I posted a dream on October 12th under the name "alyssa" that I feel like will give you additional insight into my life..

First Dream: I was at some sort of event in a large room, we were going to watch a movie projected onto a screen in a gymnasium type room. I was with my friend, Erika, and I spoke to her saying "why don't you just take care of yourself for once". She was very hurt & offended and left. This is a person who I have shared intimate space with in the past (a bit sexually & as a deep soul sister) We are rarely in one another's lives anymore) I have felt in my life that she always takes and expects others to give to her...and have been triggered by that in the past. After she left, I went to sleep in my dream and woke up and the back of my earring had lodged itself through my skull at my 3rd eye point. I pulled it out, it was a crazy feeling.

Second Dream: I was walking on foot with a group of people (don't know who) and realized ALL of the roads, every single road, to my house was not being allowed access. I talked to one of the construction workers about needing to go to my house to get my keys and he said the only way to get there would be to go through my basement window and crawl up. So, I did, and it was dirty and I made my way upstairs to get my keys.

Third Dream: There was a woman who was giving me a demonstration of how to be fingered (sexually). She was showing me a diagram of the yoni and explaining the importance of breathing through my mouth. I remember asking her "you were taught this?" and being shocked that someone had discussed this with her as sexuality was not discussed ever in my household. Then, she started explaining the history of lesbianism in our society & another woman appeared and they would passionately kiss in between sharing information. I remember thinking "hmm, that looks nice, i think i'd like that" (as in kissing a woman)

A bit about me:

I am very closed of sexually and have been in most all of my prior relationships. I have rarely felt pleasure/ecstacy as i am more in my head than in my body.

I am constantly questioning my sexuality...I have been in relationships with men & women, but only men for the past 2 years (1 man for 1 year and my current relationship is going on 9 months)

I really love and appreciate the man i am with so i am SO frusturated with my questioning.I am honest with him about this & I am completely loved and trusted and am free to explore my sexuality if i wish.

It almost feels more like an obsessive thought loop...think HOCD.

I want to live my truth and if that means that I am a "lesbian" or "bisexual" or "straight" whatever! but i am stuck in the uncertainty...

that's a bit about me... again, a dream i posted on october 12th may also be good insight.

thank you so so much

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: Female, 27, OR

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, October 12th

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? YES!

Alyssa,
I will work on your dream today but it may be Monday before I can provide a final analysis. Likely the dreams are follow up to the dream you posted in October {which is good for therapy purposes}.

Looking at the second dream there seems to be a 'blockage to inner issues' {not being allowed access} but you are taking the initiative by working on the issues {construction workers} to finding resolution to them {keys to the issues}. There is an opening to these deep issues {basement} and with careful forethought and preparation you are slowly finding your way to what the issues are. What you are finding is dirty, anxieties and feelings toward sex.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla

Thank you! I will look forward to reading your analysis :)

Alyssa,
What I get from the dreams is pretty much what you provided in additional personal info about your struggles with sexuality. The struggle is as much inner as outer but probably involves both. The inner struggle is accepting who you really are {sexually but also as a whole} and the outer a struggle with social norms and possibly if not probably what family thinks {their established attitudes}.

The whole of what Jungian psyche attempts to teach is to be your true self. But who are you really? That's the first question that needs to be answered. And since there is a serious question about your sexuality that aspect needs to be answered. Are you hetersexual seeking love and acceptance as a substitute for what you might not have received in childhood, are you gay living a life that is not your true self, or are you actually bi-sexual? As to bi-sexuality that gets to the question of biological precursors of bisexual orientation in the brain vs compensation for what was not received in way of acceptance as a childhood {love and acceptance by parents/peers}.

I for one believe you are biologically straight or gay with bi-sexuality in MOST men/women as a developed attitude/action as compensation. I say most because we do not know for sure how the brain is wired in 'truly' bi-sexual persons. There are several studies suggesting that bisexuals have a high degree of masculinization. The genes have a stronger tendency toward the same gender. According to these studies bi-sexuality is developed due to biological reasons. But masculine attitudes can come about from negative relationships as a child. Bi-sexuality cold very well be a result of either or. In the end it depends on how you act out bi-sexual attitudes that determines if it is right or wrong to do. If done in a destructive way then life will follow that. If done with careful intent and caution I don't see anything wrong.

But the final authority is being who you really are. If your current relationship is truly stable as you state then you can't ask for more. As young as you are it may require many more years of 'discovery' to realize the truth about your sexuality. It may be working through how others feel {family/friends/society} that is the problem. Can they accept who you are? Can you overcome your own inner developed attitudes {from childhood environment/family/social expectations}? Living life one day at time is a good path to follow, being your true self and learning to accept that person you are.


Amplification of Images/Actions/Symbols
First Dream
I was at some sort of event in a large room, we were going to watch a movie projected onto a screen in a gymnasium type room. I was with my friend, Erika, and I spoke to her saying "why don't you just take care of yourself for once". She was very hurt & offended and left. This is a person who I have shared intimate space with in the past (a bit sexually & as a deep soul sister) We are rarely in one another's lives anymore) I have felt in my life that she always takes and expects others to give to her...and have been triggered by that in the past. After she left, I went to sleep in my dream and woke up and the back of my earring had lodged itself through my skull at my 3rd eye point. I pulled it out, it was a crazy feeling.
Amplification of Images/Actions/Symbols
-at event in a large room-an experience that was emotionally powerful/influential
-we were going to watch a movie projected onto a screen-living life with developed attitudes as projected from others
-in a gymnasium type room-traits/attitudes you have incorporated into your life
-with friend Erika-rejected emotional aspects
-spoke to her-inner communication
-saying, "why don't you just take care of yourself for once"-first time in breaking with developed attitude
-she was very hurt/offended and left-wounded emotions of rejected aspects
-after she left-rejected aspects
-when to sleep in my dream and woke up-becoming aware of rejected aspects
-back of my earring-unconscious attention to attitudes
-had lodged through skull-abiding by things that are hidden

---

Second Dream

I was walking on foot with a group of people (don't know who) and realized ALL of the roads, every single road, to my house was not being allowed access. I talked to one of the construction workers about needing to go to my house to get my keys and he said the only way to get there would be to go through my basement window and crawl up. So, I did, and it was dirty and I made my way upstairs to get my keys.
Amplification of Images/Actions/Symbols
-was walking on foot-going through life structured by foundations
-with group of people-emerging aspects of character/personality
-all roads-all various possible paths
-to my house-who you are
-not allowed being access-not allowed to be true self
-talked to one construction worker-inner communication of aspect that is being developed
-about needing to get to my house-a need to be who you are
-to get my keys-to be able to unlock access
-he said only way-masculine/animus aspects
-through basement window-unconscious possibilities
-crawl up-mental attitudes
-I did, it was dirty-feelings toward sex
-made way upstairs to get keys-abiding by unconscious attitudes

---

Third Dream
There was a woman who was giving me a demonstration of how to be fingered (sexually). She was showing me a diagram of the yoni and explaining the importance of breathing through my mouth. I remember asking her "you were taught this?" and being shocked that someone had discussed this with her as sexuality was not discussed ever in my household. Then, she started explaining the history of lesbianism in our society & another woman appeared and they would passionately kiss in between sharing information. I remember thinking "hmm, that looks nice, i think i'd like that" (as in kissing a woman)

Amplification of Images/Actions/Symbols
-woman giving me a demonstration-feminine aspects proving guidance
-how to be fingered sexually-dexterity of unacknowledged and unexpressed sexual needs/desires
-she was showing a diagram-revealing blueprints
-of the yoni-female sexuality/genitalia
-explaining importance of breathing-revealing important emotional energies
-through my mouth-conscious communication of energies
-remember asking her-transformation by questioning
-you were taught this-following directions
-being shocked-new awareness
-someone had discussed this with her as sexuality-inner discisions about sexulaity
-was not discussed in my household-actions that are controlled by developed attitudes
-she started explaining history of lesbianism in our society-experiencing attitudes toward self love/acceptance according to social norms
-another woman appeared-additional feminine/emotional aspect
-they would passionately kiss-accepting sensual aspects
-in between sharing information-your direction is of intertwined interests
-that looks nice, i think i'd like that-apparent acceptance of true self
-kissing a woman-self acceptance of true self/attitudes

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 67 Cocoa, Fla