Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
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Abusive ex sex dream

Hi guys,

I've never posted here before, I wondered if anybody could help me interpret a recurring dream..

Content note:sex/abuse/sexual assault.


So, I keep having a recurrent dream about my ex boyfriend. This guy was physically, mentally, emotionally and sexually abusive towards me for years. We are no longer in contact since he has been prosecuted for domestic violence, but he still uses services and agencies to harass me (police/social services) by making ridiculous accusations that obviously I then have to prove to be false.
So he's still kinda lurking in the background.

I have a new partner of nearly a year now. Anyway, I keep having a dream about me being asleep in bed and my partner spooning me. So it gets a bit rude and we start having sex (still spooning). But when I turn around to kiss my partner, it's not my partner, it's my abusive ex. He's looking at me real smug, he knows that he's tricked me into sleeping with him.
I get very distressed and start screaming and crying, feeling (rightly) violated and he continues to stare at me with a smug/evil grin on his face. I feel this awful sense frustration and desperation at the fact that I cannot get rid of him, he will not go away.. And then I wake up.

Does anybody have any idea what this dream could be trying to tell me?
I would very much appreciate a response from whomever feels they can shed light on it,
Thankyou.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25/female

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Re: Abusive ex sex dream

Anon,
As usual the dream has a two fold message {all dreams have at least two meanings/applications}. The experience with your ex and his abuse has left a deep impression on you and may be causing doubts about relationships in general. This could be more unconscious than conscious but it is in the back of your mind {one application of spooning would be his position to your back/conscious experiences with him imprinted into the back of your mind}.

Another possible aspect, and as important as the abusive relationship with your ex, would be the deeper issues related to intimacy and relationships. My sense of the dream images is they are pointing to neglected aspects developed in early life where you had experiences of being 'taking advantage' of emotionally by 'intimate' persons {intimate meaning very close}. There could have been experiences involving your parents that relate to these unresolved, unconscious intimacy issues {intimacy between your mother and father}. Or there could be issues of 'being violated' in earlier life by a male person. Those type experiences also tend to influence decision making, unconscious energies that motivate you when it comes to relationships.

Quite often early life impressions of abusive behavior by parents {or a male person in earlier life} turn into motivating factors in choosing romantic relationships. You would be acting out what you learned as a child, following the imprinted influences you witnessed when you were very young {younger}. If there was this type of relationship between your parents, or abusive experiences at the hand of a male, then this analysis would fit and would need resolution. Otherwise the unconscious energies will continue to influence you when it comes to relationships and could be a barrier to having a strong relationship wit the right guy.

Here is how I interpreted the images/actions.

First Paragraph
-asleep in bed-unconscious aspects related to intimacy
-partner spooning me-unconscious conflict with partner
-rude/having sex-prime energies that bring about integration of conflicting aspects
-kiss my partner/not my partner-not accepting neglected aspects
-abusive ex-past issues of being taking advantage
-tricked me into sleeping with him-unconsciously driven to what is opposite conscious desires

Second Paragraph
-get very distressed-affects of unconscious stress from life experiences
-start screaming and crying-strong emotional release
-feeling violated/he continues to stare at me/evil grin-actual feelings of being violated that continue from earlier negative {evil} experiences
-sense of frustration/desperation can't get rid of/will not go away-past experiences that cause these feelings you can not get away from {unconscious}

Note: I do request a response to my analysis. My services are free and a response is the least that can be given. A contribution of any amount to my Kitty Fund would be appreciated but not required.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Abusive ex sex dream

Hello-I had to chime in on this because I have experienced DV in my twenties. The dream expresses your fear about this abusive man you dealt with and clearly don't want to have the situation occur again. One thing I learned to do is integrate my abusive ex, hence the spooning situation in your dream. Integrating basically means, learning from your abusive ex. What did you learn from that situation? In my case, I learned to speak up for myself, anything else is disrespectful to myself. I integrated the fact that I allowed another person to make me feel less than worthy to speak up for myself by tolerating his behavior. I should have walked away years before. The fear comes from not knowing if I was strong enough to forvever speak up and express my boundaries with the next one. We must be honest with ourselves and admit when we don't have total confidence in ourselves -as in not allowing a man to trample us. This way we don't manifest two faced partners. When we have feelings in our subconscious that are negative, this incubated energy comes to us in our partners as reflections to make corrections. So this explains the two faced nature of your dream-started spooning with nice current guy, then turned into ex which represents your fear of not knowing if you've truly learned your life lessons. When you know for sure within yourself you will never allow bad treatment from anyone, this dream will cease. Also, show yourself extreme kindness and love, nuturing thoughts. Hope this helps. I'm 40 now and it took me years to lose the fear. Only after I learned to set boundaries and do that without feeling guilty did my fearful dreams stop. Good luck. Know and believe your existence is valuable, no matter your occupation or what you've been told in the past. Honor your femininity.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 40/female

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