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A dream about an idol? Or more?

Hi! I'm Beba, and i'm 13.
I have looked up to the guitarist of my favorite band, Frank Iero, for a long time. Ever since my dad left when I was around 11, I was indulging myself in music. Being completely honest, I was never close to my father, so being young and not thinking much of my father not being there was not a big deal to me. As I got a bit older I took it a bit more harsh, but again filled the empty holes in my heart with music I found fascinating, but I did in fact find more behind the music. Frank was a spectacular father of 3, and it made me look at myself and go "Wow. What if I had a dad like that?". Someone so willing to be the shoulder to cry on, someone to be there when I need it most. I've had a dream or two of Frank, but this one was different.

We were in my livingroom, and I remember he was standing near the door. My house has really dim lighting. The room was rather yellow, because that's just how the lights in my livingroom are. He signaled for me to get up and hug him, and that's what I did. It did not seem abnormal, and I didn't find myself giggling and hesitating to hug someone like that as I usually would. His embrace was so warm and tender, and it was a long hug. Now, I always thought someone being so happy that they'd start crying was stupid and I never found the sense in it, but within a moment or two I felt the hot teardrops stream down my cheeks. There was nothing particularly sad about this scene that made it sad, but I found myself in tears. Frank let me go, but held my hand. The door was now open, and he was walking away while facing me, but didn't let go of my hand, until our hands couldn't touch anymore because we were so far apart, and at that point he'd turn around and finally leave. I didn't feel a sense of loss; rather, comfort.

That was the end of my dream, though I once had a *very* similar dream.
I was walking down the hall of my school and Frank was walking in the opposite direction. He reached out his hand and grabbed mine, looking me in the eyes and smiling while he kept his steady pace of walking. He both kept walking and held hands until our distance forced us apart.


if this helps for dream interpretations, I've been through a bit lately.
My parents recently got divorced. It took them around two whole years to finish the divorce because my dad was trying his best to screw my mom over with paying for a lawyer. My mom often cried to us, her three older children and it was a painful thing to go through day by day because she had terrible mood swings and often took it out on us, especially me since, I'm the youngest and probably the easiest to pick on.

My father has not seen me or had any contact with me for several months. Around 2 months ago, he apparently accidentally called my mom. She hung up on him in a mater of seconds because she was n the verge of tears. He called back again, and because my mom was crying, I had to pick up. He didn't talk to me in months before hand and the conversation was just him asking "how's school, how's home, how are you siblings" etc, and I responded every time with "they're okay. It's okay. I'm okay.", nothing more, nothing less. The conversation quickly ended and he left the conversation without telling me he loved me, which is something that is said so frequently between my family, It's odd not to say it. It left me with a feeling of being unwanted, and I also have not been getting along with the rest of my family, which hasn't helped cope with this feeling

This isn't very much important, but there was a boy in my class whom I had a small crush on. There was nothing particularly likable of this boy, but I found myself chasing him listlessly every day. I believe this was because one of my friends whom I was close with had a crush on him and I felt a need to be in competition with her so I could prove myself better. The boy found out I liked him and he didn't respond, which left me trying my hardest to be accepted by him, and I'm now realizing I probably do whatever I can to be accepted by those who don't even mean much to me.

I've also been pressured to do a lot more than I am capable of school wise and have had my extremely low self esteem rubbed into the dirt


Please interpret what this may mean. Thank you.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 21

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

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Re: A dream about an idol? Or more?

Beba,
The house in the dream is you and the room is one particular aspect of your life which is dim {likely has to do with father issues}. Unconsciously those issues probably weight more on you than you realize {the 'living' room and how the lights are}. The door is an opening to understanding these 'emotional issues' related to 'dads' {real dad and your hero dad}. The embrace is what you seek and need to feel secure {something you lack from your real dad and unconsciously if not consciously wish for in life}. Tears are symbols for emotional healing {letting the emotions out so to help heal}. Frank letting would be an ability to not let the father issues bother you consciously. But there are unconscious aspects that still need healing, you and your real father being so far apart. Overall I sense the dream is addressing the unconscious issues but the important statement it seems to be making is you are consciously handling it well. Later in life there may be issues from the relationship but now you are handling it well {the dreams you have today reflect your true emotional self at the time you have the dream}.

There is likely another aspect to the dream {all dreams have more than one meaning}. The reason I say this is two fold. One is because you mentioned the crush on a guy at school and the second is there may be tendencies to give in to experiences where crushes make you feel important when in fact it would be a mistake to give in to them. In other words, your low self esteem [due to family life and the environment you grew up with} and a need for a masculine entity in your life may unconsciously persuade you to give into guys you have a crush on without giving real thought to the consequences. Your hero Frank Iero is actually a crush even though you look at him as a role model because he is a 'good dad'. I dare say you would 'give in' to him in a heartbeat if you were ever to meet him.

That being said, any child who grows up without a close relationship with either parent is 'injured' psychologically. Although you are handling the situation with your dad well now {and consciously may do so in the future}, unconsciously there will likely be consequences from it {low self esteem suggests it already has had an effect}. You will need to be aware of these unconscious drives because they can and will make you do things that you later will regret {if not soon after then later in life}. I say this from personal experience, both working with people who have been in that position as well as my own experience of being there. My father left when I was 5 and we never had a relationship. In my early adulthood {looking back and now being able to see it} it made me do things I likely would not have done if I had had a good relationship with my father. Early life experiences/influences leave unconscious imprints on the psyche/brain that in late life resurface as actions related to those early life events.

One last comment about why you are not having a lot of problems with the father issue. You have found a replacement, your indulging yourself into music. Creativity is therapy and when you give free reign to the 'muse' you enter into a different world within yourself. Frank Iero has done that and is an inspiration. Perhaps you have a real talent for music and should follow it. If it helps you get through the day then it must have some great power. Creativity is the source that gives meaning to life. Believe in it, live it and it could become your life and inspiration for living.

But don't forget my warning about the father issues and 'giving in'. Those unconscious drives could ruin everything for you, even your inspiration for music.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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