Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
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I had a daughter...

So about one week ago I had this dream. At the start of the dream, I was 18 (my current age), and I had a baby girl. I gave her up for adoption because I was still in college and was not ready to have a baby. This part was very brief, then it moves in to the bigger part.

So, fast forward what must have been at least 2-3 years, I was older. I was also in China, on the Great Wall. I was there to adopt back my daughter (which I don't even think is possible/legal! lol). I was meeting her family on the wall. I approached them and my daughter immediately recognized me, she was a toddler (time had passed). She ran to me saying "mommy, mommy." And I called back, "Lumen!" and started crying (this is one of the weirdest parts to me, she actually had a name and I remember it vividly, I remember the whole dream very vividly). Then we were exploring the wall together, she was climbing it and I was right behind her to make sure she was safe. Then we spent the whole together, with an adoption agent who was supervising our first day together. We went to get ice cream, went and toured a garden, and played at a park. The last thing I can recall is that we were in a van the agent was driving and she was bringing us to the airport to go back to the USA.

Normally, I like to analyze my dreams by myself, write about the more interesting ones in a journal, but I need help with this one. This dream has stuck with me over the week. I think about it every day, and I think about Lumen. Oddly...I miss her. I think about her and I am overwhelmed with pain and heartache because I miss my daughter and want her back. I have even cried a few times thinking about her... I only "knew" her for a very limited amount of time, but I loved my daughter so much. It's insane to me, to love someone so much that is just a figment of my imagination. I lay in bed at night thinking about her. I remember her sweet, chubby face, her short, sleek black hair, and her cute pink poncho she was wearing! The vividness of my memory of her scares me, honestly.

Can anyone help me? I want to know what the dream means and why I feel so attached to someone who doesn't exist. Thank you in advance. xo - H

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18, female, USA

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Re: I had a daughter...

Hannah_H,
I have a strong sense this dream is addressing aspects of your early life that are 'missing', aspects where there are barriers {Great Wall} which may suggest you have repressed past memories. The baby girl is you, you as a growing toddler where aspects of those years are missing, not only in your memory but probably positive experiences you should have during those years. In short you are missing what was not provided as a child with certain memories/experiences being repressed. There may have been a recent experience that stimulated these memories.

As for the images/symbols in your dream. The major image of course would be the baby, Lumen. Could she represent 'illumination'? China could represent something that is foreign to conscious knowledge as well as a society that uses natural resources as healing agents. New knowledge {baby} about these memories that would bring about inner healing? If there were traumatic issues as a toddler/very young child, or important aspects that were missing that would contribute to a happy childhood, you may have blocked these experiences from conscious knowledge. Or it could be because you were very young {memories usually start at age 4} you do not remember the experiences but the experiences were still imprinted on your psyche. What you lay in bed thinking about is yourself as a young toddler and those things that were missing during those years. Exploring the wall would be an unconscious exploration of the repressed/lost memories/experiences. Safety is a prime concern for a new born {needed and expected by the infant}.

The ending of the dream has you and the baby returning it is natural boundaries {USA}, the van representing the emotional load these experiences possess. The adoption agents would be the healing agent in bringing out these unconscious issues to consciousness. Healing can not begin until the source for the emotional conflicts are realized. This need to realize, acknowledge and understand these emotional energies are what driving {healing agent} your unconscious to cause you to have this dream. The strong emotional energies are why you have such intense feelings after waking from the dream.

Note: Dreams are nature's healing agent. As the immune system is to the body, so is the dream to the psyche{ology}.

Question. Is your mother living? If so was she a part of your early childhood?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: I had a daughter...

Jerry,

Thank you so much for your interpretation. It actually makes some sense to me!
My mother is living, I stay at her house over summers and holidays (I'm in college). However, recently she and I have been fighting a lot, she has been yelling that our relationship isn't what it used to be, and we just aren't close like we used to be. Obviously this is occurring now that I'm almost 19 (tomorrow is my birthday ). But maybe there was a toddler in the dream because I feel helpless (like a young child), no matter what I do to try to please her, she still gets angry?
I look forward to hearing back from you!

Hannah_H

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18, female, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

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Re: I had a daughter...

Hanna,
I appreciate the response. Although I looked back to early life experiences that were missing, what you state about your relationship in the presence 'could fit' with what I saw from the dream {if indeed there are not any early childhood issues you may have forgotten or repressed}. What may be a clue to your present day issues with your mother would be the dream language, "So, fast forward what must have been at least 2-3 years, I was older". Being in the first part of the dream it would be setting the 'stage' for what the dream is about {the conflicts you describe in your response}. But I see other language that doesn't really fit, insuring the baby is safe while overcoming the strong barriers {Great Wall} being one. The dream language overall seems to be pointing to a reconciliation, a positive outcome to the negative emotional situation/experiences. Perhaps my asking about your mother distracts you from the possibility there were issues involving other possibilities when you were young. Although the infant would be an aspect of yourself and could fit with your response, the positive outcome doesn't fit {unless you have indeed reconciled the conflicts with your mother}. And your strong emotions after waking from the dream would be more of would be expected from someone who indeed had something missing in their childhood. Again these could very well be repressed issues and you are not consciously ready to confront the issues {"I was still in college and was not ready to have a baby"}. You are still in the 'learning' stages of what the issues would be. The last paragraph could also point to this still as yet recognized emotional issue {"The last thing I can recall is that we were in a van the agent was driving and she was bringing us to the airport to go back to the USA"}. The agent would be an unconscious aspect that is 'driving/controlling' your emotional self and that is what is being brought back to consciousness {back to your original self/USA}.

By the way. The definition of Lumen is 'a unit of luminous flux equal to the light emitted in a steradian {center of a sphere-your center} by a uniform point source of one candle intensity'. The psyche could have unconscious access to this definition of lumen without any conscious knowledge. The word lumen relates to luminous/illumination which is defined as 'full of or shedding light; bright or shining, especially in the dark {unconscious}'. The psyche is capable of strange things and whatever is within the psyche is available to our dreams. The psyche has access to universal knowledge and the word lumen could have associations to its definition. The new knowledge {unconscious} that is now available to you {repressed/not available previously} is now being illuminated.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: I had a daughter...

Jerry,

I truly appreciate your analysis. It helps a lot.
I can't really think of anything bad from my childhood, I had a pretty good life growing up and was happy, but if I have repressed some memories, I wouldn't know! I haven't had any more dreams that relate back to that dream, but maybe I will in the future and it will help me understand more.

I think the definition and interpretation of Lumen is really interesting. I mean, of all the names I could have chosen in that dream, I chose one that is so similar to shedding light and illumination! The mind is so cool haha (I'm majoring in psychology, love this kind of stuff).

Again, thank you for your help.
Hannah

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 18, female, USA

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Re: I had a daughter...

Hannah,
Let's look at the dream as it unfolds. In the beginning of the dream you are 18 {your current age}. Jung states that the dream always means what is says {of course in its language of symbol and metaphor}. A this time you had a baby girl {something new to do with your feminine aspects}. But you gave up this new thing for adoption {new aspect} because you were still 'learning' {quest for understanding/knowledge} and you were not ready to have this new thing. Could this new thing be a new opportunity that you are not ready to take on? The feminine associations {girl} could point to emotional issues {highly emotional}. The opening statement in a dream usually points to the primary theme the dream is attempting to communicate.

So fast forward 2-3 years when you are older, and wiser. This may point to future expectations or concerns. China may point to new territory that would be an emotional barrier {Great Wall}. You are there to get your daughter back {feminine aspects} in order to do with this new thing. The family would represent your whole being which this new thing is affecting/would affect. The daughter {a feminine aspect} has grown into a toddler {age when you first learn to walk}. Time has passed {learning to cope}. There is a uniting of younger and older aspects {perhaps your recognition/understanding of what is expected and realities of what can be achieved?}. 'Lumen', illumination! With this new understanding/illumination/knowledge you explore the barriers, those things that are in your way that would bring this new thing back to a real possibility. A new understanding {enlightenment/illumination that comes with age/wisdom} is allowing you to overcome the barriers and feel secure about your decisions {sure she was safe}. The adoption agent may point to a 'liaison' unknown qualities and conscious expectations/desires and this is what guiding you/your decision making {from the beginning which may point to personality qualities of being safe in what you do in life}. You feel comfortable in this positive mold {ice cream, garden, park}. Your are 'driven' by practicality when there is a stressful/emotional load {van} which brings you back to your original self {personality traits}.

Looking at the dream in this light points to something new, new responsibilities you are either undertaking or considering that causes you pause before actually going forward {fast forward}. The dream may be pointing to personality traits where you use practicality in your decision making. Look at your life when you had this dream and see what would fit.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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