Power of Dreams/MDS Dream Forum

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Jul 16, 2014 - 11:16AM

166.137.156.23

Re: Fire dream

Thank U so much again for your time. U r so right in your interpretations & observations. I do have trust issues. I just recently figured out that it stems from my childhood. I was molested as a child but I pushed this out of my mind. I never think about this until I prayed & asked God to help me & he begin to replay my life back to me starting w/ my childhood. I never thought this had a real effect on me b/c I chose not to tell anyone & I just acted like it never happened so to me it wasn't real. When God brought this back to me as something that I needed to talk about I did w/ my parents. I have really good parents. They r very religious people. I have a wonderful dad also. He has always been there. I never felt comfortable enough to tell my parents. I didn't want my dad to b upset & my mom to b furious. I was also ashamed. This hurt me badly when I was 5 or 6. I remember my mother painting my finger nails pink & red after this happened it it would make me physically sick to my stomach but I felt that I couldn't tell her what was wrong so I pretty much suffered in silence & I chose to forget about it.

Later in life I always chose the bad boy type. I don't know y. I guess b/c I've lived a sheltered life. My parents only let us go to family members homes. I can count on one hand how many sleep overs or parties I got to go to. So the guy I chose was very different from me. In fact he was horrible a flat out criminal (I learned this after I was I when so deep w/ him.) he was very abusive to me in every way. He cheated all of the time. He hit me all the time. I couldn't get away from him. I also lost a baby in this relationship. i had a really hard time. I prayed i was so tired & so scared so I prayed to God & the next day He got picked up & put in jail & from there he went to prison. God spared my life.

After that i had another boyfriend that was abusive but the first time he hit me i never saw him again. i stayed away b/c i knew from my first experience he would not change & it helped that we lived in 2 different cities. my next real serious boyfriend which i planned to marry i let him in my world my family loved him my church family loved him my friends loved him & my grandparents but he cheated on me & had a child behind my back. i didn't find out until a week before this child was born & it was the girl herself that told me. she called my job & did this in the most hurtful nasty way possible.i had no idea he was cheating I didn't know anything I felt like a total fool. I trusted him & he just stumped all over me. There are many more stories but my experiences have helped to shape my impressions & views on men. When I choose men I don't know how I end up w/ abusers or cheaters or just people that are not loyal. I have a hard time controlling my thoughts & emotions. I feel confused I don't know what's right in relationships or what's wrong. I am having a hard time understanding y my way of thinking is wrong it helps protect me I feel but then it hurts the person I'm w/ if what I am accusing them of isn't true. I don't want to hurt anyone I just want to love & be loved. I do not trust myself in choosing a man I have always made the wrong choice that is y I pray & ask God for help & guidance.

I am dating a guy that is so sweet however I also feel other ways about him. I have several thoughts about him b/c of the way he does things. He is a people person he does a lot of things in the public view. He is very outgoing. sometimes I feel like he doesn't understand me & I feel like when I ask him not to do certain things he ignores me. He continues to do these things that drive me. He says that he is not flirting w/ women but i don't believe him b/c of what i see. (Right now we r just dating we r not in a committed relationship). This type of relationship is hard for me to deal w/. I pray all the time but I know it's like u said I need to take action myself as well to help myself also. I do need therapy & I hope that I can afford to do this soon. I appreciate your help so much Jerry.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 30

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Female

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Jul 16th, 2014 - 11:16 AM

Jerry Gifford-Host & WebMaster

Jul 16, 2014 - 11:55AM

97.102.10.53

Re: Fire dream

Agsunshine,
As long as you 'hide' these experiences and emotions and not confront them they will continue to control your life. The abuse is something that has taken control over you although you consciously push the experiences deeper from thinking about it. The pattern I talked about in choices of relationship is a part of the control. The guy you are dating now may or may not be the right guy for you. But as long as your senses are corrupted by unconscious stimuli you will not be able to tell right from wrong. He may the right person and just happens to have a strong introverted personality. By having these trust issues your 'intuitive' senses, those that naturally let you know true and false, is out of balance. That important psyche quality needs to function properly or you will remain at the mercy of the unconscious energies you have lived with. I strongly suggest therapy with a trained clinician or psychologist. No matter how great your belief in God is it is up to you to take control and do the deeds necessary to heal.

Please seek help. Life can be hell on earth if you continue to let these emotional conflicts ruin any chance of having a loving relationship with the right man.

Jerry

Do not feel obligated to contribute. This is strictly voluntary and does not affect your ability to post your dreams for analysis....Jerry

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