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Not being able to save my dog

Hello Forum,

This is a story that happened to me:

Hans a 14 year old dachshund, would pee in bed yet he would defecate outside the bed. He would fall sometimes when he walked because his hind legs were a little weak. Dachshunds tend to have spinal cord issues sometimes. Anyways I was under a lot of pressure to have Hans euthanized because he had an oral nasal fistula that made the food he ate enter his nasal cavity where it would stay and rot attracting flies. This oral nasal fistula reduced Hans quality of life. I was told that since he was 14 year old dog that an operation for this fistula would not prosper because he was too old for anesthesia.
I believe there are tests to find out if a dogs kidney functions function well enough to metabolise the anesthesia because if not they could die from kidney failure.

My mother would say this dog doesn't die or get better. He just stays there. Hans liked to rest on a blanket on the floor in the afternoons.

My mother's solutions to the the flies and rotting food in Hans nasal cavity was nasal water douches.

One day Hans started sneezing blood from his nose. I decided to give Hans a nasal water douche with orange juice. Hans didn't take to well to that idea. The orange juice's high acidity burned Hans sinuses and he started sneezing blood and tissue copiously.

I started giving Hans coconut oil nasal douches and coconut oil orally and half a clove of garlic as a natural antibiotic. I found myself trying out natural medicine for 15 days with no signfifcant improvements as Hans still bled from his nose albeit a very small bleed compared to the amount he bled before the garlic and coconut oil.

I decided enough with natural medicine, I decided to take Hans to a vet to get some stronger antibiotics.

The vet basically prescribed euthanasia. I refused it. He said he could give him antibiotics that could keep him alive from 3 to 6 months.

Vets can be very unreliable with their euthanasia predictions. I have seen vets recommend Euthanasia to a cat that according to the vet would die within some days, that later fully recovered with proper medical treatment.

I refused the euthanasia and took the prescription for the antibitiocs from the vet.

While in the car I noticed Hans was a bit dehydrated so I told my mother who was driving to stop so I could buy some water. She refused to stop until we were home. About 15 minutes away.

I began to administer the antibiotics to Hans and within 5 days he was not sneezing anymore blood.

I decided to give Hans a bit of Lavender oil to calm him down since he was a little stressed out from being inside all day. I read on facebook about someone saying lavender oil is super safe you can apply any amount you want.

I went to my dad's lavender oil supply and prepared a mixture with more than 7 drops of lavender oil for Hans, a 15 pound 14 year old dachshund, I started rubbing it on his paws and ears as mentioned on facebook by the person who had said that lavender oil was safe in any quantity.

Stupidly, I took that as a sign that he didn't want to live. I prepared some lavender oil with way too many drops for his size. When I entered the room, he sat erect for me as if he knew that I was going to put him down so as to show me that he still wasn't ready to leave. The peer pressure had already took its toll on me, I rubbed the lavender on his paws and ears. Immediately I realized, I was making a mistake when I saw his face high on the lavender oil. I started to rub off the lavender oil with soap and water, alas it was too late, I had given him way too much Lavender oil. He gave me one last look at me while I held his very limp body in my eyes, as if saying I am not ready yet, he rolled his eyes back and he was gone. I tried cpr and he came back for a brief moment, he was a young soul I believe, as he was afraid of dying, I could sense his fear when someone spoke of death in front of him. The lavender was too much, he went completely limp this time, he was gone. I cried for him and the thought of him today leaving this dimension for the next not ready still is something that makes me wonder, Hans can you forgive me? I am a complete imbecil. I will remember that everyday of my life.

Then I had this dream that Hans was with other dogs on bridge over a river. I saved the other dogs by picking them up and taking them to safety. Hans stayed on the bridge, I could not save him. What does this all mean?

Thank you,

Kind Regards


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Re: Not being able to save my dog

Very short dream and very difficult to say much about it. It does have to do with Hans but it is about more about you. Here is a possibility.

Although the dream was undoubtedly prompted by the experience with Han's and your inability to save him, in the dream he would represent an important part of you or aspect of your life {one special dog among many dogs}. The fact you could not save Hans {other than the actual experience} could indicate you could not save some valuable part of yourself. That may mean there is an inner conflict within yourself to do with betrayal and untrustworthy, personality issues or learned experiences from early life. You may be feeling this way about yourself because you feel you betrayed Hans and you are not trustworthy. But that would likely point to deeper issues to do with your whole self and life. The experience with Hans would have stoked these deeper issues and the dream would be the device that attempts to help you realize these issues and hopefully find a way to resolve them {dreams are nature's device to protect the psyche much like the immune system is to the body}.

Bridges usually represent a transition, going from one phase to another in life or some other aspect to do with the 'dogs'. You are approaching that mid-life stage and this may be a prelude to the transition of that stage. At mid-life we begin to look back {if not consciously then unconsciously} to find a reason for who we are and what life is about {large bodies of water often symbolize unconscious contents}. The dogs would be your emotions and the bridge is a connection to unconscious contents to conscious understanding. You are able to 'save' the positive aspects that make up your life but there is at least one {we all have at least one} aspect that is in conflict. Betrayal and untrustworthy may be those aspects, being a part of your total self or/and feelings you have toward others {which, if involve parents may be issues you grew up with and are a part of your personality traits}. The fact Hans is left on the bridge {metaphorically speaking} may suggest there are aspects about yourself {possibly to do with betrayal and trustworthiness} that need to be left behind {from one stage to the next, young adult to mid-life}. It is you who picked up the 'other dogs' and saved them and it is you would will have to find solutions and resolution to these emotional issues.

Good chance you are having feelings of being untrustworthy and you betrayed Hans. These are strong emotions, losing a loved friend and companion {animal or person}. But dreams always have at least two meanings/applications and your dream probably points to deeper issues {loyalty, betrayal, trustworthiness as good possibilities} within you. If there are such issues there is a good chance you know of them. Parental relationships may have a lot to do with it, or early life issues that involved emotions associated with betrayal and trustworthiness. These early life experiences/influences could form a part of your foundations to personality and affect who you are as an adult {unconscious motivators}. Look deep into yourself and see if these characteristics fit you or/and people in your life. Because Hans {you} stayed on the bridge would be an indication these associations have a direct impact on you as an adult. Read my page A Simple Guide to Dreams to get a better understanding how dreams functions {psychological}.


Do not feel obligated to contribute. This is strictly voluntary and does not affect your ability to post your dreams for analysis....Jerry

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