Hi Jerry,

Thank you very much for this. Lots of thinking for me.

As for now I can tell that relationship between my parents were pretty good, although as a child I heard a lot from my mother about bad behaviour from father side. I don't mean sexual bad behaviour but some situations which hurt my mother. When I was young my father spend a lot of great time with me by when I was 3-4 years old he went abroad for 2 years. When he came back he didn't participate in family life as he was previously, he was silent and reserved. Maybe that is why I feel that way.

But if I didn't develop strong relationship with in early childhood why strong emotions? I don't understand that.

Very difficult topic, but as you said I will give myself a time for that journey:)

Thanks a mill again!

Smiles for You!

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Katarzyna,
Early life impressions are imprinted on the psyche. The first 3-4 years of life were with a loving time with your father. When he left and then returned that changed. It could be his lack of participation as a father affected your impression of him. Children pick up on things unconsciously and anything that has to do with close relationships, especially to do with love and acceptance, are also imprinted on the psyche. Whether those impressions are strong enough to have an influence on you as an adult would require a deeper inspection. Plus there is your mother's talking about bad behavior on your father's side. Could there be something you do not know about your father that would be relevant? There was a change in him before and after his trip abroad. What was that about {the trip}? I believe I read in a previous post you saw your father in very high esteem. You may want to examine those years he was away and see what is there. What you picked up on as intuitively a young child could have been a building block to your personality {if there was something negative}.

Jerry

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Hi Jerry,

I will have to think about it.

Thank you very much again. I will discover what's it about but need some time.

Smiles:)

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Katarzyna,
Take your time. I know this is something new to consider and may or may not be relevant. It was very early in life, a time when you were just beginning to have memories {age 4/5 is when a child first begins to have memories}. But even with that children are able to pick up on things and store them even at an earlier age.

Jerry

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