Hmmm...
Read your response twice.
Don't have balance...check...all focus on children and work...even at the expense of the attentions to my wife...yes, we are both guilty and talk about it often... we address...get away weekend coming up.

yes the "baggage", not necessarily the "howling" baggage control a lot of what i do, how I act, etc.

No, I can't ever see resolving the Howling Baggage. I don't want to hurt my Mom by confronting her about what happened. I knew all along that it was a anger thing, a jealousy thing...I had no control.

Same with my father...his baggage has to be much heavier than mine. He is a genius, with a closed personality. Although we were very close, I didn't really know him...what made him tick...what makes him tick...6'5" physical specimen and controlled by my angry 4'10" mom...she's formidable.

My parents did and do sincerely love me. They are proud of me. No one faked anything. We were the Brady Bunch with a really big, destructive elephant in the room.

Not sure of the three or four analogy is correct, I could have just as easily switched the two, but I get your point. I like four way better than three...and I like blue way better than red.

These things will go unresolved, but accepted (many gates, but I won't get through all of them. Pretty sure.

The heart pounding follows suit and makes sense when you put it that way (in and out)

I have a knack for not letting the wasp nest grow. I am kind of pragmatic. What I meant by "just under the surface" was that I keep it there to keep an eye on it, not to suppress it, and to make sure that I do not repeat it.

Dig?

Again...thanks...this is sneaky fun (being about me), and I feel like i am learning a thing or two about my dreams.

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gottagrip,
If you do not wish to confront your parents then you will need another way to resolve those issues. Although you have been able to keep the baggage 'beneath the surface' unconsciously it is still an issue. You can go through life without confronting it but unconsciously it will play on you and it probably already has affected your person and personality. The good thing is you have analyzed your parents behavior and can see why they are who they are. More of that, in relationship to how they treated you, may be the answer. You can do this on your own {read my pages Individuation Process and Individuation and the Union of Opposites} or seek professional help. From what you have posted i believe you are fully capable of doing it yourself. The main thing is to go the full distance and resolve the issues. When it stops being a part of your dreams you know you have succeeded.

Jerry

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