Katarzyna,
I'll provide a detailed response Friday. I had to alter my routine today and go to the gym early instead of my regular routine of working with dreams. I do better with my intuitive senses early mornings and to analyze a dream without those senses working on all cylinders isn't fair to you nor the process.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

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Katarzyna,
"Since a long time I had a problem with men who like me." I believe this is the message the dream is trying to convey. The issue of your troubled relationship with men and the reasons for it {which have yet to be fully given in your dreams}. In my analysis I wrote, "My sense is the dream is addressing animus qualities as well as those deeper aspects that keep your masculines from being fully developed, or accepted." There are problems to do with relationships with the masculine {men} that are not fully developed {going back to childhood} and a problem with trusting men who likes you and you turn away from them.
Or is it problems with trusting yourself {thought that if I like men the only way to show is go to bed with him}. My guess is you have problems with trust issues and that would stem from earlier experiences in life, and likely from childhood. Why are you afraid of sexuality? The dream seems to be pointing to an undeveloped, proper relationship with men in early life.

The way you describe the experience with the guy at work seems to point to unconscious motivated behavior on your part {Overwhelming emotions from my side}. Something unconsciously is driving you and to the point you feel you must hurt men. My sense is, and this comes from personal experience that is very similar to your feeling you need to 'give everything', is you are duplicating early life influences. I suggest you look at your mother and father and determine if you are doing the same thing they did when you were a child. You state there were no traumatic experiences in your life. But early learning as a child can do as much harm to the psyche as a traumatic experience. As a young adult I was imitating my father in many ways {he was na SOB all of his life}, especially to do with sex. I was trying o find, through sexual relationships, the love and acceptance I never received as a child from my father. Your experience in life seems to be very much along the same experiences.

You need to determine why it is you feel this way toward men. I suggest you go back as far as you can in childhood and try to remember what experiences you had. Examine your whole childhood, you mother and father's attitude and how they lived their lives and see what influences there are that might cause you to have the feelings you have as an adult. This is exactly what the Individuation Process is all about. A self examination of your whole life. I did this {began at age 42} and discovered the unconscious motivations. As the old saying goes. like father like son. I was imitating him {when it came to sex and relationships-I never was the SOB when it came to being a father}.

Let me know your thoughts and anything you may come up with off he top of your head. This is a process that will take a lot of time to resolve, it is not something that you will be able to solve over night.That will require discipline, staying the course and following the path to self understanding.
This is what the hero/heroine journey is about. All heros/heroines disciplined themselves to achieve their goal. You are the heroine in your own life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

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Hi Jerry,

Thank you very much for this. Lots of thinking for me.

As for now I can tell that relationship between my parents were pretty good, although as a child I heard a lot from my mother about bad behaviour from father side. I don't mean sexual bad behaviour but some situations which hurt my mother. When I was young my father spend a lot of great time with me by when I was 3-4 years old he went abroad for 2 years. When he came back he didn't participate in family life as he was previously, he was silent and reserved. Maybe that is why I feel that way.

But if I didn't develop strong relationship with in early childhood why strong emotions? I don't understand that.

Very difficult topic, but as you said I will give myself a time for that journey:)

Thanks a mill again!

Smiles for You!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31

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Katarzyna,
Early life impressions are imprinted on the psyche. The first 3-4 years of life were with a loving time with your father. When he left and then returned that changed. It could be his lack of participation as a father affected your impression of him. Children pick up on things unconsciously and anything that has to do with close relationships, especially to do with love and acceptance, are also imprinted on the psyche. Whether those impressions are strong enough to have an influence on you as an adult would require a deeper inspection. Plus there is your mother's talking about bad behavior on your father's side. Could there be something you do not know about your father that would be relevant? There was a change in him before and after his trip abroad. What was that about {the trip}? I believe I read in a previous post you saw your father in very high esteem. You may want to examine those years he was away and see what is there. What you picked up on as intuitively a young child could have been a building block to your personality {if there was something negative}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

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Hi Jerry,

I will have to think about it.

Thank you very much again. I will discover what's it about but need some time.

Smiles:)

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31

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Katarzyna,
Take your time. I know this is something new to consider and may or may not be relevant. It was very early in life, a time when you were just beginning to have memories {age 4/5 is when a child first begins to have memories}. But even with that children are able to pick up on things and store them even at an earlier age.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes