It's early in the morning and I'm taking a bath outside. The bath is circle shaped, about 6ft diameter, 3ft deep and tiled all around. It's on the corner of my road. I figured it was OK to bathe outside, since it's so early, there's unlikely to be many people around. I stand up in the water and look down the road. There's a T junction at the end of the road and a person is walking along the other street, with a large grey coloured dog on a leash. Both the person and the dog are slowing down, staring at me. I think that they must be wondering what I'm doing. I kneel in the water and wet my hair, so they can see that I'm just taking a bath. I push my hair back from my face, squeezing the water out behind me. The person then falls face first onto the ground and lies there, motionless, I wonder if they have fainted or if they're dead. The dog continues staring at me.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33, female, UK

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Nicola,
Here is a general analysis of your dream. I'll take another look to this dream and your other posted dreams and try to determine what other possibilities there are in the messages.

Analysis
There are new beginnings {or needs to be} in your conscious life that will lead to wholeness {6+3=9, the symbol for wholeness} for your whole being. But emotional experiences {6} 'tile' this need. There is a feeling of there being a lack of control to this path. There are unconscious influences to these emotions/feelings. Although you can image your path ahead you have yet to cross over and achieve the desired wholeness {T junction}. You need more control/discipline over your ego life, overcoming indecision to how/which way to proceed. There may be a need to follow your instincts rather than your emotions. Outwardly it may seem you are making progress but unconsciously there are doubts. There are unconscious issues that govern your attitude and possible fears of failure and these are preventing you from making real progress. It is the underlying issues that are the primary obstacle. They govern your life and prevent true progress.

Jerry ]meditate]

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Thank you, Jerry

I would agree that I'm not sure which direction to take. I don't feel like I have much control over my progress. There are a lot of indications that there may be unconscious issues, but despite my efforts to understand what they are, I'm not finding anything. I'll think on this a bit longer.

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Nicola,
I still intend to look at your other dreams and see what may be in those that will provide clues to any emotional issues you do not remember. It looks as if I analyzed this dream properly, the lack of control and indecision being the prime message of the dream {which fits your conscious life as stated in your response}. It will be the underlying issues that contribute or even are the obstacles in making progress and we want to get to those. If you can post other dreams perhaps they will provide new clues to any negative emotional energies. You have posted several dreams and I will take a look at those with the knowledge there may be undiscovered issues in your mind. I seldom refer back to past dreams because I have so many dreams to work with but this requires an inspection of past dreams to see what may be in them. I'll do that over the next few days and report back to you on my findings.

Jerry

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Thanks. Here's some other dreams that may provide some clues:

*I hear a noise at my back door and I go to investigate. The door was half open, it's dark outside, a German Shepherd dog comes into the passageway. I pause a moment, apprehensive about what to do. Just then, a man appears outside the door, walking past slowly and looking at me intensely. His eyes were red and glowing slightly, he appeared evil and sinister. He was tall and muscular. I felt a sense of being stalked, watched, like he'd always been there, just outside of my awareness. The intensity of his presence was utterly terrifying. I stood there like a deer caught in headlights.
At first, I assumed that the dog was with him, but just as this thought entered my mind, he looked down the dog. He appeared slightly taken aback, like he was surprised to see the dog there. At same moment, the dog turned around to go back out through the door. The man moved quickly to grab the door handle, as if slightly panicked and pulled the door shut to prevent the dog escaping.
End

(I remember having some dreams as a child about a man with red eyes, one was him staring through my bedroom window)

*My partner comes downstairs carrying a travel cot and begins to set it up.
Next part, there's a ceremony. My partner is standing in a line with his father and two brothers. They're all dressed in suits and ties. It's not a wedding, but seems to be about my partner and myself in a similar sense.
End

*I go to visit my father-in-law. When I arrive my partner is already there. My f.i.l. tells me that a crazy person keeps knocking on his door and asking him how to get upstairs. He lives in a bungalow and therefore has no upstairs. There's also a baby boy there. My partner and I leave, taking the baby with us and start to walk home. I'm carrying the baby in a sitting position, with his bare bottom on the palm of my hand.

As we walk past a block of flats, a woman calls to my partner from a first floor window. I'm looking to my partner to determine if this is the baby's mother.
My partner calls up to the woman "What did I tell you? Some way, Some how, I was going to make sure that your ***** got stretched." and gestures towards the baby, smiling.
End

(I couldn't think of any particular association for my f.i.l. I think it's the father & son dynamic which is represented here. Also I think it's related to maiden & mother archetypes.)

* I'm alone in a small apartment, I'm waiting for someone. I notice some movement in the shadows and I ask who's there, there's no response. I ask "Who are you?" and again get no response. I start to feel afraid and also sick and dizzy. I try to remember all the protection rituals/spells I've previously heard of and quickly go over them in my mind. I think that I should leave. Then a voice says "You have a lot of protection". I start to feel bolder since whoever it is behaving cowardly and won't come out the shadows. I ask if I need protecting and the voice replies "Yes". I then say "Oh? And why's that?"
I then see part of his face in the light, his skin is grey and his teeth and eyes are yellow. He then bolts out the door and I run after him. I run through a corridor with doors leading off it until I come to a set of double doors. I push them open and I'm in a small theatre. It's empty and dark except for dim spotlights on the stage. I scan around to see if he's in there. I see some movement in the curtains on the stage and so I run at it. I charge into him and grab hold of his clothes, we both tumble out of a side door into the the daylight. I get up and he's lying face down on the floor, not moving.
End

*I'm walking through a building and I see my aunt. She's just about to go through some double doors. I stop to talk to her and she tells me that her and my cousin are here to board a plane. I ask where my cousin is and she tells me that she's outside. She then tells me that she's worried about her. Someone has told my aunt that they've witnessed her daughter being abused, but my cousin won't discuss it with my aunt. I tell my aunt that I will talk to my cousin and see if I can find anything out. She thanks me and I go outside to find my cousin. I find her outside, sitting on a wall and I go and sit beside her. I tell her that someone told my aunt that she had been abused and ask her if it's true. She said that it's true and said that it was Tony, who's the husband of our other cousin. I tell her that it will be OK and she goes off to meet my aunt to board the plane.
End

(When I woke up, I immediately realised that Tony wasn't the name of our other cousin's current husband, but it was the name of her previous husband who had died a few years before. I couldn't understand why I got it mixed up like that in my dream. I have asked my mother [casually] if the name has any other relevance, something I might not remember and she didn't think we ever knew anyone else with that name. )

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Nicola,
As I have stated previously all dreams have at least two meanings/applications. I sense this in a couple of the dreams but because of the strong unconscious issues to do with what I see as 'blocking out' certain past experiences, the personal experiences are secondary {it is difficult to name personal experiences with any dream}. It is in the second dream I sense distinct personal aspects and that is as follows:
On the personal side, are there desires yet unfulfilled of involving your partner? Does this fit in some aspect of that relationship? If so the underlying repressed issues may have a bearing in those experiences.

I have analyzed all the dreams and here is what I come up with.
The first three dreams have strong indications of repressed memories/experiences. There are indications these memories are ready to become conscious but because of the strong emotional distress it would cause they do not come up to consciousness. It may be the person who is involved in the past experiences is still in your life and may have authoritative influence over you. Unconsciously 'his' presence is terrifying but consciously, because you have repressed the memories, his authoritative presence subdues the need to remember the experiences.

It is in the third dream I am sensing something new appears {the baby}. Not only about repressed aspects but aspects to do with rational thinking vs irrational. Is this something that fits with your current life? Or perhaps the irrational would be a condition that would develop if the repressed issues were to come up to consciousness {the presence of the baby-a new development}. The repressed memories are so traumatic, and if the person involved is still in your waking life, that could cause an irrational response if brought to consciousness {the dream would be for warning, something that is not usual in dreams}. You are passive when it comes to carrying these unconscious aspects with you {sitting position} indicating there is no desire to acknowledge what the repressed issues are. You hold this knowledge within your mind {palm} and have the ability to access this communication {hand} if desired.

Then there is what may be a clue that points to an actual experience. Blocking out past experiences {flat may allude to the prone position} where you need to determine what gave birth to the repressed memories/experiences {who is the mother}. There are feminine aspects involved and possible sexual {pointing toward the baby as the source}.

Let me say also I get the sense of therapy from this dream. Of course all dreams are therapeutic so that could be what is coming through. But I sense something other than just that. Are you in therapy {it seems you stated that somewhere in one of your posts}? If so has the therapy indicated issues to do with voices and/or alternate states of consciousness {spells/rituals}? Have you actively been involved in practices where spells/rituals are practiced {or even reading on the topics}? Sorting that out would help with understanding your state of mind.

The fourth dream points to the shadows, the dark spaces within the unconscious {also possible shadow aspects}. There are also questions asked {which resembles lucid dreaming} with no response {due to repressed desires that protect consciousness}. What should leave the unconscious and become conscious has a lot of protection from doing so {repression}. When there is a progression to unconscious contents becoming conscious {feeling bolder} the cowardly shadow aspects block the way out. You need protection from these issues becoming conscious because of the emotional energies they possess.

The last part of the fourth dream seems to be pointing to these issues coming to consciousness. There is an outline of the repressed emotional issues {and possibly references to an actual person}. But there are double doors that need to be opened before you can access the unconscious contents. You get through on set of doors only to come to the a set of second doors and enter a small theatre {your unconscious life on stage}. This puts you back into the dark spaces of the unconscious and although there is movement to the point of conscious viewing, when it gets to that point the issues remain unseen {face down}, not moving {this may be due to the presence of those involved in the original experiences whose authoritative influence prevents conscious knowledge of the repressed issues}.

What associations do you have with your aunt? She is about to go through the same double doors which may suggest commonality between you and her {symbolically an aunt in a dream could represent aspects you like or dislike}. An aunt in a dream can symbolically be a substitute for the mother. Also your cousin and the abuse. The only times dream use literal language is when there are close relationships involved, especially if there are shared experiences. The whole dream seems to be addressing this issue. The difference is the shared issues with your cousin seem to be already known or acknowledged {on the outside}. Your cousin would be you in those related aspects. She meets your aunt and boards the plane {seeking freedom in releasing the unconscious contents}.

Is any of what is in the fourth dream true? Any abuse in your cousin's experiences? It could be this dream is purely symbolic but I believe it goes beyond that {although the images will also have a symbolic reference}.

As for Tony. The reference may be more about naming names rather than an actual person with that name. We must also consider the actual waking truth of who Tony really was {who has since died}. That Tony may represent to do with something that has died {within you}. He was the first/primary husband and the man your cousin is married to is a second/secondary husband. Consider the possibility of projecting this person as a father figure and whoever it is that Tony represents is no longer 'alive' within your unconscious mind {because of the pain inflicted on you by that person}. From previous dreams I believe the person associated with the repressed memories experiences is still alive and has an active part in your life {an authoritative presence at that}.

Again there are recent personal aspects to these dreams also. Those only you can know {they involve relationships, especially with your partner}. Consider what I have provided and see what you come up wit. The question about being in therapy is important because I sense deep issues that seem to involve some sort of therapy.

A lot to consume. Take your time and ponder the deeper associations that may stem from childhood. Especially to do with persons who may have an 'authoritative' presence in your life then and now.

Jerry

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Thank you very much. A lot of the picture has come together thanks to your interpretation. I couldn't figure out the significance of the part about Tony and my mixing them up. Now I'm quite certain who my dreams are pointing towards as being responsible for the repressed experiences. I believe this person 'died' in my mind due to a change in their appearance which would have made it easier for me as a child to perceive them as a different person, enabling me to build a trusting relationship with them. This would have been necessary to continue functioning in circumstances which I had no control over. Therefore things regarding that person would be 'mixed up' in my mind. I've recently realised that projections onto this person have prevented me seeing things about them in the past. It seems these projections are falling away as the unconscious contents are beginning to surface.
Yes this person is still in my life, although they are no longer an authoritive presence. The barriers would be my respect and love for this person, first and foremost.

I'm not aware of any abuse in my cousins past. I think the association would be her position in the family. She's 14 years younger than me and replaced me as the youngest girl in the family. I can't think of anyone who would better represent me as a young child. My aunt is my mother's sister and I can see how my dream may have substituted her for my mother and my cousin for myself. I do remember my mother having a talk with me and basically asking (in a way a child can understand) if anyone had sexually abused me. Something must have made her suspicious, like my aunt in my dream was suspicious (I'm not willing to bring this up with my mother unless I remember something substantial first).

I'm not in therapy and tbh, it's not a practical option for me. My location and my finances both make obtaining the type of therapy I think I would need extremely difficult, if not impossible. I do have support though and some of my friends, including my closest friend, are professionals in the mental health field. Any issues would be noticed quickly. I know that's not why you were asking but I wanted to explain my situation in case my notes being in therapy caused you any concern.

Rational thinking vs irrational is definitely a significant aspect of my situation. I believe this is representing something which has already occurred. Jung's irrational 'third' symbol, born out of tension of the opposites. Which is, I believe, the reason that unconscious contents have been surfacing. I've recently understood that this change in my consciousness is represented in my 'passing on a number dream'. Symbolising the shift in consciousness from within my ego, to a point between the ego and the unconscious.

I've had no practical experience of rituals/spells. My very limited knowledge of such has been from forums which I explored while trying to understand the changes that had occurred in my psyche. This was before I came across Jung's theories.

Again, thank you for your insight. I now have little doubt in my mind as to who my dreams are indicating had a major role in this. Perhaps now I've acknowledged that, more will be revealed to me.

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Nicola,
This is great news. Finally being able to put things together and discover what the unconscious contents are that have be hidden away for so long. I will provide a detailed response to your latest post Sunday. A big step, now we need to find ways to continue it.

Jerry

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