Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
Gerald Gifford {at Forum #1}

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not-good-enough gifts

In this dream, I was outside the house and had packed some things to send to my mother (or mother-in-law?), probably because I remembered it is going to be Mother's Day. There were some different things I'd put in a tall box, sort of a rectangular or triangular tube, but it was only a little more than half full. I was thinking of re-packing it into a smaller box so it didn't look half empty but suddenly I realized I was leaving for somewhere the next day and there was no way I could mail the package. So I asked the person next to me (my ex-husband, it seemed) if he would do it. But he instantly refused, and not in the way of, "sorry, but I'm busy or it won't work for me," but in a "absolutely no way and how dare you even think of asking!" sort of way.

Then later I was upstairs in a room with a big table where I had set out some food to share, it seemed, some of the things in the package I had tried to send earlier. There were a few people with me, maybe some relatives, even my grandparents perhaps, and the food was on plates, and the smoked salmon was what everyone was taking. But I felt bad because there wasn't that much and anyway mine was just store-bought whereas almost anyone else would have unlimited quantities of salmon that they caught and put up themselves. I thought about the contents of that half-full box and just felt bad that whenever I wanted to give or share something it always seemed lacking in some way.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/Female/Alaska

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Re: not-good-enough gifts

Jaime,
I had actually worked on this dream late yesterday morning but could not put my finger on the exact meaning {assuming I am correct in my analysis}. But as usual the morning hours gave me a fresh perspective and I saw a flow to the dream I believe will provide insights to its intended message.

Analysis
I believe the dream has to do with aspects related to 'mothers' that define your instinctual nature as well as general experiences you have had in dealing with mothers {mother/mother-in-law}. In what should have been aspects of aspirations, potential and wholeness there are limitations to these experiences. No matter how to package them your life remains half full when it comes to mothers. Although there are aspects to these relationships that are left unsaid or undone {perhaps both} you refrain from saying anything or having the ability do anything {related to your own mothering instincts}. There are likely inner aspects to do with your animus/masculine qualities that prevent you from saying anything. That is one reason why your ex-husband is in the dream {he represents your weak masculine qualities} although it may be a statement about his character/personality as well.

There may be aspects related to these 'mother' relationships you wished you could share {how you really feel?}. But you are lacking in aspects to do with self worth {a result perhaps of inadequate mothering} although you wish you could give more of yourself you lack the ability to do so.

Summary
My sense of the dream there are mother issues as well as past mother-in-law issues. Because of these issues {especially from early life} you lacked good role models in mothering. The lack of good role models has caused self esteem issues within you and you wish you were able to better present yourself in this aspect. When it comes to 'mother relationships. the box {which represents wholeness/harmony/ as well as proper instinctual attitude} is half full.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: not-good-enough gifts

Dear Jerry,

Yes this seems right. It lines up with the main theme of my past 2-1/2 years of therapy, which is that my relationship with my mother was lacking from my earliest life -- due to issues and past losses which she herself had, not through "intentional" neglect or abuse. Even though it seems so obvious to me it is still hard for me to grasp all the ramifications of this deficient relationship in my life, the quality of the deficiency in this relationship being all-pervasive yet very subtle almost undetectable. Similar to the dream, which made me feel small and miserable when I woke up and I just wanted to forget about it and for it to go away. I'd be thinking, I should forget this, it was just a dream -- but then I'd remember that dreams are real and this dream though brief and not very dramatic had a very real quality to it. Your use of the dream's symbolism in the explanation help me to understand more about the ways in which the dream was real, for example, "being unable to say or do something." I very often struggle with feelings of powerlessness -- even though I am healthy, competent, well-educated, etc. The "weak masculine" too has come out during my therapy and goes against the self-image I had for almost all my adult life. But then too, my real life ex-husband was abusive.

I do keenly feel and understand what you interpreted as, "in what should have been aspects of aspirations, potential and wholeness there are limitations to these experiences." And also, "you are lacking in aspects to do with self worth ... although you wish you could give more of yourself you lack the ability to do so." All the more so as I get older and the hopes, aspirations, even fantasies, that kept me going when I was younger have been shown to be substanceless or evaporated like dew off the grass. But perhaps greater strength will come with knowing what is true.

Thank you for your insight and your service.

Jaime

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 59/Female/Alaska

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} yes

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