I have kind of an idea of what it is about but i would really like another perspective because there are certain parts I am really confused about. I have been reading jung for a few years now but I am just recently beginning to try to understand my own so any insight would be much appreciated.

In my dream about 15 other people and I were playing baseball in a weird dome. It was shaped like a piece of 1/4 of a pie. In baseball there's only supposed to be 9 people in the field, but there were 15 of us and instead of being in normal positions we were all in the same spot. And everyone was normal height except this one really tall boy who seemed very nice and very sweet, but mentally retarded. I remember having kind of a soft spot for him and thinking he was cute in a puppy dog kind of way. We were all in the 2nd baseman position and the rest of the field was left wide open. We were playing against a team we didn't like. Right before the ball was hit I remember seeing a boy I've never seen before, but I think I knew him in the dream, but I distinctly remember thinking how badly I needed to do well and impress him. The ball was hit and the tall special boy on my team got the ball and I had to run to 2nd base so my team mate could throw me the ball because the girl who hit was going there and I needed to get her out. The throw to me was an overthrow and for some reason the runner running to 2nd turned around and caught the ball. I was extremely shocked and outraged and I started screaming "obsruction!, Obstruction!" I was really hyped up for some reason but everyone else seemed pretty calm about it. I felt kind of stupid and embarrassed in front of that boy.

Some background:
I've played softball from the age of 4 til my freshman year of college, so being in a baseball dome playing baseball reminds me of basically my childhood and how things were before. I think I have 15/9 like I have what I need but I'm somehow not using it correctly. The retarded boy I think represents an immature part of myself that's weakness is hindering me in some way. I thought it was funny that I thought he was puppy dog cute because I get irritated when people call me cute. And I think me trying to impress my maybe animus was me trying to impress the masculine part of myself, but not really having it developed at all possibly?

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nmarin,
All dreams have at least two meanings/applications and I see this with your dream. Usually one application points to recent experiences while another goes to the deeper issues. I sense your dream may involve recent experience{s} {which may have been a stimulus for the dream} but the deeper issues are the primary focus. In analyzing dreams I look for distinct patterns of behavior {primarily emotional} with all the parts fitting together to produce recognizable patterns that fit the conscious life {which only you can verify}. The additional info you provided in your post does seem to fit in with my analysis but what I sense does go to the deeper issues that have to do with personality. I do think there are personality issues involved and although such issues go back to childhood experiences/influences, and while your dream points to a time frame from your youth, my sense that period was a beginning of awareness on your part {involving the issues that are at the core of inner/outer conflict}. Rather than one experience {5th grade} possessing emotional energies that were life altering I see it as a learning experience about yourself that was the beginning of an awareness to do with your personality/life. And this does seem to be the primary focus of the dream, an awareness of your true self and a need to fulfill that. In your waking life you may be over compensating for what you believe is a need to be something more than your true self. Wholeness comes about only when you are your true self.

Here is how I 'read' your dream. As with any dream a good analysis can only see along the periphery with actual waking experiences {that may have occurred prior to the dream} being known only to you. Look at my analysis to see how it may fit with your actual life and your true self.

Analysis
You are 'going against the grain' in attempting to achieve unmet goals/aspirations. This is likely an internal experience but could also involve actual experiences in your conscious life {recent experience{s] prior to the dream}. You have achieved many of the goals but there unmet desires that keep you from total fulfillment/achievement. I sense 'personality' aspects or qualities are involved. These are 'soulful' issues {number 9} that involve personal/conscious success {6}. Resolving the personality aspects may lead to fulfillment of your soul and allow you to achieve the conscious success you seek.

Life has progressed pretty much as planned but there are aspects that have caused doubt {the masculine qualities you listed}. These may involve aspects that you have ignore {personality wise}. You are totally focused on one aspect and have ignored everything else {achieving outer goals without allowing the inner self/true self to blossom}. You are 'playing against yourself' which suggests conflict between inner qualities {which require resolution} and outer achievements. This would involve internal conflicts between feminine {emotional} and masculine {objective} aspects, aspects you are probably unaware of {unconscious motivators}. There may also be actual waking experiences where you as a female are seen as less than a male {have to do more to be impressive}. To achieve the unmet goals you attempt to utilize both aspects {feminine/masculine-emotional/objectivity} but the 'feminine' aspects need to be 'gotten out'. This may speak to being both 'feminine' and 'masculine' in your approach to reaching your goals, an awareness/admitting the personality issues as the feminine and objective thinking in your waking life as the masculine. Playing both roles {consciously} may have been impressive at times but it takes you out of your natural environment {you are not your true self}. You may be over compensating, attempting to possess and utilize masculine aspects {outer achievement} over true qualities which results in even more emotional conflict. This causes internal turmoil that obstructs your path to wholeness. This is the one aspect that is at the center of the internal conflict and because of it you feel it is a weakness of character. There is an inner 'obstruction' that needs to be realized and understood. I sense this has to do with personality and/or natural qualities.

Summary
I am getting impressions of a pattern of awareness you may not be opening up to {often I sense something in a dream but can not put a finger on exactly what it is}. You may be so hyped about outer achievements you have ignored important inner aspects, aspects of your true self that need to be understand and which will lead to wholeness and outer success. The pattern that stands out is boy vs girl, masculine vs feminine. Impressing the masculine is the goal within the dream which may translate in impressing upon yourself aspects of personality aspects you need to be aware of and/or open up to. This is not something I can ascertain from the dream, only you the dreamer can speak to what the actual conflicts are.

If you will provide feedback to my analysis we may be able to gain more insights to the dream message. It also provides will help in understanding the possibilities of dream images and their interpretation. I like to think of the Dream Forum as a learning place with every dream providing new material that helps us understand how dreams function.

Jerry

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Thank you for your response. It was very insightful. I can definitely see the masculine vs. feminine in me. I was into Jungian typology for a couple years and I always knew i was an IP, but i really wavered between the feeling and thinking types. I feel like i have been aware of the feminine vs masculine in myself for a while. I do a lot. I work part time and go to school full time, i try to make time for things i consider more feminine such as playing the piano and writing. When I was younger I think i was kind of ditsy though. I would just talk without thinking sometimes and then be really irritated which is a lot of the reason i did develop my intellectual side.
I am not sure which goals I am following internally. In my spare time lately I have been reading Jung and trying to understand my dreams.

The night that i had this dream I was under stress because I had a physics test the next day. I am a science major and I would relate that a lot to my masculine side. I am about half way through meeting my major requirements to graduate. Outwardly I feel like this can align to something that the dream is referencing.

I had another dream in the same night. do you think they could somehow be related?:

I was standing in a hall with two doors. One was locked and my boyfriend was inside. I think he was upset, like crying on the bed but he had dead bolted the door. The other one was also locked and i think it was mine and his room. Then all of a sudden a man in dark clothes started trying to break into the room we share. I noticed right away and I began yelling for my boyfriend and beating on the door telling him to come out and do something because someone is trying to break into our room, but there was still no response. The man finally broke into our room. He only grabbed the air soft gun and he began to shoot me on what seemed like an automatic setting. I asked him why he was shooting me and he said because he wants lower prices.

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nmarin,
You have two choices, both that need to be opened and better understood. One is the masculine which you prefer and utilize the most. But there is conflict with this masculine self, aspects of which you do not understand/realize. This masculine aspect is in need of assistance from the feminine {to create balance}. Then there is the feminine which you have to share and probably submissive/inferior to/with the masculine. This causes problems in accessing these a balance. Unconsciously there needs to be a break through in accessing the shared aspects. The masculine aspects which you prefer are not helpful in times of great need. The preferred masculine aspects causes inner conflict and produces a 'mechanical' attitude. This attitude is the source of lower 'values' which may point to not being able to be your true self because of a too strong of masculine qualities.

Summary
There is something I can't put my finger on about your dreams. I do believe it has to do with personal aspects that only you would be able to point to. from my analyzing of your first dream i stated this: I sense 'personality' aspects or qualities are involved. These are 'soulful' issues {number 9} that involve personal/conscious success {6/15}. I believe this is a central theme of the dream, the inner conflict your dreams are trying to help resolve. Something prevents you from being your true self {a norm in most of us} and until you discover what this is and begin to use it in your waking life there will remain an imbalance.


My sense of this dream is you are too reliant on your masculine qualities and do not utilize the feminine as you should. Utilizing the feminine would create balance and harmony in your life. These feminine aspects may the inner self in an overall focus in life but may also be addressing pressures of your 'chosen' science education {perhaps this is the preferred masculine/boyfriend}. More important it says a lot about your personality which I sense is focused too much on a the animus which may be due to early life experiences/influences. Personality qualities are partially inherent but many are brought about from early life experiences/influences and become motivators for personality and actions as an adult. Something is causing a a too strong masculine self and this causes inner conflict {if not outer} and prevents a balanced psyche.

Look at your personality and determine why it is so strong and what about it causes an under- used/developed feminine and prevents a balanced psych. You stated in your original post you played softball up until you were freshman year in college. What caused you to like/play softball and why did you stop playing? What about it reminds you of your childhood? Tying these together may bring out the unconscious reasons for conscious attitudes that need a balanced feminine ingredient.

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I really played softball in college because of my parents. I liked it when I started and I do miss the physical aspects of the game, but it became too tedious.College softball made me feel like I was in the military. I did not have time for anything. I could barely afford gas to get there because I was only able to work one day a week. I liked it in the beginning. My dad coached me since I was 8 till about 18. I when I started I was awful and he really made me a good player. I loved it for a while. I was probably the best out of all the girls my age in my town when I was younger. I would play on an 18+ league when I was 13. High school is probably when it started to irritate me. I felt by college I had out grown it.

It reminds me a lot of my unused potential. I feel like I could have and should have been great with my foundation, but I lacked follow through somehow. When I think of softball though I think a lot of my dad. I know he mostly wanted me to continue playing for himself. He enjoyed bragging about my playing and he loved to coach me. He still coaches my old team. He's in charge of the entire league now. I did enjoy it but I felt like it was kind of his thing and I was just there to be showcased.

Do you think that my science education is only motivated by my animus? Or it could be showing me that I have potential but it could end up how softball did for me, with me getting bored and becoming unsatisfied. playing softball could possibly be what made my masculine side strong. My father always pushed me to be the leader on the team. Whenever there was someone new he would dub me in charge of integrating them into the group. Softball also definitely brought out my competitive side. I remember thinking, "it doesn't matter who's on the other team but when we're on the field we are enemies." We can be friends after the game.

Did you say you think it has something to do with 5th grade in your first post? I will try to do some digging if you think doing so would help us find what the dream is referring to but it is hard for me to remember much at all from 5th grade. besides having a teacher that I did not like. and that was the year my best friend who lived down the street from me k-5 moved out of state. She and i were inseparable until she moved.

also I have read most of your articles, but i have been trying to figure out. what can i do consciously to bring out and develop my feminine side more?

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nmarin,
I'll provide a detailed response Sunday morning.

Jerry

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Thank you

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20/female illinois

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nmarin,
Let's go over my analysis {both responses} with your response in mind and see what we come up with.

Analysis: You have two choices, both that need to be opened and better understood. One is the masculine which you prefer and utilize the most. But there is conflict with this masculine self, aspects of which you do not understand/realize.

Further Analysis: Perhaps it should read the masculine which was pushed on you instead of what you prefer. This may be one conflict with the masculine and that may have deprived you of your true feminine values. Pushing yourself to please others {a masculine aspect} may be a trait that has become as unconscious stimulus and it could cause you to replicate actions you feel important because of what others expect and ignore what you truly like/want. Is science a subject you really love or is it something less than that and not the important thing in life?

Analysis: This masculine aspect is in need of assistance from the feminine {to create balance}. Then there is the feminine which you have to share and probably submissive/inferior to/with the masculine. This causes problems in accessing these a balance. Unconsciously there needs to be a break through in accessing the shared aspects.

Further Analysis: This would fit with the above added analysis. Because of expectations from your father and possibly others your masculine side was how you lived as a younger person {up until college when you began to break away from family and go on your own}. This masculine side was forced on you and because of that your feminine self was ignored. Now as you grow older and become aware of what your true self wants the feminine needs to be integrated into who you are. That would translate into doing what you really love to do and not abiding what others want. Your feminine aspects has been submissive to the masculine causing an imbalance.

Analysis: Unconsciously there needs to be a break through in accessing the shared aspects. The masculine aspects which you prefer are not helpful in times of great need. The preferred masculine aspects causes inner conflict and produces a 'mechanical' attitude.

Further Analysis: When I say unconscious it refers to the energies that motivate you to act as you do/have and contribute you your personality. The environment in which you were raised {doing what others wanted} are unconscious motivators and to remedy what is out of balance there needs to be a conscious recognition of the unconscious energies. That is what we are doing by analyzing/interpreting your dreams.

Analysis: This attitude is the source of lower 'values' which may point to not being able to be your true self because of a too strong of masculine qualities.

Further Analysis: The masculine has ruled your life, figuratively in how your psyche has developed from early life experiences and literally in your father pushed you to play softball. As a child you were enjoying playing and possibly may have had a good relationship with your father because of it {having a close relationship of any kind is positive} but as you grew older your true self began to exert itself. The feminine aspects are often opposite the masculine but more than that the feminine includes the creative aspects. Is science a 'creative' endeavor where you truly enjoy learning about it or is it something again forced on you? Often the early life experiences become unconscious motivators and lead to repeated 'mistakes'. You do things unconsciously and we do so until you either grow out of it {some we do, many we don't} or realize there are unconscious energies that motivate you. Is your science education motivated by your animus or is it a subject you really love? If it isn't something you really like doing then it is likely motivated by the influences from early life which would be centered in the animus.

Analysis: My sense of this dream is you are too reliant on your masculine qualities and do not utilize the feminine as you should.

Further Analysis: I still think this to be true and a central message of the dream. We know the reasons for this {forced to play softball, perform masculine tasks}. As a child it was fun but as an adult it isn't the true you. The true self is to be found in a balanced psyche but contrary to popular belief it is the feminine aspects that are superior {because it is the creative/spiritual}. As I stated in my original analysis these are soulful issues {the number nine in Greek mythology is symbolic the feminine and the soul} and you must overcome the physical/psychological impulses {the number six relates to the body}. You ahve ignored {was pushed to do so} the feminine side and take on a masculine attitude which is not your true identity. The inner qualities to do with your true self must be realized and utilized. This will bring about balance and true harmony in later life. The boy vs girl is the masculine psyche vs the feminine psyche.

Analysis: Rather than one experience {5th grade} possessing emotional energies that were life altering I see it as a learning experience about yourself that was the beginning of an awareness to do with your personality/life.

Further Analysis: You may want to look back at this time period and see if there are experiences that are relevant to the masculine attitude vs the feminine. Your close girlfriend leaving may have been a 'big' event in it left a void in your feminine psyche {your gf relationship brought the feminine out}. When you she left it could have been on lasting stimulus for your feminine self. That could be the experience {if indeed it is true} the dream was speaking to. You need to bring that gf back into your life {figuratively speaking, the inner gf}.

Summary
I believe my original analysis{es} were proper from what you added in your comments. As I stated I can only see along the periphery/outlines of a dream with any exact experiences being known only by the dreamer. An over reliance on the masculine and ignoring the feminine. The first was forced on you {even though you liked it for a long while when you were younger} and now the feminine is wanting to be noticed. What to do to bring out this feminine side? Be your true self and don't let the unconscious motivators get in the way. Don't let others dictate what you should do in life, do what your soul wishes for. Is science something you really like {it can involve creativity}? Or is it another experience of doing what others expect or what you think is important because of a too strong animus? Choose number 9 over number 6 {these numbers have archetypal associations related to mythology and the natural psyche}, the true self over what the body wants or thinks it wants {including those pushed on you}.

Jerry

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Thanks Jerry. This explains a couple other dreams I've had too. Thank you for taking the time to do a detailed analysis it really helped me.

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