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"Look elswhere"

Hi Jerry, it's been so long. (Last June) I wonder if you even remember writing to me.

I wanted to write and say that I'm still here and I feel really badly for not getting back to you after you took the time to talk with me.
A lot of things happened the day after I wrote my last post my Aunt had me drop everything to come and house it for her. She lives in the middle of nowhere and has a huge garden for me to take care of. So I was glad to do it. She also lives close to the beach so I spent time there with Daniel and it was an overall great and relaxing experience-just what I needed.

The second I got home things turned for the worst. Construction began on our home. I know that doesn't sound like much, and I'm ashamed for letting it affect me as strongly as it did, but I can't do anything about it now.

We had no walls, no windows, no insulation in the dead of winter and with their working on the storage unit outside we had twice as much clutter as usual.
It was maddening. As my grandmother says " Cluttered house cluttered mind" and to make matters worse all of the dust and debris gave me sever Asthma. I couldn't go down the one flight of stairs to escape my home and the mess.
Of course, both Daniel and I being stuck in the same tiny room all day every day for 6 months wasn't good for our relationship.
This was all supposed to end in Feb but the construction workers are just now clearing their equipment out of our parking lot.
It really did a number on my sanity-and that is difficult to accomplish.

As of now I'm feeling a lot better and our relationship has come through without a scratch.
Last time we talked you told me that you were working on a book. How's that going? I'm sure that Daniel would just love it. I would too but it takes me forever to get around to reading to anything. I've got a list to fit an entire book shelf.

Anyway I do have one dream I'd like to share.

Something important to note: I have been fairly sleep deprived because I can't sleep when it's warm. That explains part of this dream.
*****************************************
I was at my Mom's place, on her birthday. Her terrible Redneck boyfriend was there. I was suspicious of him but didn't care enough to do anything about it.

Mom's last gift was a plastic sword. Mom really isn't int swords but it belonged to some ancestor. ( Yah, a toy sword, I didn't get it either)

Mom gave it to me saying " This is more 'your thing." I didn't really appreciate it since the sword was cracked down the middle. I figured she was using me to get rid of it.

I was tired and cranky so I went to bed. Everyone else left.

I woke to find the boyfriend attempting to summon a Hydra. It would take some time for it to arrive.
I really wanted nothing to do with this but if I didn't stop him things would get loud, annoying and very, warm.

With a groan I grumpily stormed downstairs and grabbed the plastic sword thinking that even if I had no power what so ever surely this toy sword did...somehow.
I ran downtown which was now a medieval courtyard with mages warriors and other generic fantasy types scrambling to organize and fend off the dragon.

I found some alchemist and shoved the sword into her hands.
" Fix it!" I demanded.
" Uuh..you can't use this."
" Yah, it's broken that's why I'm telling you to fix it!"
" No that's not what I meant you can't use this."
" I can too! I'm not completely useless! I'm sure I have some power!"
" Well, I'm sure you do but it isn't here. This is just a toy."
" So enchant it or something!"
"Look elsewhere." They insisted.

Then the Hydra showed up and killed everyone. With an annoyed sigh I reset time back to before I left my Mom's house.
Yet again I found myself to be utterly useless. Everyone died and I reset time again.

This happened repeatedly - resetting time while I tried to find any useful ability I might have.( yes, I realized the irony)

Every time I'd get more and more aggravated with my inability to do anything useful.
Everyone else had their fancy swords, spears, bows and arrows, even the merchants were useful in repairing weapons. Not me. I could do nothing.

Eventually my 'irritation gauge' filled and activated my special power " Pout"
I sat on the ground refusing to move. Eventually the Hydra showed up. It charged and everyone ran.
Except me.
There I sat. too annoyed to do anything except yell. "Screw you! I'm not doing it again!!"

The dragon stopped just a few feet from me, like it was waiting for me to do something.

" Not. Doing it." I growled as I glared right into it's eyes-apparently with such a cold stare that the entire court yard, Hydra included, froze solid.

It was so quiet. So...cold.

With a quick look around and a sigh of relief I curled up on the ice and fell asleep.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 F Seattle

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
I'll provide a response Wednesday. Have been working on other dreams and other 'mental activities' for 6 hours I am spent. Mentally it can be taxing and when I get to a point where I can not rely on my intuitive self I stop and wait for another day. I wish to be exact as I can in addressing all posts.

Jerry



Click Here for details on how to help

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
Give me another day to analyze this dream. I have gone back over your other posts and want to be as factual as possible about what this dream s trying to communicate. On the conversation we had by e-mail. Do you still have that e-mail? If so could you send the whole conversation to me. It could help tremendously.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: "Look elswhere"

Take your time.

I don't have it unfortunatly. I've had a very persistant stalker so I don't save anything. If there's anything particular you need to know I can send you another E-mail.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 F Seattle

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
I'll try and locate it from my e-mail files. I want to have as much info as possible since we have already analyzed previous dreams.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
Things have changed drastically for me as well. I bought a house in Cocoa, Fl. But the biggest change is taking on the responsibility of caring for community/feral cats in my new neighborhood {see below at end of my post}. There are about 22-23 homeless cats most of which I have had spayed/neutered as well as their shots. I had 4 cats of my own before moving and have had at least two for the past 12 years or so. I have put the book on the back burner which allows me the time to learn more about the structure and process of dreams. I have over the past year or so begun to see particular patterns in dreams I hadn't realized {or read about} previously. I also have begun o recognize personality traits in certain dreams. Of course a lot of this is speculation but when I include it in my analysis I get a positive response. If it fits it must be true.

Note: One example of a pattern I have noticed in dreams is anytime a young child, known or unknown is in the beginning of a dream {the exposition} that child is the dreamer. Often the person didn't realize it was them. Since I have included this in my analysis I have received a positive response every time.

If it fits it must be true.

Your Dream
When did you have this dream. It seems to fit the period of time during the renovation of your house. I have provided the dream broken down bu sentence {or several} and then given my thoughts to what each may represent. There is a distinct pattern about being your true {normal, usual} self and not an emotional self that has developed negative attitudes.

Here is my analyzation. The dream sentence is first followed by my remarks. My interpretation has the -- marks


I was at my Mom's place, on her birthday. Her terrible Redneck boyfriend was there. I was suspicious of him but didn't care enough to do anything about it.

--Relationship and acceptance of one's higher self. A problem with communication. not using intuitive senses.

Mom's last gift was a plastic sword. Mom really isn't int swords but it belonged to some ancestor. ( Yah, a toy sword, I didn't get it either)

--A gift of power of being your true self. Your true natural self

Mom gave it to me saying " This is more 'your thing." I didn't really appreciate it since the sword was cracked down the middle. I figured she was using me to get rid of it.

--True self divided, the ego using its power

I was tired and cranky so I went to bed. Everyone else left.

--Bridging conscious to unconscious and leaving everything else behind

I woke to find the boyfriend attempting to summon a Hydra. It would take some time for it to
arrive.

--using positive masculine aspects seeking rejuvenation

I really wanted nothing to do with this but if I didn't stop him things would get loud, annoying and very, warm.

--resisting true emotions

With a groan I grumpily stormed downstairs and grabbed the plastic sword thinking that even if I had no power what so ever surely this toy sword did...somehow.

--Not knowing if you have emotional power in your ego life

I ran downtown which was now a medieval courtyard with mages warriors and other generic fantasy types scrambling to organize and fend off the dragon.

--unconsciously fending off the 'dragon' of the past

I found some alchemist and shoved the sword into her hands.
Finding courage to change within to find true self
" Fix it!" I demanded.
" Uuh..you can't use this."
" Yah, it's broken that's why I'm telling you to fix it!"
" No that's not what I meant you can't use this."
" I can too! I'm not completely useless! I'm sure I have some power!"
" Well, I'm sure you do but it isn't here. This is just a toy."
" So enchant it or something!"
"Look elsewhere." They insisted.

--inner debate of emotional conflicts involving true self and ego self

Then the Hydra showed up and killed everyone. With an annoyed sigh I reset time back to before I left my Mom's house.

--Being true self will change everything, reset your higher self to be in control

Yet again I found myself to be utterly useless. Everyone died and I reset time again.

--unable to access true self, all aspects have changed and there is a need to reset yor inner power

This happened repeatedly - resetting time while I tried to find any useful ability I might have.( yes, I realized the irony)

--a constant need to reset

Every time I'd get more and more aggravated with my inability to do anything useful.
Everyone else had their fancy swords, spears, bows and arrows, even the merchants were useful in repairing weapons. Not me. I could do nothing.

--Not able to be true self, a need to repair defensive attitudes

Eventually my 'irritation gauge' filled and activated my special power " Pout"

--Irritation at full load. showing expression of true emotions

I sat on the ground refusing to move. Eventually the Hydra showed up. It charged and everyone ran.
Except me.
--standing your ground and being your true self

There I sat. too annoyed to do anything except yell. "Screw you! I'm not doing it again!!"

--not allowing negative emotions to be expressed

The dragon stopped just a few feet from me, like it was waiting for me to do something.

--the devouring aspects are ended

" Not. Doing it." I growled as I glared right into it's eyes-apparently with such a cold stare that the entire court yard, Hydra included, froze solid.

--not allowing true self to close down

It was so quiet. So...cold.

--reflecting on how you feel about yourself

With a quick look around and a sigh of relief I curled up on the ice and fell asleep.

--letting go of the cold emotions and being true self

I'll let you put all the bits together. It should reflect your emotional self at the time you had the dream.

Jerry



Click Here for details on how to help

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: "Look elswhere"

That all makes a whole lot of sense. it never ceases to amaze me how straight-forward dreams can be.

I'll have to give you a more detailed response tomorrow. I'm terrible at organizing thoughtsso it will take a lot of writing and re-writing to really say what I want to.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 F Seattle

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: "Look elswhere"

I apologize for not having this done a few days ago. My Grandparents took me on a surprise trip to Newport. That's how my family works- we don't plan things we just do them.

I bet those cats are very grateful you moved in. I've always admired people who share their good fortune and give back. I hope have the stability to do that some day.

On my own I have learned a little about dreams, or so I think. If nothing else I've noticed patterns, reoccurring themes, but that's probably common sense considering tend to have reoccurring issues.
I've had dreams where I was myself, standing a with a young child. He never said a word but seemed to know what was going on. Sounds pretty expositional.

This was about a month ago. I was Corgy-sitting for a friend of my aunts
(with the garden) I love being out there. With no one else around, I can be myself. Every time I'm out there I tell myself
" I'm not going back to that. I'm going to relax and focus on me and then I'll be better." But it never lasts. The second I get back to the real world, to other people that all falls apart.

I am terrible at communicating with people. My strongest trait is my intuition. I can think very quickly and adapt to just about anything. There have been many times when 'my brain' ( as I call it. I'd say it's my subconscious) will just know the answer to something. When I question or ignore the answers it gives me, I am always wrong.

This ties into not being my true myself because I live in an area where everyone is in the tech industry. They are the exact opposite of myself in the above aspect. They think and react slowly, always plan ahead and because I don't they pretty much ignore everything I have to say. So I just stay quiet.

That isn't me. In the past I've always been confident and forceful. People listened to me. Something happened several years ago and I was never the same. I'm not forceful, I don't speak up no one cares what I have to say and I hate myself for it.
Something I've noticed is that almost all of my close friends who have ever had a dream about me- it's the same. There is a serious problem, an attempted robbery, a castle/town defense ect. I don't care and their screaming for my help just annoys me. Eventually, I drop what I'm doing to help with an attitude of " Fine! If it will shut you up."
Then I obliterate the problem quickly and decisively before going right back to what I was doing.

This is what I mean when I said that it's amazing how literal dreams can be. The me in this dream didn't care but when I did, I easily took care of the problem.I this might be another another meaning of freezing the Hydra? Fighting it would have been a pain. I'd be stuck in an endless loop of cutting off heads. So I stopped it before that could happen. That is what my true self would do.
I can shrug off severe injury, I can laugh at death and I can keep a cool head in situations most wouldn't.
The problem is those are my only skills. I can't fix a computer, I can't run a mile, I don't get many "Likes" on Facebook.
I couldn't even tell you what my interests are. Really, it's always just been surviving and I don't have to do that anymore.

I have a comfortable, normal life. I have nothing to fight against (save for a sink perpetually full of dishes) and with nothing to fight. The problems face now are insignificant (Why my 'dream self' never wants to be bothered to do anything about it?)
So no matter how hard I try to 'reset' to my true there's no opportunity for me to do so.


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 F Seattle

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Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
I'll give a detailed response to your last post tomorrow. Not enough hours in the day to do all I need to do and that is not how I figured my retirement would be. But I am doing what I wish to do so that can't be too bad a thing.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: "Look elswhere"


I completely understand. Even without a job or cats relying on me there never seems to be enough time.
It's good to keep busy. You seem like the type of person who would be bored without too much to do. Still, taking time for yourself is important.
I can wait.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 31 F Seattle

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: "Look elswhere"

Hera,
Addressing your comments from your post.
"I've had dreams where I was myself, standing a with a young child. He never said a word but seemed to know what was going on. Sounds pretty expositional."


I have found in dreams, especially if it is in the beginning {exposition} of a dream, the child is the dreamer {if of the same sex}. Of course in this case it would have to be an animus aspect but could be related to your childhood. Or possibly a real male child. Was there a brother or a male child in your early years of life who could know what was going on?


This was about a month ago. I was Corgy-sitting for a friend of my aunts
(with the garden) I love being out there. With no one else around, I can be myself. Every time I'm out there I tell myself
" I'm not going back to that. I'm going to relax and focus on me and then I'll be better." But it never lasts. The second I get back to the real world, to other people that all falls apart.


What inhibits ur ability to be our true self is social duty. Joseph Campbell's definition of Nirvana {in Hinduism/Buddhism Nirvana is a place of perfect peace and happiness, like heaven} is an indifference to fear, desire and social duty. Few people get past social duty to even deal with their inner fears and desires. This seems to be what you are looking for, and what I have worked for and mostly achieved in my life.


Intuition is an under-appreciated, under-used natural skill. Nature provide this 'sixth' sense as a toll for survival. Because we do not need it the modern world it is consciously ignored. But intuition can be enhanced and used as a great asset. I used it constantly when meeting with people. I had problems remembering names and other visial aspects of a person but I instantly 'knew' the person. I credit my ability to analyze and interpret dreams to a well developed intuitive sense. That along with the people skills I learned in my life {I was a health codes inspector for 12 years where I constantly engaged all types of people}. Having a developed intuitive sense gives you an advantage when you learn to 'go with' the first impression and not think about it. It always works. ALWAYS!


Knowing this and learning to utilize your intuition may help with developing your communication skills. Remember, you have an advantage over the person you are speaking to. You know them without even knowing anything about them. That is a valuable asset, when used for doing good deeds.


What happened several years ago that would have caused the change. That is something you may need to give great thought to. Not that everything about the changes are bad {I am an extrovert who has learned to balance that with my now introverted life}. Not doing what you are told is essential in being yourself. But in lew of losing the social identity that sustains the ego personality one must find that thing in life that gives meaning to it. The Muse, the creative self is the first place to look. I have my dream work {22 years of delightful study and practice} as well as my web design and websites {my creative self expressing my true self}. Again Joseph Campbell,
"People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what we’re really seeking. I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive."


You state you have a comfortable, normal life. So did I but there was always a 'void'. It wasn't until I discovered Jungian psyche that I began to understand what that was. And was it BIG. The void was the inner child still seeking the love, affection and acceptance from an absent father. Those early years of life were embedded in my psyche. A boy who lacked direction because there was never a father there to teach him. A boy who as an adult constantly sought out new 'romances' as a substitute for the love never received from a father {this is a common mythological motif, Luke Skywalker being the perfect example}. I was married three time to three wonderful women {and god knows how many other short term relationships}. Some say this is an excuse. I know better not only from my own experiences but from working with dreams and seeing the same patterns within others. Once you begin to realize the unconscious energies that are at work and make a conscious effort to change that, you begin the path to healing. You learn to let go consciously and the unconscious energies dissipate.


But that is only the beginning. You will need a replacement for the substitute {the many relationships as a substitute for a non loving-father}. That is where the creative self comes in. Finding that thing in life you love doing most, and making that your life. Not to make money but to share your deepest positive self. In the process, and this is also important, you discover a spiritual aspect that helps sustain you in the world of pain and suffering. Not a religious identity but one of in accord with nature and the positive aspects that where meant for our human existence {which we totally lack as a people and which will bring about our doom because of the demise of our planet}. I grew up in the conservative Christian church but now reject their dogma. I hold on to the example of Jesus as well as that of the Buddha. WWJD? When you do that you have reached Buddha consciousness, the highest level of attainment in a human life. And when you create you are sharing from the soul, a spiritual endeavor that benefits both giver and receiver.


I was 42 when I began my inner travels. It took about 6 years after that to discover my 'bliss'. Now I spend my time living that bliss {and caring for an umpteen number of cats}. It is a usual story you find with many who have gone 'inward' and realized it is all psychological. The real change in my social life is to think psychologically, objectively and not emotionally. Most people think and live emotionally {the reason why they are so easily manipulated}. That is where you, and I need to be different. And the great thing is it works. Live a life according to the laws of Karma {cause and effect-what happens in life is most always caused by the actions of the individual}. And find that one thing that is your bliss. Again Joseph Campbell,
"If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be."


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 64 Male Cocoa, Fl

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