertise.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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