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Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Jerry,

I really can't thank you enough for taking the time to help me with this. I've never had a dream confuse me so much and stick with me as long as this one has. I feel like it's really important somehow, I just don't have the experience and knowledge to figure it out myself.

Thank you again!
- Tali

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, Male, Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Tali,
Still working on your dream. So many obligations at the moment, the foremost being I am nursing a days old kitten someone left at my door this past Saturday.

Since you do have experience in analyzing your own dreams let me post the first two paragraphs and my preliminary interpretation of teh images/actions. Of course what you are looking for are developing patterns of emotional behavior. see if you can recognize anything that rings a bell. I'll continue working on the dream.

First Paragraph
I was at my workplace, but it wasn't actually the place where I work. This was a grand hotel foyer, with a ballroom. There were a lot of passerby around, but none of my coworkers were there. I went on with performing my job duties as I normally do, but seemed to be stuck in a time loop. Every time I went to write on my clipboard, I wrote the same time down: 1715. I realized I was doing this, but I felt compelled to keep doing it. It went on for what seemed like hours, until finally I put down the clipboard and went outside.

-work-anxieties but not about actual place of work
-grand hotel-imposing new personal attitudes/rid old habits
-ballroom-seeking balance
-stuck-helplessness escaping stress
-write on clipboard-communication from unconscious
-1715-66-conflict in becoming whole
-realize I was doing this-consciously aware
-compelled to keep doing it-unconsciously driven to repeat attitudes/action
-hours-60 minutes x 2 -66 = conflict
-put down the clipboard and went outside-unconscious energies reflected in ego life

Second Paragraph
It wasn't my break time according to my watch, but I didn't care. There was a girl I wanted to talk to, and to me that was more important than doing my job at that moment. She met up with me on my way out, and started talking to me about her divorce. She was really sad, and I put my arm around her shoulders to comfort her when she started to cry. After she cried for a moment, she looked up at me, and she started talking again, but her mouth wasn't moving. I was hearing her thoughts, and they said "What are you doing? Just go ahead and get it over with! Do it!" Then she tried to kiss me. I dodged it and looked up at the ceiling where the security cameras were. "Not here" I said "They can't know about it." She kept trying, though, but I kept avoiding it. When we made it outside and were away from the cameras, I let her kiss me. It wasn't anything passionate, just a nervous peck. After it was over, she hid her face and apologized profusely. I smiled at her and told her it was okay, and she looked happy. I told her to go on ahead to the courtyard, because I wanted something to drink from the vending machine. I bought a Mountain Dew, and went out to meet her. She was sitting on a bench holding a baby. It didn't look like a baby, but I knew it was a baby somehow. There were three girls around her that I didn't know. I asked my friend whose baby it was, and she told me it was hers. I was confused because she hadn't shown any signs of being pregnant, and one of the other girls told me that she'd just had it and needed to go to the hospital. I volunteered to take her, even though I didn't have my car.

-break time/watch-break from feeling confined
-girl-anima aspect/emotions
-job-something that needs to be done/unsatisfied with self
-girl's divorce-emotional transitional phase
-sad-learning from disappointments/not dwelling on negatives
-cry-release of emotions
-mouth not moving-not able to communicate emotions
-hearing thoughts-listening to unconscious ideas/aspects
-get over it/do it-get past emotional aspect
-tried to kiss-seeking harmony
-dodged it/looked at ceiling-not doing what is necessary due to mental attitudes
-security cameras-focused on insecurities
-not here/don't know about it-not consciously aware of insecurities
-let he kiss me-letting unconscious insecurities control conscious actions
-nervous peck-self doubts/insecurities mechanical reaction
-hid her face-hiding emotional aspects
-apologized-forgiveness of oneself
-looked happy-contentment/feeling sorry for oneself
-courtyard-enclosed by emotions
-drink from vending machine-consuming/dispensing automatic emotions
-Mountain Dew-expected emotional barriers
-sitting on bench holding baby-procrastinating/holding on to vulnerabilities/insecurities
-didn't look like a baby-
-three girls-various unconscious conflicting emotions
-it was hers-imposing emotions
-confused-actually confusion/conflicting aspects
-no signs of being pregnant-not aware of unconscious aspects
-go to hospital-emotional aspects in need for healing
-volunteer to take her-important need but no direction to how

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Jerry,

Thank you so much for what you've done so far, and yes, definitely take care of that kitty first!

Your interpretation so far is spot on with what I've been going through recently. I had a suspicion that the dream was my unconscious self trying to help me work through the situation I've found myself in lately. There's has been a lot of drama between a few acquaintances in the last couple of weeks, and I've somehow been placed directly in the center of it. It's been very stressful, to say the least. I despise conflict. I try to avoid it when possible, but if ever I find myself in the middle of it, I tend to react very rashly, most likely as an attempt to get it over with as soon as possible by driving all the offending parties away. This time I've been doing the opposite. I've been letting it wash over me like a stone in the sea, trying to ride it out while trying to avoid getting involved more than I am. It's getting the best of me. I just want to be done with it, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Every time I feel like I'm in a good place, someone will say or do something that causes me to lash out, ultimately prolonging the situation. It's a destructive cycle that I can't seem to break out of.

I feel that what this dream is telling me right now is that I'm dwelling on old insecurities and it's causing me to be an emotional wreck, which is definitely true. The whole reason I'm having so much trouble with this particular situation is that it reminds me so much of a time in my life when I was in a very dark place. The insecurities I'm feeling now are the same ones that I was carrying with me during that time, and they had been buried up until now. I couldn't rid myself of those feelings of inadequacy, so I just pretended they didn't exist. Now I feel like I'm heading back to that dark place again, and I realize that it's my own fault so I'm angry with myself more than anything. If I had just worked through those problems back then I wouldn't be dealing with them again now. I feel that what I need to do is work on me. Ignore everyone else and concentrate on fixing myself so that I can be comfortable in my own skin again. It's just so hard. I feel as though I'm abandoning the ones who need me if I spend too much time on myself.

Thank you again for your work so far. It's really opening my eyes to things I wasn't able to see on my own.

-Tali

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, Male, Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

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Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Tali,
I believe you have done a good job touching on what much of the dream is addressing.Let me provide an analysis of the third as well as the final paragraphs and let you provide your thoughts on those. The other paragraphs are pretty much repeating what we have already discussed {as is usual in long dreams}. I do believe the very last parts of the dream, the final actions are important and point to where you are and what needs to be adjusted so you can realize true healing of the emotional issues.

Third Paragraph
I took her to the hospital, which turned out to be in the same hotel where we were working, but I still had to walk down a steep hill to get there. She wasn't with me on the way to the hospital, but she was next to me when I got there, like she'd been by my side all along. I made sure she was taken care of, then I told her I had to go back to work. I was starting to panic because I'd gotten really behind in my job duties. I told her I'd come back to see her when I got another break, and headed back to work. I had to walk back up the same steep hill I had come down, and it was then that I realized I wasn't even wearing my work clothes. I was dressed in tennis shoes and basketball shorts, when I should have been wearing jeans and work boots. I started panicking even more, because I knew if someone from work saw me like that I would get into big trouble. I decided to go to the lost and found to see if they had anything I could wear.

-took her to hospital-taking time for healing
-same hotel where working-same imposing anxieties/emotions
-walk down steep hill-going in direction that leads back to unconscious energies/experiences
-not with you way to hospital-emotional aspects not dominating when in process of healing
-next to you when you got there-emotional aspects still exist
-sure she was taken care of-working on healing emotional aspects
-go back to work-negative emotions influence return
-panic/job duties-stressed although working on healing
-come back to see her-a need focus on healing without interruption by negative aspects
-back to work-focusing on return to healing
-walk up same steep kill-same position you had been previously
-dressed in tennis shoes/basketball shorts-need assistance in asserting yourself/short on being/need to be grounded
-should have been wearing jeans/work boots-not being firm/bold in emotional healing
-panicking-over stressed/anxieties
-from work/seeing you- trouble understanding anxieties
-lost and found-losing anxieties/finding true self {healing}
-could wear-could use in conscious life

Last Paragraph
I went back to the hospital to see my friend, but this time I didn't have to walk down the steep hill. I didn't even have to leave the building. I just took the elevator to the next floor and ended up in the hospital lobby. I asked the receptionist where my friend was and she said that I couldn't see her. When I asked her why, she didn't say anything, but motioned toward the patient rooms. I turned around and saw two of my male coworkers blocking one of the doors. They were glaring at me with their arms crossed and wouldn't let me through. I was enraged and forced my way past them violently, getting into the room and slamming the door shut behind me. They kept trying to look through the window of the room while I talked to my friend. She didn't know they had been standing out there, but she was angry when I told her. She didn't have the baby with her, and she didn't even mention it again. She just said she was feeling better and was ready to leave, so I told her I would get her out.

Suddenly we were outside in the courtyard again. She was sitting on the bench and I was standing next to her, listening to her talk about her problems.

-went back to hospital to see friend-return to healing self
-not walking steep hill-not returning to negative aspects
-didnt leave building-staying within your boundaries to heal
-elevator to next floor-elevating yourself to a higher level
-hospital lobby-making healing possible
-receptionist/friend-receptive/being positive to rejected aspects
-couldn't see her/didn't say-still unavailable/not communicating
-patient's room-turning to aspects of healing process
-two male workers blocking one door-conflicting obstacle in one experience
-arms crossed-removing negative abilities/aspects
-wouldnt let through-inability to move forward
-forced way violently past them-aggressively forcing yourself past anxieties
-trying look through window-trying to see through the negative aspects
-she didnt know/standing out there-unconscious of outer affects
-angry when told her-expressing negative emotions
-didnt have baby-not possessing inner abilities
-didnt mention it again-not communicating what is needed
-feeling better/get her out-consciously better letting out emotions
-outside in courtyard-letting out inner enclosed emotions
-sitting on bench/standing next to her/talk about problems-back where you started

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Jerry,

I apologize for taking so long with this reply. I've been swamped with work for the past week.

I did have the chance to read your latest reply, though, and I've taken it to heart as much as I am able to. The gist of what I gathered was that my insecurities really are the reason for the emotional turmoil I've been feeling lately, and that I need to remove myself from the current situation as much as possible while I work through my own problems. I can't be happy until I take care of me, I realize, and I suppose that some small part of me has known this all along.

I get the feeling that fear has played a large part in my neglect of myself, mainly the fear that I will give so much energy and time to my emotional healing, and that it really won't help at all. However I have been doing what I can, because the misery I was feeling a week ago was so overwhelming that I was lashing out and hurting those people I care about. Never physically, but emotionally. I've been shutting out the ones who want nothing more than for me to be happy, and that is unacceptable.

I feel that the third paragraph most accurately describes what I've been going through for the last week. It seems that my self-healing has met with some resistance, whether it's from my own subconscious habit of self-sabotage or from outside parties wishing misery on me, I cannot say for sure. I do know that it has been difficult to heal, because once I manage to separate myself from the drama, part of it manages to trickle back in, effectively halting my healing process until it can be dealt with. The good news is that it sets me back less and less as time goes on. Rather than be sucked fully back down into the darkness each time I'm met with adversity, I've been able to find a handhold and pull myself out.

Thanks to your dream interpretation, I feel that I know what I need to do now, and it does seem to be working. More quickly than I had imagined it would, to be honest. I already have the tools inside of me to heal myself, I realize. All I really have to do is utilize those tools and I'll find peace. I've just been afraid all my life to do so, afraid that it was the wrong thing to do. I always secretly thought that maybe I had done something to deserve such misery, and to try and change that would bring further pain to my life. I know now that that was incorrect, because I wouldn't have been making progress at all if it were meant to be this way. My plan is to continue working on myself until I feel complete. I do have a support system in place, and they have been wonderful, even though they don't understand why I've been hurting. They just want me to be better.

I can't thank you enough for helping me see what this dream was trying to tell me. It really was what I needed to hear.

Regards,
-Tali

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 28, Male, Kentucky

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Bizarre vivid dream

Tali,
Continue the self help therapy and use the tools you have available and you will continue to find solutions. What it takes more than anything is discipline to stay with the healing process. Learning what needs to be healed of course is the first need. Don't let everyday responsibilities and pressures derail you. One main ingredient of the hero journey {you become the hero in your own life through self discovery and healing} is not to let social pressures in life control you but live am original life where the creative/spiritual aspects take the lead. We all have responsibilities but when the focus is on the outer world and neglecting the inner there is an imbalance. When you go inward and discover what the motivating emotional energies are that causes conflicts in the waking life you begin the healing process and bring balance to the inner self and personal growth in the waking life. You are on the right path.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes


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