Hello,

My mother does not worry about me being a tomboy but more about my behaviour, i'm usually in a very bad mood, so i show anger towards my three younger siblings, she then yells at me alot calling me a "little devil" and then throws in my face that my younger brother is "the nicest child she ever had." It makes me feel very low in self-confidence, and it seems that even if I try to make her smile and laugh all the time, she seems to like me least because of my bad behaviors. I try hard in school, have the best grades, and like to explain that one day I want to be a writer, but she acts that i would never be an author, instead a newspaper writer, and when i won an contest in writing she said it was "luck" She seems to not support any of my dreams, when i was little she said an artist was a stupid job, which still hurts me because I really like drawing and many tell me i have a talent. She believes my brothers dream more, giving him surprise presents like expensive microscopes. And when i'm depressed because of school, she just thinks i'm overreacting, and that theres nothing to worry about. I try to tell her i have a social anxiety, but she just laughs and say "no you dont." I feel my behaviors could be making that wrong move that drives me into emotional damage, and that the dream interpertation is very acurate. I would also like to add that since i'm the oldest child, she gives me the most responsiblity, and when something bad happens she blames me saying "your the oldest you should know better" i feel like its rushing me to know the way to fix all situations, and to be the best role model, which is hard for me because i have social problems and i have bad temper, making me feel rushed to do things that i feel i cant do. The only one who has stuck up to me is my dad, making me feel more protective around him instead of her. She isn't sensible to me at all and doesn't understand, which makes me feel that she doesn't care. These things happen often making it a long-term effect on me because its hard to get off my mind, i feel i could be a better person but i feel not right when i have nothing to get angry at and embrassed to randomally act nice, when i have done opposite all my life. I feel like my anxiety is making me worry to much about what people think about my actions. It doesn't help that when i'm nice, she says jokingly " Well aren't you being nice, lil miss naughty." It makes it seem obvious and unnatural, and not the beginning of a new start.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 13 North Carolina

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Gracie,
If you have severe problems with depression then talk to your dad and get help. If he doesn't help then talk to a counselor at school. Depression can be controlled even in dire circumstances but you must seek help from a trained professional. I wish there were some way to make your mother realize there is danger in avoiding your mood swings. But it sounds as she has her own psyche problems.

As for being an artist/writer, go for it. If you follow that thing in life you love doing most {follow your bliss} you will find happiness and harmony in life. Most people ever realize what their bliss is and those that do usually abandon it to make money. Follow your bliss and doors will open where you thought there was no hope. I did and I went from a couch potato, football freak to interpreting dreams and designing websites. And I love what I do.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Host Dream Forum

Thanks for the support, i know I have what it takes to succeed in art and writing, I just have to pull the negative energy away. I would love to talk to somebody who could help, but I'm not sure if I have a really bad depression, and I fear that the people counseling will tell my mom how I feel and I'm not to open myself in telling her how bad she emotionally makes me feel. She always makes my worrying seem less than anything, as if my stress is over spilt milk and it humiliates me. Maybe I will remember a dream that might tell me more about me and my mom.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 13

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes