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Re: Dream of giving birth

So to clarify, my previous relationship was the hospital, because it was at one time spiritually nourishing, but not anymore. the reason waiting is coming up so much is because I'm not talking to my ex. I'm actually ignoring him, which is why i have no direct contact in the dream with any doctors or nurses. I left the hospital at the end, as in leaving the relationship. trying to avoid the emotional pain of breaking up. but still able to nourish the new idea with the goodie bag i received from leaving. the new idea being the new relationship with someone else that I'm looking forward to.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

Re: Dream of giving birth

NM13,
Thanks for the detailed response. Because you have provide a lot to consider {which I appreciate because it provides many personal insights} I'll provide some thoughts and if necessary {limited on time this morning} I will provide a full response Sunday morning. Although I have analyzed one other dream you have posted I still have very little info about your personal life and that limits my ability to provide a great deal of specifics. We know there are father issues and that is and will be a focus of your dreams until the issues are resolved. Knowing his influence, especially in early life, is instrumental in shaping your psyche does provide a direction to take. Those foundations stay until resolved and, depending on the person and the circumstances, are apart of who you are, how you act and react, and decision making in adult life. A norm with father issues is the influence on future male relationships. Also an undeveloped masculine psyche can play into the equation. We all have issues and the foundations on which the life is built is influenced by them. Time, age and maturity can/will help resolve some of the energies {dreams are about our emotional energies} but those {energies} that possessed the greatest energy will need personal intervention. Dreams are nature's tool in helping in that process.

The dream title seems to say much about where you are in life. A new attitude is/needs developing. One aspect of that, and you capitalized, the O is the relationship with your father, personal and otherwise {and/or its influence}. Another would be your inner 'father', your animus which had its foundations in early life. A third cloud be male relationships in the present which would also be influenced by the father relationship. The primary force seems to be avoidance which in any case is a not the proper reaction since all issues need to be confronted, understood and worked through to resolution. A question would be why is there the avoidance, beyond the simple fact avoiding emotional pain is natural. Can you identify from early life a experiences where avoidance play a part? Perhaps it was the avoidance of your father providing all he could have when you were a child. Physically abusive yet very protective. Such a relationship, on his part, may have been his way of influencing you for his benefit and not necessarily one that benefited you {a possibility to consider}. If you can ascertain what in his life caused him to be the person he is/was that may help. Of course the avoidance is reflective of your ignoring your ex {all dreams if not all dream images and actions have at least two meanings/applications}. Look at that and see if it is a characteristic you possess, one that may have started in childhood with an avoidance aspect related to your father relationship {may not fit but if so could be something that needs resolution}. All dreams have symbolic/metaphorical {primary language of dreams} but also have literal applications {ignoring your ex/avoidance}. Patience could also be related to this theme {or not} and examining the possibilities will provide insights to your personality and the foundational energies that drive you.

The IUD. The idea behind it being an obstacle is giving birth first requires getting pregnant. It is hard to get pregnant when there is an IUD. Removing it would remove the obstacle. The metaphor points to an obstacle{s} that need to be removed in your waking life, emotionally/psychologically and perhaps literally.

For clarification, do you consciously know what the idea is? You are trying to plan to protect this idea. If you are not aware of what it is then where would this protection mold fit in your life?

I will need to stop here and continue on Sunday {I work Saturdays}. I will address the question about the dream, 'I was sitting in the blue comfy chair at the doctors office in the waiting room-conscious indecision/seeking clarity of the emotional stress do to with issues of power/control and feelings of dependence/independence."

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 68 Altoona, Fl

Re: Dream of giving birth

Hi Jerry,

I appreciate your responses as well!

It's interesting you noticed that I capitalized the O, I actually noticed that also, but it made me think more of like religion and like Him and His and God being capitalized. God, the Father lol. What do you think about that? and then the fact that 3 is brought up, One of three. Seems like religious comparisons and then the priest also. I'm not sure what to make of it though.

Aside deciding to leave my current relationship and find a new one, I also decided to consciously work on bringing my masculine and feminine side into balance, but I have to do and have been doing a lot of research, because I need to figure out where I am at as far as development goes on both sides and also figure out what I'm doing, because I don't know exactly if I'm being honest. So i could see the dream fitting to that also.

As far as avoidance, I would actually avoid him. He would get mad if I didn't say hello to him when he got home, but when he was home for the most part I tried my best to stay in my room, and usually wait til he went to bed to eat to avoid conflict. Which is interesting because I actually don't often leave my apartment, especially in the winter. I don't like the cold. I wonder if that relates to that. I leave like once or twice a week, if I have to. I don't think anything in his life caused him to be that way, he really is just an ******* to everyone. He's very narcissistic has pretty obvious like alpha problems. He loves to show off. If people don't suck up to him, he doesn't like them. He has ego problems, does things to appear nice like he has everything and buys stuff to fill whatever voids he has. He has a good life like on the outside, but everyone hates him. All his biological children, my mom, lol. He's just a selfish person.

I smoked marijuana from ages 17-24 very heavily. I actually just quit a couple months ago, that was definitely emotional avoidance.

I can't think of ways I avoided emotional pain when I was younger, maybe reading escaping to my little lala land I lived in. I do typically avoid conflict and not talk about my emotions, but when I was younger, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion of any kind, not that I didn't I just learned to keep it to myself or I would be forced to go along with stuff I probably didn't agree with.

I probably should be more upset than I am now though considering I just ended about a year long relationship. I prefer not to wallow though. I cried the first day. I am obviously still upset, but I guess I am not acknowledging those feelings now.

I didn't cry at all the last relationship I ended.

But I was used to having a rough home life and then having to go to school and pretend like everything was fine, so I guess I couldn't really be upset. If I was crying in public over family conflict, my parents would always say "Shut up and pretend your happy," so I guess maybe that stuck with me LOL.

Also, I kinda ghosted the guy I was dating. It was a long distance relationship, but I actually wanted to try to make things work, I kept like breaking up with him though, and I don't think we were ever going to see each other mostly because of him. He owns business and pretty much wouldn't make time for me, but could text me all the time. So I basically broke up with him, told him we could just be friends, and I really don't intend to ever speak to him again. I just feel like he could have tried harder and wasn't going to. I'm actually pretty mad at him, because last time I dumped him he said he wanted to be with me and work stuff out, but I don't think he ever really intended to. He's a really selfish person as well.

I was thinking the protection/iud of the dream is basically me not talking to my ex because if I speak to him, maybe we will make up and get back together and if that happens I can't move on and find a new relationship like I plan to do eventually. But I had the baby already anyway in the dream.

the one I have also is called paragard,
"para" meaning "at or to one side of, beside, side by side”
"gard" meaning "an obsolete form of guard"
which makes me again think it is not an obstacle, because I had the baby and also the name kind of reinforces protection/guarding.

I think it would be an obstacle if I had a dream where I was unable to get pregnant.

Again I'm pretty sure the idea/ baby is a new relationship with somebody else. if the baby/idea is also balancing my masculine and feminine, I'm not sure what the iud would represent or what I would need to protect it from.

Thanks again Jerry!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

Re: Dream of giving birth

Hi Jerry,

I appreciate your responses as well!

It's interesting you noticed that I capitalized the O, I actually noticed that also, but it made me think more of like religion and like Him and His and God being capitalized. God, the Father lol. What do you think about that? and then the fact that 3 is brought up, One of three. Seems like religious comparisons and then the priest also. I'm not sure what to make of it though.

Aside deciding to leave my current relationship and find a new one, I also decided to consciously work on bringing my masculine and feminine side into balance, but I have to do and have been doing a lot of research, because I need to figure out where I am at as far as development goes on both sides and also figure out what I'm doing, because I don't know exactly if I'm being honest. So i could see the dream fitting to that also.

As far as avoidance, I would actually avoid him. He would get mad if I didn't say hello to him when he got home, but when he was home for the most part I tried my best to stay in my room, and usually wait til he went to bed to eat to avoid conflict. Which is interesting because I actually don't often leave my apartment, especially in the winter. I don't like the cold. I wonder if that relates to that. I leave like once or twice a week, if I have to. I don't think anything in his life caused him to be that way, he really is just an ******* to everyone. He's very narcissistic has pretty obvious like alpha problems. He loves to show off. If people don't suck up to him, he doesn't like them. He has ego problems, does things to appear nice like he has everything and buys stuff to fill whatever voids he has. He has a good life like on the outside, but everyone hates him. All his biological children, my mom, lol. He's just a selfish person.

I smoked marijuana from ages 17-24 very heavily. I actually just quit a couple months ago, that was definitely emotional avoidance.

I can't think of ways I avoided emotional pain when I was younger, maybe reading escaping to my little lala land I lived in. I do typically avoid conflict and not talk about my emotions, but when I was younger, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion of any kind, not that I didn't I just learned to keep it to myself or I would be forced to go along with stuff I probably didn't agree with.

I probably should be more upset than I am now though considering I just ended about a year long relationship. I prefer not to wallow though. I cried the first day. I am obviously still upset, but I guess I am not acknowledging those feelings now.

I didn't cry at all the last relationship I ended.

But I was used to having a rough home life and then having to go to school and pretend like everything was fine, so I guess I couldn't really be upset. If I was crying in public over family conflict, my parents would always say "Shut up and pretend your happy," so I guess maybe that stuck with me LOL.

Also, I kinda ghosted the guy I was dating. It was a long distance relationship, but I actually wanted to try to make things work, I kept like breaking up with him though, and I don't think we were ever going to see each other mostly because of him. He owns business and pretty much wouldn't make time for me, but could text me all the time. So I basically broke up with him, told him we could just be friends, and I really don't intend to ever speak to him again. I just feel like he could have tried harder and wasn't going to. I'm actually pretty mad at him, because last time I dumped him he said he wanted to be with me and work stuff out, but I don't think he ever really intended to. He's a really selfish person as well.

I was thinking the protection/iud of the dream is basically me not talking to my ex because if I speak to him, maybe we will make up and get back together and if that happens I can't move on and find a new relationship like I plan to do eventually. But I had the baby already anyway in the dream.

the one I have also is called paragard,
"para" meaning "at or to one side of, beside, side by side”
"gard" meaning "an obsolete form of guard"
which makes me again think it is not an obstacle, because I had the baby and also the name kind of reinforces protection/guarding.

I think it would be an obstacle if I had a dream where I was unable to get pregnant.

Again I'm pretty sure the idea/ baby is a new relationship with somebody else. if the baby/idea is also balancing my masculine and feminine, I'm not sure what the iud would represent or what I would need to protect it from.

Thanks again Jerry!

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

Re: Dream of giving birth

I am reading this book also to further go into capitalization of one. It’s interesting, the word Oneness is capitalized here. I’ve read this before, recently, but I will quote:

“Dr. Von Franz: God will give His unique answer in each case.

Remark: I think God has already given His unique answer in each case.

Dr. Von Franz: That is where we differ. You think God has published general rules which He keeps Himself, and we think He is a living spirit appearing in a man’s psyche who can always create something new.

Remark: Within the framework of what He has already published.

Dr. Von Franz: To a theologian God is boing to His own books and is incapable of further publications. That is where we lock horns. If you raise the conflict to the realm of psychological inner detachment, then the problem of the opposites becomes clear: the Oneness becomes visible in the psychological realm and you realize your conflict is between to aspects of the psyche. “

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 25

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes I am the last post

How Did You Find the Dream Forum? Yes

Re: Dream of giving birth

nm13,
Some thoughts on your most recent post as well as the dream.

I can't think of ways I avoided emotional pain when I was younger, maybe reading escaping to my little lala land I lived in. I do typically avoid conflict and not talk about my emotions, but when I was younger, i wasn't really allowed to have an opinion of any kind, not that I didn't I just learned to keep it to myself or I would be forced to go along with stuff I probably didn't agree with.

The emotional pain I spoke of is not when you were younger but as an adult. The foundations for that pain is from childhood.

As a child you escaped by retreating into your own little lala land and reading. Is that what you were doing with your relationship? Avoiding your situation {your father as a child and your bf as an adult} by isolating yourself. And in both instances you kept to yourself so you would not be forced to go along with stuff you didn't agree with.

A pattern?

In the relationship. What was it that attracted you to this obvious {now} narcissistic guy? Does he possess characteristics your father possessed?

As for bringing your masculine and feminine into balance. That begins with confronting the relationship with your father which is the major cause of an out of balance masculine self. Why is it out of balance. Because psychologically you did not have the required natural relationship with your father {as so many of us have experienced as children}. But it is also a biological requirement as well, Jung's archetypal energies being biological as much as they are psychological. Animals are born with certain expectations as human animals we fit within this natural aspect. What is not provided in the earliest life is what we learn from most. And when natural expectations/requirements are not met {father/mother/etc} the psyche is thrown out of balance. Depending on the individual the effects vary but there is always results from not having the relationship a developing psyche seeks/requires. Think of a house that is not built on a solid, 'concrete' foundation. It will sink, come apart. A house in a dream is the dreamer {common metaphor}. This is the language of dreams {symbol and metaphor with literal applications}.

As for the long distance relationship. Am I correct you never have personally met this guy? Some may ask why you would continue thus type relationship but I believe the 'ghosting' allowed you to continue to isolate yourself from an actual relationship, avoiding the personal contacts as you learned to do with your father and your current relationship {have you ended it?}. Via the internet and other methods you are able to be in your own 'lala land'. But even in this the guy wasn't co-operating, made excuses not to meet. Avoidance of confrontation, something you learned as a child and used in adulthood. A pattern? Where did it come from? Childhood?

A line from the dream and your response to my analysis.
-and the priest said, it’s a shame they don’t give out candles any more-spiritual/emotional guidance due to a lack of positive experiences in life
The priest/animus would be saying, it’s a shame they can’t help you nourish your idea spiritually. And he says anymore implying that the hospital was once able to nourish spiritually. I don’t feel like the hospital really helped at all in my dream. Not the nurses, not the doctor. I don’t even know where my child is. So it seems I need to be nourished spiritually, but I am at the wrong place. The hospital would only help physically.

I don't think of a priest as solely an animus application. He would in some way represent the spiritual {you are not religious but spiritual} but could also represent sexual repression. In your recent relationship {not the long distance relationship} there was no contact and thus no sex. How you think of sex? Is it something you enjoy, avoid, ambivalent about? You did find any healing in the hospital {hospital, a metaphor for psychological healing}. But it can also represent giving up control of your own body. Physical abuse as a child from your father. How extensive was that? Not feeling you received healing at the hospital would suggest you have not yet healed in your real life.

The opening statement from your dream {see Dream Structure at my Power of Dreams website}. I have some questions about how you see parts of the dream and what the dream states.

From the dream
I am pregnant and about to give birth. The father is One of three people, but they have no idea. I was wondering if I should let them know I’m pregnant or wait til I had the baby to see who it looked like. I have a lot of questions because I’ve never had a baby before I keep asking my mom and the nurses a bunch of questions. I’m wondering if my iud needs to be removed and also very worried about the pain.

This would be the central theme of the unfolding dream, the primary emotional energies that are in conflict and need resolution.

Jung said the dream means exactly what it says {uses the language of dreams}. "I am pregnant and about to give birth". You stated in your response, "The night that I had this dream, I actually asked for a dream regarding when I would meet someone else and what that would be like." There are wish fulfillment dreams but the dream states you are already pregnant and about to give birth. You are wanting to get pregnant, wanting a new relationship but are you are already pregnant. Not that it could not fit with your desire to meet someone and what that would be like but the language of the dream seems to point to something already in the oven. Look at other possibilities of what this may represent. The dream will fit your waking life {as well as the underlying foundations for the emotional energies}.

The father is One of three. I see the One as your real father with the emphasis on the O being the primary emotional energy. Waiting to see what the baby looked like. Let's look at what a baby could represent other than something you are giving birth to.
Baby signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted.

In dreams an unnamed person {or baby} is a part of you, is you. Because of your father relationship your childhood was not uncorrupted, there was not the required innocence and you are still vulnerable to your foundational structure {a good likelihood there will be results in later life}. You are wondering what it would be like to have a proper relationship with a man, what the baby would look like {and should have had with your father}. You are consciously seeking answers and in the dream you are asking questions {the dream reflecting your current emotions}.

Then there is the iud. I do believe this to be an obstacle that needs to be removed. And there are three with the One being the primary obstacle. Foundations. All dreams address foundations and this dream seems to be 'primarily' focusing on the obstacles in your life that prevent a proper male relationship. I believe this is the primary message of the dream with secondary {and important} issues related to your foundations. Your animus is not in balance due to foundations and reflected in failed relationships in adult life. Resolving the animus issues begins with understanding why you are who you are and how early experiences shaped your person and personality.

"But I was used to having a rough home life and then having to go to school and pretend like everything was fine, so I guess I couldn't really be upset. If I was crying in public over family conflict, my parents would always say "Shut up and pretend your happy," so I guess maybe that stuck with me LOL."

So you isolated yourself as a child, and later as an adult. The long distance relationship fit within this frame as well. Dreams provide us with patterns of behavior. There are reasons for these patterns, they just don't happen for no reason. Finding the reasons are what provides the healing.

Dream Ending
But I told him not to worry because I have so many candles....
-not abiding by emotional needs because of the many disappointments in life
What is the meaning of candles? Another word for candle is taper, or narrow or lessen. Your life has been lessened because of masculine issues, father issues that resurface in later life relationships. So many disappointments.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 68 Altoona, Fl

Re: Dream of giving birth

The guy I was dating is not narcissistic, I was speaking of my father. He's not very similar to my father. He just like overly business oriented. Maybe selfish was the wrong word, he probably doesn't take care of himself enough. He is health conscious, but really all he does is work, more than anyone I've ever met. He owns businesses, so his life is just kind of unpredictable. He doesn't really make time for me or himself. but he is way more helpful and considerate than my father and like understand of where I am coming from. and i don't feel like my opinions are stifled. He is a much better listener and will try to help more in areas I care about as well, where my actual father would probably just try to redirect what I was doing all together. They're similar in that they're both way more practical than I am and better at real world stuff. I can be pretty..ungrounded and naive sometimes. but i would say he actually cares about and finds interest in my viewpoint, and my father does not and wouldn't even want to hear it.

And I wouldn't say I was being forced to go along with stuff I wouldn't agree with in my relationship, I just get mad that he can't make more time really.

and no we've met before. I used to live in the area he still lives in and run his businesses from, but I moved away and then we were just never really able to cut ties. We dated irl first lol. I just don't have a real reason to visit that area besides to see him even though my family is there. I don't like staying with them in particular or other people and there really aren't hotels there so he would actually have to take off work and is unable to. and no we made up now LOL.

and no i disagree with the sex thing. for being in a long distance relationship, we have a very active sex life lol. and i definitely wouldn't say I've given up control of my body, really in any way.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 24, F, Denver

Re: Dream of giving birth

Not sure what is what. Seems to be contractions in some of what you have stated. Or at least not clear to me in many. No more I can say.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 68 Altoona, Fl


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