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Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

I have had a couple of dreams that overemphasized the left side or turning left so I will post them here and hope for some insight as they seem to be telling me something extremely important which i am not able to understand.

1) Several months ago I dreamt that I was in a house where a killer had entered and chased my wife and kid (I don't have any kids and i am not married). It was night time, summer and the windows were open. I did not recognise the house I was in but was really worried about my dream wife and baby. Then a dentist appeared, he had really ugly teeth, he smiled at me with an evil smile and tried to pull my teeth out with a pincher but I never opened my mouth. The dream shifted to me being in a boat, i then found myself far above the boat, overlooking the lake that it was in. The lake was covering my entire hometown. I then found myself back in the boat, it took off and shortly after I found myself standing on a strange looking mast. The boat had become extremely thin, it was black, I felt it was a military vessel and 3 or 4 older guys where driving it, I could only see very far ahead but not chose the direction. Then we took a really sharp left turn, I felt that the boat would tip over one side but nothing happened, we turned into a large river, we missed 3 red canoes that were at the river side and set off for an unknown destination toward the river’s delta.

-At the time I had this dream I was not aware of the months that were to follow but I went through a situation that was an emotional rollercoaster regularly having suicidal thoughts. I am not sure if the dream was precognitive but I believe the river to be emotions or life path or flow and the boat to be an easy way to navigate the river without drowning. The presence of the older males I take as the presence of guidance (if one considers spiritual aspects) or as wise parts of myself that knew how to navigate. I believe that what looked like a dangerous turn left was warning me that this would be a period of turning to my emotional aspects and that I would fear it (as I was afraid in the dream) but all would be all right.
Now the thing is that just yesterday i had a very similar dream whicb I will describe below.

2) It felt like a summer day, I was with a group of people in two different boats in a river. The boat ahead of us was driven by a male around his early to mid twenties. He took two or three turn lefts which i thought were very dangerous but nothing happened to the boat or to him, if nothing else looking at it was fascinating. I do not remember if the second boat that i was in was taking similar turns but I do remember that i was shifting between the first and second boat. In fact there were two or three more people in the second boat.
Immediately after this the dream shifted to a road, again in a summer day, where a young male around his twenties was driving a motorbike ahead of me and i was a passenger on another motorbike. This time the first driver took what seemed to be a very dangerous turn left, I got very worried because the road was slightly wet. Nothing happened to him and we followed the same course also taking that left turn. Then i went to a park where I found my brother and we spoke a little bit, there were more people, families with young kids playing in the park and we were going to take their money (I guess we were going to rob them or something).
So given the fact that i have had a very similar dream in the past I was wondering if anyone could provide some insight, especially in regards with the left turns and the switch from older males to younger males being in the driver’s seat or leading the way.
I feel that the dreams may be telling me that the impulsive, enthusiastic side of myself is or should be taking the lead in this phase in my life, but given my previous experience of several months, i thought I should ask for some advice regarding this latest dream.

Kind regards

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
The added information was valuable in understanding the first dream. Let me provide my analysis on the first dream and then in another post an analysis of the second.

The first dream is a reflection of your irrational frame of mind about an irrational time in your life that may now again having an impact on your life. Your whole self is undergoing a traumatic series of irrational thought and the unconscious is attempting to rationalize the process of suicidal thoughts. Dreams are therapeutic in they attempt to help you work through emotional conflicts. i see the whole dream attempting to do this in a time of serious mental conflict. The one grace saving symbol is at the end of the dream where your turn toward the delta. The delta is entering into the deep unconscious and it also represents a place where there is 'rich' sediment for growth. The deep unconscious, unlike the personal unconscious where you are having these irrational thoughts. is a place where the natural strength of the human condition resides. There is always growth within these deeper waters.

Here is a breakdown of the symbols as I see them
The house is you

The killer are parts of yourself you dislike

the wife are your unresolved emotional issues

the kid is your vulnerabilities

nighttime is the unconscious

open windows are openings into the unconscious

there are unrecognized aspects about yourself {house}

worries about unresolved emotional issues

dentist {you} with ugly teeth is the aggressive nature of the emotional issues

trying to pull teeth is trying to extract the emotional issues

keeping mouth closed is not able to express yourself rationally

boats are symbolic is a need for a transition of unconscious mind

water covering your hometown is the emotional issues covering your entire self

being in the boat is being in transition of mind

the mast represents sudden or possible changes in thinking

the thin black boat is the lack of depth of thoughts {emotional thinking instead of objective}

military vessel re[resents a need for disciplined thinking

3 or 4 older guys is a wiser self {3/4 represents wholeness}

not seeing far is unable to see clearly in your future {irrational impulses}

not chose the direction is not under control of your future

the sharp left turn is a turning away from reason

fear boat would tip over is the inner fear of drowning in your emotions

nothing happening is realizing the irrational fears are not real

the turn to the large river is the flow of currents directing your emotional self

missed 3 red canoes is missing emotional balance

set off in unknown destination is heading into unknown emotional territory

toward the river delta is toward the deeper psyche {river enters into the mouth of ocean/a larger body of water}

The dream is a reflection of your past state of mind that may be once again vulnerable to the same emotions. The fact you survived is where the dream left off, headed toward the deeper unconscious which is the life saving experience that nature provides as a tool to help 'balance the boat' {you}. but you may be headed in that same direction {headed back to the 'deeper' emotional frame of mind you experienced earlier in life}.

Jerry

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
Here is my analysis of your second dream.

Summer is the stage of life you are at {early middle age}. The group of people are the grouping of aspects of yours psyche. There are two different distinct aspects under examination in the unconscious {and depicted in your dreams}. One aspect is being driven by earlier life experiences {your mid 20s}. Or it could be another person at that age that has something to do with your emotions. This is what is driving your emotional state of mind. That time in life may reflect experiences that were away from your normal reasonable self. But at the time it seemed harmless. It was a 'thrill' in your life. The second boat would be another part of yourself, a separate part. The shift is a shift or the normal position you would/should have been in {the other boat}. The first boat was probably not your normal self.

The road is a path in life. The young male would be a past part of your life. Your true self is a passenger to that past self, a different self from your true self. The first driver, your younger self, had taken a dangerous emotional turn in life {an emotional experience} because he {you} were drenched in your emotions {wet}. The experience turned out to be of no value {nothing} emotionally. You have now parked yourself in the position in life is one of more normalcy {or wish to}. You probably are wishing for more, more like your brother's life and would rob him for that chance.

What was the reason for your earlier experiences that put you in the suicidal frame of mind? Did it have to do with relationships, at least in part? If you are still capable of these emotions there may be something deeper that needs to be analyzed {early life experiences}. Or there may be a hormonal imbalance that can be corrected by medications. Was there an early life experience when you were in your mid 20s that is related to these emotions? Or another person of that age? If you will provide a follow up response with additional information {you feel comfortable in giving} that may help in understanding what these dreams are trying to communicate.

Jerry

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

Thanks for your response. Very detailed indeed.

To be honest I had been depressed for years, I don't actually remember many times in my earlier years that I was not depressed. The reason for this was constantly feeling as being less than others, less important, less heard, respected less and so on and so forth. This kind of attitude came from constant experiences around me from family and friends. I have resolved most of these issues considering the fact that everybody's attitude has changed and I also realise that I managed to change myself considerably and better understand myself.

I am still working through some of these issues, I do at times get annoyed if i bring one of these past situations in my mind, however, I fully understand that I bring these flashbacks to my head consciously because I choose to and they affect me as much as i want to be affected by them. By this i mean that I now understand specific patterns in my behaviour and the behaviour of others and a lot of stuff and negative interactions make sense, so i don't get upset over them, at least not a lot.

I had the first dream sometime in August 2012. At the time I had been offered a job in another country which i accepted, left my old room, went to that country to find a house, and then got invited for interviews for two other jobs (while still looking for a place to stay for the job i had already accepted). I had reasons to not particularly want that first job so I went for both interviews thinking that if I got offered any of these two positions i would reject the one I accepted. I had this dream just before I went for the second interview.

Noqw what happened since then. In short, i was led to believe that the position would open, I took a leap of faith and rejected the first job without getting any guarantees and then waited for a while to hear back regarding this second position. That never happened. I then moved to Barcelona and that's where I got the suicidal thoughts, mostly due to not having a job and not having enough people around me to be able to handle the situation, in fact due to not having enough distractions. So I played the whole story in my head again and again, blaming myself for bad choices, trusting people, showing faith and so on.

Anyways, the dream came a few days before I went for the second interview so at the time I felt I was just being bold, figuring out where i wanted to be but not depressed. The depression came in the following months.

In regards to my current situation. i am in no way or form the same guy I was several years back or even last year and I realise how my last tought experiences have helped me in achieving my current state of mind. i do occasionally let myself drop into being depressed but this is because I want to better understand my emotional reactions to certain thoughts which seem to still have an effect on me. This all happens consciously and i watch it, rather examine it when it happens rather than let emotions and thoughts take over me.

I do feel confused at times, since I am a bit uncertain to whether I have chosen the right career for myself and whether i want to continue along these lines. I was figuring that the dreams where showing me an adventurous path ahead but I could not pinpoint the constant turn lefts. But I can say with certainty that my current emotional state is not at all similar to the state i was in when i had the last dream of this kind.


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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
I can see where my analysis fits with much with what you had to offer in your response. But the issue with the male in his mid 20s is still unresolved. Usually a stated age in a dream is a reference to an actual time frame in the dreamer's life, or someone of that age that is associated to the dream scenario. Is there anything that happened in your mid 20s that could be associated with the dream? Or a person then or now of that age? This dream statement is something that has meaning and needs to be understood;

The boat ahead of us was driven by a male around his early to mid twenties. He took two or three turn lefts which i thought were very dangerous but nothing happened to the boat or to him, if nothing else looking at it was fascinating.

The male driving the other boat is either you {more likely} or someone you are emotionally attached to. The two or three turns could indicate a change of direction or thinking. See if you can think of anything that would explain this 20 something male in your dream.

Jerry

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

I could only say that I left to go study in the UK when I was 18 and spent around 8 years there. The guy driving was definitely not me. At least not looks wise, I am Mediterranean looking and he was more typically western European, with lighter hair and skin. I could only see the backside, not the face.

I did spend several years of solitude also in the UK and since my early twenties which could also be an indication of someone driving ahead of me, alone.

But i can't really think of anything else. I'm also gay but there was no sexual content at all in any of these dreams.

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
You are correct in there is no sexual content in the dreams. Very often a dream will provide insights to 'sexual' 'behaviorism' {whether it be heterosexual or homosexual}, especially if the person has 'Freudian' issues or similar complexes. It is not unusual for dreams to reveal sexual traits to the point I will take note and ask if the dreamer is gay.

Although there is no such language in your dream to a gay sexual orientation let's examine that aspect. Being a liberal country I doubt there is a lot of right wing activity toward gays in the Netherlands. But what about your personal life and family? In the dream I took images of the killer as an aspect about yourself you do not like {or did not like at one time}. Could that have anything to do with your sexual orientation? I can see where the images could be addressing such issues in the first dream. Looking over your hometown {your entire life}, the images of emotional conflicts I noted, even the turning left which would symbolize your true self. And boats can have a sexual reference representing the feminine psyche {heterosexual being the masculine typing}. Boats also can symbolize transition. Was there a 'transition' of attitude about your homosexuality later in life? Perhaps a significant time being during your mid 20s?

The second dream has two boats. Could that have to do with identification problems related to your sexual orientation? If there were conflicts about your sexuality in early life then the dangerous left turn' may be addressing coming to terms with your true self {left is the true self-right the 'programmed' self of society}. The part about your brother and his family and robbing someone could be about the 'normalcy' you see in being what you are not {heterosexual with a wife and kids}. I dare say even in a liberal society there are still moments when your sexuality is a difficult subject to maneuver in. Especially if there are family issues or early life issues that caused you to feel 'less than others', less respected, 'the kind of attitudes that came from constant experiences from family and friends'.

Looking at the dreams and now knowing you are gay I can see where your sexuality could be the reason for the dreams. The dream images certainly can fit within that equation. Unresolved emotional issues is what dreams are about, their intent is to help resolve those issues by providing the true self and circumstances in your life.

Jerry

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

Thanks for taking the time to do this.

It appears that my and your interpretation are starting to merge now. I was unclear about the meaning of turning left, I had read that it showed a turn toward the subconscious/true self/ inner self etc. I will elaborate later regarding where the dream (s) confused me.

During most of my earlier life I did hide my sexual orientation but I couldn’t say I had problems identifying with being gay, if nothing else I attributed my intellectual and financial successes mostly to my sexuality as it was the driving factor to go away from home for studies and as a result be free and not have to answer to anyone. In saying that, I had spent most of life being cautious/ afraid of taking risks, trying to analyse/control everything and have certain expectations from the future. The whole Barcelona story which started playing itself out a couple of months after the first dream was probably the third time ever I took a risk and a big one if I may say so. I did nothing of this magnitude ever before. I presume the dream was showing me that this decision might had been the way to open up blockages and release suppressed feelings (lake over hometown) allowing the inner/true self (left turn) to take hold of my life and provide guidance (three/four older men).

I will go with your interpetations in regards with the dentist, wife and kid as I am not certain about the meaning. I used to have a fear of dentists though. I should add that having read your interpretation I presume that the dream was showing I worry too much about what people may think of my sexuality, wife and kids being the norm, in my hometown and therefore express myself in a bad manner (ugly teeth). Is it at all possible that my earlier dental problems were caused by my attitude of not expressing myself or feeling frustrated?

Now I should share some details that became important once I read your analysis. In the first dream there was no other way to go apart from into the river, that was a left turn. Otherwise we'd be circling around in a lake (and I don't like circling around heavy emotions :-) ).

In the second dream, again there was no other way to go apart from left as we were following the river. The young man in the first boat actually drove a very large white speedboat that shouldn’t be able to navigate the river as it looked like a vessel made for the sea/ocean. White to me means anything physical e.g. waking life (I presume it is because I can see ‘stuff’and trust what I see, I have only recently started to work with intuition). Also there was water on the road in the second part of the same dream. I believe this shows that my conscious and subconscious are merging with each other to an extent, which again I consider great. The river appeared to be shallow and brownish.

The confusing parts are that the speedboat didn’t look like it belonged to the river (more of a sea vessel as i said earlier) yet the driver of the boat was very bold and confident, going really fast and appeared to be able to navigate the river perfectly. I am making an attempt here to interpret this by assuming that he could be indicating a bold part of myself, one which I do not associate/express much due to fear (I remind you that I have mostly avoided risk taking until recently). The same goes for the driver of the first motorcycle in the second part of this dream, the road. The fact that I did not feel I knew the driver in each case might be pointing out that these are parts of myself I am discovering now. And this is where I get confused, does the dream tell me to navigate without fear based on impulse or assertiveness? Does it show that even when things don’t seem favorable or right, they are exactly as they should be? Or, on the negative, does it tell me that I have started running away from reason and into irrational behaviour, which the older/wiser me is looking at from the back and does not condone? However, the older/wiser me was also fascinated by the attitude of the young guy in the front and was happily following, just with caution.

Considering that the only way to go was to the left, I feel the former explanation is more valid but for someone who generally doesn’t take risks, I feel if I followed such a road I would land right on my face.

In the road part of the dream, we went to a small part of a park towards the left side of the road. The park actually exists in my hometown but only reaches to the right side of that road. Therefore, the part on the left to which I went I presume represents new growth, and since it is a park/nature this appears as a good omen.

Now in regards with sexual orientation. I came out to my mother two months before the first dream and she didn’t take it well at the time. It did affect me at the time but it doesn’t have that much of an effect on me anymore. Overall, I am not very assertive for a gay guy. In saying this, I know what I have to offer, I understand I am no better or worse than anybody else and I don’t see sexual orientation as something that can define or limit one. I do have to say however that I do not anymore enjoy the parties, the gay bars and so on and so forth associated with gay life. I find them shallow (which coincidentally, I thought the waters of the river in the second dream were shallow, or so they appeared, and the water puddle/wet part on the street was also shallow) and feel worse if I choose to attend any gay events than I do when I choose to avoid them. I don’t really fit even though I can see the attraction, I don’t hold it against anybody to enjoy the possible advantages of being gay but I certainly don’t feel any of it is for me anymore as far as the parties and bars go.

Maybe there is double meaning in the water being shallow, one meaning is that the conscious and subconscious mind could be talking more to each other and one leaks into the other (white boat in river and water puddle on street) the other meaning could be that I find the gay lifestyle shallow. Yet I don’t find the sexual content in the dreams.

To sum all this up. At some point in the last year (late 2012) I decided to start trusting impulses and intuition a lot more than logic, this was because logic lead me to depression which accumulated over a long period of time (several years). In trusting my intuition, I ended up with suicidal thoughts in Barcelona YET I believe that was the “lake” being emptied and my experience suggests it was. I am at this moment being faced with matters of assertiveness and trust in the true self.

I feel the dreams are telling me to trust be assertive, bold and fearless, but the presence of the older/cautious me at the back (who is indeed enjoying the ride) is confusing. Granted, in the dream, the guy at the back would had loved to be in the leading boat and the leading motorbike, but that was after he saw that his fears were unsubstantiated.

I hope I haven’t made this too confusing but insights keep coming. I also hope you are getting something out of this. I've developed some proficiency in remembering how I feel in dreams.

Recently i have been able to also smell stuff, feel heat and taste food within some of my dreams.

That’s what I can come up with this far.

Again thanks for taking the time for this interaction.

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
You ask a lot of good questions. Let me try and derive from the dream images the answers you seek.

The hiding of your sexual orientations is what would be 'not being your true self'. An inability to express openingly and freely your true self is always a negative. Once you are able to express to the world, with confidence, who you are is when that image will disappear. Holding back from those qualities that would natural resources {taking risks} is holding back from being who you want to be. The first time you took a risk {does this answer my question about the mid 20 year old in your dream?} was a step in opening up those 'blockages' as you stated. Repressing your true self whether it be your sexual orientation or risk taking is never a good thing.

A military vessel could symbolize structure and the 3-4 men could be the wisdom self as you point to self. this part of the dream may be pointing to possible answers to your emotional conflicts {again see dream structure}. By turning left {your true self} there was unnecessary fear {boat tipping over but nothing happened}. This sequence of actions could also be addressing actual personal experiences {only you can connect} since all dreams and dream images have at least two meanings/applications. The dream ends with actions of 'missing 3 red canoes' which may represent 3 chances at emotional balance. These were at the riverside {connecting unconscious to conscious awareness} which, if realized would set you on the path to personal growth {river delta}.
These are things you will have to look at and see where they fit, both in your unconscious life and personal associations.

The wife and kid could have several applications. The wife could be addressing anima qualities. Are you a passive type? the killer {putting an end to something in your self} came into the house {you} chased the wife and child. The child could represent an undeveloped aspect of yourself. It could be not willing to take risk would be the 'wife' and you need to develop an attitude {child} so to take those risks. This part is in the beginning of the first dream and would set the tone for the primary message in the dream {see dream structure}. The killer would be parts of yourself you dislike {not able to be aggressive}, the kid a vulnerability {to being aggressive}. Not knowing you were gay and lack of an aggressive personality when I first analyzed the dream prevented me from stating exactly the application to these symbols {as is the case in most dreams posted-I know only the age and gender}. This all fits to your true self and condition does it not?

As for the circling aspect of going left. There could be associations to this direction, a fear of tipping over being symbolic of your dislike for circling around heavy emotions. But one concept Jung had about dreams is 'they mean what they say' {symbolically/metaphorically}. I would be more secure in that association if there were terminology of 'circling' in the dream language. Doesn't mean it would fit but would likely suggest it is not the primary focus of the image/actions. That would be to your true self, what looks to be the primary focus of the dream.

The second dream. We must remember to look at the images symbolically. You have added to the description of the one boat {white speedboat} which is always important since every image has meaning. The river would be apart of the unconscious and likely symbolic of a complex you possess {a pattern of emotional behavior}. The boat looked to be one better suited for the ocean/sea which would indicate being able to address those deeper issues/complexes. The color white can represent innocence, purity, or being unaware [of the power of the complex you possess}. Water usually always points to unconscious aspects and the road is the path your are traveling in life.

Again you introduce new information about the river, shallow and brownish. that could point to new realizations {the merging you spoke of}. Brown is the color for instinctive aspects. There could be unconscious awareness {instinctive} that are coming to consciousness. To determine if this is a true statement to the merging you need to look and see if it fits with your actions at the time you had the dream. Was there an 'emerging' awareness coming about at that time?

The driver of the modes of transportation in the dreams are you {although, again there can be actual waking experiences where that were related to your psychology}. Not knowing the drivers would be a statement about not knowing something about yourself or unknown qualities you possess {or should possess}. You will have to take the whole dream into context, and then compare it to your waking life to determine whether is a direction you should take. One concept I always go with is never do anything on impulse. That usually gets you into a lot of unneeded trouble that could have avoided if thought through first. Always use wisdom and experience {wisdom is experience} in your actions and don't go with the emotional self {love can be an exception}. And you should never run away from reason. You need to ask yourself which fits in who you are and what you are actually doing in life. Dreams seldom offer up direct solutions to a problem but they can leave clues. In any instance it is what the true self desires compared to what the ego self is actually doing that is the primary problem in life.

I do take note that in the dream there are a lot of left turns {the true self}. In mythology {which is where we find collaborating universal patterns of individual behavior} the hero is instructed not to take the left hand path because of the danger. A common myth is where a boy or boys are seeking their father {a motif that fits my life} and the instructions given are done so because there is the knowledge the boys will do the opposite of what is instructed. This is real life, where one must engage and overcome the dangers in life if there is to be a successful result. This is why I say left turns are always pointing toward the right direction, the true identity and true self. This is the wisdom self that boils up from the collective unconscious, the wisdom of the archetypes, the embedded set of instructions for life we are all born with.

The question seems to be from the dream, why do you need to be told over and over again to take this direction in life? The language in the second dream is "Nothing happened to him and we followed the same course also taking that left turn". Is this saying if you would only be your true self nothing will happen that you need to fear? Nothing happened when the driver took the very dangerous turn left {your letting go and be assertive} but there is a pattern where you are reminded for a need to take these left turns.

A note about impulses and intuition. Impulsive behavior is a negative and is different from intuitive awareness. The first is a semi-conscious or conscious act. The other is an unconscious trait. Intuitiveness is an asset that should be developed {my developed intuitive abilities is why I am good at analyzing dreams}. I don't believe trusting your intuition was the problem. It was being afraid of not trusting them again and again that may have cause you to go off path and not be your true self {be assertive continuously}. In such instances I always look to the underlying causes, beyond just being gay, but those childhood years where fear and distrust were imprinted into your brain. Those are what you have to overcome. No one knew you were gay when you were a child but it was those years of inadequate parenting, love and acceptance that formed you as much as your being gay. These are aspects of life everyone shares, whether they be straight, gay, black, white, Asian, American, European, or whatever. Early life experiences/ influences are at the root of who we become later in life. It is the foundation of the house that determines where it is weak or strong. Every house, every child, every person.

Sexual Orientation
Coming to your mother two months prior to the first dream could have been a stimulus for the dream {the after affects causing emotional strain}. I have known many gay men and women over the years {consider many as friends} and an awareness of the difficulties they have to endure compared to straight men and women {the same goes for African Americans in similar ways}. I look at a gay person's dream with a certain knowledge about them that is different from a straight person {just as I would at looking a child's dream compared to an older person's dream}. I look for causation in ever dream and the subtleties are important. Knowing you are gay provides insights to the dream I would not necessary look for if not knowing you were gay {as happened in my original analysis}. Not I can't and don't hit upon what the dream is trying to communicate but the more I can get from the dream knowing personal information about the dreamer.

As I stated previously, most all dreams posted at the Dream Forum, the only information I have is the age and gender. Your added info provided some insights to how to connect the dream to your personal experiences {which the dream can seldom do alone}. But it was only when I knew you were gay the pieces really began to fit together. It is still up to you to put the final pieces together that will provide a clear picture to what the puzzle looks like.

As for directions. There is one aspect about your dreams {and the way of dreams} that does fit with the philosophy of life that I find that works, one that both Jung and Campbell taught. You, and everyone, do need to turn left and be their true self if there is to be a harmonious life. Discovering who you really are is the first step. Being that person is next great task {the hero/heroine path in myth}. I think the primary message of your dreams is to 'go left young man, go left'.
My advice is to take that dangerous left turn, and don't look back.

Note: I didn't review all I said so there may be grammar errors or more I meant to comment on. With your response to what I did state I can clarify anything I may have left out and correct any mistakes in structure and/or meaning.

Jerry




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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

Hi Jerry,

Thanks for your response.

I think that overall the dream is describing the experience and the potential openings from what happened back then, and also gives advice. In very general terms I believe that the wife and kid might be representing repressed emotionality and creativity or repression of creativity due to repression of emotions. As an added note, I was anxious to find them in the dream and make sure they were safe, so while being the killer myself, the dream also pointed that the potential to unblock these portions of myself was/is there. The dentist trying to pull my teeth out was myself showing me that keeping my mouth shut (not expressing myself) must stop.
And having set the context in this part, I believe the dream might have been telling me that the blockage had been removed and the way to inner knowledge (left turn in the river) was open. I believe that I mentioned t before that the scene in the house took place during a summer night but didn’t mention that the following scene in the river was during the day. I think that this transition shows that subconscious matters are becoming accessible to the conscious mind.

The fear on my part was a fear of trusting intuition, again due to the decisions I made at that time, and the dream showed me there was nothing to be afraid of. I would say that the red canoes indicate passion (red) and as you correctly put it (balance). My decision at that time was to reject a job offer which I was not very keen on and instead choose another one, one I was passionate about, but for which I did not get any guarantees. Now, this decision came after the dream, since I had dreamt this on September 8 2012 but took the decision on September 13 2012. On the previous day (September 7 2012), I had been informed that there was a possibility that the position I wanted might become available and was uncertain at the time as to what I would do. Going back to the red canoes, it was a near miss, the military vessel missed them by a few centimetres . I believe the message there was that choosing the ‘left’ way, my passions would cause needed distress (missing balance) but get me to the river Delta.

Sometimes, my dreams have a precognitive character, so when I get a dream such as this that has an effect on me and if there is a decision to be made in the following days I make the choice that scares me and fascinates me at the same time. At least, I try to do this as much as possible. I should further mention that the night I came out to my mom and the night I rejected the the first job for the second one I got my first two lucid dreams. Lucidity lasted for a second or two, but I found this immensely symbolic of my actions for some reason. I assume you will agree with me on this.

Moving on, I think that the military vessel might had been describing aggressiveness or force, but not in a harmful manner, rather in an assertive way. In saying this I will bring the example of breath which is a form of aggression as air is forced out, but it is also necessary for life. Also, the 3 or 4 older men could indicate that wisdom can be aggressive or assertive of itself.

In regards with the second dream of this nature. There have been a few weeks now where I am exhibiting bipolar behaviour. One moment my mind is clear and I feel perfect, the other moment I start making stories in my head (all filled with negativity) and I lose all balance. Shifting between the leading boat and the one following must be indicating this attitude. A switch between fear and being courageous. The merging of conscious and subconscious or deeper issues emerging in the conscious mind is definitely there. I believe this is why I am shifting in the first dream but in the second scene, the one in the road, it becomes apparent that this is the way as I seem to be afraid and not shifting, but still following. I get the feeling that the brown water indicates more the unknown (as I can’t tell whether the water is shallow or deep on both occasions) and in combination with the previous sentence, the dream symbolises insecurity in this way. I am realising this as I write this reply because last night I had another dream of similar nature which I will include here. It seems as a follow up in a way but I will explain later.

Now then, it appears that while fear creeps up there is a decision to continue going left even if this is by following and not by leading. I presume that the young man symbolises assertiveness or a willingness to jump into the unknown without fear. I am saying this because it appears that fear of failure becomes greater as we get older because we feel we have more to lose. So the young man probably represents that portion of myself which jumps into life, a part which I care about and trust or a part which I should trust. That part is leading towards the left, knowing the way, hence to inner knowledge or reality or realisation. There are dangerous but elegant manoeuvres in the river, fascinating, and there does not seem to be insecurity. I presume this is what I earlier took as ‘impulse’ but thinking about it now it appears that there is no insecurity. These are not equal. I would not say that following the river was circling, it appears it symbolises going with the flow. The fact that there were only left turns and no other way to go if one was to follow the flow of the river, indicates that when one is faced with a decision of left or right, the right path is to go left. In saying this i should point out a detail which I remembered about this dream, at some point during the boat ride, while I was in the back boat, I looked right and at the river side there seemed to be an opening where boat passengers could get out and step on ‘ground’.

Now, my related dream of last night, in fact two dreams which I find heavily related to our discussion. To put this into context, I am a researcher and have recently been facing a major challenge in my work which I haven’t been able to resolve this far. This has been causing me some stress and the bipolar behaviour earlier mentioned.

1) I was in the dream, working as a scientist and had an assistant. It appeared that was very open minded and had a passion for science without limitations (emotional self) and I was working in a laboratory. There was also another me, similar in every aspect, a researcher too in the same field as myself with the only difference that he had removed his heart, that is he had physically taken his heart out of his body (logical aspect). I found out that he wanted to find me and kill me and we ended up facing each other in an old factory. All this was taking place during the day. At that point I started processing the situation in the dream, became lucid for a fraction of a second and then woke up.

2) I found myself happily diving from a pier into the sea. I knew i was on holidays and asked where, an older man told me i was in Italy and to confirm that I checked the map. In fact i seemed to be moving higher and higher above the ground and zooming out, to confirm my location, the ground looked like google maps/earth but I was above it in real time, zooming out, I was not aware of my body. I could not make out the town names or figure out if I was actually in Italy but I did notice that the sea was very clean and had a beautiful blue/green colour. I then found myself at another spot, swimming, I decided to dive again and someone grabbed my feet and pushed me so i started gliding on the surface of the water at a relatively high speed. As I was moving I almost hit a guy around my age who was swimming on my left. It was a very happy dream, considering I love the sea and I was really enjoying it.

So my interpretation for dream 1 above seems to be confirming that there is an inner struggle between my emotional and logical self. It appears that the emotional self is attempting to use its creativity to do science as science should be done while the logical self is removing all emotion (take out heart) and attempts to eradicate the emotional self. It appears that this conflict emerges due to old structures which have been productive for a time but do not serve a purpose anymore (old factory). They are however rigid (loads of metal structures in the dream) and it is a meeting of the two portions (emotional self faces logical self in the factory) that can resolve the conflict. I have not analysed this much further. The fact that this was happening during the day indicates that this situation has now become conscious or maybe that it is a situation that is only conscious and is starting to infect the subconscious too.

In the second dream, I was happily diving in the sea. I should say that it is a rare occurrence of finding myself swimming and certainly do not remember me swimming in blue/green perfectly clear waters since i started recording my dreams. This far this appears to be a breakthrough where the conscious self is happily exploring the subconscious without the need for boats, suits or any kind of protection. The fact that I asked where I was, the older man replied and I had to check for myself indicates some control or trust issues. But it doesn’t appear to be major. In fact, I believe it shows that i am starting to find my own answers and using my abilities (flying above the map) to do that. The second dive was assisted by someone holding my legs, this appears to be a push forward from someone who was already immersed in the sea before I found myself back in the water. I presume this could indicate the inner help available to assist push forward in the explorations. The fact that i got relatively anxious about hitting the person of myself indicates that i still have worries about what I might find of myself in the subconscious which could be coming the opposite direction. This could be ideas or portions of myself I may not be comfortable with or with which there is conflict (going opposite directions). Instead, I did not crash into the person and that shows that ideas and portions of myself only need examination, and that there is no need for conflict. It could also indicate that it is the logical mind that is starting to examine this ideas/portions without the need to crash them but rather with a willingness to examine them. Also the clear seawater probably indicates lucidity, clear view, the blue colour possibly indicates knowledge and the green is either the colour of emotions associated with the heart or might indicate 'freshness'.

I should point out here that the job I initially rejected was in Italy and i have been having second thoughts about but i was not aware that there was so much inner conflict regarding that decision back in September 2012.

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

William,
I apologize for not responding sooner. I have another project to do with the local animal shelter I have involved myself and that is requiring much of my time lately. But the cause is worthy, trying to help save as many animals as possible in my county.

Your dreams are quite involved and you seem to have a take on what most have to offer. I will take a look at your latest dream and see what is there. And I will comment more on your latest response.

About dreams and dreaming. I don't try to analyze many of my dreams, only those that I feel out of the ordinary or important. Having found a balance in my life through many, many years of self therapy {Jung's Individuation Process} I understand that my dreams are merely a reflection my conscious attitudes and waking emotions. And because I have been able to 'slay' most all the dragons in my life I know where I am, have found a balance and don't have those past issues to deal with any longer {as most people do, and which takes up much of their dream time}. Because I have reconciled my past I can concentrate on the present when looking at my dreams.

Just last night I had a dream of driving a new type tractor trailer truck {a lingering reference to my father's profession}, learning how to maneuver it properly. But also within the dream I was going over the website I am designing to do with the animal involvement, trying to put paragraphs together properly, using proper grammar in the paragraphs, etc. This dream was a reflection of my current preoccupation {although there will always be references to the past} and knowing the two are associated makes it much easier to interpret the dreams. It also demonstrates how dreams help resolve issues, even those that may seem minor to someone else. But in reality the dream was addressing crucial elements of my intent because I want to articulate in the best possible way the importance of the animal issue I am involved. Anything less will not help resolve the issues, doing it right can.

I mention the seemingly unimportant aspects of my dream to illustrate that little in a dream is unimportant. One word misinterpreted can mean the difference in whether a person proceeds correctly in their waking life. The only way to verify an interpretation is to look to the waking life and see if it fits. If you try to make it fit when it does not, then the interpretation of dreams falls back to an ego controlled event and instead of a metaphysical assisted experience. To make an interpretation fit when it really does not is a dishonest act and the one sure thing about dreams is they are about truth and honesty. I think this is important to realize when interpreting dreams, especially your own dreams. If the inner self has become the ruler of the psyche it will not be such a difficult task to understand dreams and find correct associations in the waking life. But if the ego is still top dog {as is with most people}, dreams can become another tool of the ego's deceitful ways. This is why it is important to undergo the death and rebirth of the self. But as Campbell put it, not only a death and resurrection but a complete annihilation of the ego so it will not raise its ugly 'head' later on {the death and resurrection motif of Jesus on the cross}.

Jerry

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Re: Dreaming of turning constantly left in a river and a road

Hi Jerry,

I'm not in a hurry :-).

My main rule regarding dreams is to follow the emotional responses during the dream. For example in the boat/road dreams I was anxious/afraid but the dream in a way forced me to follow a direction, in those cases left. I take that as a 'face your fears and trust the outcome' nudge.

On other occasions I found myself being afraid of a situation, then a scene in the dream had me getting involved in said situation and after that I felt a feeling of bliss in the dream. Again, I take these as small pushes. A lot of the time these situations actually play out in my waking life and then I always find myself 'choosing' (sometimes not using my logic) to act in the same manner I acted in the dream. very often I get synchronicities after such dreams.

For example I had a dream concerning an attitude I held towards a friend. In the dream I was holding the same attitude, keeping a distance. During the entire dream I was unable to roll a cigarette to smoke, sometimes I had no lighter, other times I had rolling papers which were not mine and in the end of the dream, because my rolling papers were wet and would stick one on another. Towards the end of the dream I saw that my attitude had changed towards my friend and I felt really good about, that was the point that my rolling papers also got stuck together. Two weeks later, several scenes presented in the dream started occurring in my waking life over a number of days. My friend was involved and my attitude was one of distance. At some point, I found myself spontaneously cutting that distance between us and really approaching my friend from a much different perspective. As soon as I did that, I tried to light a cigarette, it turned out that my rolling papers which i had left on the table where wet and I could not roll.

This of course would be meaningless to someone who did not have a similar experience or in fact to someone who did not have such a dream, but to me it really says a lot.

In any case, I normally know when I'm on the right track when I get synchronicities like these. Seemingly small things that happen in the dream, appear in one way or another in my waking life and I get a flas of intuition about the moment.

So it is mostly the dreams that i have strong emotions within (love, fear, anxiety, bliss) that make me reconsider my attitudes towards anyone and anything especially when those attitudes are based on fear of something, guilt, anxiety, jealousy and so on and so forth.

Regards

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