Dream Analysis/Interpretation by Dream Analyst
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Trying to kill someone

Hello - it's been a while since I've posted a dream here. I think I have a good sense for what it means, but I believe I could benefit from some outside opinions.

The dream -
I arrive at an unfamiliar house and am in the backyard (no fence exists). I "know" that the ocean is very close by but I can't see it. I am just there sort of appreciating the view and being outside. I sense that someone else is coming into the backyard with me, so I hide under the porch. At this point, I realize that I do not appear as myself...instead I appear as another unknown female with a different hair color, but I still know that it's me.

A man (about my age) appears and he stands on the porch above me, He is talking to himself and psyching himself up to do "something". My sense is that the "something" is bad. He is telling himself aloud that he can distance himself from his mother now - so that if/when she finds out about the "something", then she won't feel so upset or disappointed about it. He never says out loud what the "something" is, but I get the impression that it might be criminal or that he will have to go into hiding after it happens. The man lays down on the porch (on his back) right above me to look at the sky and continue talking to himself.

I have a gun now, and I decide that I need to kill him. I guess because I want to prevent him from doing the "something". I shoot him (once) from under the porch, and it goes into his chest or neck. I know there is blood spewing and that he is hurt, but I know that I didn't kill him. Instinctively, I know that he will be mad at me, so I decide to run before he is able to get up and chase me. I crawl out from under the porch and go to the front of the house. Now I am focused on where to hide next, because I believe he will try to hurt me. As I get to the front of the house, I now realize that I am in my childhood neighborhood (my parents old house), and I now appear as myself (not as the unknown female anymore). The dream ends with me waking up very stressed out/heart racing because I was worried in the dream that the man would chase/find me. Also, I remember thinking that after I started running, that I should have gone back and killed him, instead of running away.

What I think the dream means....
I know the two people represent myself, and that they are two parts of myself at odds with each other. A feminine part of myself is upset with the masculine side - because she feels threatened about something that he is doing or is about to do.

In real life, I have recently accepted a new job that is relocating me to Florida. I believe this is represented by the house/porch with the ocean nearby. Deep down, there is a part of me that wishes that a different job opportunity had come through (where I would have moved abroad). The other job would also have been more prestigious. So to everyone else, I am sort of "faking" that I'm happy about Florida, and I'm just trying to focus on adjusting my emotions and moving forward (the masculine side of me). But I believe the feminine side of me is still emotionally upset that I have "given up" on the other opportunity. Also, I'll mention that the man in the dream talks to himself....this is something that I would normally do in waking life.

What I could use some help with....
I am not connecting or seeing is the reference to "my mother" and why the dream shifted to my childhood home. Also, I'm wondering if anyone sees add'l items/conclusions that I missed.

Thank you very much!


Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38, Female, Jacksonville, FL

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes (2011? maybe, under the alias, drshell)

Re: Trying to kill someone

Michelle,
I'll provide a complete analysis of your dream Sunday.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67

Re: Trying to kill someone

Michelle,
I am working on your dream and have read what you think the dream means. I can see how the dream mostly fits with your interpretation {as far as I have gotten in my analysis} and the actual recent experiences. But as to why the dream changes to your childhood neighborhood, this could be addressing deeper aspects to do with possible childhood influences and experiences that are associated with your personality and attitudes. And possibly something deeper related to 'hidden' things, either in personality/attitudes or actual childhood experiences {usually dreams focused on childhood experiences start out with those images and when they come later on in a dream they relate to childhood influences and less about actual emotional/traumatic experiences from childhood}. But it could be addressing hidden experiences from early life {as all dreams do in some fashion since ations as an adult usually depend on development of personality and early life experiences and influences}.

Your dream begins with a focus on unknown/hidden aspects. The opening statement in a dream usually lays the framework for what the dream is attempting to communicate. If you will look back at your childhood and 'nurturing' aspects {'his' mother as a masculine application} you may see something there. Looking back at your other posted dreams the House/Ghost has language that may point o childhood {the title itself provides clues to the dream}. There is a blueprint as well as 'an old part of the house'. And a kitten {innocence and purity} and closet {hidden aspects}. The spirit could be a guide through emotional issues.

All dreams have at least two meanings/applications. One would be how you interpreted the dream {which would fit and be a correct analysis {on a more recent experience}. The other could be addressing something deeper, well hidden.

Here is a preliminary reading of the opening of your dream {revision possible if not likely after I analyze the whole dream}. I have begun to provide an interpretation to the images and actions so the dreamer can see possible connections. Patterns will emerge and a final analysis comes from these interpretations.

-unfamiliar house-unfamiliar or unknown {unconscious} aspect of yourself
-am in the backyard {no fence exists}-unconscious/hidden aspects without any barriers
-"know" ocean is near but can't see it-conscious knowledge but not consciously able to understand it
-just there/appreciating view and being outside-recognizing there are outer issues
-sense someone is coming into backyard with me/hide under porch-some other aspect is coming from first issue that is hidden in your personality
-I realize I do not appear as myself-not perceiving true self
-instead I appear as another unknown female with different color hair-same self with different attitudes

In the meantime I will continue with my analysis.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67

Re: Trying to kill someone

Jerry - thank you. I had completely forgotten about the ghost/house dream. So I definitely see how this could be a deeper recurring theme.

What is think is more interesting is the date that I wrote th ghost/house dream on - Mar 2008. That is exactly the same time that I started a new job as well. And, interestingly enough, I had only been working for that company a few weeks before it was announced that we were going to be acquired by another company. (I.e. Financial crisis of 2008, so I was able to google the exact date). So in the weeks leading up to when the acquisition, there was a lot of uneasiness about what was going to happen. And I do remember having very strong feelings that "a very disruptive change was coming". After the acquisition, our dept head tragically passed away in an accident and our team was shuffled around. After all of that happened, we all ended up quitting not too long afterwards.

So I can't really say that my current company is going through any distress - but I don't think it's a coincidence this dream and the ghost/house dream are coupled with a high stressful time related to a new job. And for me, my job is an important extension of my personality/ ego, in addition to it representing stability (financial/emotional stability).

That said - for this current new job, I have been sensing that "something" significant will change although there aren't really any logical reasons to support why I sense this.

Regardless, I understand that the job coincidence doesn't really map to any themes about my childhood, per se. But I will mention that I can think of one other issue that might be relevant. My mom was/is very intuitive person and believed very much in dreams/spirits/following her gut. I too believe in the same things( since childhood) but I choose not to represent myself that way. In my professional life, I have believed that if I presented myself as someone who talks about dreams, spirits and metaphysical things that I will not be taken seriously. So I have been deeply feeling like I will need to "come out of the broom closet" soon. Also, I have had several other dreams recently about people I know who are married that get divorced and/or cheat on each other. So I know that there is some kind of inner conflict going on with me.

Sorry to ramble a bit...but mentioing these things in case you see some relevance. Also, the explanations you gave to me in the previous dream were helpful. I look forward to the rest of your analysis.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 38, Florida

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes

Re: Trying to kill someone

Michelle,
Your response, and especially the info about belief in spirits and your mother, helps put the dream into perspective. Your are running from your true self and your beliefs instead of letting those aspects be known in your public life. The man would represent your masculine qualities {strength of personality}. Your belief in spirits comes from early life experiences and influences from your mother {as I have stated, there is always a focus on both aspects {present and past}. You can not be your true self {with your belief in spirits} in your waking life and this is unconsciously if not conscious a cause for emotional conflict. There are other associations related to your wish you could have had better opportunities but the readable focus of the dream seems to be about on being your true self and hiding from that {your true self wanted better opportunities and you can't hide from that}. There are likely other associations to do with early life foundations but that would require a more indepth analysis and more personal info. I'll try to find time to re-examine past dreams to see how those deal with these issues but can not promise. I have so many things on my plate even in retirement {I sometimes feel I need to retire from retirement}.

A note on your belief in spirits. I have many metaphysical friends, some who have similar beliefs as you. Although I identify more with their metaphysical premises {spirituality} my objective mind often is in conflict with their outlook on life. Most of them believe in being totally positive despite the reality of the conditions in life. I see things as they are and try to live my life 'spiritually' {I have no use for religion}, the spirit being in natural laws of Karma {cause and effect}. In the Jungian concept of life living a spiritual life and being your true self is how you find balance and harmony. Of course the emotional issues that stem from our early life foundations must be reconciled if there is to be this harmony {one aspect too many of my metaphysical friends overlook or ignore}. This is why dreams address both the present life as well as the foundational aspects. You are who you are primary because of early life conditioning. When you reach adulthood and find an imbalance {as most do} it is as much from early life experiences and influences as anything later in life {traumatic experiences later in life will have an affect}. Dreams are nature's tool to help us resolve the issues that cause the imbalance. Just as the body has the immune system to heal and protect, so too the psyche has the dream.

Here is my interpretation of the images and actions from your dream. These may help you in understanding the unconscious energies in your life.

Dream Title: Trying to kill someone
-trying to kill or change an aspect within yourself or in your personality/personal attitudes

The dream -
I arrive at an unfamiliar house and am in the backyard (no fence exists). I "know" that the ocean is very close by but I can't see it. I am just there sort of appreciating the view and being outside. I sense that someone else is coming into the backyard with me, so I hide under the porch. At this point, I realize that I do not appear as myself...instead I appear as another unknown female with a different hair color, but I still know that it's me.

-unfamiliar house-unfamiliar or unknown {unconscious} aspect of yourself
-am in the backyard {no fence exists}-unconscious/hidden aspects without any barriers
-"know" ocean is near but can't see it-conscious knowledge but not consiously able to understand it
-just there/appreciating view and being outside-recognizing there are outer issues
-sense someone is coming into backyard with me/hide under porch-some other aspect is coming from first issue that is hidden in your personality
-I realize I do not appear as myself-not being in your waking life who you really are {on one level could be address your 'spirit' beliefs that you hide in your professional life}

A man (about my age) appears and he stands on the porch above me, He is talking to himself and psyching himself up to do "something". My sense is that the "something" is bad. He is telling himself aloud that he can distance himself from his mother now - so that if/when she finds out about the "something", then she won't feel so upset or disappointed about it. He never says out loud what the "something" is, but I get the impression that it might be criminal or that he will have to go into hiding after it happens. The man lays down on the porch (on his back) right above me to look at the sky and continue talking to himself.

-man appears {my age}/stands on porch above me-masculine aspects coming to the forefront and taking control of conscious life {porch symbolizing how you portray yourself to others}
-He is talking to himself/psyching himself up to do "something"-dialog between outer and inner masculine/psyche as in spirit, bridge between outer and inner
-the something is bad-unknown negative qualities
-distance himself from mother now-distancing yourself from 'mother' qualities {using your 'strong' masculine qualities}
-she/mother finds out won't be upset/disappointed-literal feelings/not offending 'inner mother' qualities {emotional}
-impression might be criminal-avoiding legitimate self
-will have to go into hiding-hiding from true 'natural' qualities
-man lays down on porch on back-outer self controlled by unconscious energies {porch-personality/back-unconscious attitudes}
-above me looking at sky/talking to self-viewing true inner self/in dialog with outer masculine self {sky symbolizing transcendence to true self}

I have a gun now, and I decide that I need to kill him. I guess because I want to prevent him from doing the "something". I shoot him (once) from under the porch, and it goes into his chest or neck. I know there is blood spewing and that he is hurt, but I know that I didn't kill him. Instinctively, I know that he will be mad at me, so I decide to run before he is able to get up and chase me. I crawl out from under the porch and go to the front of the house. Now I am focused on where to hide next, because I believe he will try to hurt me. As I get to the front of the house, I now realize that I am in my childhood neighborhood (my parents old house), and I now appear as myself (not as the unknown female anymore). The dream ends with me waking up very stressed out/heart racing because I was worried in the dream that the man would chase/find me. Also, I remember thinking that after I started running, that I should have gone back and killed him, instead of running away.

-I have a gun now/decide to kill him-aggression toward masculine aspects/making changes to resolve conflict
-prevent him from doing 'something'-
-shoot him once from under porch-aggression toward conscious masculine attitudes
-goes into chest/neck-confrontation of inner and outer aspects
-know there is blood spewing/he is hurt-emitting internal energy causing emotional wounds
-know I didn't kill him-masculine attitudes still exist
-Instinctively-intuitive aspects
-know he will be mad at me-outer expression toward inner self
-I decide to run before is able to chase me-avoiding true self to placate conscious attitudes
-I crawl out from under porch/go to front of house-overcoming diminish standards of conscious attitudes that are in control
-focused on where to hide next-an emphasis on hiding from true self
-I believe he will try to hurt me-fear of changes of masculine attitudes
-get to front of house-being your true self {house is you/front is personality}
-realize I am in childhood neighborhood {parents old house}-foundational aspects
-now I appear as myself-being your true self
-should have killed him instead of running away from him-need to change masculine attitudes instead of running away from true self

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67

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