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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Jerry,

Thank you for your taking a look at this dream. Please take as much time as is necessary for you.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28; NH - USA

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Anonymous,
I am working on your dream {as well as other posted dreams}. I will have something for you either later today or in the morning.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Anonymous,
I've not forgotten your dream posts. Will try to provide an analysis on Wednesday.

Jerry

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Anonymous,
This is a very dark dream which probably reflects both inner and outer aspects and emotions. The name you gave the dream fits appropriately. Here is what I get from the dream, broken down {in a summary} by paragraphs {10}. I'm looking over your previous posts and seeing where this fits with those. It does seem that your inner life is very dark even though your current life may be stable {from your response "My waking life is probably in the best place it has been in for many years, perhaps even for my entire life"}. My sense is the unconscious energies that motivate your conscious life are still very much alive and capable of bringing you down. Of course this would all have to do with your parents and your early life. If you could comment on this {possibility of bringing you down} while I analyze the dreams as a whole it may provide insights.


Paragraph Breakdown {Summary}

1. Trying to escape from inner and outer emotional persecution.
2. stored inside are 'overcast' emotions. unconscious connection that needs expression. uncomfortable emotions. emotional conflict. hard to realize unconscious motivations. heavy emotions that are deteriorating {a deterioration that could be reflected in your conscious life}.
3. Emotional loads. conscious life is reflective of inner conditions. future seems bleak. seeking ways to avoid emotions.
4. Death within the unconscious. Even heaven is in ruins. A need to seek a way out
5. Even with rays of hope there is very little personal growth. Looking beyond the outer self and seeing only darkness. dead inside.
6. Resigned to conscious life of emotional turmoil
7. Going within and discovering the source of your grounding, the motivators to your life.
8. By bringing up/out the inner demons there is an opportunity for growth. Some light within the darkness.
9. When looking within, when you seek the motivators for your conscious life the beast emerges. It has spread throughout your physical and psychological life {the emotional issues are affecting your whole being, physical and psychological}
10. Life is stomping you down. The emotional winds have the force of a gale. You go with the winds.

Jerry



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Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Male

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Firstly, I am posting my response from behind a VPN. My IP address will be different, so hopefully that doesn't mess things up for you. Please let me know if that is okay.

Jerry Gifford-Host & WebMaster
Anonymous,
This is a very dark dream which probably reflects both inner and outer aspects and emotions. The name you gave the dream fits appropriately. Here is what I get from the dream, broken down {in a summary} by paragraphs {10}. I'm looking over your previous posts and seeing where this fits with those. It does seem that your inner life is very dark even though your current life may be stable {from your response "My waking life is probably in the best place it has been in for many years, perhaps even for my entire life"}. My sense is the unconscious energies that motivate your conscious life are still very much alive and capable of bringing you down. Of course this would all have to do with your parents and your early life. If you could comment on this {possibility of bringing you down} while I analyze the dreams as a whole it may provide insights.


Before we get to the meat and potatoes of this, I wanted to thank you for the considerable work you have undergone to look through this dream. It is something I deeply appreciate and I treasure what you have to say regarding dreams such as this.

Things are a bit different from the last time I posted. I have escaped the crushing yoke of my parents' home and share a wonderful house with three wonderful roommates. I have also found rapport with my siblings and we can now quite freely discuss the state of my parents' lives without having to do so in hushed tones and in secret. That very change in my situation is really helping a lot of stuff that has been simmering without end and without release to dissipate instead of explode. After having done their best to attempt to destroy me it seems that my parents will settle for destroying themselves instead, unfortunately. I would like to think that it won't affect me all that much but watching your parents jump headlong into oblivion is not pleasant, regardless of what your feelings towards them are.

Paragraph Breakdown {Summary}

1. Trying to escape from inner and outer emotional persecution.


My parents have been superficially supportive of me and my journey but that support is so tenuous that it almost seems completely ephemeral. Much of this comes from my father, whom half the time I feel is sincerely sarcastic instead of merely sincere. His other children have stopped communicating with him when they can help it and it seems that I will be joining them in that practice. I suppose that inwardly there are still hazards that I must navigate. I once absolutely despised myself and thoroughly savaged everything I attempted, believed in, or thought. I left myself no mercy in anything. This went on for many years but has been largely effectively treated through a lot of medication and a lot of therapy. It is still there, but quite diminished from its former frequency (read: constant). It takes a while for a brain to form new habits, and that old one goes back a long ways.

2. stored inside are 'overcast' emotions. unconscious connection that needs expression. uncomfortable emotions. emotional conflict. hard to realize unconscious motivations. heavy emotions that are deteriorating {a deterioration that could be reflected in your conscious life}.


The deterioration may be from elements of my conscious life given that right now I am ecstatic with most things in my life besides my parents. I am somewhat fearful that without any grounding, non-enabling element in their home that they will fall off the rails. My dad was already tipsy after I was gone for only a couple hours and it was impossible not to notice when I came back to get more of my stuff. My mom is going to have to get a serious surgical procedure which entails lifestyle changes to not end horribly, the type of changes I feel she is utterly unable to make good on. I am kind of confronting the reality that within a short time my parents will be checked out from their own lives in addition to mine.

3. Emotional loads. conscious life is reflective of inner conditions. future seems bleak. seeking ways to avoid emotions.


I suppose I am quite avoidant of the situation with my parents, partially because I feel that I cannot rescue them (nor do I really want to try), and partially because the major onus for getting out of the house, after having gotten other important affairs in order, was to get the hell away from them.

4. Death within the unconscious. Even heaven is in ruins. A need to seek a way out


I hadn't actually died in a dream in a long time so this one struck me as unusual partially because of that. The whole plaster walls with wood trim and dim light look is actually a very consistent dream element/environment, and I have at least a few dreams in a place like that each month. I recall dreams in a place like this going back a full decade. Usually it looks kind of dingy at worst (oftentimes just normal instead). This is the first time I can remember it looking so ramshackle.

5. Even with rays of hope there is very little personal growth. Looking beyond the outer self and seeing only darkness. dead inside.


Part of me wonders if this is my default dream state after having spent so long mired within gloom. I do have very vivid and uplifting dreams with decent regularity (two of which I would like to post but I don't want to hog all of your resources, though they aren't nearly as long as this one). Still, I often dream in unsettling or borderline disturbing environments or of similar themes. I certainly wouldn't call myself dead inside, though if this was merely five years ago you would be absolutely, 100% correct.

6. Resigned to conscious life of emotional turmoil


It never really stopped; the type of turmoil just seems to change. This does seem to be a better point, though, if that can be believed given the content of this dream.

7. Going within and discovering the source of your grounding, the motivators to your life.


I have had to do a lot of digging lately deep below the surface of my life and my thoughts. I feel that I am beginning to discover these motivators you speak of, though I have yet to determine how best to channel them.


It is quite late where I am now, but I shall attempt to address your three other points sometime tomorrow.

Thank you!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28; NH - USA

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Continuing from yesterday...

Jerry Gifford-Host & WebMaster
8. By bringing up/out the inner demons there is an opportunity for growth. Some light within the darkness.


This has been a primary pursuit of mine for some time now, first through therapy and medication, and then through introspection and an active redirection of my life. I finally feel like I am approaching a visible light at the tunnel, which for many years I didn't believe even existed.

9. When looking within, when you seek the motivators for your conscious life the beast emerges. It has spread throughout your physical and psychological life {the emotional issues are affecting your whole being, physical and psychological}


The psychological aspect is probably obvious from my posting, but the physical aspect is no less real. Depending on the level of stress I might get insomnia, might not be able to get out of bed, might have horrible digestive issues, or get any number of all sorts of wonderful maladies. Having been away from my parents for some time now these are starting to subside and stay diminished or gone for longer periods.

10. Life is stomping you down. The emotional winds have the force of a gale. You go with the winds.


I most certainly agree that for a long time I felt as if I was being curb-stomped by life and the universe in general. The severity of this has gradually reduced over the last few years, as have unpleasant dreams and nightmares. I do feel, however, that I am dulled to these sorts of dreams, and often don't feel malaise or discomfort after waking from them except in the most egregious (and rare) circumstances. I am not sure if that is a good thing.

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Re: Somber Dream with Icy Beast

Anonymous,

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Your Dream

Because this is a very dark dream points to continued unsettled emotions. Was this a recent dream, one that occurred before or after your first posts? Although you are making ground in your journey to better understand your emotional self and in personal growth, unconsciously there are still many things to be worked out. This maybe a focus on the fears about your grounding and parent's involvement in your life. To better understand those early life influences/experiences may be what needs to be worked out. These are motivating energies, unconsciously driving you to be something other than you should be and do things in a manner that benefits your personal growth. Trying to rescue them is a heroic deed but the need to rescue yourself may be what needs to be a priority. It may be difficult to do but as long as you have unconscious energies working against you, especially because they involve earlier experiences with your parents, it may be impossible be able to help them. You can't change them in an instant and to put those needed energies elsewhere {instead of yourself} may be to no avail. As you stated in your response, "It never really stopped; the type of turmoil just seems to change." the cycle must be broken or it will continue as is.

Spend time on the motivators. Go back to early life and see what happened as a child that would have left strong impressions on your psyche. The type personalities of your parents is important since you will either imitate those or rebel against them {or a mixture of both}. A lack of good parenting is always a factor. Specific experiences that you may vaguely remember should be looked at and see what else comes up. A concentrated examination of your early life will bring about memories long forgotten consciously but not unconsciously. After you do this look at yourself and see how it all fits.It will fit because those early life experiences/influences are the ground of your personality and your life {in the present and future}. It is good you are doing this at an early stage in life because if you leave it as is the motivators will not only continue to exert its energies, but it could get worse. You are on the right track/path. Put as much time possible into it because that is what is needed to bring up the unconscious energies so you can 'see' them clearly. They have been relegated to the depths and must be brought back up. When you understand them then you must act to resolve what ever remains of their ability to influence your psyche. To know/understand them and do nothing i probably the worst thing that could be done. Yo are merely adding another layer of energy to their existence.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Cocoa, Fl

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