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Dream of murder and insanity

About a month ago I woke up in the middle of the night after having a bizarre and terrifyingly vivid dream. I wrote it down as soon as I could and woke up the next morning with this crazy story before me. It's so random that I'm having trouble interpreting what it means, can anyone make sense of this?:

I'm on the bottom level of a two level parking lot. No ones there. it seems early in the morning, but light outside. It's dark in the lot, raining outside, there's old snow melting on the ground. I go to the back of the car to open the trunk. For some reason there's a dingy old Ronald McDonald towel wrapped around the handle. I start struggling with it, feeling anxious as if someone is coming up behind me. I got the trunk open and got whatever it was I was trying to get. My headphones are suddenly in and I'm listening to audio that sounds like someone being killed. I have déjà vu about this audio, knowing I'd found it before in another dream. I also know somehow that the person being muurdered is being killed with a sawed of shot gun. Which doesn't make sense because a sawed off shotgun seems like a quick death? I guess the victim's mouth was covered, and all I was hearing was him panicking. I didn't like the audio so I changed the song. The next one was a song I've never heard called 'sawed off shot gun'. The next was a remix of sawed of shotgun. Each song after having something to do with a sawed of shotgun. So I'm getting pretty scared here and I finally get to this house I'm trying to get to when I realize it's a big classy looking private school, and I think I'm student.

Scene changes and I'm in the girls dressing room for PE. A nasty girl I know named Hailey for whatever reason is giving me the stink eye so I make a snooty face at her making her lose her shit and return to her friends saying something like 'IM SO DONE. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS RIGHTNOW'. She eventually returns to my part of the Room.And says 'truce' to which I respond 'yeah truce, sorry'.

Next part is hazy. I remember being in the room I was in when I first entered the school. I'm doing something on the handle, idk what. I take something off, run to my room, throw it on my bed and scream at it 'you are malevolent!' I think it was telling me to do something. I remember feeling as if I'm losing my mind and am aware of it.

Next part is just silly. All of my schools teachers are together in this new school, but apparently it's their gym, and they're practicing for some show they're gonna put on or whatever. For some reason the 'show' reminds me of a roller rink, so i do what any levelheaded teenager would do and I get on this bike that's just kind of there, grab a Pepsi, and ride along the outskirts of the show. The coloured lights that are hitting the floor arent touching me because I'm in the shadow right beside them. I felt really lame and unwelcome.The practice is over and the teachers are leaving. One woman teacher with an ugly blonde pixie haircut whom i sort of recognize from school looks at me and starts scolding me for having a Pepsi in the gym, she has the Pepsi logo on her shirt though.. A teacher i recognize as Mr Fast, a gym teacher walks by with an open Pepsi. He says something I don't remember but I know it was sarcastic and included the word 'bitching', so I said something back with the word 'bitching' in it and he didn't understand anything other than the word bitching and was kind of like 'excuse me? Watch your mouth young lady' I start trying to tell him what I was to say but he was already talking about something else. Someone's ugly ass forty year old looking kids are running around. They say something nice to me. Mr fast says some thing fond about my 'relationship' with them. Leave gym

I'm in what looks like the parking lot of my old elementary school. It's also raining. I'm in the back seat of a dingy trash littered car. My friend Feven is driving. She's doing a crappy job of finding a spot. I point to one. We park. I think some chavs start approaching us but that's as much as I can remember.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17 Canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Re: Dream of murder and insanity

Abby,
The dream opens with you being at the bottom level of an emotional conflict, an issue that has made you feel isolated/depressed for a long period of time. Dealing with these issues is a real struggle at times your life may seem like a comedy of errors {Ronald McDonald}. These issues are very painful and make it seem as if you are dying a slow death. The shotgun probably represents being wounded many times in your life. No matter how much you try to tune these issues out or make changes in your life so you can move forward, the emotional energies they possess continue on.

The change of scenes is dealing with a need for a truce with yourself concerning these emotional issues. Hailey would possess characteristics you identify with in your life and present issues you view as threatening {stink eye}. There are times these issues make you lose control, times when you may do or say things you later feel sorry for.

The hazy part may be just that. Or it could be there are past experiences stored within your unconscious you do not want to remember/think about. The experiences involve going back to a time {first entered school} when the emotional issues that are in conflict either began or where were you had a painful experience{s}. There may have been violent issues involving a male. If not that then it could be the experiences can cause you to become violent at times {maleviolent}. To consciously remember and deal with these issues would cause great stress for you.

The silly part is not really silly when you consider all that you have experienced in your short life {school teachers in gym}. You are trying to be a normal teenager but the emotional forces within your unconscious influence your behavior and motivate you to be otherwise. You have a shadow aspect that prevents you from being normal {at least at times}. You have to practice being 'normal'. There is an ugly aspect to your personality that you unconsciously scold but have no control over {due to your accumulated painful experiences in life}. These experiences have poisoned your personality and do not let you be the normal teen you wish to be.

Have there been experiences involving an actual gym that are related to your emotions? Painful issues that when you think about them you change the subject?

The last part of the dream is about you, the issues you have experienced {elementary school} that make you feel dead inside {cemetery} and may cause depression {raining}. The car is you and it is 'littered with trash' {emotionally}. You are driven by unconscious forces which cause you to be 'abnormal' as a teen. These emotional energies are unconsciously 'parked' in your psyche and control a lot of your waking actions. You are not in control of your life.

Let me know your thoughts to my analysis. On the surface it looks as if you have some real emotional issues in your life. It could be less traumatic as it seems and involve issues you are having trouble with at school. But my sense is it is deeper than that.

Jerry



Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Host Dream Forum

Re: Dream of murder and insanity

Jerry,
Thank you for taking the time to respond to my rather lengthly submission. I also apologize for some of the foul language used (I wrote it in the middle of the night feeling quite scared) I found your analysis very true and helpful. I agree that I do have quite a few emotional issues that impede me from interacting affectively with people, especially those my own age, and feel that I struggle to be the teenager I want to be. This past week I, along with my mum, have been making arrangements to get a mental health assessment for an issue that has haunted me since I was young which we believe to be OCD. This analysis has really helped me come to terms with the prevalence of a problem which i downplay way too much to myself. You mention a 'shadow' which I am curious about, I am still not entirely sure what it means. As for the gym, I don't have any direct traumatic memories linked to a gym, but growing up I was always much thinner than anyone else my age, causing me to do all I could to cover my body. I suppose Gym class was a place where I was forced to expose myself, giving me horrible nerves. Maybe that's what that means? If you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it if you looked at this more recent dream: (thankfully it's much shorter)

I didn't take the time to write this one down, so I forget a lot of it. But the ending disturbed me greatly and caused me to wake up terrified. I remember my neighbour lying on the floor, me on top of him, and me clawing his face away with a metal dog brush. There was no blood but his face had about the consistancy of clay as I mutilated his features away. His face was a messy, featureless mess when I was done with it. I was breathing heavily, mortified with myself. Suddenly an eye emerge beneath the goop that was his face and he yelled something along the lines of 'YOU THINK YOU CAN GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY?'

I mean I don't like this guy but I don't have such hate for him as this dream portrays. He is a loud, obnoxious man and I am very quiet, maybe that has something to do with it.

Thank you for your insight!
-Abby

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 17 canada

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

Re: Dream of murder and insanity

Abby,
It is wise to get a professional assessment of your condition. The sooner you learn to understand what energies there are that prevent you from being the normal teenager you wish to be the sooner you can become normal. Left untreated you will take that baggage into the rest of your life which could be catastrophic.

As for the last part of your response. The neighbor could have been a real person. But 'he' could {instead} represent some aspect of your true self, another part of your whole self, a neighbor to your true self. He is masculine which would suggest a masculine association {aggression?}. You are on top which may suggest a thinking attitude you possess {again masculine}. You are clawing at the face which may represent your ego self {and possibly a real person's face if applicable to a true experience}. The 'aggression' in the dream would be directed at yourself. You are trying to aggressively alter your ego self {wanting to be the normal teenage}. But it is not that easy to do which may suggest something out of balance more than just psychological. It may be genetics or a 'chemical imbalance' {you mentioned OCD}. What your doctor/psychologist recognizes from an examination is already known by your unconscious psyche. That knowledge, as is all knowledge involving psychological as well as physical handicaps, is available in your dreams, long before the doctor examines you.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Host Dream Forum

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