Anonymous,
Your dreams are trying to communicate emotional issues/conflicts in order to get your attention. Once that is achieved it is left to the dreamer to reconcile the issues and find resolution. That involves a deep psychological examination to determine exactly what energies are motivating your behavior, personality type and attitudes. We know your early childhood 'indoctrination' of seeing your mother's abusive relationship with your father but just how that plays out in how it affects you must be examined. Once all this is known you are better able to reconcile the energies and resolve them. You will need to break the cycle of 'inherent' behavior and find in your life the ability to make proper choices in future relationships. Resolving the childhood issues will allow that.

As for what parts led me to the abusive father/negative male attitude. The dream begins by pointing to nurturing issues and abilities to provide protection. Sensing/seeing her abilities from personal experiences as a child {as a young child you learn to sense long before you begin to cognitively understand} and what you saw/sensed as a child was an inability by your mother to remedy the abusive relationship with your father {your mother was probably in the same position as you as a child}. From the opening of the dream I could determine this developing pattern {the opening of the dream normally states what issues the dream is trying to communicate}.

It was the third scene where the 'masculine' aspects began to show themselves. As an experienced dream analyst I can read the outlines of a dream but seldom point to exact personal experiences. Developing masculine aspects would, on one level, point to experiences with a male or males in your life. The repeated time and again experiences furthered the developing patterns from the first scene, pointing to the involvement of masculine aspects {without specifically pointing to experiences with a male or naming a person}. This is standard stuff a dream analyst encounters and from Jungian concepts and the vast experience working with dreams I've learned how to discern the developing patterns. Plus I have a lot of personal experience with relationships {as well as developed people skills} that allow me to better sense what direction to look for and fit the pieces together. It is an intuitive feeling that allows me to understand developing patterns. In your dream I could see there were nurturing issues {with mother} and with the entry of masculine aspects and the 'driving past the site again and again' I could begin to put two and two together and sense the real nurturing issues were more about repeated experiences of inter-replay between your mother and masculine aspects. Deducing the best possible scenario and you get repeated actions between your mother and a male with the best possibility of that male being your father {keep following me and you will see how the pattern continues to develop}. These masculine patterns were developing in you, your bf and brother adding to personal experiences {intuitively sensing the personal experiences} and men.

The fourth paragraph led me to believe in 'collective' {corporate} positions. Add this to your mother's experiences and masculine aspects {but still without naming a personal experience with a male} and I got shared 'collective' experiences between you and your mother {and grandmother?}. The influencing experiences of insecurities was a clue to your own insecurities {images/actions in dreams are clues to the dream message and patterns of behavior}. The bank machine pointed to 'mechanical' emotional insecurities {automatic response influenced by childhood experiences}.

The fifth paragraph continued to follow the developing pattern of automatic emotional responses. The dog is the physical self and the tendencies/attitudes of the dreamer. The toy was a clue to childhood experiences {a matter of deduction-the toy could fit with many other possibilities}. But it fit with a developing pattern I sensed from the beginning of the dream. this is important because if an image doesn't fit a pattern something is not right with the pattern analysis. The flow of the dream must fall into place to make a coherent statement which describes a patter of behavior. The man {masculine aspects/real person} with the lake {unconscious} with the dog {attitudes} had landed on the floor {your basic foundations from childhood}. A continuation of the developing pattern I sensed and one that fit with that pattern.

The seventh scene began to point to actual male experiences and the past. The 'corporate' events are again referenced which fit the pattern of collective experiences. You had access to this type event as a child {using actual work experiences but a metaphor for actual experiences as a child seeing the mother/father abusive relationship}. You are unconsciously motivated/taunted by these experiences and as an adult naturally follow the pattern {of abusive relationships} you witnessed as a child. You are in an inferior position as well as possessing an inferior attitude/position to men. It all fits the pattern you 'learned' as a child, a pattern I sensed without having any personal knowledge of these experiences. This is how dreams can reveal unconscious contents in a very short time, whereas normal therapy can take months to get to this vital information.

The 8th paragraph finalized the pattern. As a child you witnessed a submissive mother and thus have the same traits/attitudes. Many people want to dismiss early life experiences as having this power to influence. But with the new science discoveries in psychology {development of Jungian concepts by others} as well as neurology we know even infants have an ability to sense and know, well beyond what we thought the a child is born with a blank slate and a lesser ability to learn. Your early life experiences were the foundations for psyche structuring as are all early life experiences. It is what we grow up with, what we learn, what influence who we become later in life. There are many other 'ingredients' that come into play as to how a person turns out {twins can lead entirely different lives} but our dreams will reveal how the individual life evolved. Your dream points to a specific pattern, one that fits your actual conscious life. The odds of possessing these developed attitudes are greater for all children who grew up in this type of environment but not so strict one child could be different in their evolution and how those early life experiences affected later life. The influences are the same but the evolution can be different due to substance within DNA, other personal experiences and so on.

Back to paragraph 8. The 'sexual' energies would denote the sex of the male and not just sexual aspects {were there any sexual experiences early in life that would come into play? This dream doesn't list any}. The many different positions could allude to sexual contact but could also represent many different situations of personal experience {abusive relationships in general, your mother's and your own}. I do look at this type of dream statement with suspicion because it does seem to be direct and the first thought would be of sexual aspects {any reference yo a penis would be}. But it does not fit the overall pattern unless it is interpreted as shared experiences {showing many different positions}, many types of penis {referencing the male sex} and being submissive to men in general {abusive relationships}. The charity meaning is 'giving of yourself' which could fit both possibilities. But the pattern we are following and then one that strongly developed { and fits your waking life} is about abusive psychological relationships. Unless of course there was physical sexual abuse involved. In that case the dream may have ended on one note {psychological abusive relationships} and future dreams would elaborate on any other abusive experiences {sexual}. Was there any elements or types of sexual abuse by your father on you or your mother?

Jerry

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Hi Gerry, many thanks for your detailed analysis again. I'm well familiar with the theory of childhood programming which I've done my best to study over the last year or so. As for the sexual abuse I don't remember or feel that I saw any of this on my mother by my father but what I did see was the constant fear in her , fear of his violent outbursts and the control he had over her. i remember around the age of 7 or 8 running to get help from the neighbours when one of their violent rows broke out in a desperate bid to stop it, my father also suffered from mental illness and depression and had been treated by phsyciatrists for his mood swings and anger. I have been in more than one verbally and sexually abusive situations in my younger adult years which I know I've carried throughout my life but I'm learning to deal with it one step at a time.

I have another dream to post, hope you don't mind

Hope you had a good Christmas and thanks again for your input.

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Anonymous,
Your early life environment no doubt is a primary reason for your later life issues with relationships. What is learned in early life becomes the foundations for personality and personal attitudes as an adult. Learning to deal with the issues is an important step but understanding why is as important. A total examination of your childhood and the environment in which you grew up will provide insights to your personality and why you have trouble in having stable relationships. If you grow up with an abusive father then the pattern often carriers over to adult relationships with the same type personality. That is what you grew up with and the tendencies will push you toward unconsciously entering into the same type relationships. Other factors such as neurology/DNA enter into the equation since some people who have similar childhoods do the opposite. But the pattern you exhibit is common and expected. The goal is to break the pattern so you can have a good relationship and a normal life. It is psychological and that is what you need to look at in resolving the issues.

Jerry

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