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Re: Dream that\\\'s against my morals/beliefs

J,
This will be different from what you may have expected but having worked with dreams {which are a direct link to the unconscious} I believe there is more to the dream than just the subject of sex.

My sense is the dream is addressing spiritual and moral issues {churches are often symbolic of spiritual aspects within the psyche}. A rebellion of sorts. The boy would be both a literal person {the boy you are not sure you like or not} as well as your identification with church and its rules. I'll get to the literal boy application later in my analysis}. In that sense the boy represents the masculine/patriarchal associations with the church which you are not 'unconsciously' sure you like or not {although you state you agree with the sex before marriage issue}. At the age of 16 you are still developing attitudes toward many things in life and your spiritual identity is one of them {a very important one}. The sex in this context is not literal sex {dreams speak in a language of symbol and metaphor****} but a 'union of opposites' or resolution of conflicts within your mind about those church issues you oppose. The reason I state there are issues to do with church doctrine is the strong masculine involvement within the dream, masculine/patriarchal leadership {the leader}. Plus in the dream there is the true expression of how you feel, "in my dream I just kept thinking that I didn't care about the rules because it felt good/made me happy." Dreams reflect your true self and no matter how much you consciously may believe in something, your true feelings are expressed in your dreams. You support the one issue of sex after marriage but there is a divider between you and the room the 'leader' is in {the leader may be your literal preacher/priest and you may or may not have negative feelings toward him personally}. The leader brings in other leaders in {all men I assume, including your dad} and they represent masculine/patriarchal authority. The sex is a reconciliation of your intuitive opposition to the masculine authority {there may be other issues outside the church, specifically to do with your dad in which you feel a need to rebell}. The sex is with all your clothes on and clothes symbolize personality and ego persona. It is not literal sex in that sense although the moral issue may be in the back of your mind {which would be normal human behavior since sex is a natural aspect of being human}. These 'leaders' know if you do not abide by their rules you will 'see the boy' {developing your own attitudes that fit with your true self}. This is what patriarchal rule is all about and instinctively you are rebelling against it. I believe the dream is addressing these issues. As you grow older I bet you will be more independent in your views because the dream is reflecting who you really are. And that person does not feel comfortable with men telling women how to live. Not being a virgin is not being pure to the faith that is being taught to you. There is guilt because of these feelings, which you do not regret because they are your true feelings, your true self, and the truth as it really is {and not all of what the church teaches}.

As for the 'literal' boy and the dream. Do your parents have strict rules about seeing boys? All dreams/dream images have at least two interpretations/applications {per Jung}. The dream is addressing not only the emotional conflict {dreams are about the emotions} with the patriarchal church but also to do with boys in general. You are forbidden not only from seeing boys but even thinking about it. Are there strict rules in your family on both issues?

**** language of symbol and metaphor-Jesus spoke in parables and the definition of a parable is metaphorical story, not to be taken literally but symbolically. Just as with dreams you must look beyond the story and see the metaphorical references. In a dream the image of Jesus would represent your highest spiritual self and WWJD is what should rule your life. That would be the symbolic message of the dream. Jesus death and resurrection on the cross is what must happen to the individual, a metaphorical reference to dying toe the ego centered, materialistic self and a 'resurrection' to the spiritual self {WWJD that rules your life}.

I sense from the dream you are more of a free thinker and the rules of the church as well as parents my instinctively go against who you really are. As long as you live from the spiritual center {WWJD} then the rules of the church should be taken with a brain of salt since much of what they teach is geared toward controlling people {power and money}. WWJD and not necessarily what men of the church tell you to do {not to mean you should have sex before marriage, one rule you agree with}.

Jerry

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