Alight I woke up from a strange dream that I can't seem to figure out on my own, and would like some help.

First, the dream was about my ex, and his current girlfriend, and me. I would like to note that I always have dreams about his ex, and even had a dream about him BEFORE we met. His current girlfriend I started having dreams about before he actually started dating her (and I have never actually met her). Also I would like to note that this guy I have had dreams of since I was a child, but didn't meet him til one year ago.

ANYWAYS... In the dream I told his current girlfriend that he was cheating on her (which I am not sure he actually has, but he has called me once A LONG TIME AGO to try to cheat on her). She became upset, and was going to leave him. My ex's mother told me that I did the right thing, and that her son needed to learn how to treat women, and that she wasn't mad.

Then we were in his room, and I was grabbing my things (and his new "girlfriend" was already gone). I was grabbing things like blankets (which I never left at his house). During this time he was telling me that he didn't want her to leave him before he got home because she took everything. He didn't seem upset that she had left him, more that she took all of his things along with hers.

Then when I was grabbing blankets that were in a dirty pile I saw a pair of white boxers that had been soiled (with poop). For some reason I thought that they were MY boxers, and he was embarrassed that I had found them. He explained how he had soiled them, and I just listened, and wasn't mad that he had soiled them.

I woke up shortly afterwards, and was rather shaken by the dream. Actually even so much so that I woke up, and puked. My mind was still rather foggy, and even now (an hour after waking up) I feel sort of out of it.

What could this dream mean?

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25/Female/Colorado Springs

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Anonymous,
First let me state that all the characters in the dream are you except your ex-bf {in some aspects he represents you also, your animus}. The actions are more or less how you feel about and treat yourself.

My sense of the dream is you have a personality that needs attention from others {brought about by a lack proper love and affection in childhood} and you tend to compromise who you really are {cheating yourself} to receive this attention {did this with your ex-bf}. The underlying tendencies stem from childhood experiences where your mother was not treated properly and this carries over to you in relationships. This was the case in the relationship with your ex-bf. You still have these emotions but you cover up your true self because of the need for attention. You tend to blame yourself {as your mother did} for ending the relationship. Blaming yourself is a hidden/unconscious weakness you possess that you need to get rid of. There also may be other, 'private' aspects about the relationship with your ex-bf you blame yourself for.

The reason you felt the way you did when you awoke is because these unconscious tendencies are so strong they make you sick. Either you are becoming aware of these tendencies {compromising yourself} and realize you need to end them or the dream was so true in its depiction of your true self it made you ill.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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I would admit that I blame myself a lot, and maybe I do "cheat" myself. I just am not completely sure that it has to do with my mother. My parents have been together for 36 years, and are very much in love. There are a few times that I think my mom gives up things for herself, so that the relationship will be better, but I also believe that is what it takes to be in a relationship. That you can't be selfish or they never work.

I do blame myself for the relationship ending, and maybe that is were I think I "cheated" myself. Instead of seeing where it goes I just quit talking to him because I was nervous that it would be like all other relationships. I do believe that his mother has a lot more to do with my actual feelings towards his mother. We get along well (I just haven't talk to her in awhile), and I do want her approval if it came to becoming an us later on down the road.

I don't really need attention from other people. I do very well alone, but I do like to know that other people approve of what I do. It is a big thing coming from a large family. If someone doesn't approve of something that you are doing, then you are sure to hear about it. So I have gotten use to living my life doing things that my family will approve of.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25/Female/Colorado Springs

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Anonymous,
I appreciate the response. Although there are differences in my analysis to the terminology you use to describe some aspects of the analysis, the differences are more in terms of description than application. Your mother 'giving up things' so the marriage will be better may be focus of the dream which in mt assessment would be related to foundations for your psyche. Although consciously you state your mother did what was needed to insure a successful marriage, your true self sees it differently. Unconsciously {the true natural self that thrives on balance} you would feel she was giving up too much . You imitated her in your relationship {your ex being much like your father?}. Blaming yourself may be a result of unconscious feelings of being 'cheated' because you gave more than he {as your mother did in her relationship with your father}. While your mother's actions have led to a successful marriage {because she did give up things to make it work} your attempt to do the same failed. This would be the reason you blame yourself for the failed relationship. What you witnessed as a child was a template for your actions as an adult {imitating your mother} and where you believe your mother's actions were appropriate to 'insure' a successful marriage, the fact you failed to do the same would be the reason you blame yourself. There could be unconscious energies where your mother's 'giving' was 'giving too much' of herself and not receiving the same in response from your father. A one sided marriage that is successful because your mother was willing to sacrifice to the marriage. This template did not work for you, you cheated yourself by being your mother when you should have looked for balance in the relationship {both giving equally}. Your mother's success due to her 'one sided giving' is not how most successful marriages survive {as indicated in your failed relationship}

The one word that is recurring in the dream is blankets {warmth, security and protection}. Warmth, security and protection are natural aspects expected in life and in relationships. There could a 'covering up' of the true unconscious motivations {verses to doing as your mother did} and as a template that led to a successful relationship for you. Did you give more to your relationship than your ex? The approval you require {I used the word attention} is something you grew up with {another template}. "I have gotten use to living my life doing things that my family will approve of." This would extend to relationships, doing things that 'he' would approve of to insure the relationship succeeds. But whereas it worked for your mother it did not for you. You blame yourself because unconsciously if not consciously you feel you failed to give enough. The psyche needs/requires balance and giving and not receiving produces an imbalance. There are reasons for attitudes and they always begin in childhood and go from there.

Summary
The problem with the attitudes you have developed {due to the 'templates' from childhood, experiences you saw in your mother's attempts to insure a successful marriage} is they do not fit the 'natural self'. They go against the grain where a truly successful marriage is built on a balanced 'giving' by both partners. Your mother compromised her true self so to insure success, a one sided giving that on the surface has worked {I dare say her deeper self is in turmoil}. But her actions {which you imitated} did not work in your relationship. You blame yourself because you grew up expecting this type attitude would work. Your mother sought approval {her childhood templates} and so do you. Again you blame yourself for not getting the approval you require, the blame is entirely yours and not your ex's.

If we were able to examine your life in-depth I dare say we could get to the exact reasons for the need for approval and reasons for blaming yourself for the failed relationship. When I provide an analysis of a dream I know only the age and gender of the dreamer. To get to as much of the truth as I do/did demonstrates our dreams are revealing our true emotions and not necessarily what is consciously thought of as truth. Plus the fact that all dreams can be properly interpreted {using Jungian psyche}. The overwhelming majority of responses to my analysis of dreams at the Dream Forum are positive {I see your response as positive despite the differences in certain words}. Using dreams to access the unconscious {vs the standard methods} is not only the fastest way but also the most accurate. I have no doubts about this. If the dreamer/patient also believe this then breakthroughs are almost a guaranteed success.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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