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my first dream where i saw my own death

I had a dream the other night, that was unlike ANY other dream ive ever had, mainly because of the fact that in THIS dream, i actually saw myself (in the dream) die/dead, and in any of my other dreams, this has never ever happened before.

I only seem to remember this dream from the middle point of it, up til the very end. **IMPORTANT**: In this dream, i was myself (1st person view/thru my own eyes), UP UNTIL right at the VERY end, which was when i then was suddenly looking at my dead body.(3rd person view)

From what I can remember, i was inside a house arguing with a boyfriend, (whose name was Jesse). He kept accusing me of cheating, and we were yelling. that's when he punched me in the face and I fell down on the floor. Jesses mom then came home and saw me crying and then she started crying and she told me "he will never do it again", and that she was sorry that he did it to me?? The next morning my boyfriend's neighbors (two of his gangster friends) came over to jesses house, they looked like that "lowrider gangster" type, if that helps? They told jesse " "are you ready to go?", and then Jesse made me go with them. So we all got into this old, classic car, (like from the 60's?), it was teal/green, and was a low rider, ( I was sitting in the backseat). We drove around for a few minutes until we got to this house on the corner of the street. (I think the house number that i heard Jesse tell the driver was "318", if that means anything?? Thats when all of a sudden, jesse, (who obviously was pointing out which house they were trying to locate): the driver, Jesse, and the third guy (who had been in the passenger seat), all three jump out of the car, with it in neutral, and begin to open fire, shooting up the house and at the group of strangers outside the house.(who also, had immediately started shooting back). Basically,
The three men that id been riding with had literally left me in the backseat of a car that became the group of gangsters shooting target. I went to duck down onto the flooring of the cars backseat, and as soon as i did, the first bullet hit me in my left shoulder, from behind, and the shot was from a pretty distant range (remember, the car is in the middle of street, the shooters were across the street). I remember feeling my arm go numb, and i can remember thinking to myself (in the dream): "this is really IT", im gonna die!" And then the car all of a sudden begins to slowly roll itself forward, a few feet from the shooting, and while this is happening, i can hear the mens footsteps getting closer and closer to the car im inside of, i just KNOW that theyre coming to finish me off..
The car stops at the end of the road, which happened to be cul-de-sac road. One of the men reaches down into the backseat, yanks me out of the car, and throws me onto the pavement, face up. (The fact that IM not really seeming to even TRY to free myself/fight back at this point was quite shocking, too.)..i never once even look my shooter in the eyes. I turn my head to the right, and then he pulls out an assault firearm of some sort (like ak-47), and shoots me about 80 times point blank, right in my face/head.
Then all of a sudden, im now looking at my dead body laying on the street, its completely SILENT. no sound at all, ANYwhere.. all thats left of my head is the outer "shell" of it, and the rest is nothing but bloody pulp.
Someone (it was a females voice, and wasnt my voice) then says to me: "come on, girl, we gotta go".
I woke up.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34yrs old, Female, Texas/United States

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

Emma,
I am working on your dream and should have a final analysis either later today or late Thursday morning.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

Ok, thanks so much!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34/Female/fort worth, texas, usa

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

Emma,
A long dream but with a direct message. My analysis.

I have a strong sense from your dream of very strong inner anger related to a past experience or experiences that you have bottled up and need find a way to express. Your anger is not only toward the person or persons responsible for these emotions but also toward yourself. This inner anger has probably affected how you feel about yourself and possibly affected your self esteem. This anger is deep seeded and at times may be uncontrollable. The problem may be you tend to lash out at others instead of confronting the person/persons responsible. My sense the experience/experiences were from early life, probably childhood and may have continued over a period of time. Because we all are born 'whole' these experiences have negatively affected your ability to grow personally and psychologically. It is a major obstacle in finding peace, harmony and happiness in life.

There is little else I can add to the above, the message of the dream is direct {for me at least}. But I will provide my interpretation of the images/actions {dreams have a language of symbol and metaphor} so you can get an understanding to how and why I came to my analysis. The very last part of the dream and my analysis probably says a lot about your life as it is now and possibly why it is the way it is. The symbolic language of 'pulls out assault firearm' may be a direct reference to the reason for your anger. The person is probably a male and likely someone in your early life. The inner anger may have an affect on your relationship with your bf as well as the directed anger I mentioned earlier. If my analysis is correct then there is a great need to find a way to let this anger out {psychological counseling}.

There are likely elements of the dream that are focused on recent experiences {argue with bf} but the recent personal experiences {which would at least in part be motivated by the inner anger} is something only you would know. My expertise is in seeing the outline of the emotions and the energies that are their foundations {including personality traits and attitudes}. All dreams have at least two meanings/applications and while both are important to understand the underlying reasons/motivating energies are the most important. Identifying and resolving the inner issues will help resolve the personal conflicts.

Here is my analysis of the images/actions
-inside house-your inner emotions
-argument with bf-tensions in relationship with bf and/or conflict with self {animus}
-he accuses cheating-guilt response for compromising integrity/your values
-yelling-repressed anger
-he punched me in face-anger toward your ego self
-fell to floor-lose of control/support
-jesse's mom came home-nurturing masculine aspect/protecting oneself
-saw me crying/she started crying-release of negative emotions on different levels
-she told me she was sorry-emotional response to repressed anger
-he did it to me-animus energies taking control

-bf's neighbors/gangster friends-animus quality/conflict with negative aspect you have rejected
-came to Jesse's house-emotional relationship with bf
-lowrider gangster-negative aspects that come from foundations
-told Jesse ready to go?-ready to release emotions
-made Jesse go-unconscious release of emotions
-old car/back seat-being controlled by unconscious energies
-corner of street-lack of control {cornered}
-318-conflict within true inner self {9 is the true self-3 is conflict}
-60s/teal green/lowrider-physical self not experiencing personal growth
-Jesse pointing to house-abiding to animus qualities/following
-all 3 jump out of car in neutral-emotional release of original self
-open fire/shooting up house-expressing aggressive anger from inner turmoil
-group of strangers outside house- releasing emotions toward other people {besides known people}
-shooting back-experiencing guilt
-backseat of car/target-being controlled by ego response
-floor of the backseat-going down to foundations to angry emotions
-bullet left shoulder-unconscious anger related to original self {inherent aspects}
-arm go numb-inability to change attitude
-going to die-a need to change attitude
-men's footsteps-following masculine aspects/actual males in your life
-car end of road-blind to inner attitudes
-man throws you to pavement-animus qualities responding to foundations/paved response
-not fighting back-not letting real emotions be known
-not look at shooter in eyes-not facing anger/attitudes/person
-turn head to right-conscious reality
-pulls out assault firearm-possibly referring to an actual assault/firearm could be sexual symbol
-shoots 80 times in face/head- mental/conscious endless cycle of death {symbolic death}
-looking at dead body-dead parts of your psyche-conscious identity of self worth/esteem
-completely silent-numb/unable to express true self
-all left is outer shell-actual depiction of feelings about yourself
-female voice-emotional self
-"come on, girl, we gotta go"-both inner and outer self need to move on/progress

You can see from the number of images/actions the time it takes to analyze each one and then put it into context that fits with a pattern.

Jerry




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Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

WOW... all i can say is WOW...
Im completely amazed, omfg!!

Ok, um.. here goes..

I currently am seeing both a psychologist, AND a psychologist, for the past ten months. Mainly due to (shocker!): MY EXTREMELY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SUICIDAL TENDENCIES (which i started becoming suicidal beginning in the year 2011, up until now.

Why?? Basically, i literally went CUCKOO CRAZY, thats why. Mainly, it was the result of coming SOOO very close to losing my oldest son, when he was struck in my driveway by a pickup truck, back in 2011. He spent two days in the hospitals trauma center, and the doctors gave him 50/40% chance of recovering from it (when we had first arrived via ambulance). He ended up walking away from it without ANY kind of disability/permanent brain damage, at ALL.. my son had only been home FIFTEEN MINUTES from the hospital, when he was then TAKEN FROM ME, by a case worker from CPS(child protective services), who basically felt that i was a "neglectful mother", since my son hadnt had his helmet on while being on his scooter at time of accident, (WHILE HE WAS IN OUR DRIVEWAY, for chrisakes??!!!)

I didnt get to see, OR even SPEAK to my son for an entire ELEVEN MONTHS after that day.. and during that time, was when i became someone i never before knew existed.. i developed a huge amount of paranoia, along with the total loss of trust for ANYone in my life, including my own parents. I basically shut myself in that house and refused to go ANYwhere at ALL, period. For an ENTIRE year almost. It got so bad, that people would have to bring my groceries to me, because id developed so much anxiety and fear of leaving my own house!!

That was in 2011. Gladly, im able to say that things are nowhere near as horrible as they were back then, i still have the depression, the anxiety, and (at times, rarely) i do have days where i have my doubts as to why im even still here, and the feeling of not belonging here.

So now i see my therapist twice a month, and also take daily medication for the depression. My therapist believes though, that my self-hate and low self esteem DID NOT "just start" in 2011. She feels that it may have ALWAYS been there, since birth. Yes, i have been asked the typical questions like "were u ever abused?", etc, and I have always told her the HONEST truth: "No, i have not ever been sexually abused", because as far as im aware or as far back as i can remember, i havent.
So... when i read your interpretation, the hairs on my arms literally stood straight up and down, no lie.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34/f/texas

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

emma,
I agree with your analyst about when the emotional issues began. The incident with your son and the following experiences trigger the worst case scenario but the emotions were likely already within your unconscious. Sexual abuse isn't the only experience that would cause these negative emotions, psychological abuse is just as prevalent. What was your childhood like and the relationship with your parents? Depending on your DNA {what you are born with} and strength/weaknesses of the DNA characteristics you could have experienced 'mild' issues of psychological neglect that would have created a personality set for self destruct. Most often though it is something worse in childhood where the life is built on negative foundations. Im sure your analyst will get to those possibilities sooner than later. It would be great if your analyst used dreams as a tool since dreams are a direct link to the unconscious and the underlying issues and reasons for them. Of course it takes a trained dream analyst to interpret the images/actions. But even without this tool getting to the source of your emotional conflicts is how you will remedy them.

Note: If you will read the posted dreams, analysis and responses you will see how dreams can get to the source better than any other tool or method. What often takes months of therapy a trained/experienced dream analyst can discover within one dream.

Jerry




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Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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Re: my first dream where i saw my own death

That makes total sense.. thank you so much for all of your help with this.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34,female, fort worth

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} yes

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