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Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Jerry,

This dream seems a progression/development of what I am currently working with. The sheltering is repeated from the recent dream of Visiting With David - and also seems to be responding to my Need to Be Free from Oppression dream.

January 2, 2020 – Prisoner of Childhood Dying: I am asked to help a small group of others. It comes in the form of a written communication, on a piece of white paper. It is handed to me by a young lady. She is with a small group of men. I am asked to help shelter them. It is winter time and we are out of doors and I see that they are cold. I understand they are underground operatives of some sort, that they had to operate in such a way as not to be seen, known or recognized by the main population. It is as though they are removed from their parent unit. They seem genuine to me and so I am willing to help them. There is a small white house I know to be vacant and available to be used. I lead them to it. I am still working in the military at this time, or so it seems. After I lead the group to the small home, I must leave but will come back to check on them. I go to the prison where I work at Fort Leavenworth. When I try to enter, I find I do not have my identification badge for access to the prison. So, I return to my car. Then, I go back to visit the house where the group is sheltering. When I arrive, I do not see the men, only the woman. She is laying down in the living room. I go to her. She is dying now. I understand she has Pneumonia. I see that she is shivering terribly and is very weak. She hands me another letter. In the letter, she asks if I will contact a laboratory to see if they will give her something to help her pass easily. I am moved by her sincerity, by her condition, by her wish, and my own wish to be compassionate. The person at the lab tells me they are unable to help me (I am moved to tears at this point of speaking the dream into my recorder). I am next talking with an older man (maybe 60 -65 years old) who I understand to be the director of the operatives. He is a tall man, Caucasian, with a large body/build (but not fat) and in very good health. He has dark brown hair and a numinous quality about him. We are sitting across from one another at a table. He appreciates my efforts to help. My mother and father come in the house. My father takes a seat at the table to the right side of me. The other man says to me, “You are a very remarkable young woman.” He goes on to say that he sees that I am not under the spell or control of my parents. I respond by saying that I have always strove to be my own person. Then, Robert (my father) says, “She ‘has’ always been her own person.” END.

Thank you,

Kristi ... who doesn’t want to monopolize the forum or your time, but wanted to share in light of how my sharing here has already helped.

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 12/23/2019

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Jerry,

You needn’t respond to this dream, for I know deeply it’s meaning. The best way I can (and will) honor the death of this prisoner of childhood (me) is by giving her voice through me. I can only accept this death by staying committed to the love she has always deserved. She is the hero that has taken a long and arduous journey.

I cannot tell you how many dreams are flashing through my memory right now, one of the earliest of which featured a wise old woman tasking me to travel through dangerous territories so that I might restore wholeness to the lands. It was after that dream (years ago) that I first found your old website.

Thank you,

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 12/23/2019

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Kristi,
You are not imposing by your posting your dream. I have enough personal information to be able to read the dream without having to interpret every image and action. And your verification of what has already been provided in other dreams shows we are on the right track.

Yes, I agree with your assessment of the dream. There is a progression no doubt, a positive one {the written communication on white paper representing positive communications with your unconscious}. The underground operatives also represent the unconscious communication. This is your genuine self, the need to resolve issues with your parents {removal from parent unit}. I see being with/sheltering the small group of men as working on your masculine issues {related to father relationship}. Are there issues with men in your adult life? If so they stem from the father relationship.

The prison at Ft. Leavenworth is the big house among military prisons {I have personal knowledge of Ft. Leavenworth having been stationed there for 16 months during my military service 1969-71}. You are working to enter into what is incarcerated within your unconscious and there is still work to do. You are going in the right direction {car}, going back to what is still sheltered. The Pneumonia is the suffocation the emotional stress is placing on you and the laboratory experimenting/working with your inner feelings. The dying part likely is the need for removal of these symptoms which has not/will not be an easy thing to do {the person at the lab-a realization on your part it will take time and effort}.

The next part of the dream is interesting. I am wondering if a literal application could point to your interactions with me {along with a symbolic application of your wise masculine self}. Although I am a little older than the 60-65 the good health, Caucasian and sitting across the table could point to that possibility. The body description is most likely a symbolic representation. Double back to the Pneumonia and 'psychic' Ft. Leavenworth and you have me {psychic as opposed to psyche, your psychic abilities are showing through}. Absent anyone else who would fit the age and Caucasian description something to ponder on.

The last part is important because it does show real progress. You are no longer under the spell or control of my parents. You are on a path to removing the emotional energies that have had control over you. Being your own person is being your true self.

I do it much easier to analyze and interpret a dream when I do have the right amount of personal information about the dreamer. Although it is easy to put a general interpretation on images/actions Jung's directive that a dream means exactly what it says must fit also {of course after deciphering the dream language}. Also the dream structure is very applicable in this dream with the last part being so important. Not only does it indicate progress but also confidence in your ability to analyze your own dreams. I have often stated it doesn't take a degree in Jungian psyche to interpret dreams, only a good intuitive mind and a broad understanding of Jungian principles. I myself have no formal education in psychology, I am self taught {beginning in 1992} and consider myself an intuitive Jungian. Intuitive in what Jung has discovered is tapping into nature's evolution of the human psyche. We all possess these natural processes just as we all possess the archetypal energies. If it exists it is because nature has allowed it to.

A great dream in many aspects. I appreciate your posting it. Interesting in it has the Ft. Leavenworth aspect. What experience or knowledge do you have in association with that?

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Ah, Jerry,

Thank you! Your response is very helpful.

I was rather emotional when I responded yesterday, a good/healing emotional release was underway in what feels a profoundly inspirational movement within me.

I do indeed believe that my communication with/connection to you is seen in the man that speaks to me at the end of the dream.

I spent a total of 10 years of my military career at Ft. Leavenworth, five years on one tour and 5 on the second. I was a MP Correctional NCO at the USDB (United States Disciplinary Barracks).

I will say more on all of this later, when I have the time to respond at greater length.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 12/23/2019

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Kristi,
I want to comment more on the numbers from the dream since in my philosophy {following Jung} numbers have meaning. The 60-65 numbers would have symbolic value as well as the literal. I always look for both. I addressed the possible literal application since seemed to fit. But the symbolic associations often provide insights to the number{s} meaning/application. If it fits with other aspects of the dream you probably have a correct interpretation. 6s and 9s are important numbers especially the number 9. I will look deeper into that application and see where it leads. A quick look at the numbers 6 0 6 5 and ny first impression is related to a transformation aspect. It may point to a real breakthrough with your inner search. Seems to fit with what we have discovered with the analyze of your posted dreams.

What a co-incidence about being stationed at Ft. Leavenworth. I always look for a possible Synchronistic event when such co-incidences occur. I was stationed there my whole tour after basic and military police training at Ft. Gordon. Was your advanced training also there.

Oh yes, USDB. Always easy to say and remember. I was at the old barracks, before the new facility they have now. I volunteered during last day of advanced training for correction specialist, spent another month at Gordon for more training, all the while expecting to go to Vietnam. Orders came down and I was on my way to Leavenworth. Guard detail which turned into being placed in the pharmacy where I spent M-F 9 to 5. My first wife moved in and got a good job. She loved the town and job ad wanted me to reup.
We divorced not much past my enlistment tour ended. But other reasons in reality. The unconscious energies were just beginning to show themselves.

Overall I had the most fortunate tour considering the probabilities. Guard duty at Long Binh was a better chance but fate was on my side it seems. I live by Campbell's helping hands of fate {the hero journey} where, just when you need assistance to continue the journey factors occur that make it possible. It goes with his 'follow your bliss', awakening the muse, creativity and spirituality.

Was your unite during your tours directly under the Department of Defence instead of a division as we were back in 69-71? The great thing about that was most everyone who was up for promotion got promoted. We had way more slots available than regular units. When I was promoted to E-5 I was one among 40 others for that month alone, with only one person who was eligible not getting promoted. The DD were making changes to age of enlisted men to a younger age than personnel already stationed there.



I've had such experiences a few times in my journey and it all seems to fit with Jungian concepts which, when with prior knowledge, you are better prepared to take the correct path in your journey. Joseph Campbell spoke about magic hands of fate that always appear when making correct choices, following the spiritual path {related to nature and natural law and less about religion}. A good clue would be the number 5 as a symbol for transformation. It often does point to that application.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Hi Jerry,

I started a more thorough reply to your first response here (that I will finish tomorrow after work), which was derailed by a long conversation with my son.

I was also at the old USDB. I retired just as/after the new (and much smaller, but smarter) prison was built.

It really does seem synchronistic that we both were at Fort Leavenworth.

Initially, I was a Combat Support and Law Enforcement MP, with my Basic and Advanced Individual Training being at Fort McClellan, AL - which is where the MP School moved to after being located at Fort Gordon. They are now at Fort Leonard Wood, MO, which is where I was last assigned as a Senior Training Developer and Writer.

When I was at Leavenworth, I was assigned to the MP Battalion, which used to be named the "USDB MP Battalion." It later became known as the 705th MP Battalion. I am not sure if it is still known thusly. The Air Force and Marines also each supplied a detachment of personnel to assist the Army in its role then as the executor of military corrections. I was there at Leavenworth from 03/1988 to 12/1992 (close to 5 years) and then again from 06/1996-02/200. During my first tour there, we had a near full house, up to 2,400 inmates on a regular basis. The population had dwindled to 1,500 during my second tour, as they began transferring many inmates to the Federal Bureau of Prisons.

At the time I switched over to MP Corrections in 1988 (it was still a one month course), only NCO's could enter the field. I was still a Specialist, as were many making the transition, but was laterally promoted to Corporal with the completion of the MP Corrections Course. Making E-5/Sergeant came easily enough, but there was more competition to make the cut off scores for promotion to E-6/Staff Sergeant, but I still made that and then E-7 and E-8 well ahead of my peers.

I thrived in the military, but there came a day when that way of life crashed for me with the advent of the need for healing in my life. This happened after some very challenging assignments at the USDB (I was the first female NCO to ever manage the Special Housing Unit with the maximum custody, death role and other of the most difficult inmate populations) and then my second failed marriage. There were a few events in my military life which heralded the advent of my movement toward healing, one of which was a Big dream, the meaning of which only became clear to me after I began healing. After the divorce, I simply found myself turning deeply inward and experienced a spontaneous spiritual awakening that I was little prepared for (but that big dream tried to tell me about).

I have had several dreams about prisoners, one very poignant one about a death row inmate that came to help me. One of the things he said to me, in the dream (which was years ago), was, "Did you mother not love you as a child?" And I knew that he knew me, because he knew himself. Talk about prisoners of childhood! How many that end up in prisons come from broken homes?! I was firm with the inmates and kept the rules, but I was also compassionate toward them. More than one said that I should have been a nun, which is something I did contemplate as a child.

I didn't think of looking at the numbers yet! I will also do that and look forward to what more you can share.

I will respond more tomorrow evening.

Kristi



Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 12/21/2019

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Kristi,
The bad thing about my time at the USDB was there was so many young guys incarcerated for AWOL and less serious 'crimes' being housed with harden criminals. I never got involved with helping prisoners with contraband or anything like that but did feel for many who were there. Most were my age {18-19} and many should have never been there. The most scary situations was during movie presentations where prisoners were gathered with just a few guards and pretty much locked in. It was a time when movies like Shaft were shown and it could get quite disorderly. Other than that my time there was non-eventful. In the late 70s I spent another two years in the National Guard mostly for the money. I was a health odes inspector with the health department and was paid for both my regular job and time spent during summer camp. Pretty much a vacation more than military training. There was a lot like myself who had served their 6 year obligation and didn't give a **** about the brass and circumstances and were just serving time for personal reasons. Discipline was pretty much out the window. It was before the guard was required to be a serious unit and most were there for the benefits or working on military retirement. Of course that all changed in the 90s when guard units were the primary units to go to the Iraq. I was told the first 'casualty' during that war was a captain from my unit. My understanding was he committed suicide. I did use my benefits after my service to go to school and buy 4 homes. It was different time in the 70s due to the unpopular war. One that should have never been, made up war much like the second Gulf war.

I will post my thoughts later on the numbers in your last dream since I do believe numbers can be so important.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Kristi,
On the numbers 60-65 in your dream. I take any number stated in a dream as relevant even if passing because what is posted is an unconscious statement which is not just by chance but unconscious intent. 60-65 says to me there are physical applications involved {literal experiences being referenced} since the number 6 often represents the physical self {whereas the number 9 represents the metaphysical or spiritual}. There are two sixes, 60-65 and one number 5. Two having same connections/associations {your shared experiences with me} and 5 representing change or a transformation. The 0 represents wholeness {circle}. When 'reading' the dream these numbers are pointing to aspects of your psyche as much as any other image or action. When compared to actual life they tend to fit as well. I always look at 6s needing a transformation so they become 9s {69 when merged become a 0}. This may seem to be taking liberties with dream applications but I have found my analysis in other dreams to be correct. To go a it further, and if these numbers are referencing me, my actual age is 69. And to go a step even further if you look at the date of your post it wa Jan 2, 2020. 2+2+2=6. A third 6 to go with two 6s in your dream and you have a nine. As for the Jan application it would be 1. Campbell spoke of the one hidden thing {found often in myth and fairy tales} with an application relevant to the psyche representing the hidden emotional energies within the unconscious. This gets complicated but as I stated I have from experience found too many instances where they fit well with other dream images and actions. The unconscious mind and its use of symbolic language is intended and merely needs proper interpretation. The 'universal' mind is the origin of all mindful contents and are all related. This is how nature works and its intent.

This link may be of interest. The number nine is the number of the universe, the universal language being numeric, “Our external physical reality is a mathematical structure”. Although first and foremost Jung was a scientist he dared to venture beyond the realm of known realities into the world of metaphysical possibilities. Of course any metaphysical event is because nature allows to be so and less a paranormal event {beyond nature's control}. My ability to to analyze dreams with no formal education is as much due to my 'intuitive' abilities as it is my knowledge of Jungian psyche {I am an intuitive Jungian}. It is a sixth sense we all possess at some level. Understanding Jungian psyche intuitively is merely tapping into nature's truths, as Jung did in his many discoveries of the psyche. I also see the number nine as the feminine power. In mythology nine is associated with the goddess. In numerology the number 9 is considered to be feminine and introvert. It has a protective energy and it has a great power and love in the soul.

I try to share my principles of dream analysis so to share my experiences but also to make a statement about my experiences. My Dream Forum has been online since 2005 and from all the dreams I have analyzed I have come to conclusions that likely go beyond Jung's. Primarily in the applications of images and actions as well as numbers and dream structure and associations to certain images. Besides numbers I have found that the mention of a child in the first paragraph or opening statement in a dream is a direct reference to literal experiences of the dreamer as a child {and not a symbolic representation}. When I had such a dream I made a point to state this to the dreamer and the responses have always been positive. If the shoe fits......

Most applications I use in dream analysis is Jungian {abiding by his concepts/principles}. These concepts have become ingrained in my psyche from my 27 years of study/experience {where they existed already since they are universal}. And although I may not be able to quote the exact Jungian concept I can provide precise applications due to my intuitive senses and abilities {tapping into the natural realm of the mind}. We all have abilities and when discovered, enhanced and used as a principle they work. When I meet someone I intuitively 'know' them and sense their true persona {which is seldom their true self but is in controls of their actions}. When the intuitive mind is allowed to take free reign the first impression is always correct. It is only when we begin to think and question ourselves that it loses its power. This has been a valuable tool in my life especially with our family business where first impressions are so important. Along with being totally honest in business affairs {the secret to a successful business is honesty} I seldom have had issues with customers. The principle of spirituality incorporated into everyday life.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

First, thank you for welcoming my sharing here (and affirming that I am not imposing). This is an important time of inner work for me and your assistance/sharing is most appreciated. When I am churning in the crucible of my work, caught up in the experience of experiencing the discovery and healing, I cannot see all things clearly and may miss important points. It is very helpful to have another objective point of view at times like this. Also, I believe that, in sharing, our Self sees our efforts to do our inner work, and, thus, it continues. So, my sharing, IS part of my “work.” And I thank you for being a part of it.

This dream has brought a lot of tears, as I consider that young woman who is handing me the pieces of paper. Tears I have not yet finished shedding. I suspect there are many more to come. This dream was so affirming for me. I did my very best to hold close the energy of the complex I carried back to waking life with me from the Need to Be Free from Oppression dream. I knew how very important it was to not ignore the feeling tones. As a result of paying attention, I was given the next step.

I was seeing the %%bbCodeItem_1%% in a positive light, as in showing that I have truly severed the dysfunctional bonds with my birth parents, something I have worked long and hard to do... To not feel corded in emotionally any longer; to not give way to or obey guilt when my mother tried to lay it on me for breaking ranks with the family; to not feel like I was betraying them when years ago I told them that I wanted them to address me by my name (Kristi) and not as sweetie or honey; to not feel guilt when I walked away from any contact with them because I needed to learn who I was that was not their daughter. These were all important steps. For, it not only freed me from identification with them, but also allowed me to begin to take responsibility for my own being/healing.

What I did not see in the dream is something you present (if I am understanding you correctly) – that all these aspects of myself need to know the mother and father in me … that I can achieve this by more fully healing the mother and father in me, both of which do rest on my experience with my birth parents. I see this as very important.

My father passed a couple of years ago. There was but one person praying over him as he passed, one family member standing beside his body before it was placed in the crematorium. That person was me. I had not yet forgiven him. I still work on this. I wished he had been able to speak to me over the years since I started healing, to help me understand his brokenness, but he never offered a word on the occasions I tried to speak to he and my mother. Notwithstanding, my sense of humanity and compassion would have no less from me than to wish this human being who was my father peace and healing and that he be embraced in love It is only since my father’s death that I have been able to approach the idea of a positive and loving masculine aspect of “God” that can be found within me. Before then, all my efforts were focused on healing the mother aspect.

I don’t experience relationship problems with men in my present life situation, because I have (mostly) avoided intimate relationships since I started healing. It always felt important to me to work on my healing before entertaining a relationship. The few times I tried only highlighted what I already really knew … that more healing work needed to be done. Now that I have done the amount of work I have; I feel I could never become involved with the average man. By that I mean someone who has not also done significant inner work or is at least very insightful when it comes to relational and spiritual dynamics.

Perhaps owing to my military experience, I do (overall) get along well and work well with men. Where I know I need more work is in finding the strength to relate more from my feminine nature. I trust this will come in time as I continue to grow to be more and more in tune with my feminine self.

Something I have been taking note of over the last week and more is how many positive, helpful masculine images have appeared in my dreams over the years and that I was never able to really trust them and the help they were providing – stemming from the lack of trust in my birth father. As I now look back over many past dreams, I find myself relating to (and “believing in”) those images, beginning to lovingly and gratefully receive how they have been trying to help me.

Looking at those pieces of paper and the energy of the underground operatives, as experienced in this dream, I am amazed at the love seen in their manner and messages to me. It’s as though I see those men as loyal and loving servants who wish my wholeness, bringing me the precious image of this aspect of myself dying of suffocation from pneumonia.

I have had two takes on the image of the young lady that I understand is dying. One (and my first) was (maybe) that she was dying so that the woman in me could go on living. So, an ego death, in the sense that the complex of being a prisoner to my childhood is dying. I did make it out of that oppressive work farm seen in the Need to Be Free from Oppression dream. In my way of thinking/seeing, I thought that I no longer had “identification credentials” to enter the prison because that “identity” was dying. I say and see this because it was after that loss of identity/identification that I came back to find the young woman of me dying. She was well when I first encountered her in the dream…. Cold, but well. Then, there is the consideration that she was without air/breath/pneuma/spirit. The image of her dying was followed by the encounter with the numinous masculine image who tells me what a remarkable young woman I am … and that I am not any longer under the spell of my parents (no longer a prisoner of my childhood?). He brings /represents the masculine spirit that can carry me into the world, when more fully developed. My feeling impression was that I could accept her death only by pouring love into her, by honoring and memorializing her, by giving her life in the world, through my work and writing, which would give her the voice/breath she lacks. The masculine would help me do this.

Two aspects of the dream bring the greatest emotion (tears) – witnessing the dying of the young lady of me and hearing the words of the numinous masculine after this portion of the encounter with her. She asks me to go to the lab for something that would make her pass more easily… In the dream, I did not think that I could heal her. I only knew that she was in fact dying and I wished to honor her by compassionately helping her. What if my dream ego did not have that piece of the dream right? What if the lab is the crucible of my work, my staying committed to her/memorializing her through my continued work and my writing? This will be a difficult task (not an easy fix), which agrees with your comments.

Another thing was the recognition from the image of my own father in the dream who also affirmed that I ‘have’ always been my own person. As a child I knew a lot of limitation (as do we all), but I also “knew,” deep down, that I was my own person.

I do think the masculine image at the end does point to my interactions with you, Jerry. I looked at the picture of you available on your website and though there are differences, there are enough similarities, which stand alongside my strong intuition that tells me it is so.

Years ago, when I was still on the forum the first time, you had posted a dream of yours. I do not remember all the details, but there was a young woman or adolescent in the dream. Exactly what age your dream cast her as, I do not recall. You indicated that she did not want to leave your company. That was the main gist of the dream, as I remember it. You had asked the then active forum members if we had any ideas about this young female in the dream. Do you remember that dream? I believed strongly (without telling you) that the young female was me, an aspect of me that felt very plussed by and safe in the company of the positive masculine I have seen in you. So, there was a transference (a psychic reality) at play. I believe you picked up on this psychically and it came through in your dream. Through the very positive gains I have experienced through having transferences with three different analysts I have worked with (all women), I believe/know that what develops as a result of transference becomes a psychic force/reality. It (of course) is not identical to the other, as it comes from our own psyche/projections, but I know that within me are three wonderful positive aspects highly flavored by the three different analysts I have worked with.

If you think I am off track or mission something in understanding my dream, please nudge me back in the needed direction.

Just came back to post one more note on being psychic... It has always been a part of my reality, ever since I was a child. Sometimes I think I should give it more attention, but what I most want now is to continue the work of my healing. Example: When I first began healing, I realized/understood that one of the ways my psychic ability manifested was through empathy. As I sought to learn more about this, I saw how many with this faculty blame everything they feel on something outside of themselves, which just isn't the case. It is only when one has healed their own issues to a significant degree that they can actually be clear as to what is/is not their own.

I will respond more on the USDB and numbers, tomorrow.

Thank you,

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Jerry,

I suspect the demographics of the inmate population at the military prison changed over the years. There were many I was aware of that merely had charges of possession of marijuana and lesser crimes like this. But, when I was there, well over 60% of those confined were for violent crimes. I think it was 67%. I used to sit on parole boards, before which I had to study the case files of the inmate that were appearing - and many shivers were felt rippling through me during those moments. Yes, movie call was always a worrisome situation, as well as chow call and recreation call - even work call was a dangerous time - any time we had the largest numbers of inmates moving outside of the housing units to/from/at various activities. Then, there was the design of the prison itself, which did not afford soldiers a greater sense of safety, having to walk/patrol on deep and poorly lit tiers that were six stories up and well out of view of any other guards. There were many cameras, but only one set of eyes to look through the hundreds of images rolling across what was only about 20 small viewing screens/monitors. There were far too many dangerous positions a soldier could be put in due to the poor physical construction of the old facility. The new prison and many other newer prisons are more closely based on Jeremy Bentham's Panopticon model. There was a large riot during my first tour. And another that occurred shortly before I returned in 1996. Then, I had just returned from being a Drill Sergeant and Training NCO at the MP School at Ft. McClellan. The inmates were essentially running the institution through fear and intimidation tactics. Soldier morale was in the basement. They did not trust the chain of command. No one admitted to the fear they felt working there. The command almost immediately put me to work on an important realignment and retraining program within the institution, where I walked side by side with soldiers as they did their jobs down in the Maximum Custody Area (we used to call it MSA in the early days, down on the institution's two lower levels). My job was to role model for/mentor as many soldiers as I could in professional, courageous performance. I reported directly to the Commandant during this time and implemented many safer practices.

Fortunately, I was never deployed in support of any war operations. They did one time try to send me to Guantanamo Bay to be a corrections Subject Matter Expert, but I (thankfully) managed to get out of that, as I was a single mom at the time.

I used to think I would be a 30 year career person and many said I held the potential to become the first female Sergeant Major of the Army. No doubt I would have become a Command Sergeant Major, had I remained, but, with the advent of the powerful spiritual awakening in my life, I simply had to leave the service.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

On the numbers 60-65 in your dream. I take any number stated in a dream as relevant even if passing because what is posted is an unconscious statement which is not just by chance but unconscious intent. 60-65 says to me there are physical applications involved {literal experiences being referenced} since the number 6 often represents the physical self {whereas the number 9 represents the metaphysical or spiritual}. There are two sixes, 60-65 and one number 5. Two having same connections/associations {your shared experiences with me} and 5 representing change or a transformation. The 0 represents wholeness {circle}. When 'reading' the dream these numbers are pointing to aspects of your psyche as much as any other image or action. When compared to actual life they tend to fit as well. I always look at 6s needing a transformation so they become 9s {69 when merged become a 0}. This may seem to be taking liberties with dream applications but I have found my analysis in other dreams to be correct. To go a it further, and if these numbers are referencing me, my actual age is 69. And to go a step even further if you look at the date of your post it wa Jan 2, 2020. 2+2+2=6. A third 6 to go with two 6s in your dream and you have a nine. As for the Jan application it would be 1. Campbell spoke of the one hidden thing {found often in myth and fairy tales} with an application relevant to the psyche representing the hidden emotional energies within the unconscious. This gets complicated but as I stated I have from experience found too many instances where they fit well with other dream images and actions. The unconscious mind and its use of symbolic language is intended and merely needs proper interpretation. The 'universal' mind is the origin of all mindful contents and are all related. This is how nature works and its intent.


Jerry,

The biggest thing that strikes me regarding the synchronicity with the appearance of the masculine (highly flavored by you) in this dream is this: I feel that in my having felt moved to look for your forum again to post my Excavation Work dream, I was following the lead of the masculine (archeologist) in that dream. Through then continuing to dialogue with my dreams here, a psychic connection was formed (if not already formed when I was posting dreams here years ago). I knew from when I was here years ago that you were/"are" intuitive - and I know that I am. I believe that when we look at the dreams of others, we are looking through a window into their soul. For me, this is a very intimate kind of sharing. I consider my dreams and the dreams of others, when shared, as something very sacred. Add heart felt compassion (which I sense in you) to that insight (seeing) and we have an alchemical reaction, which is nourishing to my psyche. I do believe the masculine in my dream is as much you as it is my own inner masculine.

This sharing is most helpful to and healing for me. My conscious self had no idea this positive result waited for me here, but I do believe the unconscious did.

I like what you shared about Joseph Campbell suggesting we look for the one hidden thing...

Your application of the numbers is enlightening. And I must note that they do fit for me. I truly do feel on the verge of very positive change/transformation in my life/journey to discover my true self. As I said in an earlier post, I have always been spiritual, but I have looked in many wrong places to find what has been right here inside of me all along. I have been working on healing (since the powerful kundalini awakening) for 20 years now. For the first half of that journey, I did a lot of seeking outside of myself (shamanic healer, guru, spiritual teacher, etc.). The last 10 years, I returned to the basics and simplicity of life, leaving all the rest alone. While continuing to work on my healing during the last decade, I also did a lot of bean sorting. This is me; this is not me, sort of thing. Really, really returning to my own self/Self. Separating the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. Since coming back to share my dreams here, I can honestly say that things are shifting in me. It is as though my psyche and my Self see my efforts to incorporate/move toward my next step through the action of my sharing here. There are so many things I can say about the spiritual aspect but will just mention just a few here. I have had many profound spiritual experiences/phenomena. My ego used to get really attached to all the experiences. I was filled with a lot of hubris. Part of what I have left alone for the past decade was my spiritual seeking. This was needed while I healed and matured more. Now, I am far more grounded than I have ever been in life and have spirituality in a much clearer perspective than in past years. The goddess is still with me. I can feel her smiling through me in this very moment. I have been moved to finally begin the work of writing my life story – and feel that the story is a universal one that will speak to many. So, your mention of it in the framework of “following my bliss” was/is experienced as a real affirmation to me. It is the only thing that will give meaning to the suffering my life has known…great suffering. I think that a greater sense of my wholeness will result from the telling of it. It is something I have always felt Life intended for me to do.

I am out of time to say more this morning, so will post this for now.

Oh, real quick: I am not sure if you looked at this. If I take your age: 6 + 9 and add to it the date of my dream: 1 + 2 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 0, we get 22, which is known as the master builder, among other things.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Kristi,
There is great evidence numbers do have meaning in dreams. Both Jung and Campbell thought as much. As much unconscious than conscious but that may be the natural connection with the collective soul and nature.

Then there is the number 9. As strange as that may seem when you are in public life the number 9 is more likely to be a part of our daily experiences than any other. I see the number 9 as representing the feminine and I believe the feminine is more powerful than the masculine {we are all feminine before development in the womb and taking on a permanent gender}. The goddess more powerful than the gods. The greatest feminine power in human life is the earth. We are all stardust so we all possess the same basic elements we would find in deeper outer space.

As to your 6 + 9 and add to it the date of my dream: 1 + 2 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 0= 22. One step further you get 4 {2+2} which in Jungian psyche represents wholeness. Numbers when taken to its fullest extent will always point to wholeness since it is nature's goal for wholeness and balance. Yet there is continuous chaos in the universe and what is true in the universal realm is true within the human realm. Conflict, what can you do about it when it is a part of all existence? The universe is expanding yet scientists believe it will eventually collapse within itself. The ultimate inner journey and the blueprint for human journey inward. When we are able to figure out the patterns that control the universe we have the outline of the patterns that govern life on earth. One follows the other. It is true it is because nature allows it to be.

Jerry

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 69 Altoona, Fl

Re: Prisoner of Childhood Dying

Jerry,

Yes, I caught the wholeness aspect (4) embodied in the 22.

I do agree the the feminine is more powerful than the masculine. This is know from direct experience.

Your reminding me of this adds a very important element of interpretation to the dream, which rests in the masculine acknowledging what a remarkable woman I am. So, pointing me back to my feminine self, which your post has also done. Thank you.

Kristi

Age & Gender & Location {Required}: 53, USA

Have You Posted Before? Date of Last Post {Use Search and Your Post Name to Help Find Last Post} Yes, 01/02/2020

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