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cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

In my dream, my mom and my siblings were in her house. We were looking at toy house models in the upper kitchen cupboards. My brothers said how about the bigger house with 4 bedrooms for all us (that's how many bedrooms my mom's house has). I thought that was a good idea because I thought the toy houses were in inflatable form or other material not as heavy or large as my mom's real house. But other family members said it was too big and I saw a glimpse of it outside that it was too big. I may be forgetting details in between, but then my mom said it was illegal ot have forsting making instruments in your house, but she already had the frosting making metal, cone devices installed all along top of inside of cupboards so it got by. She didn't call it frosting, but forsting came out of the device like the frosting devices for cake decorations when she talked about it. I didn't understand why the point was of the frosting device when I saw it coming out of thre cupboard. Then, my family was sitting on couches in the family room while I was sitting down at kitchen table next to them (this is often how I sit since there are not enough space in family room for everyone and I am the only one without kids or family to sit with). My deceased grandparents walked across the kitchen by me all dressed up...my grandafther was wearing his military suit (he served in WWII). Although my grandmother didn't notice me, my grandfather made eye contact with me with a smile, but his eyes didn't move. I was happy to see them appear. They headed straight to my mother who was sitting on the couch. Behind her, my grandmother handed her what looked like my father's coat, but it could have been my grandftaher's coat since they had similar coats. At this momemebt, my grandmother asked my mom what she needed help with. She may have offered to iron the coat, but I'm not sure. My grandmother was always cleaning and ironing.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: female/USA

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

I forgot to add that my mother is currently remodeling her bathroom which has cupboards, but she has recently compared it to the cupboard remodeling she had done in her kitchen a decade ago...the quality of the carpenter work.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

*bump

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
Please fill out and submit the Dream Submission Form and I will analyze and interpret your dream.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

In my dream, my mom and siblings were in her house. We were looking at toy/miniature house models in the kitchen cupboards. My brothers suggested the bigger miniature house with 4 bedrooms for all us (that's how many bedrooms my mom's house has). I thought that was a good idea because I thought the miniature houses were in inflatable form or another material not as heavy or large in form as my mom's real house. But other family members said that miniature house was too big. When I saw a glimpse of this miniature house outside, it turned into a big house



I may be forgetting some details of the dream, but then my mom said it was illegal to have instruments in your house that make frosting (or dessert). However, she already had metal, cone devices installed all along top of inside of cupboards (so the frosting could get by building inspection (although it wasn't installed on purpose). She didn't call it frosting, but frosting came out of the device like the frosting instrument for cake decorations when she talked about it.



Then, my family was sitting on couches in the family room while I was at the kitchen table in the room next to family room (this is often how I sit since there isn't enough space in the family room for everyone). My deceased grandparents walked across the kitchen past me all dressed up...my grandafther was wearing his WWII military suit. In real life, the war was too painful to discuss, but he was proud of his service. Although my grandmother didn't notice me like she did in real life, my grandfather made eye contact with me with a smile as he walked toward my mother in the family room. It was usually my grandmother who smiled at me, not my grandfather. It could just be that he was a more serious person



I was happy to see them appear. My grandmother handed her what looked like my father's coat behind her, but it could have been my grandftaher's coat since they had similar coats. At this moment, my grandmother asked my mom what she needed help with. My grandmother may have offered to iron the coat, but I'm not sure. My grandmother was always cleaning and ironing.



I forgot to add that my mother is currently remodeling her bathroom which has wood cabinets like her kitchen cabinets/cupboards. She recently compared the quality of the carpenter work for the bathroom cabinets to the kitchen cupboards/cabinets she had remodeled/installed a decade ago. The carpenter work for the kitchen cupboards/cabinets was higher quality than the bathroom cabinets.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,

Received your Dream Forum Submission and will work on your dream today. But i do need to know your age before I can provide a final analysis.



Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

30

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
I am working on your dream. here is a 'preliminary' analysis of the first two paragraphs {breaking down the images/actions}. The dream seems to be focused on your mother and that relationship but to what extent is yet to be determined.

Dream Title
Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat
Images/Actions
-cupboards-hidden aspects/truths
-model house-archetypal self?
-frosting-seeing things on an external level
-grandparents-love, security, wisdom and protection
-coat-protective layer


Dream
In my dream, my mom and siblings were in her house. We were looking at toy/miniature house models in the kitchen cupboards. My brothers suggested the bigger miniature house with 4 bedrooms for all us (that's how many bedrooms my mom's house has). I thought that was a good idea because I thought the miniature houses were in inflatable form or another material not as heavy or large in form as my mom's real house. But other family members said that miniature house was too big. When I saw a glimpse of this miniature house outside, it turned into a big house

Images/Actions
-mom/siblings in her house-relationship with mother/her relationship with siblings
-looking at toy/minature house models-focused on small part of relationship/archetypal
-in kitchen cupboards-hidden emotions related to nourishment
-brothers suggested bigger minature house/4 bedrooms-needed aspects that provides wholeness/relationship with siblings associated with mother
-inflatable minature houses/not as heavy-inflated emotions that need to be released
-other members said minature house was too big-making too much of emotional energies
-saw glimpst of outside house/turned to big house-outer self reacting to inner emotions/energies



Dream
I may be forgetting some details of the dream, but then my mom said it was illegal to have instruments in your house that make frosting (or dessert). However, she already had metal, cone devices installed all along top of inside of cupboards (so the frosting could get by building inspection (although it wasn't installed on purpose). She didn't call it frosting, but frosting came out of the device like the frosting instrument for cake decorations when she talked about it.

Images/Actions
-mom said it was illegal have instruments that make frosting-contrary to norms/covered by ego self
-she already had metal, cone devices installed-strong/influential emotions energies
-along top of inside of cupboards-with hidden aspects
-get by building inspection-hidden so not to cause/preventing negative conscious attention
-didnt call it frosting-not understanding unconscious energies
-but frosting came out of device-mechanical actions/re-actions on an external level
-when she talked about it-abiding by internal emotional energies

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
here is my analysis of the images and actions from your dream. i will provide afinal analysis tomorrow. Had to take one of my cats to the vet for a skin condition and could not finish the analysis. The breakdown of the images/actions may help you understand what is going on 'inside' psychology {that is what dreams do}. My final analysis should help tie it to your life in the present tome.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat
Images/Actions
-cupboards-hidden aspects/truths
-model house-archetypal self?
-frosting-seeing things on an external level
-grandparents-love, security, wisdom and protection
-coat-protective layer


Dream
In my dream, my mom and siblings were in her house. We were looking at toy/miniature house models in the kitchen cupboards. My brothers suggested the bigger miniature house with 4 bedrooms for all us (that's how many bedrooms my mom's house has). I thought that was a good idea because I thought the miniature houses were in inflatable form or another material not as heavy or large in form as my mom's real house. But other family members said that miniature house was too big. When I saw a glimpse of this miniature house outside, it turned into a big house

Images/Actions
-mom/siblings in her house-relationship with mother/her relationship with siblings
-looking at toy/miniature house models-focused on small part of relationship/archetypal
-in kitchen cupboards-hidden emotions related to nourishment
-brothers suggested bigger miniature house/4 bedrooms-needed aspects that provides wholeness/relationship with siblings associated with mother
-inflatable miniature houses/not as heavy-inflated emotions that need to be released
-other members said miniature house was too big-making too much of emotional energies
-saw glimpse of outside house/turned to big house-outer self reacting to inner emotions/energies



Dream
I may be forgetting some details of the dream, but then my mom said it was illegal to have instruments in your house that make frosting (or dessert). However, she already had metal, cone devices installed all along top of inside of cupboards (so the frosting could get by building inspection (although it wasn't installed on purpose). She didn't call it frosting, but frosting came out of the device like the frosting instrument for cake decorations when she talked about it.

Images/Actions
-mom said it was illegal have instruments that make frosting-contrary to norms/covered by ego self
-she already had metal, cone devices installed-strong/influencial emotions energies
-along top of inside of cupboards-with hidden aspects
-get by building inspection-hidden so not to cause/preventing negative conscious attention
-didnt call it frosting-not understanding unconscious energies
-but frosting came out of device-mechanical actions/re-actions on an external level
-when she talked about it-abiding by internal emotional energies

Dream
Then, my family was sitting on couches in the family room while I was at the kitchen table in the room next to family room (this is often how I sit since there isn't enough space in the family room for everyone). My deceased grandparents walked across the kitchen past me all dressed up...my grandfather was wearing his WWII military suit. In real life, the war was too painful to discuss, but he was proud of his service. Although my grandmother didn't notice me like she did in real life, my grandfather made eye contact with me with a smile as he walked toward my mother in the family room. It was usually my grandmother who smiled at me, not my grandfather. It could just be that he was a more serious person

Images/Actions
-family sitting on couches in family room-total self having clear thinking about family relationships
-I was at kitchen table in next room-aspects related to nourishment/emotional support
-this is often how I sit-actual experiences/emotions in family situations
-deceased grandparents walked across all dressed up-emotions related to grandparents/current experiences related to those emotions
-grandfather wearing WW11 suit {real life too painful to discuss}-emotional issues related to family that are painful to discuss/think about
-grandmother didnt notice/grandfather made eye contact with smile/walked toward mother-
giving attention to painful emotions with strength and positivism
-he was more serious-being objective

dream
I was happy to see them appear. My grandmother handed her what looked like my father's coat behind her, but it could have been my grandfather's coat since they had similar coats. At this moment, my grandmother asked my mom what she needed help with. My grandmother may have offered to iron the coat, but I'm not sure. My grandmother was always cleaning and ironing.

Images/Actions
-happy to see them appear-recognizing the unconscious energies
-grandmother handed her what looked like father's coat/grandfather's coat-conforming to inherent norms of parents/grandparents
-grandmother asked mom what she needed-what emotional support is required
-grandmother offered to iron coat-unconscious energies reflecting need to create orderliness


Dream Associations {from dream post}
I forgot to add that my mother is currently remodeling her bathroom which has wood cabinets like her kitchen cabinets/cupboards. She recently compared the quality of the carpenter work for the bathroom cabinets to the kitchen cupboards/cabinets she had remodeled/installed a decade ago. The carpenter work for the kitchen cupboards/cabinets was higher quality than the bathroom cabinets.


Images/Actions
Although this is a comment on actual experiences about real carpentry work it may point to a higher need to understand particular negative and hidden emotional energies as it is to how you feel about current experiences

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
I apologize for taking so long a time to finish my analysis but I hope you will see what is involved in thoroughly analyzing a dream with my final analysis. It is long and detailed.

Dream Title: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Images/Actions
-cupboards-hidden aspects/truths
-model house-archetypal self?
-frosting-seeing things on an external level
-grandparents-love, security, wisdom and protection
-coat-protective layer

Analysis
I see associations related to fears/concerns about your mother's health but there are other aspects related to 'motherhood' in the dream. The dream title {often an unconscious note of the overall dream statement} points to 'hidden' aspects to do with 'mothers' {your mother and possibly you as a mother} and being a 'model' parent/mother. This may have to do as much with what is expected/needed as a child {specifically your childhood} from a mother, something that may have been lacking in your childhood and something you {as a mother} may have concerns/issues with. Your grandparents would represent {beyond the personal relationship which is also a part of the dream} aspects related to security and protection. Was your relationship with your grandparents different from those with your parents?

Dream/Opening Paragraph
In my dream, my mom and siblings were in her house. We were looking at toy/miniature house models in the kitchen cupboards. My brothers suggested the bigger miniature house with 4 bedrooms for all us (that's how many bedrooms my mom's house has). I thought that was a good idea because I thought the miniature houses were in inflatable form or another material not as heavy or large in form as my mom's real house. But other family members said that miniature house was too big. When I saw a glimpse of this miniature house outside, it turned into a big house

Images/Actions
-mom/siblings in her house-relationship with mother/your and her relationship with siblings
-looking at toy/miniature house models-focused on small part of relationship/archetypal
-in kitchen cupboards-hidden emotions related to nourishment
-brothers suggested bigger miniature house/4 bedrooms-needed aspects that provides wholeness/relationship with siblings associated with mother
-inflatable miniature houses/not as heavy-inflated emotions that need to be released
-other members said miniature house was too big-making too much of emotional energies
-saw glimpse of outside house/turned to big house-outer self reacting to inner emotions/energies

Analysis
The opening paragraph {which will usually lays out what the dream is about} points to the relationship with your mother and siblings with the emotions related to that focused on your mother {her house}. In real life as a child the house you lived in was small and probably crowded. The miniature house in the dream would address that aspect but also may focus on one particular aspect of the family relationship. The kitchen is where food is stored and prepared and thus would point to nutrition, emotional nutrition. The cupboards are where things are kept out of site, thus pointing to something hidden {unconscious emotional energies}. What was lacking was room for proper {the number four represents wholeness} as well as more room for the whole family {the literal aspect that was lacking in your childhood}. Due to the circumstances to do with your parents {as you noted in your Dream Submission Form} there was never enough 'nutrition' to go around for the children from your parents. The emotional energies that come from these childhood experiences are 'inflated' to a point where they take on a motivating effect on your psyche. In your adult life these experiences/energies too a great degree affect your personality and personal attitudes. You may have made these experiences too much of who you are as an adult/mother, the family relationship as a child {you} influencing who you are as an adult and mother. As an adult these childhood conditions {miniature/crowded house lacking proper emotional nutrition} has become a large issue.

In summary of this opening statement I can see the issues you noted about concerns related to your mother's health. The hidden issues to do with death and dying is a common thing not to be thought or talked about. A proper response is needed when issues with this comes about {your mother's condition} and having to think about such things can be taxing with all the other concerns in life.
But there are deeper issues in play as well {as there is with all dreams, every dream having levels/layers of emotional issues}. These issues seem to have to do with mothers in general and possible proper nutritional/nourishment love. You noted the lack of caring from your parents in your childhood and the fact they argued all the time. It does seem to be a closer relationship with your mother and a mother's influence on a daughter is always instrumental in how the child turns out in adulthood. Look at yourself as a mother {I am assuming you are a mother} and the current family relationship with husband and children and see how that plays with your own childhood. There may be similar experiences, traits your mother possesses that influenced you and/or you possess as a mother.

Dream/Paragraph Two
I may be forgetting some details of the dream, but then my mom said it was illegal to have instruments in your house that make frosting (or dessert). However, she already had metal, cone devices installed all along top of inside of cupboards (so the frosting could get by building inspection (although it wasn't installed on purpose). She didn't call it frosting, but frosting came out of the device like the frosting instrument for cake decorations when she talked about it.

Images/Actions
-mom said it was illegal have instruments that make frosting-contrary to norms/covered by ego self
-she already had metal, cone devices installed-strong/influential emotions energies
-along top of inside of cupboards-with hidden aspects
-get by building inspection-hidden so not to cause/preventing negative conscious attention
-didnt call it frosting-not understanding unconscious energies
-but frosting came out of device-mechanical actions/re-actions on an external level
-when she talked about it-abiding by internal emotional energies

Analysis
Anything illegal is contrary to normal behavior. Your childhood was lacking the instruments that are required in childhood due to the abnormal experiences related to your parents. Your mother may have wanted to provide more but was limited in being able to do so. The inspection may have been related to your father, your mother having to use other means {illegal in it was something she did without your father's approval} to provide more than was available or allowed. She had to hide this and call it something other than what it was to get around your father's notice.

In the above the issue was what was taking place in your childhood. Because your dreams are about your emotions the experiences of your mother in the above would have a major influence on you as an adult and mother. You are her, acting on an external level that abide by the internal influences you experienced as a child. Again, how does this play into your current life as an adult?

Dream: Paragraph Three
Then, my family was sitting on couches in the family room while I was at the kitchen table in the room next to family room (this is often how I sit since there isn't enough space in the family room for everyone). My deceased grandparents walked across the kitchen past me all dressed up...my grandfather was wearing his WWII military suit. In real life, the war was too painful to discuss, but he was proud of his service. Although my grandmother didn't notice me like she did in real life, my grandfather made eye contact with me with a smile as he walked toward my mother in the family room. It was usually my grandmother who smiled at me, not my grandfather. It could just be that he was a more serious person

Images/Actions
-family sitting on couches in family room-total self having clear thinking about family relationships
-I was at kitchen table in next room-aspects related to nourishment/emotional support
-this is often how I sit-actual experiences/emotions in family situations
-deceased grandparents walked across all dressed up-emotions related to grandparents/current experiences related to those emotions
-grandfather wearing WW11 suit {real life too painful to discuss}-emotional issues related to family that are painful to discuss/think about
-grandmother didnt notice/grandfather made eye contact with smile/walked toward mother-
giving attention to painful emotions with strength and positivism
-he was more serious-animus aspect of being objective and not emotional {this may fit your grandfather's personality}

Analysis
In this part of the dream there are the family issues with the separate issue to do with nutrition/nourishment {you are in a separate room}. And there is the appearance of your grandparents. I sense this part of the dream is differentiating from your parent's attitudes {especially your father}, a different and positive relationship with your grandparents, opposite that of your parents. A lot has to do with emotional attitudes as opposed to objective thinking. It is your grandfather who you made eye contact {with a smile} which may suggest you made a connection with his attitude. In summary 'he' may be pointing to the need to be objective in your approach to life and family and less emotional. Or, because it was your grandmother who usually smiled in real life, his symbolic smile made two smiles and thus pointed to a need to look at them as a 'model' for your life. This would also address the issue of dying, your concerns about that being a part of the emotional issues playing on you. In that aspect the smile would represent a positive approach, objective and not overtly emotional.

Dream: Paragraph Four
I was happy to see them appear. My grandmother handed her what looked like my father's coat behind her, but it could have been my grandfather's coat since they had similar coats. At this moment, my grandmother asked my mom what she needed help with. My grandmother may have offered to iron the coat, but I'm not sure. My grandmother was always cleaning and ironing.

Images/Actions
-happy to see them appear-recognizing the unconscious energies/the related issues
-grandmother handed her what looked like father's coat/grandfather's coat-conforming to inherent norms of parents/grandparents/wisdom as well as love and support
-grandmother asked mom what she needed-what emotional support is required
-grandmother offered to iron coat- energies reflecting need to create orderliness

Analysis
The paragraph opens with your being happy to see your grandparents. This re-enforces the positive aspects I noted in the previous paragraph. My sense is your mother possessed qualities/traits similar to your grandmother's and your father was more like your grandfather {coats looked the same}. Your personality and attitude would fit with your mother/grandmother absent the overtly emotional aspects {your grandfather being the objective one}. You are conforming to what was learned in childhood from your parents and grandparents. On one hand there was the father who was the neglect parent and the stern grandfather who may not have been as bad but who believed in a regimented life. On the other was your mother and grandmother. Your grandmother was always cleaning and ironing {added info in a dream post can be as important as the actual dream content} which may suggest she did what was required, to the point she gave up what she desired. Your mother may have had more of an independent personality but retained much of what was deemed as 'needed' as a mother and wife. The issues between your mother and father may have stemmed from her doing only partially what your father wanted {opposite your grandmother giving in to what your grandfather wanted}. Your personality may be even more 'rebellious' since your mother's attitudes had a great influence on who you are as an adult.

Dream: Final Paragraph
Dream Associations {from dream post}
I forgot to add that my mother is currently remodeling her bathroom which has wood cabinets like her kitchen cabinets/cupboards. She recently compared the quality of the carpenter work for the bathroom cabinets to the kitchen cupboards/cabinets she had remodeled/installed a decade ago. The carpenter work for the kitchen cupboards/cabinets was higher quality than the bathroom cabinets.


Images/Actions
Although this is a comment on actual experiences about real carpentry work, it may point to a higher need to understand particular negative and hidden emotional energies as it is to how you feel about current experiences. Looking at the overall dream I see less of a focus on your mother's health as I do with mothers in general. Issues you grew up with as a child and how that plays out in adulthood. You may need to {or even feel a need } 'remodel' your attitudes to eliminate the negatives {you formed as a child}. I sense this has as much to do with your family life in the present, your position and attitudes, as it does anything else. There are the fears of losing your mother but more than that the fear of losing the guidance she provided, recent and in childhood. I would look to situations in current relationships to determine what is similar to your past and the negative attitudes that need to be 'remodeled' so to find a better way in your life.

Your response will help with better understand in the dream I have more to work with than I did in the old format but there are still limitations. Your thoughts will help with getting to even more understanding of the dream message.

Jerry



Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Lately, I’ve been wondering why I didn’t get along better with my mother when I was younger since I love her and need her so much now. I did have a rebellious attitude as a teenager…more so than others. I guess I felt over controlled since my father spied on me and was always plotting ideas into my mom’s head about things he accused me of doing that I didn’t do. He was very suspicious always snooping in my mom’s room and my room looking for something. I also didn’t understand why he blamed messes he made in the house on me when he knew he did it so my mom would get mad at me instead of him. He had childish temper tantrums and threatened to kick us kids out on the street when the youngest me (grew up) so I always felt like he was watching my body for physical signs that I grew up. He didn’t seem to appreciate anything in life so he made everyone’s life miserable. He refused to spend money on vacations or any recreation that cost anything and only wanted to stay home. Due to this, I have limited childhood experiences. My mom often tried to hide it when she spent money on the kids for necessities like school clothes or supplies. I know that she wanted to provide more for the kids, but my father interrogated her whenever she did. I always felt embarrassed when she made a scene in front of the store clerk repeating that the few school clothes were my birthday present. I usually wore my sister’s old clothes although she was shorter than me so her clothes didn’t fit me right. I’m reminded of this memory whenever my mom or sister buys my nieces expensive dresses for multiple school dances throughout the year. I wasn’t able to go to these dances because I didn’t have any dresses and couldn’t get any if I asked. I always felt like I wasn’t worth spending money on. I think I have this one memory of drawing a picture for my grandmother of a sucker my mom bought me at a store because I was so surprised that she spent money on me. To this day, it makes me mad when I see my dad wearing clothes with holes in them like a homeless man since that’s how he expected us kids to look. I’m not married, but I would have a major problem with a spouse keeping track of my expenses and ordering me what to do taking away my freedom. This may be a reason why I don’t want to get married.


Because my parent’s house was so crowded to the extent of not being able to go to the bathroom often when needed, I strongly prefer tolive alone to have my own bathroom and the space I craved. Since my mom used my bedroom to separate from my dad, I didn’t have a bedroom of my own and slept in my older sister’s bedroom at night. She hated me for going to bed early or having to sleep with me at night. My mom had more space growing up since she was the only child. I secretly wished my parents divorced because my dad drove me crazy with his negative outlook, but I knew my mom was too ill to work or make it on her own.


Although my grandfather was frugal with his money for savings, once in awhile he still spent money on vacations and recreation to enjoy life. He also had a close or healthy relationship with my grandmother. I admire how protected he was of his family unlike my father. I also liked how my grandfather had a hold on his emotions and didn’t have childish temper tantrums like my father. However, he used to become violent and scare my mom when she was kid after he acquired a drinking problem from being in WWII. But I knew him after he recovered from this problem.


I don’t think any of my siblings felt love as kids. My father doesn’t know how to love and mom was always too stressed out to really enjoy anything or us. My parents never told us they loved us or hugged us. I heard my grandmother was the same way to my mom while she worked in a factory when my grandfather was away in WWII. She was more focused on making money than being a mom, but I think she enjoyed being the breadwinner. I didn’t know this colder side of my grandmother. My grandmother is the one who made me feel loved by the special look she gave me each time she saw me. In contrast to my parents, she let us pick out whatever we wanted to eat or clothes to buy when we stayed at her house for a week during summer vacations. She cared what we thought and gave us a choice without requiring approval. A big problem growing up for me is that my parents never seemed to care what I thought and they didn’t give me a choice. I was always ordered what to do. I think that’s why I don’t care for authority today.


Currently, I don’t have any kids. Some of the best times of my life have been with my nieces doing the things I never got to do when I was a kid. It probably just seems like an ordinary day to my nieces so I wouldn't tell them what a good time I had. I have another niece from another sibling which money is tighter. I don’t have much money myself, but when I take this niece out and she wants something in the store, it’s hard for me to say no. I felt guilty after I said no after awhile when she picked out several things at a toy store. A store clerk pointed out something extra to go with the toys I bought, which made me mad for putting pressure on me. I said no to that toy. Then, my niece asked to go to the candy store next door (it was her birthday) and I let her pick out all the candy in the store that she wanted. To see the look on her face like she’s worth it reminded me of my sucker memory. I try to give my niece the same look of love that my grandmother gave me. If I had a child, I think I would have a problem with saying no because the feeling of neglect sets in. I also would want to travel around the world with my child to give him/her more experiences/knowledge of the world.


It makes sense that I’m afraid of losing my mom’s guidance or advice on matters I don’t have experience in. Maybe I have a feeling that I can’t make it on my own?


Does this information help clarify the dream better?

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
I appreciate the detailed response. It provides insights not only to what your dream is trying to communicate but also on my analysis. I read the first paragraph and can see the correlation between the dream and my analysis. I quickly read parts of the rest of your response but have not done so in depth. I will do that tomorrow and provide a detailed response. I do want to say that this is how we discern what the dream message is about and what emotional issues are in conflict in your life. A posted dream, an analysis, a response and follow up dialog. Dreams are not the great mystery they once were and a trained analyst using Jungian concepts {I consider myself being such a person} can analyze and interpret any dream, with the help of the dreamer. Having more information about the dream from the Dream Submission Form {as opposed to having just age and gender under the old format} allows me/the dream analyst to connect the images/actions in the dream to the dreamer's personal life, as well as with the underlying energies that form/motivate the dreamer's personality and personal traits {something I could determine from having the age and gender only}.

Jerry

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,

I can see correlations between your response, my analysis and the dream. I will comment on whole dream and your response. There are issues to do with mother as well as related issues to do with grandparents. The lack of space and privacy is evident as an issue in the dream and your life {miniature house} but other aspects that could be as important are not clear or not evident, particularly the relationship with your father {his spying on you and his snooping in your mother's things}. It could be this dream is not focused on those issues.

As a child you wished for more room and privacy. Because the home was so crowded and you lacked privacy and your own space, this has become an 'inflated' aspect/issue of your emotional life {note: this demonstrates how early life experiences follow us throughout life until/unless they are resolved psychologically}. This is a 'bigger' issue than it would have been if your early life had been different {words matter in a dream and are usually applicable in some form to your emotional self}. The glimpse of the miniature house has turned into a big house which would address the issue of wanting/needing more space as a child as well as being a 'big' house, or big issue as an adult {houses in dreams are symbolic of the dreamer-the house is the dreamer}. The experiences and effect probably has a lot to do your desire to live alone as an adult, having the space you always wanted/craved as a child/teen. Your siblings being in her house would point to shared experiences {with you} of not feeling being loved.

Let me note the beginning of a dream {see Dream Structure} usually lays out what the primary focus of the dream is about. The miniature house is how you felt as a child/teen in relationship with space/privacy and limited growth because of the restricted space and issues with parents. Later on in the dream the grandparents become a part of the dream. Their inclusion would not only point to aspects of your relationship with them but also statements about the contrast being them and your parents. Those contrasts would be a part how you feel today and how you act and react to situations in life {as with the experiences with your nieces}.

The second paragraph seems to be a commentary on aspects of the mother relationship in her trying to provide 'extra's denied by your father. This would point to emotional energies within you as an adult in. Your comments about not having children and the experiences with your siblings could be related to this part of the dream. Specifically your comment in your response, "If I had a child, I think I would have a problem with saying no because the feeling of neglect sets in" would have to do with your experiences as a child, the neglect you noted and the feelings that sets in. This also demonstrates the large impact that early life experiences/influences has on actions later in life. This is important not only because it allows us to understand how important early life experiences/influences are on the psyche but also how I approach dreams and the importance of early life. I believe every dream in some form is commenting on early life even though it may be a lesser issue in the context of the dream. All dreams have many levels and addresses more than one aspect of the dreamer's emotions. Childhood experiences/influences are most important in forming personality and personal traits in later life and those aspects that are 'out of balance' will be the topics of our dreams.

Then your grandparents appear in the dream. It was in the context with your family sitting on couches in the family room while you were in a separate room, the kitchen. Kitchens are were nourishment is prepared and your grandparents all dressed up may point to positive aspects you received from them. The dream notes your grandfather was his 'regimented' self {in uniform}. His making eye contact to you may point to the 'regimented' state of mind you possess about parent/family issues. He walked toward your mother which mother which would point to aspects in that relationship. The statement about it being your grandmother who usually smiled at you may point to the mother relationship, your grandmother being more of a mother in many ways.

You were happy to see them appear. This would be statement not only about the positive feelings you have toward them {especially opposed to how you felt about your parents} but also about traits you possess because of that relationship or you should have.

Your emotions related to your mother and not knowing where you will live in the near future may point to some sort of dependency on your mother. In the last paragraph of the dream your grandmother asked your mom what she needed help with. In dreams the interactions between other people sometimes represent interactions between you and the other person {or another person}. Your grandmother is always cleaning and ironing which may represent always cleaning up after your mother and helping in ironing things out. Would that describe your relationship with your mother in the present time? The remodeling you noted in your dream post may relate to what you will need to do in your life when your mother passes. The carpentry work may be symbolic of confronting and overcoming your obstacles related to early life and readjusting your attitude after your mother is gone. Bathrooms are where you eliminate unwanted/unneeded aspects and the kitchen cabinets would point to hidden aspects related to nourishment. Eliminating what was installed previously is not as easy as building it {if proper nourishment was installed as a child there would be no need for eliminating the bad work in childhood.

In summary I do see the dream as addressing the deeper issues of childhood. This is precipitated by recent experiences associated with your present relationship with your mother and fears of losing her. There is the need to reconcile the childhood wounds because you will be on your own without the proper tools to be in that position. It is a psychological issue that probably requires clinical help.

I still have questions about your father and his actions of spying on you and your mother. Was that merely his childish attitude or could there be more to his actions? His attraction to your development invites suspicion but could be a part of his helplessness as a person and father. Something to consider and what may be the focus of other dreams.

Jerry

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Thanks for the in depth analysis.

In response to always cleaning up after my mother and helping in ironing things out, she has had lots of issues with remodeling contractors or other issues I tried to help her get through. But I've had lots of issues in my life that she has helped me get through.

In response to my father's spying, I think it's related to a mental illness such as a paranoid/suspicious personality by him believing that people are always up to something or hiding something (maybe because he was always hiding something). I spent my childhood always having to defend myself against his accusations. He also has a sex addiction problem and led a double life. My mom told my sister and I that he did inappropriate things to us when we were babies, but a counselor didn't say anything when she mentioned it so she didn't do anything. Right after I graduated from high school, I overheard him talking on the phone to this woman he was having an affair with. I heard him laughing (which was odd for him) as I walked by his bedroom with the door closed so I stood and listened outside the door. He told this woman he was planning on selling our house, but my mom didn't know about it.


Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
If you will post a future dream that involves your father we may be able to delve deeper into your psyche and see if there is anything there that relates to possible very early life experiences. Dreams have many levels and always at least two interpretations/applications. The frosting instruments symbols could point to looking at things on a superficial level with the need to delve deeper in order to find the truth {frosting covers a cake and hides what is beneath}. The miniature house that needs to be larger may also point to something that is smaller in your memory and needs to be expanded. If your mother said your father did something inappropriate when you were very young {real memories in life begin at age 4-5} then there may be something hidden that needs expanded research to get at. Such occurrences/experiences could have a negative effect on your personality and attitudes in adulthood.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Thanks for the additional feedback. What kind of negative effect could this type of occurrence/experience have on one's personality and attitudes in adulthood? I don't know if I ever had a dream about my father that I remembered. I have been confused why my mom let my dad treat her or treat us the way he did. If I was her, I would have given him the silent treatment or left the room each time he accused me of something. What I really wanted her to do is stand up for me or protect me, but I know it would cause my father to have a temper tantrum. Since I was the youngest, I was the only one left in the house for him to treat this way when my siblings moved away to college.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Also, could the frosting instruments symbols pointing to looking at things on a superficial level with the need to delve deeper in order to find the truth be realted to something other than my father and it is a negative thing whatever it is?

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
To the negative effects hidden aspects/experiences could have on the psyche. In the early years of life a child senses what is not natural without knowing the actual reasons why. If there were experiences where your father did something inappropriate they could be imprinted in your psyche and have a negative effect. Usually there are related experiences later in life that would re-enforce the earlier experiences. The matter of trust could become an issue {re-enforced by your dad's awkward behavior} . We know even in the womb a child senses their outside environment. Personality and traits are basically formed by age nine and the early years are the most important since it is during those years the development of sensory takes place.

As for not having dreams about your father. It could be those memories and experiences have been pushed back into the deep unconscious. If there were 'traumatic' negative experiences during childhood the psyche could use a defensive mechanism {Freud's theory of repression} to repress the experiences. My thoughts are, if your father did inappropriate things to in your earliest years and had sexual issues, perhaps he continued these inappropriate things later in your childhood. Those negative experiences could be repressed because they are so emotionally traumatic. Of course this is only speculation and should be considered only if sometime in your adult life memories begin to surface {or in dreams} of such experiences. And they will surface if they are real, usually at midlife when physical and psychological changes are a natural part of life.

To the reasons why your mother acted as she did in the relationship. We may have to examine her life to get to those reasons. Not standing up to protect you could have their roots in her childhood. There are many possibilities to why. Plus your father having a bad temper would play into the reasons why. It would be a good idea to talk to your mother about these things if possible {her mental condition allowing}.

The frosting instruments could very well point to superficial levels that point to a need to delve deeper. Whether it involves your father or something else. Do you suspect something else?

Jerry


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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

I don't suspect something else, but I was wondering if it had to be negative. I mean could something hidden ever be positive? Could a dream like this mean I'd like to research my family or recall my childhood experiences? Or does it just mean something is hidden from my earlier years that has been repressed. I guess something you feel the need to repress must be negative?

I had this strange experience with a hypnosis counselor years ago. I only saw her once and never saw any counselor again because it wasn't a good experience. I can't even remember why I saw her in the first place. She told me that my father had a nickname for me and I was calling myself by this nickname. But I felt wide awake the whole time like I wasnt hypnotized and didn't remember saying this or calling myself this name while I was talking to her so I thought she was making it up to get more sessions out of me.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
Most likely it would be negative. There would be little reason to repress positive aspects. If in fact the hypnosis did take hold and you revealed a nickname you did not remember then that would indicate there are things within your unconscious you do not remember. Both dreams and hypnosis are direct links to the unconscious. Nicknames can indicate an intimate relationship, sometimes given so to cover up something about the relationship that could be negative. Taking your father's personality and the bad relationship you had with him {and the negative attitude he took toward you} there would need to be an explanation why he would give it to you. Also, the nickname is something you don't remember which would indicate it was either repressed {along with other experiences} or you were too young to recall it {or both}.

Why did you believe the counselor may have told you something that may not have been true. You stated you felt she wanted to get more sessions out of you. Was there a reason beyond that you felt she wasn't being the professional she should have been? Was it a school counselor or an independent counselor?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Florida

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

This was an independent counselor I saw an ad for in a nonprofessional newspaper. I really didn't like her personality before she hypnotised me... if she even hypnotized me.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

I had a dream about my father last night, but it was short.



My sister and I were on couches facing each other on opposite sides of the family room watching TV while my father was sitting in the kitchen eating. In real life, my father usually watched TV from the kitchen table while he was eating so he was paying attention to what was on the TV. This was a video showcasing all the highlights of this adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls (I can't recall if it was the same boy character or several boy characters, but it was taken from the same TV series or movie). My sister watched it intently, while I was bored or distracted. I thought the video was cheesy. I don't know why I dreamed that I wanted to remove unwanted body hair from my breasts, but my father could see me from the kitchen and I needed privacy. So, I was waiting for him to leave the kitchen. I was focused more on that than the video. I decided to cover my breasts with a bathrobe or some type of blanket to hide them from him so I could remove the hair. At this time, my father got up from the kitchen table and left the room or area. He said something before he left, but I couldn't either hear him or forgot it when I woke up. I continued removing the hair.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Disinterested is probably a better word than bored when watching the video.

Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Anonymous,
This dream seems to be focusing on the issues with your father and the attitudes you have developed from those experiences. The issue of privacy looks to be the primary issue. There could also be issues with men in general because of the relationship with your father. Personal privacy may be a part those issues as well. These attitudes need to be understood and the negatives need to be resolved because they do have motivating energies in your life. These are important issues not only because of the privacy aspects but also because they do involve foundational attitudes involving men.

Having said that there could be deeper issues that involve your father. The dream only hints that these possibilities, the robe/blanket covering your breasts possibly pointing to repressed/hidden aspects {robe/blanket covering up these issues}. The comments involving 'the highlights of this adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls' could hint at sexual issues. But it is not clearly stated in the dream {as analyzed}.

Do you have a sister? The dream states you are facing each other on opposites sides. Are there issues where you and your sister disagree or is this purely symbolic language {if you don't have a sister}.


Here is my interpretation of the images/actions

-sister and on couches facing each other on opposing sides of family room
^^confronting shadow conflicts related to feminine aspects/finding resolution
^^opposing views with sister related to family issues
-watching tv-aspects you are currently thinking about/motivate your life
-while father was sitting in kitchen eating-emotional healing related with father/issues that are eating at you {unconsciously motivating conscious attitudes}
-video showcasing highlights of adolescent boy's first sexual moments with girls
^^aspects from past focusing on developing inner masculine attitudes toward females
^^related to real life experiences?
-sister watched intently-unconscious shadow self awareness
-while I was bored/distracted-conscious self indifferent/unaware
-video was cheesy-unpleasant past experiences
-wanted to remove unwanted body hair from breasts-bringing to consciousness aspects related to physical nourishment/bringing out unconscious mental thoughts
-father could see me from kitchen/needed privacy-developed unconscious masculine attitudes
-I needed privacy-aspects that need to be exposed/attitudes related to personal privacy
-waiting for him to leave kitchen-bringing unconscious attitudes to conscious understanding
-more focused on that than video-more focused on current developed attitudes than what caused them/earlier past experiences
-decide to cover breasts with robe/blanket to hide them from him-unconscious issues that are hidden from consciousness
-so I could remove hair-remove unconscious attitudes
-father got up from kitchen table/left room-leaving developed masculine related to needed nourishment/lacking these aspects
-he said something before he left-past experiences that left an impression

Jerry

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Re: cupboards, model house, frosting, grandparents, coat

Yes, I have a sister. She is very unforgiving about the past while I'm just trying to forgive and forget.


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