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Help me!!! dreams of an awful ex!!

Can anyone help me with this?? My ex and I divorced 5 years ago. We were only married for 4 years. It was 4 years I wish I could erase from my life. I have 2 wonderful kids from a previous relationship. He mentally and verbally abused us. I kicked him out and we started our own life. I did very well as a single mother. I learned a lot about myself and became a stronger person because of going through that expensive with him. I have since moved on and 5 months ago I married a fantastic man. He so good to myself and the kids and I couldn't ask for a better best friend.
HOWEVER.....since my divorce from the terrible ex I still continue to have dreams about him. It started at a frequency of about 1 dream everyother month and now I have one about once a week. In every dream I'm married to him again and spend the entire dream trying to get away....again and again. All dreams have a different setting but same plot...we are married and I'm trying to get away. Also I've always been a person that has a hard time remembering dreams but I can remember everyone of these dreams.
I haven't seen him since the day in court when it was finalized and I don't want to see him.
I struggle with guilt for ever allowing myself to be with a person like that. Someone who could treat us the way he did. Maybe that's it? I don't know.
If anyone knows how I can put this to rest please tell me. This is eating me up. Thank you so much in advance.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 female

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Re: Help me!!! dreams of an awful ex!!

Lav5,
Two possibilities to the dream I would look to as to why you are having these dreams. One would be the residual affects of the abusive relationship with your ex. You are still 'married' to those emotions and have yet to completely get away from them. Marriage in dreams often represents {dreams have a language of symbol and metaphor} being committed to something and because of the past abusive relationship you are trying to get away from {emotionally} you are committed to not only that but a better marriage in your new relationship.

It is the second possibility/probability of the dream that is more important. The dream language of 'being married again and trying to get away', plus a different setting but the same plot points to something deeper. You are married to emotions of the same kind/plot which could point to other earlier experiences of mental/physical abuse in your life. What was your childhood like? If there were issues in childhood {perhaps not as traumatic but with enough emotional energies to cause a conflict} then those issues are still in conflict. You are still married to them and trying to get away. Because these are dreams you do remember, and because they are becoming more frequent, there may be recent experiences that have caused these emotional experiences to resurface. Have you recently had experiences or contact with people from your childhood that could have prompted the frequency of the dreams? All of a sudden you are 'married to him' again which could point to a resurgence of your past {before the abusive marriage} and issues related to those experiences. All dreams are addressing more than one issue in the dreamer's life, usually more recent emotional experiences {example: a conflict with a person at work} as well as deeper issues from earlier life where there were conflicts. Only you can know the details of those experiences {beyond what you have provided}.

Note: I do request a response to my analysis. My services are free and a response is the least that can be given. A contribution of any amount to my Kitty Fund would be appreciated but not required.


Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 65

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Re: Help me!!! dreams of an awful ex!!

That does help and thank you!! At this point I can't think of anything (meaning before my relationship with him) that could be a part of this dream. At least not that I can put my finger on just yet. Can it possible be guilt? Mainly because I'm mad at myself for putting up with it? I don't know. But if anyone knows of anyway to get through this I'd love suggestions. And not like " hey just let go".....trust me that doesn't just work....at least not for me.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 34 female

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