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scary/depressing

Ive been very sad & depressed lately, and my boyfriend & I arent on the same page anymore. hes very insensitive & mean sometimes. Ive been looking for a job, no luck yet. i just feel like im wasting my life away. im not doing anything with myself & i might fail diversion because im smoking from being stressed and depressed, that now i cant pass a drug test. I keep having bad dreams about drugs, needles, cops, & im always running from something/someone trying to get me. but the dreams started to get worse after my shroom trip turned into a nightmare. im on the verge of tears just thinking about it. I was left alone, tripping, & the cat I started to play with started moving around in a demonic way & it felt like his bones were breaking. he was looking right at me & I got the idea that his body was moving in ways he wasnt forcing it to. his bones were glitching, like a ticking clock. I thought he was dying! I screamed & as I looked back he vanished. I ran out the front door to find my boyfriend & he took everything as a joe & didnt really care. I was so frightened that I had a panic attack & didnt even know it. the other night I had a dream I was Iin the woods at what I imagined to be my grandparents'. I was being chased by ghosts through the woods and in the huge house. I found a ghost in a jar & let it out because I thought it was good, but I think it turned out to be evil, I dont really remember. then I think someone had a wedding at the house, but no one was really there. it was very creepy, and scary. now I lay awake at night by myself because my boyfriend falls asleep before me every night, in less than 5 minutes sometimes. im still haunted by what I saw, I dont think ill ever forget that.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 20/female/new orleans

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Re: scary/depressing

Whitney,
My experience is in dream analysis. Your problems are from using psychedelic mushrooms which can cause the sensory issues you listed {altered thinking processes, closed and open-eye visuals and Synesthesia. Of course there could be {and likely are} underlying emotional issues {what dreams are about} that cause you to use drugs. Your relationship with your bf would add to the issues since he too has issues of his own and could be taking those out on you. Being chased by ghosts is a common dream action but could be projected through drug use. A possible meaning in dreams of ghosts chasing you would symbolize aspects of yourself that you fear, painful memory, guilt, or repressed thoughts {involving painful experiences earlier in life you do not want to remember}. The mushrooms could cause you to visualize these 'ghosts' since they can trigger unconscious sensors just as dreams do.

As for your dream. My sense is you have issues involving feelings of lack of security in your early life/childhood and projecting those onto others in the present {your bf being a good candidate}. If you go bad to your childhood and look at your family, parents and life in general there are probably issues with a bad home life and possible psychological or/and physical abuse. You could be projecting issues involving these insecurities onto your bf {a usual experience when you need someone to help you feel secure later in life}. Painful memories would be the ghosts that are chasing you {and the insecurities related to them}. Using drugs and bad relationships would be a substitute for what was not received as a child. These are psychological issues that would need therapy to resolve. But first you must stop talking drugs as a crutch and get away from relationships that would continue to cause damage to you emotionally.

Here is how I interpreted the images/actions from your dream {I provide these with most dreams I analyze}. To better understand dreams and how they function I suggest you read my page A Simple Guide to Dreams.

-woods-a symbol for the unconscious
-grandparents-a need for security and protection/experiences related to real grandparents
-chased by ghosts-aspects of yourself that you fear, painful memories, guilt feelings, or/and repressed thoughts {involving painful experiences earlier in life you do not want to remember}. Being chased can represent being chases by your insecurities.
-through the woods-past experiences stored within the unconscious
- huge house-the house is you, your emotional self. A huge house would represent strong emotions/emotional energies
-ghost in a jar-painful emotional experiences that you let out/project out onto others {your bf may be someone you project your insecurities onto in hopes he will help resolve them}
-thought is was good/turned out to be evil-the problem of projecting your insecurities onto others {caused by earlier bad experiences}
-wedding at house/no one really there-represents negative emotions related to commitment {past experiences where commitments were unfilled and possible projection of those onto others later in life-no one was there for you early in life and no one is there now in your present relationships}.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65 Cocoa, Fl

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