pari,
My sense from reading the dream that fits with your waking life was the fear of becoming like your mother. Having a fear of being like her would be common since it was an environment you grew up in {despite your positive self that has emerged, the unconscious influences are always strong}. Having this fear in relationships would also reflect your early life environment since what you witnessed in her weak personality was in the relationship with your father {and perhaps men in general}.

You are a brave one indeed when following your heart. Especially in a culture that is so masculine dominated and where women in particular are not supposed to show such bravado. I will quote my spiritual mentor when it comes to following your true path:

“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don't be afraid, and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be.”
― Joseph Campbell

I have found this to be true in my life. Doors opened so many times when I saw only barriers. It is almost as difficult in the US to be your true self since our culture is so corrupt politically and corporations have a strangle hold on our lives, most Americans have little desire to be their 'authentic' selves. Having cast off social duty as the guide in my life I have been discovered my true calling {dreams}. It does seem the one common thread for both of us in achieving Nirvana fits with another quote from Campbell. He said, 'Nirvana is a psychological state of mind where you are indifferent to fear, desire and social duty.' Seems in both our cultures most can't get past social duty let alone fear and desire {psychological}.

Stay the path dear girl. I admire your strength and determination.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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