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Re: Grammar School

Thank you for your reply.

To answer your question about relationships, I don't really allow men to get very close to me emotionally. I am very guarded and don't maintain relationships for longer than three months. After that initial getting to know you phase, the newness and excitement wears off for me and I end things or force an ending in order to move on to the next "new" relationship. The longest relationship I did have was 2 years. It was a good relationship but I wasn't in love with that person. I'd even resigned myself to the prospect of being married to him and and having a good marriage based on friendship. However, I moved to a different state for work and as with most long distance relationships, it didn't last long after my move. I wasn't overly upset. I was very sad that I lost a very good friend. In fact, I didn't even cry about it. Maybe a couple of months later I started dating someone else. That person turned out to be abusive so I got out of it. Since then I have avoided any real relationship aside from occasionally going out to dinner or drinks.

As for the significance of the age of 13, I had to really think about this. I realized that this was during the time that I was learning to close myself off to the outside world. I was different from my classmates and friends. I liked classical music, I read books, I used so-called "big words" and they just didn't get me. Because I was different, I was bullied a-lot. I started to realize I couldn't let everyone in. This belief because more solidified by the time high school was over. It's a practice I adhere to with everyone, including my family.

Hope this helps!

Thanks again,
S

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 39/F Chicago, IL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} 10/31/16

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Grammar School

Sophia,
The two probably have much to do with each other {short relationships/cutting yourself off from people at age 13}. I sensed the relationship conflict. The fear of punishment in some way likely goes to deeper emotions from early childhood where the experiences carried over to how you feel about men. Coming from a single parent home and being raised by women is the model you know {from childhood} and because of those experiences you unconsciously if consciously have follow in that pattern. It is common to do this since the young psyche is most influenced by experiences from early childhood {the first 3 years in childhood development are the most important with personality being set by age nine}. What you learn in the first years is the pattern you most likely will follow through life. Just how it does develop depends on other aspect of life including DNA but we do know the childhood model is true.

The thing about dreams is they do have a way of stating these facts through symbolic imagery. Being 13 in an adult body suggests there are emotional energies from age 13 that still affect your adult life. If you look even deeper to why you withdrew from interactions with other people at age 13 you will probably discover reasons related to earlier life that caused you to do so. The bullying played a role but why a child/person is bullied is likely dependent in some way to personality {a withdrawn child would likely be bullied more so than someone who is open and spontaneous}. Getting to the foundations of personality is important because it will allow you to understand the unconscious energies that control your life {throughout life until the issues are resolved}. Your dream is trying to inform you to these energies so you can resolve the issues to do with relationships. Understanding why you felt different in school will help you understand why those energies still affect you as an adult. Having had an abusive relationship as an adult doesn't help {the question may be why you chose that person to have a relationship to begin with}. It is psychological and may have been unconsciously driven.

I could go into the detail and fit the images/actions with what I know about your life but I think we have discovered the primary message of the dream. The questions is are there any forgotten/repressed experiences of abuse during childhood that need to be realized? Not necessarily sexual abuse but psychological. Bullying is psychological as well as physical. The experiences at age 13 as well as when you were in the 8th grade standout {one from the dream, the other from your submission form}. Examine those years and see if you find anything relevant to why you have problems in relationships as well as other aspects in your life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 66 Cocoa, Fl

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes


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