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Royalty & Conflict

My dream last night went something like this. I've written in in a somewhat more narrative format, since that's typically how I perceive things when I dream.
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I am a prince, tall, broad-shouldered, dressed in fine clothes and a fur-trimmed cape, though I wear no crown. The hallways of the castle are dim, lit only by torches affixed to the walls - night has fallen outside. I enter a room that's more brightly lit, a fire in the hearth, and a man looks at me in surprise. His blue eyes widen marginally before his expression closes off and his lips press together. He is a close friend to me, but we've been fighting frequently as of late (though I, the dreamer, don't remember why). I, the prince, came to him tonight simply to talk, but it soon escalates into another heated argument, both our voices raised, before I realize that this is not at all what I had intended. I walk slowly closer and sink onto the edge of his bed, waiting a moment before I lean forward to rest my head against his thigh. He sighs, then, and begins to run his fingers lightly through my hair.

We doze, and in the next scene there are two more people, a man and a woman, who enter his room and startle the two of us awake. I stand immediately and feel a surge of nervousness and a need to convince them that I had been there only for official business. I make some excuse for my presence, though they take a long time to talk to my friend and then leave. When they're finally gone, we lay down again and I settle with my back pressed against his side - he's very warm, and that's the last that I remember.
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When I woke up I recalled most vividly the drowsy contentment I felt while I as a prince was laying next to my friend, when everything was warm and still. I really have no idea what it could mean, but this is the first time I've dreamed that I was a man, and I remembered enough when I woke to be curious about it. What do you think?
Best,
Ashley

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, female, CA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} No

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Re: Royalty & Conflict

Ashley,
All dreams have an unconscious message that needs to be made conscious {hallways} but it is not always easy to determine exactly to what degree the energies are in that message. Your dream may be pointing to minor issues to do with relationships, trust, issues to do with power authority and desire for a good nurturing romantic relationship {the prince would be the man in that relationship}. But the sense I get from the images/actions in your dream there are strong emotions related to these issues {dreams have a language of symbol and metaphor-the prince is a desired masculine attitude within you}. I'll provide my analysis and let you respond.

My impression of your dream is there are attitudes to do with relationships, masculine and perhaps romantic, where there is an emotional conflict. because all dreams have at least two meanings/applications I sense the dream is addressing issues to do with current experiences as well as underlying issues from earlier life {either childhood or/and past experiences as an older person}. My sense is you have been hurt from some experience involving men. Whether it was from past romantic relationship or/and {it could be both} or issues as a child, there are strong attitudes of shielding yourself from hurt feelings. There is a good chance there were childhood experiences that laid the foundations to attitudes toward man/woman relationships {perhaps from your parents} and the later in your life a possible relationship where you were hurt. You naturally have a strong desire for romantic nurturing but because of past experiences you have difficulty in having a good relationship. There are likely childhood experiences where proper nurturing was lacking and this has carried over into adulthood as a motivator for personal attitudes. You wish to have a sound romantic relationship but because of the 'unconscious energies' you find it difficult to do so. These energies may involve power and control and when it comes to romantic interests you have trouble getting past these attitudes.

In the second paragraph my analyse points to possible self doubts about people in positions of authority. These would go back to what i have given in the above analysis, problem with masculine authority which translates into difficulties in relationships with men as an adult. Bottom line, when it comes to romantic relationships,you are unconsciously shielding yourself from being emotionally hurt.

I know the images of being a man/prince seem strange but dreams will use such images to address issues and attitudes within the unconscious. The prince is an animus aspect {your masculine side}. This attitude is what you seek and need in life, a prince to save you from the emotional pain you have experienced in life. These are unconscious attitudes that possess strong psyche energies and are motivators for your personality as an adult. You have closed off your emotions and are not able tom express your true self when it comes to relationships with men. The stimulus from this probably comes from childhood {were there experiences where you were physically and/or psychologically hurt as a child by a man?}. There may have been later experiences with in a romantic relationship where you were 'hurt' also {something I sense from the dream}.

I look forward to your response.

Note: For those who are interested in my analysis of the images/actions, I will post them separately.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: Royalty & Conflict

Here is a breakdown of my analysis of the images and actions in Ashley's dream. I have expanded on some of the images/actions and give only a brief description for others {finding within my mind a suitable fit and not going beyond that}. They are divided into two parts corresponding to the two paragraphs in the posted dream.

Paragraph One
-prince-animus image
-broad shouldered- great strength
-fine clothes-positive personality
-fur trimmed cape-hiding something/shielding {fur trimmed} yourself from being emotionally hurt
-no crown-not having success

-hallways-conscious emotions/attitudes
-castle-fortified emotions
-torches attached to walls-success in love but with barriers
-night fallen outside-unconscious obstacles to conscious needs

-room-as specific aspect/attitude you possess
-fire in hearth-passion/desire for emotional nurturing {romantic}
-man-unconscious animus qualities
-blue eyes-power of the unconscious mind in understanding emotional issues {threatening men dressed in blue}
-widen-increase your understanding
-expression closes off-closing off your emotions
-lips pressed together-communication about love/romance not being properly expressed

-close friend-positive aspects
-fighting-conflicting emotions

-prince-masculine aspects
-came to him to talk-communicating true desires
-heated argument-growing tensions within yourself
-not intended-unconsciously motivated
-walk closer to edge of bed-moving closer to the edge of true intimate self
-waiting a moment-anxieties/issues of power/control and feelings of dependence/independence
-lean head-leaning toward specific thinking aspects
-thigh-endurance
-he sighs-emotional relief
-fingers-phallic symbol/sexual attitudes
-lightly through hair-light thoughts

Paragraph Two
-doze-the unconscious
-two people-opposites/conflicting emotions
-room-specific aspect
-startle-disturbing
-awake-triggers
-stand-asserting an attitude
-nervousness-self doubt
-official business-authority position
-excuse-defending position {a conscious attitude motivated by unconscious energies}
-talk to friend-communicate to conscious self
-leave-leaving unconscious
-back against his side-unconscious attitudes opposed to masculine center

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Royalty & Conflict

Hi Jerry,

Thanks so much for taking to time to respond. I found your analysis very interesting.

In terms of my relationships in general, the idea that I'm shielding myself from being hurt is spot on. I'm a very shy, reserved person, and I experience a great deal of trouble with and anxiety about opening up to other people for fear that I'll be rejected, invalidated, and hurt by them. While I do have a strong desire for a romantic relationship, thus far I've never actually been in one - this is one source of many deep-seated insecurities. I tend to view myself as undesirable, especially in comparison with other people around me, and the lack of any romantic involvement has only fed those feelings.

Given that I've never had a boyfriend, my relationships with men are confined to friendships and familial relationships. There have never been instances of physical abuse and nothing that I would classify as psychological abuse, per se - rather, it's just the tone of conversations with my father that sometimes make me feel as though my opinions and thoughts are invalid or flat out wrong, especially when I try to bring up an issue or address something he said that I find inappropriate or hurtful, either to myself or others (for example, he flippantly commented that a young man he saw was a 'fag' - please pardon the term, I'm quoting him - somply because of what he was wearing. When I suggested that what he said was uncalled for unkind to say the least, I was ignored entirely and a new topic was brought up). I tend not to speak up very often, and to be completely ignored when I actually do say something is something that hurts me deeply. In my relationship with my brother, there was an instance where, without going into too much detail, he chose something else over the family and I felt as though I wasn't worth enough for him to stay. This was when I was around 14-15, and I believe is one of the contributing factors to my lack of self worth and reluctance to become emotionally attached to anyone.

In regards to doubts about people in authority, I am very much in a place of being separate from my parents in my thoughts and opinions. Clearly we differ greatly in some of them.

So I guess to summarize, I have lots of self-esteem issues stemming from previous relationships, comparison to others, and the absence of romantic relationships. While I deeply desire an intimate, romantic emotional connection, I have trouble seeing that as attainable for me and struggle to allow myself deep emotional connections at all. A final aspect that may be relevant is a desire to be physically strong as well as emotionally fortified.

I'm not sure how relevant all of this is, but thank you again for taking time to look over and respond to this.

Best,
Ashley

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, female, CA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Just this one

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Royalty & Conflict

Ashley,
I appreciate the detailed response. I will provide a full response to your most recent post either later today or in the morning. Understanding what is unconsciously going on upstairs {via your dreams} can help with the waking issues as well as the reasons for them {there are always motivators from imprinting from early life experiences/influences}. Your dreams can reveal what you may nor realize and when you get an understanding of those you are better equipped to deal with them. My task in analyzing dreams is to help in those efforts.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Royalty & Conflict

Jerry,

Thanks for letting me know. I eagerly await your response.

Best,
Ashley

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, Female, CA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Just this one

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Royalty & Conflict

Ashley,
I apologize for not responding as promised. I sometimes overload myself with tasks and then overlook things I meant to accomplish. Your last post brought me back to the task of looking at your response to my interpretation to see what there may be that would provide further insights to the dream message.

My analyze seems to have pretty well described with what fits with your life. If it fits then it must be a proper analysis. What Jung provides in conceptual theory allows a trained analyst to discern what the dream message{s} are and then a further investigation of the dreamer's life {provided by your response to my analysis} allows even further insights to the dreamer's unconscious mind {which is the true person beyond what the biased ego perceives}. I'll give my thoughts on this and let you take that and determine your next step.

What I see as important from what we have ascertained from the dream as it describes your psychological mind is the father relationship and how it has formed your personality and personal attitudes. Your shyness and reserved attitude most likely had is foundations from early childhood and the relationship with your father. In those earliest years the abusive experiences are imprinted and as you grew older they were constantly re-enforced. The 'psychological' abuse can be and seems likely to have been a key ingredient in your personality/attitudes as an adult. Because every person is different and reacts to environmental experiences based on many factors, the exact reason why his abuse was so dominant in forming your personality would take a deeper look and analysis. But that is an important thing you should consider doing {a deeper look} if you wish to escape the motivating energies the father relationship has implanted onto your psyche. Your shyness and fear of being hurt has a direct link to that relationship. Your self worth is also a product of that relationship and carried over to the negatives related to the brother relationship. Your feelings about your brother leaving and choosing something other than family most likely was also related to the father/son relationship. The same attitude your father demonstrated toward you probably was a big factor in your brother's decision. Although you felt your brother was abandoning you {I am assuming a lot without knowing much about the factors involved} he was likely getting away from your father. But your damaged psyche saw it as a personal experience toward you. That same attitude lives on in the present time and that is what must be resolved if you wish to find healing and wholeness and your life. Having the desired romantic relationship you hope to have is less likely because of these developed attitudes. And even if you were to have a romantic encounter a good possibility it would fail because there would be unresolved unconscious issues related to your father that would get in the way. The issues with your father must be resolved before a successful relationship, romantic or otherwise, will be possible. Therapy seems to be the only answer {self therapy could help if professional consulting isn't possible}.

Let me know your thoughts on my last analysis and perhaps we can find possible avenues that will help your situation. From what you stated in your response to my analysis {and confirmed as a truth from my analysis of your unconscious dream} there is little doubt what the issues are that prevent you from being the whole person you seek to be. The unconscious/motivating energies are strong and removing the grip of those earliest years of psychological abuse by your father is the only way to find healing. This dream pointed to the issues. Future dreams can help in determine where you are in the healing process. When you know what is causing the problem it is much easier to resolve them. The next big step is doing what needs to be done to get there {which requires a lot of desire and discipline}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Royalty & Conflict

Hi Jerry,

First and foremost I want to apologize for the extreme delay in my response. I've had exams, and have more exams approaching rapidly, and overall this month has been horrible in terms of my anxiety. I am so incredibly sorry for the delay.

After reading your latest interpretation, I can agree that previous relationships certainly had a hand in shaping my current insecurities. However, I'm having a lot of trouble classing my interactions with my father as abusive; I've never before associated that word with him before, and despite recognizing hurts in the relationship I still wouldn't class it as such. While my brother and I do both have issues in our relationship with him, his leaving was due much more to his own poor decisions than to conflict with our dad. A large part of me balks at calling any of our interactions, even the negative ones, abusive. I haven't had many other dreams that I recall lately, and certainly none that I remember so vividly as the topic of this post. To be honest I still think about it from time to time.

It's somewhat disheartening but not terribly surprising that my particular personality might make it difficult to find a meaningful relationship. In tandem with other fairly recent discoveries about myself, there seem to be plenty of reasons that a relationship may be out of reach, no matter how much I may want one.

Professional therapy, unfortunately, isn't an option. I'm not prepared to open up to my family about my deeper problems and can't afford any kind of treatment on my own.

I'd like to apologize again for the extreme delay in my response! I hope you're doing well.

Best,
Ashley

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20, female, CA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

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