Dear Jerry,

If i said i see the zero at 7 position, will it give you another clue to what i (unconsciously) lack of?

Its true that i feel theres something "wrong" with me. But wrong word isnt really right... Maybe your "un-wholeness" is what i feel for all this time.

In general i feel really okay. But sometimes i feel theres something not really right deep inside me. Things that i dont want but cant throw nor change because I have no clue and access to that part.. But lately, i want to reach that part by watching my thinking when im alone (esp for traumatic/not healed/wounded things which makes me uncomfortable when remembering).

My relationship with my family right now (include my mother) is on good term. I already give up wholeheartedly what i need (something that i think is my right as a child) from my parents long time ago, and i start to look at my parents as equal on "human" part things when im about 20 years old. Ah, fyi, what i want is simple, i just want to be spoiled as children in general. But i already accepted that although they are not perfect (as parents), its okay, cause my life should go on, and waiting them to do so will only waste my own time since they didnt seem to understand, and when i talk about it, it only make them seeing me as childish person (when im already this big) and make me lose trust from my parent.

Ah.. Or maybe its actually not... Cause right now, talking about it's enough to make me almost cry.. Maybe im just too tired from working today that my psycho becomes a bit unstable.

By the way, thanks for your asap reply although you are busy enough a moments ago.
Hope your work running smoothly there.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Omg, i just read some article... It seems that "spoiled" word is used for negative things..
If i said spoiled before, what i mean is for them to show that they love me and be grateful for my existence.
For example: to stroke my head, to hug me, to accompany me when im too scared to go to bathroom at night without makes me feels inferior, to be on my side when im being accused or scolded for things i didnt do esp when they see it with their own eyes that im not guilty.. to encourage me when i want to try something, to show some good expression when they knew im trying something really hard and nail it/not showing some cold expression as if its nothing but became angry if i failed, not insult me for things i cant do as well as others, and so on..

But when im at teens they started changing... Thats why when im on high school, i want them to give me back my childhood.. But i stopped when im in university.

Ah ya, could i know about zero in 7 position clock? Will it give me another understanding?
Actually i ve been confused to get a whole (but specific) picture about this...

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 27

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes