Dream 3/5/2015

First, I've had this dream before, when I was about 12 or so, and again when I was 14. Each time it played out different and the “Rooms” were different. Today I had it three times in a row in a way.

The first time, I was mostly on my own and I died at some point, but without actually dying. I just kind of restarted. The second time, I was more in control than my dream self was, so I kind of cheated by looking into a room by climbing on the walls (a bush wall - those green bushes that are usually cut into a square or rectangle shape. Oh! Like the wall in Over the Hedge) before ever going inside. Surprisingly, nothing was sent after me. I thought the gamemakers would strike me down, but not until I had this thought:

“I wonder how I can leave this dream. I don't want to leave it right as I'm dying... so maybe I'll start now.”

That was me thinking it, not my dream-self. And the moment I thought that, birds flew in and started attacking me, so I had to keep cutting them down. I think I lost, because then we restart and get to here...

Now, there are 4 people. A small Latino-like kid, about 13 I'd say, dark hair, I'll call him Max. He looked like a Max to me. Then there was a somewhat slender, dirty-blonde girl, taller than me so about 5'9 tall. She'll be Heidi, and the black guy, about 6'0 tall, he'll be Terri. There is also Random Guy (RG) and Kid With Dog (KWD).

So, I start off in a big room. I'm half conscious that I'm in a dream, so there's me thinking, and then there's Me thinking. Me knows that “we're” in the room because we're going to be used for violent, and gruesome entertainment, but we' don't actually know how it got started, how it's allowed, etc. It was never explained in the other times I had the dreams, either. We always just started in this big room.

For this dream, being in the third “try”, I'm mostly in control. I know this game, I know what to expect, and I'm going to win no matter what now. **** the gamemakers, I'm not scared. That was my attitude, so, when were in the “Main Room”, this woman walked in. She selected our names and we were called to start the game soon. We would be given 5 minutes to ready our things.

I realize that I didn't prepare my venture bag before then while everyone else did, so I'm rushing around with the last bit of starting resources. Bandages, some food, and some knives no one caught. 2 knives, that is. I tie one on my left hand, sharp end down so that it's really easy to do a stab-down motion. The other knife, I tie to my hand so that it's best for a slashing kind of motion.

If there had been a bow, a sword, a gun available, would I have grabbed them? I don't think so, because in dreams, I have an affinity for knives.

Room 1:

There were many doors, and each kid took different doors. I took one on the far left. This is a big room full of grass, trees in the corners, plants along the walls, and one sliding-door per each wall, but they also have this closet look to them. You know, those cheap old sliding doors for your closet in a house or an apartment. I know what the room will have. These crazy-looking, tall, somewhat slender monkey-ape ****s tumble out of of the 'closet' and come after me. I've gone through this Room before in the 1st Dream, so I stab them to death pretty easily. I'm trying to ready some things in my backpack, but then another ape thing comes out and tries to kill me. I kill it, and on the intercom a lady says: 'After two minutes, the room will reset. The clock starts as soon as you kill the last monster.'

Room 2:

I go into a hall and meet KWD. He's about 10 years old and he has a dog. He's freaking out because his dog refuses to go into the next room. The door is still closed and the dog just runs around and barks at it. He's taking it as a sign that it's really horrible because, Survival 101? Always listen to the animals! He takes another door, and for whatever reason I take the door that the dog was barking at. I feel like KWD died though because I never saw him again.

There was nothing in it. It looked a lot like Room 1, but I really don't remember anything being in it. I don't do anything for my backpack and I'm constantly ready for a surprise attack just in case. I do believe something happened, and during the attack Max, Heidi, Terri, and RG come in. They help me kill the creatures, whatever they are, and we go on. We aren't actually supposed to stick together, but it's much more comforting when we do.

Room 3:

We walk into the room and there's this cage around us. I go through it with RG, but I get caught in a trap and hung upside down by my ankle. These two, 7'0 tall creatures are running after RG. They look almost like yetis, or big foot. Just nastier and meaner and more scary. They're tumbling after him and he can't run back into the cage, because the other three people lock it, not wanting to face the creatures. I call him over to me so that the creatures will come, and reach down far enough to slit both of their necks with a quick slash, and they drop dead. But RG tripped in his panic and hit his head against the floor too hard, so he's dead.

More of the monsters start coming and since I'm the only one there, they try to reach me. I have to grab the rope that's holding me to get myself higher. For some reason I can't cut it, so I keep screaming at the other kids to help, because whether I'm dead or not, they will have to eventually come out and face the creatures. They come out, and two of them attack the creatures while the other tries to get me down.

The monsters die and I'm free so, we go to the next room to avoid a reset. Even though we're actually pretty **** tired.

Room 4:

This room is ******* filled with zombie-looking people. We're all freaked, because there was never a room so filled with so many things to kill. There was a room like this in 1st dream, so I just go in and start stabbing them in the head, because they look like zombies and killing the brain is a surefire way of not having to stab them repetitively. The others start attacking them too, but then they all start to crowd me and back away and they keep screaming about past things. Eventually we realize that somehow these zombie-things force you to think about whatever tragedy happened in your past, and will kill you if you're depressed or have suicidal thoughts. I don't, so I'm fine. Terri overcomes it fast, and Heidi is more ****** off and infuriated than anything else so she just tries to kill everything. However, a certain amount of them are “assigned” to us, so only those they're assigned to can kill them.

Max is having the biggest problem. He's depressed, feels like killing himself, and can't get over how he is to blame for his mother's death. He backs up against a wall and keeps screaming about how he can't do it, and the ones coming after him, I stab to slow them down. One grabs Max and holds him against the wall and asks, “Do you want to die?” It waits for Max to answer, and the kid ends up deciding he doesn't want to. So the zombie thing starts to walk away, but is holding my wrist, so I stab it in the head and it dies. We almost feel like all hugging each other... but we're frenemies, so we can't. Oh, my knives fell off and broke, too, at some point.

Room 5:

We walk into a small, white room. There is a cabinet, a table, a little girl, a man dressed like a scientist (completely silent I think?), and someone else. I find a bloody piece of mirror in the cabinet (nothing else was in it) and look at the little lolita girl and she explains.

“That's the mirror I killed Mommy and Daddy with.” She starts on about a story I can’t remember, but here, the dream ends. I didn’t end it on my own because I was really interested and I wanted to know what in the world this girl would lead to so it just… ended on its own.



_-_-_-_-_



Posting this because I think it may help and because I'm really confused now (more so than usual) and looking for some clarity.


Sorry for the language. I wrote it with the attitude I had during the dream, basically. I typed it up as soon as I woke at the time. I completely forgot I ever had a dream like this and that I had saved it somewhere.


I had not watched, nor watched anything remotely similar, to Hunger Games at the time (meaning a day or week prior to the dream). But I have seen it before awhile back and I got a Hunger Games feeling from the dream (hence the title… not that anyone really cares why the titled is named that way).


Keep in mind none of the people in my dreams actually had names. I just named them after the dream was over. And none of the ages were mentioned, it’s just what age I thought they looked to be.








My take on the dream:


The first time I was pretty much on my own and I died. I think this could point to how I may be trying to “make it through” with just one part of me, like the part of me I pay most attention to and like the most. And because of that I died (therefore the other people I was with must be aspects of me).

I can’t really say what the second “version” was, when I climbed up on the wall and thought to myself to end the dream because I feel like I disturbed the dream. When I wanted to get away, maybe I subconsciously knew the dream was telling me about things I don’t want to deal with, and because I was trying to escape and because the need to fix whatever problems the dreams was trying to show me was urgent, I was prevented from leaving or… I don’t know, scolded, for the idea?

I don’t know what the appearance of the characters in my dream could mean. But “Max” could have been 14 instead of 13. I did say 13 is what he looked like, but maybe he was 14, which would make a little more sense because 14, after we moved and I experienced school for the first time ever, was when I pretty much had my identity crisis. I don’t know *what* aspects of me the characters could be but I do feel they are parts of me. Like Heidi, who is always mad, would be my personified anger. Terri would be some sort of masculine aspect. He’s tall and well built and everything, so I imagine fairly intimidating? And people find me extremely intimidating and scary even though, in my opinion, I think I exert a rather welcoming and sweet, although very quiet and laid-back exterior…

The woman who walked in and picked names and everything may have been me picking out the best “survival” aspects of myself. The parts of my personality that will best equip me for what lies ahead, so I’m going in prepared. (However, we all take different paths, so often, I lose track of these aspects and they get lost in the fray, or maybe they get “lost” because I change my mind last second —— self-doubt?).

Me not having my backpack and ready and everything may be because of my reluctance to start what I know is ahead, OR, if the backpack represents baggage/things weighing me down, then it’s me wanting to start things from the beginning and without the baggage but the thing is, I need that baggage because it also stands for experience. And I can’t just go into things forgetting about the past.

I asked about what knives in my zombie dreams meant and you said they stand for the need to cut away the problems, basically, so I’m going to stand by that as the reason for my picking two knives. Usually I only have 1 knife in a dream at a time, never two, so maybe this was more dire? Which would also explain why those birds came in and attacked me to prevent me from leaving?

Room 1…

The doors always have a closet-door look to them. So I’m thinking of when you’re a kid and you think, “There’s a monster in my closet.” So when the ape-monsters stumble out, it’s basically all of the negative things from my past. This is the first room, so maybe the first room is the “start”, when I was youngest? When I tried to ready some things in my backpack I was trying to “secure myself”, but a monster came out. I did kill the monster, but this shows that there’s no chance to ever feel secure and there’s no rest, either, because the room resets. These problems are persistent and they’re going to keep coming back to me.

Room 2…

KWD is about 10 years old and has a dog. I think I was 10, when suddenly I had woken up one day and was overcome with this strange calmness. I was still hopeless, I didn’t think I would get anywhere in my life, but… I was okay with that. It was basically me going, “Life sucks. It’s not going to get better. I can cry about it and be depressed but that’s not going to change life, but it will change how I experience it. So if I’m calm and I just go through this, without freaking out, I’ll have a much better experience. This isn’t going to change anything that is happening, I’m still going to be stuck in this place, and Dad’s never going to change, but whatever.” From there on it felt like none of it really got to me. It was also the time I started writing, and everything I was writing was pretty dark and extreme. It was kinda like my dreams really and not things that kids should be writing but it was therapeutic. But maybe the “calmness” was actually more like… carelessness? A dead kind of thing because, KWD is freaking out. So maybe when I was 10 and felt like everything didn’t matter but I was calm about it I was actually still freaking out, but I had repressed it so much I had no idea. The dog… might be my cat? I always loved animals. Animals mean the world to me and somewhere in the time when I was 10, my father finally caved and allowed the family to get a cat. She was supposed to be a family cat but we both got attached to each other and she pretty much made herself my cat. She was like my “saving grace” (I despised myself back then, too. I knew kids weren’t supposed to think the way I do but I had some of the most insane thoughts, I thought I was messed up and should die because of it) in a way. So the dog is warning KWD about the danger in Room 2. My cat is extremely protective of me, just like the dog of KWD’s is. KWD listens to the dog and doesn’t choose Room 2.

But I do, so… I don’t know what to make of that. I think it’s me and my attempts to tackle the problems head on - for the sake of younger me (KWD). I dont’ really know what to say about what’s inside Room 2 and what happens since I don’t remember Room 2 at all, really. But it’s where the other aspects of me come together so it’s finding me again (something similar happened when I had this dream when I was 14 I believe and that would kinda work with the identity crisis thing I think).

Room 3…

The cage we walk into is me imprisoning myself from danger. But then RG and I leave the safety, knowing we have to complete the room. So, RG being me (and then including me), that’s two aspects of me ready to do something but the rest are hanging behind, still scared. That would mean Terri, Max, and Heidi. Terri I’m not sure why he stayed in the cage (but I, in the dream, did decide to go out and bring RG with me so that the other three would be safe so that I could test the room), but Max, being a kid, makes sense. He’s a boy too and back then I wanted to be a boy because my dad didn’t care for girls at all, and they were just all *****s who would get pregnant, in his eyes. He’s scared so of course he won’t go out and face the monsters in the closet. Heidi may be the side of me that was repressed because of my dad’s hatred for women/girls and my wanting to please him. And because of that, hating anything feminine (like hating the wonderful color of pink just because everyone else thinks it’s too girlie), Heidi was constantly mad in my dream, for being ignored/neglected. She stayed in the cage because I still cared about that part of me, but also because that part of me was too scared to come out in general.

I get caught in a trap, probably because I was dumb and I rushed in (being the first to volunteer for danger, etc). So I’m hanging upside down which… I imagine could represent confusion, and well, I’m confused all the time so that makes sense. But this is Room 3 and could also be when I’m older and everything (whereas Room 1 was the beginning), and me hanging upside down after being caught in a trap (after a mistake was made), would be me seeing things in another light/from another perspective (which the mistake allowed me to do).

The monsters, I now realize in looking back on the dream, are bigger than the ones in Room 1. This may because I’m starting to recognize how big the problems/issues are or because they are, in fact, getting bigger. They chase after RG (no idea who he could represent in me - the one with all the mistakes? The goofy one?) and RG wants to get back to safety, the cage, but the others are too scared because, well, they’ll die if they let him in. I call RG over to get the monsters, but he dies because of his clumsiness. So maybe that was me and my realization that I can’t afford mistakes in the situation I am in (the situation I was in, in reality).

But even if I don’t make mistakes, the “monsters” are going to come, regardless. It’s not my fault that they are coming. They try to kill/eat me and the other aspects of me come out because they can’t stand by and do nothing. I think then they’re the kinder aspects of me somehow? The me in this dream, and the me in the zombie dreams, I go out first into danger and everything and I try to protect kids if they show up but I don’t do it with that emotion, I feel? I just… do it. And have fun at times, but it’s not like, “Oh my god, I absolutely have to protect that kid.” It’s an instinctual thing but not done with real concern and care, that I know of. So the three in the cage sacrifice their feeling of safety. The me in the dream is kinda violent and brutal and everything so, maybe it’s the part of me I hated (which I mentioned in the part when I was 10) and that’s why the three in the cage just kind of watched for awhile. They wanted to get rid of RG, the one with the mistakes, and me, the violent one, but when it came down to watching me die they realized they can’t do it alone and I’m not that bad after all.

However, that rope that I couldn’t cut, if I cut it it would have dropped me into the monsters. I couldn’t cut it by myself in my panic to do so. I’m not really sure what that part could mean at all. I’m thinking it’s like this lifeline thing, I’m “hanging by a string here”, but I’m cutting at it carelessly and desperately but it refuses to let me go (into the pit of monsters). I believe the one who had cut me free was Max, the kid, the younger and nicer person of the group while Heidi and Terri prevent the monsters from disturbing Max and I.

We kill the monsters, having overcome the situation together, and continue on. We’re tired, but we’re persevering, constantly moving (restless in a way?) because staying still doesn’t feel safe.

Room 4….

This one puzzles me the most. It feels like it’s the most straightforward and yet I’m not really sure where to start with it.

It’s completely filled with monsters and everything. They look like zombies, dead-like, maybe because of how much I’ve repressed them. But they’re extremely stubborn and even dead they’re still there so there’s no way to get rid of them other than facing them. But there are sets of zombies in the room and each one is assigned to a certain character so… it’s like, out of all of the things that make me, me, I need to basically fix all of it. Because all of me is broken. Each part of me has their different problems and have no choice but to face them. It’s easy for everyone but Max. He feels suicidal about his mother’s death, so… maybe that was my guilt about how my mother was being abused (I also felt if I didn’t stand up soon enough eventually my father would kill my mother and that would be my fault). But I’m not really sure what to make of it or the rest when he decides he doesn’t want to die and all of that.

I lose my knives in this room so… with the knives being a need to cut away things… and then losing them, I either don’t have to anymore? (Which doesn’t make sense because these problems aren’t entirely resolved, dependiing one what the monsters/zombies represent)

But I feel like Room 4 was the preparation for Room 5. So something big had to be in Room 5.

Room 5….

Well this one pretty much confuses me the same now that I’m thinking about it more. The room is small and white. White, blank, things can be done, but the room is small so it’s… like there’s no real space to. And it’s crammed, with what little furniture is inside (the cabinet, the table). The man, I don’t know what he could mean. The little girl has to be me. I’d say the most innocent part of me, she certainly looked to be as innocent as possible, but… she killed her parents? Uhm… what? I don’t know. Maybe she’s… manipulation? Deception? Tainted innocence because she had no other choice? I’m thinking representative of my anger towards both parents (Dad because he was an abusive ***** of course and Mom because, at the time, I was mad about how she “wasn’t doing anything” and I thought the situation was much simpler than it really was). Maybe maintaining the look because it’s a safety thing?


I didn't remember what you said some things could suggest in the other dreams (just the knife), but I didn't want to look it up because I wanted this to be as much of my own interpretation as possible because I read something you said to someone else that trying to interpret one's own dream is really important.

I've been giving it more thought, about how much information I'm willing to share. I'm thinking it doesn't really matter if my family sees this. But I think the problem would be if someone they know, sees this (or rather details I would provide if...), and they're able to connect it to them. I don't know what consequences that would have on them nor I.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18, Female, California

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes - "A Bunch of Zombie Dreams", "May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor"

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes! Definitely.

Anonymous,
Give me a few days to take in all you have provided. A lot of information that will require time to analyze.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Hi,

Thank you for letting me know!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18, Female, California

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes - "A Bunch of Zombie Dreams", "May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor"

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes! Definitely.

Anonymous,
Reading what you posted about the dreams, the people, the rooms and the actions, it is clear the dreams are focused on the severe emotional issues in your life. A lot of it is repetitive but with different type 'demon's attacking you. The zombies, monsters, people/things that try to kill you are the emotional aspects that are in conflict. The kids are aspects of yourself and seem to be pretty much in line with particular ages when you were a kid and issues from those periods of time. What is important is you are aware of what the issues are {as illustrated in the dream language} and how you have been able {thus far} to keep emotional issues {zombies/monsters/etc} from killing you. But the demons keep coming and the question is 'can you continue to successfully fight them off'?

I could break down the images/symbols and give my take but you have done an excellent job in your interpretation {if it fits then it is likely correct}. By analyzing your dreams you are analyzing yourself and being self aware is a powerful tool. But there are unconscious energies at work that even the strongest can not overcome. The issues must be resolved completely, not just knowing what they are but finding ways to remove their influence over you. This will require professional help. Your self knowledge will be helpful but you do need to find a professional who can lead you to wholeness and eventual happiness. It is best to have discovered so early in life there are these unconscious issues. To insure the rest of your life can be normal there is the need of getting to the deepest core of what caused the issues, confronting them and putting them in a place where they no longer have control over you {you will never be able to forget but you can remove their control}. I hope you will seek help. If you can not afford it there are resources available for that. You are an intelligent person and I have no doubt you can find help, if you really want it. That may be the real question at this stage, do you really want to? The inner demons are strong and the human mind has ways of thwarting efforts to 'change' what has become the norm {killing someone is symbolic of changing them}. The ego doesn't want change so it is up to the soul to seek it out.

Besides being intelligent and resourceful, I also sense you are a soulful person. This is a true aspect we all possess but few people recognize as a quality that can be a useful tool in our outer lives. Normally it is centered in the creative self, as in writing. A device that allows us to express our deepest emotions, our deepest and true self. Perhaps your writing can be an outlet {along with seeking professional help}. It has been my outlet, my way of expressing what is within {my dream work and web design}. It may be a useful tool for you also.

The only other alternative to professional help is going it alone and continuing your self examination/analysis. This can be done using Jung's Individuation Process but takes time, effort and great discipline. It was my path but I was 42 when I began my journey to wholeness {which led me to my dream work and web design}. Jungian psyche is very 'deep' and requires intense study to master. There must be an inherent ability to understand these concepts and be successful {I am what is considered an 'intuitive Jungian'}. You have already given time to reading and studying dream psyche, can you devote a lot {I mean a lot} more time in learning more about Jung's path to wholeness?

Perhaps the best avenue is to do both, professional help as a well as continuing your own self analyzing. You must do something or the demons will continue to get stronger and stronger. And no matter how strong you are it is a matter of time until something gives. Cutting yourself is a reality if you do not find a way to remove the knives.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Gifford,

I am so sorry that it's taken me this long to respond. I wasn't entirely sure how to respond, because I didn't want to rush to do it, because when I do that, there ends up being a lot of things I want to change and whatnot, since they come off as rude to me. Then I'd think about replying, and end up not doing it, because other things would turn up. I lost somebody, and then almost lost somebody else to suicide. There's been a lot of drama.

Some issues have come to light with the family and, at least from the exterior they present, they are willing to talk about it and maybe even get some help. Individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy. Maybe.

Yes, I write :). I started when I was 10. My imagination was where I lived during my childhood. Lately I've come to a huge writer's block. but I do have a story I'm working on and it's been my salvation for a long time (also my frustration... but most of the time writing is a positive thing). It's actually about fighting your inner-demons, along with some other issues society has that I feel should be addressed. I'm glad that you too found an outlet in writing.

I have not read up on the Jungian perspective anymore since I was last here, but from what I've remembered, it's already helped a lot. Because I am so used to toning things out and disregarding my frustrations, I hardly know what it is anymore that bothers me. Understanding my dreams to a deeper level helps me to address whether or not I actually have an issue with whatever it is I was presented with. I've always trusted my dreams, and now I've made sure to heed them.

Thank you so much for everything, and thank you for doing this for people. I have no doubt you've helped many along the way, and will do so for the many others who will come. I'll recommend anyone uncertain about their dreams to come here.

I might come around again, but I'll try not to bother you and figure the journey out myself

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 19, California

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} "A Bunch of Zombie Dreams", "May the Odds be Ever in Your Favor"

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes! Definitely.