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Re: "... a stronger power."

Nicole,
As often is the case the title of your post names what the issues are in your psyche life. 'A stronger power'. I'll explain.

If you will look back at early childhood you may find this fear began during those years. A constant repetition of being told you are doing it wrong. This is imprinted on your psyche and has become a motivating energy in your adult life. Because of the imprinted notion you can never do it right you abandon projects no matter how well it is put together. You are unable to express your true self because the imprintation of the early experiences govern your psyche. You find it better not to express yourself in fear you will be told 'you are doing it wrong'. Your inner child is still living in the early years of your childhood. This idea is re-enforced by your husband's step Mom. "She said that I had almost no dirt on me and that what had been was not my own". It had been put there by others. The stronger power is the imprinted notion you can not do it right. This idea was implanted by others. Resolving this issue will help in finding wholeness and resolving the issue of the ability to express your true self.

A note about Jungian psyche. His concepts were greatly influenced by Eastern philosophy especially Buddhism {Buddhism isn't a religion, it is a psychology}. Along with Gnosticism and alchemy.

Jerry

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