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Friend takes the fall for me

I recently ended an FWB relationship and have chosen to distance myself from this friend. But last night I had two dreams about him. I dreamt that I got into a fight at a mall in a foreign country and he was there with me, cheering me on. I won the fight and we had to run because the police had been called. He got caught running out of the mall and I was smart enough to walk out calmly without being noticed. The police decided to make an example out of him, some other suspects, including the guy I just beat up by stripping them and beating them right outside the mall in front of everyone (for some reason that was not illegal in that country). I waited until the ordeal was over and the police were gone, then I ran up to him to apologize because I felt so bad that he took the fall for my actions . He was putting on his jacket, wincing in pain as he did it, and told me that it was alright and he didn't mind taking the fall for me. We left the mall together and I woke up. I went back to sleep and dreamt that I was waking up in the backseat of a car on a very sunny morning and he was in the front seat (not sure if he was driving or not), but it looked like we were on a roadtrip. He looked back at me and said "Morning. Are you alright back there?" with a smile and I just smiled back at him(I was content). I normally don't dream about people unless they still have a role to play in my life. I thought his role in my life was over when I distanced myself from him, now I am confused. What could this mean?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25, Aberdeen,Scotland

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Re: Friend takes the fall for me

Anon7,
Appears from the first dream you wanted to really 'get' the guy but then felt guilt over the 'emotional' beating. There is little doubt the dream is about your FWB relationship {at least on level}.

I sense there was inner turmoil on your part {fight} over the breakup perhaps partially due to how you may have handled it. Were you hard on him for some reason? Was your attitude at first to make an example of him but later on you felt guilty? The 'illegal' fighting would be your conscience knowing it wasn't right to act as you did. The police {your inner higher authority} would be those controlling mechanisms within you that at times can used to punish {police abusing their authority} but other times enforce the need to be civil. Was the breakup due your desire to end the relationship, blaming him for it {he took the fall}? All in all the dream is addressing your emotions over the breakup and the guilt you had over how you may have acted.

The second dreams seems to be pointing to a possible reason for ending the relationship. Being in the back seat of a car would suggest you were in the back seat in the relationship while he was in control. His 'good morning' may be your sense of his wanting to be in that position, his asking you if it is comfortable for you to be under his control. Apparently it wasn't. For a while you were content but something must have happened to change that attitude. You are not wanting him in that role in your life. The confusion may be from the attractiveness of the relationship and/or your actions in ending it.

FWB. In this day and age it is not uncommon. But with all relationships there are strong emotions {although they may not be recognized}. Confusion reigns in such experiences because it is something your generation is doing it still isn't a norm that fits with society. Take it as a learning experience. That is the best benefit you will get from the relationship.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Host Dream Forum

Re: Friend takes the fall for me

Thank you for that. I will certainly take it as a learning experience.

I had different intentions when I met him. I felt no attraction and thought we would just be friends but as I spent more time with him I wanted more. I just got out of a long term relationship and didn't want to get involved with anyone and he was in the same boat, but things did not happen the way we expected.

I was honest with him throughout and we laid our ground rules early on. When I ended the relationship, it was because I started to feel more than just a physical attraction to him and I know that that was not something I was ready for. I was polite and I made sure that I told him my decision in person. Also, one of our ground rules was that if one of us began to feel more for the other than a physical attraction then we would be honest about it and end the relationship. I did exactly that. I was honest about it but I got the sense that he wasn't at ease with the decision. He mentioned that he would have preferred if we remained friends, but I felt that right now a friendship would be complicated. He also mentioned that he felt used, which doesn't make sense to me because I thought we both got what we wanted out of this experience. If he had any other intentions either he did not mention them outright or I did not take them seriously. Looking back, he did mention in the beginning that he would like to explore the option of us once I felt I was ready but I thought he mentioned that as an excuse to keep me around. He then went on to mention that he felt indifferent about the decision....It seems like a lot of mixed messages and a complex situation that I would rather not get into. But I do admit that I feel bad if I did hurt him, as that wasn't my intention.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25, Aberdeen,Scotland

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? No

Re: Friend takes the fall for me

Anon7,
Being in the back seat probably represents your becoming more than physically attracted, that putting you in an inferior position. In the first dream 'being caught' may apply to his reaction to your decision that it would be best to end the relationship and a discovery he wasn't as honest in how you agreed to approach the relationship. In the end his reactions and his confusing signals probably supports the dream message 'he was caught not being as honest as he should have been'. These are unconscious manifestations as much as conscious but they represent how you really felt. Your being hard on him was a feeling you had after ending the relationship and that caused some guilt feelings on your part even though 'you didn't mean to hurt him'. But there was also the fact you did become uncomfortable because of how you were beginning to feel about the relationship, that being opposite {at least on the surface} of how he felt {continuing the FWB}. That would be 'the Good morning attitude' I mentioned.

Dreams speak in a language of symbol and metaphor and when there is sufficient knowledge about the dreamer an interpreter would be able to pinpoint the message. Just knowing your age and gender {both vital in interpreting any dream} limits the ability to see beyond the periphery of the dream. What the dream is doing is providing how you really feel/felt about the relationship. His indifference to your decision should be seen as a message of doubt. FWB is difficult to navigate and if there is not total honesty by both parties it lessens any viable possibility of working. You were honest with him about your feelings and what you got was 'indifference'. That should be a strong signal that ending the relationship was not only the right thing to do because of your becoming 'too interested' but also because of his attitude.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 63 Space Coast, Fla.

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Host Dream Forum

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