Emma,
A long dream but with a direct message. My analysis.

I have a strong sense from your dream of very strong inner anger related to a past experience or experiences that you have bottled up and need find a way to express. Your anger is not only toward the person or persons responsible for these emotions but also toward yourself. This inner anger has probably affected how you feel about yourself and possibly affected your self esteem. This anger is deep seeded and at times may be uncontrollable. The problem may be you tend to lash out at others instead of confronting the person/persons responsible. My sense the experience/experiences were from early life, probably childhood and may have continued over a period of time. Because we all are born 'whole' these experiences have negatively affected your ability to grow personally and psychologically. It is a major obstacle in finding peace, harmony and happiness in life.

There is little else I can add to the above, the message of the dream is direct {for me at least}. But I will provide my interpretation of the images/actions {dreams have a language of symbol and metaphor} so you can get an understanding to how and why I came to my analysis. The very last part of the dream and my analysis probably says a lot about your life as it is now and possibly why it is the way it is. The symbolic language of 'pulls out assault firearm' may be a direct reference to the reason for your anger. The person is probably a male and likely someone in your early life. The inner anger may have an affect on your relationship with your bf as well as the directed anger I mentioned earlier. If my analysis is correct then there is a great need to find a way to let this anger out {psychological counseling}.

There are likely elements of the dream that are focused on recent experiences {argue with bf} but the recent personal experiences {which would at least in part be motivated by the inner anger} is something only you would know. My expertise is in seeing the outline of the emotions and the energies that are their foundations {including personality traits and attitudes}. All dreams have at least two meanings/applications and while both are important to understand the underlying reasons/motivating energies are the most important. Identifying and resolving the inner issues will help resolve the personal conflicts.

Here is my analysis of the images/actions
-inside house-your inner emotions
-argument with bf-tensions in relationship with bf and/or conflict with self {animus}
-he accuses cheating-guilt response for compromising integrity/your values
-yelling-repressed anger
-he punched me in face-anger toward your ego self
-fell to floor-lose of control/support
-jesse's mom came home-nurturing masculine aspect/protecting oneself
-saw me crying/she started crying-release of negative emotions on different levels
-she told me she was sorry-emotional response to repressed anger
-he did it to me-animus energies taking control

-bf's neighbors/gangster friends-animus quality/conflict with negative aspect you have rejected
-came to Jesse's house-emotional relationship with bf
-lowrider gangster-negative aspects that come from foundations
-told Jesse ready to go?-ready to release emotions
-made Jesse go-unconscious release of emotions
-old car/back seat-being controlled by unconscious energies
-corner of street-lack of control {cornered}
-318-conflict within true inner self {9 is the true self-3 is conflict}
-60s/teal green/lowrider-physical self not experiencing personal growth
-Jesse pointing to house-abiding to animus qualities/following
-all 3 jump out of car in neutral-emotional release of original self
-open fire/shooting up house-expressing aggressive anger from inner turmoil
-group of strangers outside house- releasing emotions toward other people {besides known people}
-shooting back-experiencing guilt
-backseat of car/target-being controlled by ego response
-floor of the backseat-going down to foundations to angry emotions
-bullet left shoulder-unconscious anger related to original self {inherent aspects}
-arm go numb-inability to change attitude
-going to die-a need to change attitude
-men's footsteps-following masculine aspects/actual males in your life
-car end of road-blind to inner attitudes
-man throws you to pavement-animus qualities responding to foundations/paved response
-not fighting back-not letting real emotions be known
-not look at shooter in eyes-not facing anger/attitudes/person
-turn head to right-conscious reality
-pulls out assault firearm-possibly referring to an actual assault/firearm could be sexual symbol
-shoots 80 times in face/head- mental/conscious endless cycle of death {symbolic death}
-looking at dead body-dead parts of your psyche-conscious identity of self worth/esteem
-completely silent-numb/unable to express true self
-all left is outer shell-actual depiction of feelings about yourself
-female voice-emotional self
-"come on, girl, we gotta go"-both inner and outer self need to move on/progress

You can see from the number of images/actions the time it takes to analyze each one and then put it into context that fits with a pattern.

Jerry

A Message From Gerald Forum Host/Moderator/Analyst Help Me Spay & Neuter Feed & Care MY Neighborhood Felines My Dream Analysis/Interpretations Are A FREE SERVICE If you wish to show your appreciation please contribute to my Feral Cat Rescue Fund Help Me Keep My Services FREE The cost of maintaining the DREAM FORUM, my websites and my dedication to caring for my neighborhood felines strains my resources I NEED YOUR HELP Please Contribute $1.00/$5.00...Any Amount You Can Give Use PayPal {Donate Button} or mail contribution to: Gerald Gifford 1876 Baylor Ct., Cocoa, Fl. 32922 Secure Payment with PayPal Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes Email   Oct 15th, 2015 - 9:50 AM emma Oct 15, 2015 - 3:53PM 162.236.26.201 Quote Reply Re: my first dream where i saw my own death WOW... all i can say is WOW... Im completely amazed, omfg!! Ok, um.. here goes.. I currently am seeing both a psychologist, AND a psychologist, for the past ten months. Mainly due to (shocker!): MY EXTREMELY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SUICIDAL TENDENCIES (which i started becoming suicidal beginning in the year 2011, up until now. Why?? Basically, i literally went CUCKOO CRAZY, thats why. Mainly, it was the result of coming SOOO very close to losing my oldest son, when he was struck in my driveway by a pickup truck, back in 2011. He spent two days in the hospitals trauma center, and the doctors gave him 50/40% chance of recovering from it (when we had first arrived via ambulance). He ended up walking away from it without ANY kind of disability/permanent brain damage, at ALL.. my son had only been home FIFTEEN MINUTES from the hospital, when he was then TAKEN FROM ME, by a case worker from CPS(child protective services), who basically felt that i was a "neglectful mother", since my son hadnt had his helmet on while being on his scooter at time of accident, (WHILE HE WAS IN OUR DRIVEWAY, for chrisakes??!!!) I didnt get to see, OR even SPEAK to my son for an entire ELEVEN MONTHS after that day.. and during that time, was when i became someone i never before knew existed.. i developed a huge amount of paranoia, along with the total loss of trust for ANYone in my life, including my own parents. I basically shut myself in that house and refused to go ANYwhere at ALL, period. For an ENTIRE year almost. It got so bad, that people would have to bring my groceries to me, because id developed so much anxiety and fear of leaving my own house!! That was in 2011. Gladly, im able to say that things are nowhere near as horrible as they were back then, i still have the depression, the anxiety, and (at times, rarely) i do have days where i have my doubts as to why im even still here, and the feeling of not belonging here. So now i see my therapist twice a month, and also take daily medication for the depression. My therapist believes though, that my self-hate and low self esteem DID NOT "just start" in 2011. She feels that it may have ALWAYS been there, since birth. Yes, i have been asked the typical questions like "were u ever abused?", etc, and I have always told her the HONEST truth: "No, i have not ever been sexually abused", because as far as im aware or as far back as i can remember, i havent. So... when i read your interpretation, the hairs on my arms literally stood straight up and down, no lie. Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34/f/texas Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} yes How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes Email   Oct 15th, 2015 - 3:53 PM Gerald Gifford-Dream Forum Host & Moderator Oct 16, 2015 - 12:08PM 184.88.104.25 Quote Reply Re: my first dream where i saw my own death emma, I agree with your analyst about when the emotional issues began. The incident with your son and the following experiences trigger the worst case scenario but the emotions were likely already within your unconscious. Sexual abuse isn't the only experience that would cause these negative emotions, psychological abuse is just as prevalent. What was your childhood like and the relationship with your parents? Depending on your DNA {what you are born with} and strength/weaknesses of the DNA characteristics you could have experienced 'mild' issues of psychological neglect that would have created a personality set for self destruct. Most often though it is something worse in childhood where the life is built on negative foundations. Im sure your analyst will get to those possibilities sooner than later. It would be great if your analyst used dreams as a tool since dreams are a direct link to the unconscious and the underlying issues and reasons for them. Of course it takes a trained dream analyst to interpret the images/actions. But even without this tool getting to the source of your emotional conflicts is how you will remedy them. Note: If you will read the posted dreams, analysis and responses you will see how dreams can get to the source better than any other tool or method. What often takes months of therapy a trained/experienced dream analyst can discover within one dream. Jerry A Message From Gerald Forum Host/Moderator/Analyst Help Me Spay & Neuter Feed & Care MY Neighborhood Felines My Dream Analysis/Interpretations Are A FREE SERVICE If you wish to show your appreciation please contribute to my Feral Cat Rescue Fund Help Me Keep My Services FREE The cost of maintaining the DREAM FORUM, my websites and my dedication to caring for my neighborhood felines strains my resources I NEED YOUR HELP Please Contribute $1.00/$5.00...Any Amount You Can Give Use PayPal {Donate Button} or mail contribution to: Gerald Gifford 1876 Baylor Ct., Cocoa, Fl. 32922 Secure Payment with PayPal Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes Email   Oct 16th, 2015 - 12:08 PM emma Oct 18, 2015 - 11:02PM 162.236.26.201 Quote Reply Re: my first dream where i saw my own death That makes total sense.. thank you so much for all of your help with this. Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34,female, fort worth Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} yes How Did You Find the Dream Forum? yes Email   Oct 18th, 2015 - 11:02 PM « back Return to Website  > Index stats from 7-14-10 to the present