Anonymous,
There is no question you have high regards for your brother and he probably has been a big influence in your life. His character has helped you in your personal development and you desire to be like him {two gold pair of earrings}. But there is a caveat to this relationship that is 'off', something about yourself that does not measure up to his 'high position'. The added info you provided states you are stuck in your quest for progressing in life. In comparing yourself to your brother's position, this may be what is 'off'. And there seems to be other issues as well in this relationship {comparing your life to his, or you to him}. That seems to be what the rest of the dream is addressing.

The middle paragraphs depict you being confined by emotions about integrating who you are as opposed to who you are expected to be {sex is often a symbol for integrating contrasting/conflicting aspects within one's psyche}. I get the sense you either are putting pressure on yourself in your expectations {something that fits with the added info you provided} and/or others have high expectations of you that you may feel you can not meet or do not think is your true path. The dialog in these middle parts seem to be about choices, ones you have made, those you may feel you should have done differently and those you want to make that fit with who you really are. Whereas your siblings have a set direction in life you are still looking to find your place. Because of your lack of success thus far you have created 'grief' for yourself and perhaps others have caused you grief because of it. This has a lot to do with the pressures on you but is likely an inner issue also {I'll address in concluding my analysis}.

As for the last paragraph related to your sister. I see that as a part of the choices and decision making you are entertaining/pressured in getting your life together. It may be her chosen direction and perhaps a direction she and other family members are pushing on you. This is not who you are. As you stated in the added info she is a fun person but you are not her.

As for the inner issues. I do sense there are other aspects about choices to be made. I get an impression of a choice between 'material' worth compared to 'creative' aspects {creative would include those choices related to your true desires}. The philosophical/spiritual matters may be pointing to those things your soul desires where as other choices involve making money, achieving a better position in life by choosing a path that provides material worth. Whereas the kite is symbolic of higher aspirations to do with your 'higher qualities' {spiritual/creative}, that aspect is 'hurting' as to what choices you are expected to make. To go in a direction other than what your soul desires, that fabric {what you would be made of} is rough and has a heavy texture {feel} to it. I also sense there are intuitive aspects you possess that are attempting to guide you. This would be related to the soul, your true self and should be listed to.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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