Traveler,
Your response does confirm much of what I sensed from your dream. Being a short dream it didn't include all you wrote about and where it left off gave me an impression there was still work to be done {was there more to the dream than you posted?}. The early age experiences are extreme. Often sexual tendencies at such an early age would be the result of sexual contact/molestation. Of course it could be at such an early age you do not remember if were such experiences {children begin to have memories at age 5}. If there were not any early life sexual experiences then there could be neurological issues.

The spider in your dream could have been the sexual energies that came at you as well as the relationship with the girl. Both had strong emotional 'fangs'. The relief you found in psychedelic mushrooms could have temporally relieved any neurological issues {they may contain properties that are beneficial} But because you are now wavering it may indicate they were only temporary.

In general the dream left off with the issues continuing to coming at you. Taking more drugs isn't the answer. Therapy would be. I am a strong advocate of Jung's Individuation Process {http://www.powerofdreams.net/individuation.html} and because you do seem to have a deep sense of inner sanctum it may work for you {it revealed my deep emotional issues caused by my father relationship and changed my life and led me to my intuitive ability to understand Jungian psyche and dreams}. It is a long, tough road but it may be something that will work for you. If not then professional therapy would be the recourse.

Have you had any recent dreams that may provide insights to where your true self is in the present. If indeed you are wavering {this dream left me with an impression issues still remain} then a more recent dream may shed light on where you are in your journey/life. Because all dreams are educational I would ask that you post it at the Dream Forum. If you would attempt to post the response you sent in this e-mail at the forum also so others can see how the images represent the actual conditions in your life. Let's hope the wavering is not permanent and you find your way to long term healing.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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