Hi Gerry, many thanks for your detailed analysis again. I'm well familiar with the theory of childhood programming which I've done my best to study over the last year or so. As for the sexual abuse I don't remember or feel that I saw any of this on my mother by my father but what I did see was the constant fear in her , fear of his violent outbursts and the control he had over her. i remember around the age of 7 or 8 running to get help from the neighbours when one of their violent rows broke out in a desperate bid to stop it, my father also suffered from mental illness and depression and had been treated by phsyciatrists for his mood swings and anger. I have been in more than one verbally and sexually abusive situations in my younger adult years which I know I've carried throughout my life but I'm learning to deal with it one step at a time.

I have another dream to post, hope you don't mind

Hope you had a good Christmas and thanks again for your input.

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Anonymous,
Your early life environment no doubt is a primary reason for your later life issues with relationships. What is learned in early life becomes the foundations for personality and personal attitudes as an adult. Learning to deal with the issues is an important step but understanding why is as important. A total examination of your childhood and the environment in which you grew up will provide insights to your personality and why you have trouble in having stable relationships. If you grow up with an abusive father then the pattern often carriers over to adult relationships with the same type personality. That is what you grew up with and the tendencies will push you toward unconsciously entering into the same type relationships. Other factors such as neurology/DNA enter into the equation since some people who have similar childhoods do the opposite. But the pattern you exhibit is common and expected. The goal is to break the pattern so you can have a good relationship and a normal life. It is psychological and that is what you need to look at in resolving the issues.

Jerry

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