Anonymous,
My sense of your dream probably can be derived from the dream title. Powerful beauty goes wrong-over compensating for a lack of self identity. You grew up in a home where rigid authority denied you of a true self identity and in your adult life you are over compensating for what is lacking. You may be projecting what is lacking onto others to the point you are too rigid in your own judgement {as your parents were with you}. This is a defensive mechanism, compensating what was lacking in the building of your personality and personal attitudes.

There does seem to be a recent change in these developed attitudes from childhood {the scene changes}. The ho'oponopono in many ways is like Jung's Individuation Process excpet it seeks to resolve issues by working with outer relationships rather than the inner relationships with your self. An inner search for healing. Instead of healing physical illness you are needing/wanting to find healing in your psychological self. In this process you may have discovered a release mechanism that has allowed you to feel free of the inner injuries but this is either a temporary thing or a false assumption. Such techniques of confession and apology can help in the short term but the inner psychological reasons still remain. You are feeling powerful and confident {self confidence is a lacking quality in your personality} on the outside by following the rituals but because the inner psychological symptoms remain you are merely strangling yourself for a lack of true inner healing. The idea that resolving issues with family may help but it does resolve the inner issues {in your dream there are 'sorrowful expressions and I can feel the energy of sadness for this event' which would involve issues with your mother and active resolution of dispute with her}. It may be the practice of ho'oponopono is the image of the your bf and the Audi. These represent the physical body and relationships with an emphasis on self worth through reconciliation with those you have a dispute with {your family}, there is still the question of getting your true self {the car is you} back, resolving the underlying psychological aspects that were imprinted on your psyche in childhood. Thinking your bf {in the dream} was going to comfort you is believing in/practicing the ho'oponopono but in fact is suffocating you because it only addresses part of the problem and not the central issue {psychological}. The ho'oponopono is a positive technique in certain situations but does not solve the deeper issues related to the psychology of the person. It doesn't intend to hamper the deeper inner needs {not its intention} but does by accident prevent true healing since the focus resolving the outer relationships and not the inner psychology. The waking feeling is real, you are having difficulties in breathing because the inner aspects still remain {resolving the inner emotional energies}.

Note: I do request a response to my analysis. My services are free and a response is the least that can be given. A contribution of any amount to my Kitty Fund would be appreciated but not required.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Hi Gerry

Sorry that I did not reply, I have been off line for some time. The overcompensating you detect is correct. I felt unloved as a child, as lots of children do , I grew up in a rigid volatile house and I have carried this throughout my life. I feel loved only when the outer of me looks well enough and I feel the complete opposite when the 'outer' is not ok. I believe my suppressed depression and sadness has affected me in the physical and when I look at my physical face, I believe it is the representation of depression in symbolic and physical terms. I have looked for love and acceptance with my boyfriends most of my life because that was the only way i could 'feel' love and acceptance. It's now starting to 'suffocate' as you say, which I would say you have hit the nail on the head with that. I have felt some changes in my spiritual quest for resolution of my unconscious energies and the dream had a powerful positive feeling to some extent. I practice ho'oponopono to clean the unconscious mind, memories and debts of the soul because it's seems an easier option for me. I've tried other processes But they make me frustrated and I have quite a hard time understanding dreams also so, I leave it up to the divine as that is part of the process, clean and release. I love the work of the Jung, I first got interested in his work when I wanted to understand why the same life patters kept repeating over and over again, then I found the term synchronicity which led me to Jungs work. I was clueless about the spiritual realm and the impact of unconscious energies until I found Jung. Thanks for your work Gerry, I wished I wasn't so blocked off from understanding my dreams.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 33