Jimmy,
My sense of this dream is you are {not consciously} reverting back to those inherent attitudes that come from the basic foundations of early life. In other words the rejected aspects that need to be exposed/overcome {friend in dream} are 'sneaking' back into your conscious life because of their unconscious power to do so. Those underlying energies still exist. What are these rejected aspects? I sense it has to do with power and control. The power to be your true/natural self and being able to control that path of getting there. If you look to your childhood and early life you will see reasons for this, relationships with family and cultural that go against who you really want to be/were meant to be. Your recent journeys are how you are trying to resolve this, finding a way to 'balance' {bike} your desire for personal/spiritual growth with those inherent attitudes you grew up with. Inherent attitudes may make it difficult to focus on more than one aspect at a time in self discovery and being your true self.

As for no longer having the passion for your dreamwork because of focusing on your writing, this would go back {at least partially} to those inherent attitudes from early life. Writing is a creative and positive aspect {an outlet of expressing your true self} but because it is what is the 'expected' thing that needs to be done, it fits into that inherent part of your psyche that abides to what is expected, at the expense of exploring and becoming your true self {what dreams intend do}. These are the underlying and controlling energies from early life, what you grew up with and are so hard to get rid of. You consciously do not want to pressure yourself in finding a passion for your dreamwork because you are inherently used to a linear path, the underlying energies seeping through into your waking life. This is usual in all our lives even after we begin to discover the true self, the controlling energies being fixed and having power over our conscious actions and attitudes. You will have to discern what early life issues there are to understand the issues of power and control before you can totally remove their ability affect your conscious life.

Also there is the possibility that dreamwork is revealing unconscious aspects that the conscious ego doesn't want to recognize because it removes the ego as the controlling agent in your life {the ego/inauthentic self will fight for control}. The element of guilt may be the guise to deny the unconscious its right to reveal itself via your dreams. If the ego self can make you feel guilt then it has done its intended goal of diverting your attention away from the unconscious contents that will reveal/lead you to your true self.

Of course there is also the possibility that your writing does require more of your time. It is the primary outlet for expressing yourself. But likely there are the above elements I listed that are involved also. I often wish to be able to solely focus on my dreamwork but because of my caring for my felines {and responsibilities owning/maintaining a home} I have to 'balance' my responsibilities with my true desires. Society {doing what is expected} never totally disappears in life {perhaps possible with earlier generations but not in today's world} and the need to balance the outer world responsibilities with the inner world desires is essential. I keep this in mind when pressured by one or the other/or both, not letting myself get stressed from the pressures. Staying the path, being the true self }creative and spiritual} is how I have learned to live life knowing there will always be obstacles in doing this. I am able to do this because I have reconcile the unconscious energies/negative attitudes. Those attitudes no longer have control. They are bits of experience I can use as wisdom but have little input in staying the path of the 'hero journey'. When I do encounter doubt from the pressures I merely 'use the Force', the helping hands that are always available when the journey is inward focused.

In summary my sense from the dream is you are encountering the unconscious energies that were developed from early life where the ego is using those to do its work of undermining your progress in your personal and spiritual growth. This is a usual 'hero' experience that requires overcoming a difficult situation in life. Joseph Campbell often said life is about trials and revelations. Something is thrown at you as a test and how you handle it determines the level of progress you are making in your journey to wholeness. This could very well be a test, finding ways to balance your life to include all aspects without losing your ability in living life spiritually and being your true self {where the laws of Karma rule}. Below is a link with an exert of Campbell's The Power of Myth where he talks about following your bliss. This is the true self, living life out of the creative/spiritual aspects.

Ep. 1: Joseph Campbell and the Power of Myth — ‘The Hero’s Adventure’.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Jerry,

Thanks for your response. It has been a bit provocative as well as insightful. I feel as if I am surrounded by a mist right now. It is not clear how I should act and what the desired outcomes are with those around me. I guess I am converging with my old selves that I rejoin with by returning here to my family home. The way people know me is still as what I was and in many ways it feels like I have never left. I am not sure what the path to growth is right now and I realise that in some ways I have not been thinking about it at all.
With my writing it is part therapeutic and it feels right whether it is philosophy/psychology prose or my poetry. I feel that this is the direction my heart flows fullest. This is how I felt doing my dreamwork for most of my time in Canada but now its passion has shifted to writing. In a way I feel the way in which I was doing dreamwork had become unhealthy and imbalanced I was prepossessed by it which is a good way to learn a skill but not so much in living a balanced life. My stopping was a decision to follow my heart rather than my mind. Instead of my ego's drive to reach the bottom of my dreams and to understand and complete the journey I realised that this could never be accomplished if I ignored my heart which was tense in my determination with dreamwork. I decided to write and this seems to sing to my heart and so though in a way I think that my dreamwork is more important I can only abdicate to the dictates of my heart for that is what I have taken from dreamwork is that I cannot be master only faithful servant to the dreamweaver. I take it that if I follow my heart it will lead me to my ocean eventually. Still I do not want to lose touch with my dreams and every night I still capture them but my work with them has grinded to a halt. Perhaps I can start a more balanced approach to them as a side project and so I shall be able to retain this hotline to the depths for right now I feel a little out of touch with my dreamlife. For the same reasons I feel it would be wrong to try to force a passion for dreamwork as this is one of my pitfalls my mind/ego tries to decide where to go but now I am trying to take the lesson I have learned from my dreams that I must follow my heart's desires and not my egos even if that has taken me away from dreamwork.

Thanks,
Jimmy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23; Ireland (returned home from Canada and Australia)

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes 25-December Tears with my Mother

Jimmy,
I get a sense you are at an impasse after your trips abroad. You were in a different world just as you are when you are dreaming. Returning to reality can be a shock of sorts and throw you off. You are being tested. Following your passion for writing is the path you need to focus your energies. To be your true self and do what your soul desires {vs the ego world of social duty/responsibilities}. Take the experiences from your trips abroad and expand on those in your writing. Depending on what area of writing you work with those experiences should provide new energies. Don't let the old norms derail your efforts and path. That is the test. Staying the path no matter what.


As for dreams. Dream work can assist you in self discovery which can open you to new ideas but don't worry about it if you have to put them on a back burner. Your dreams will let you know when they need your attention. Otherwise they are reflecting your life as it. Use them as a resource when needed or if a particular dream stands out seeking attention. I don't analyze all of my dreams, only those where the energies stand out. The unconscious mind of someone who is on the 'hero journey' is tuned in to the 'other world' and when summons you will know to take special notice of the dream. The monomythic hero journey is a state of mind and being and when you cross the threshold of not being afraid of being your true self you put yourself on a plane of higher being. I always turn to Joseph Campbell for inspiration since he was the master of myth and the hero world.

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: The hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Hero With a Thousand Faces

You have been on one of those adventures. Use that to move forward and progress. Put your efforts towards your writing and the adventure.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Jerry,

I had not thought of it this way. I had been a little anxious about not doing my dreamwork and fearful of leaving the path but I am enheartened by your words and I shall keep my ears open for the dreams which desire me to hear them. I still turn my eyes to the dreamworld every day and night and so I have no doubt that if a dream calls to me I will hear it and heed it. For now I guess I shall allow this quiet time. It does seem to me the right thing to be following my heart into my creative pursuits but I had worried that in turning my attention away from my dreams I would be less able to know where I was going astray as I could pick up in active work with dreams. And finally as ever I am truly inspired by the words of the sage it is a reminder constantly that there is something more important about following my bliss than the realist world of the everyday which is far more present in my life since my return would have me believe.

Thanks,
Jimmy

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 23; Ireland (returned home from Canada and Australia)

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes 25-December Tears with my Mother